Tuesday December 21, 1999
I've been trying to be good this week, but I am finding that I honestly have no motiviation. Funny, I can't figure out what used to motivate me. I should go back and read some of my old journal entries. Anyhow, althought I didn't get to the step class last night, I managed to get up for a 5:30am training session. It was okay, but I felt like I didn't really give it my all.
Other than the usual, nothing exciting really happened to me today. I'm looking forward to some time off at the end of this week although I don't get holiday pay yet since I am a consultant and get paid hourly. I realized that I really don't like doing this consulting thing - it feels more like a "temp" job if you ask me. There is the risk of having down time and not getting paid for a few weeks or God forbid a few months and the monotony of the work. There's also the risk of getting put on a non-challenging project; the fact that people think that you don't have a college degree or good credentials or good experience. But, I guess on the upside I get paid time and a half for overtime; the hours are pretty flexible; I can go to school; and it's less stressful (when you're working). Still, because I am not as secure with who I am as I should be, the way the client sees you can be a bit demoralizing. Maybe this whole experience is supposed to teach me to be more secure with myself. Whatever lesson it may be, I hope I learn it.
Water: 32
Gym Hours (today): 1
Total Gym Hours (month to date): N/A
Avg hours per day (month to date): N/A
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