South Miami, Fla-- The verdict is in- Burger King's new space age logo has resulted in better tasting hamburgers. The blue circle, which is "an ingeniously subtle but effective" futuristic blue circle around the same hamburger icon, cost $42,000,000, say Sosa, Bromley, Aguilar & Associates and D'Arcy, Masius, Benton & Bowles, Saatchi & Saatchi Advertising, and UniWorld Group, Inc., Burger King Corporation's 578 man advertising and marketing team.
"And it's worth every penny, I'd say," says Marvin Dylnick, Burger King's Senior President of Marketing. "It's incredible, the response that the revamped logo has generated. The customer comment cards have been flooding in and it's virtually unanimous- The blue circle improves the taste of the burgers."
And, to prove it, Dylnick randomly picked a comment card from a mailbag strategically placed on his desk.
"Here's one, and I quote, 'Burgers taste better and fresher with new logo.' Now, that's coming right from the customer's mouth."
The Daily Tabloid sent their roving correspondent to a random selection of Burger Kings to conduct its own customer poll of the new logo.
"No, not really," responded one single mother of four. "Well, wait, there is a distinct difference, now that you mention it. The buns are staler than usual. I didn't even notice the new logo until you brought it up."
Another customer had made a more interesting observation.
"The new blue streak around the old burgers makes the food taste… I don't know, faster. Yeah, the food tastes like the Internet, which is appropriate since it is fast food and since I have Internet access."
Burger King employees were more guarded in their appraisal of the new logo's efficacy.
"I'm on break," said one young Hispanic male chewing on a cheeseburger. "You blind, maracon?"
After the correspondent explained his business to the future repeat offender, the Burger King employee exclaimed,
"New logo? So that's why they gave us these gay new uniforms." When asked if the new logo impacted on the food, he said, "Nah. The food still sucks, man. Once I earn enough green to pay for that cherry bomb muffler for my Chevy Chevelle, I'm a dot on the horizon, baby."
"Well, obviously you can't reach everybody," explains Dylnick, "because some people have finer palates than others."
When asked how a static logo which had remained essentially unchanged could alter the ingredients of their food, resulting in better taste, Dylnick replied, never losing his set smile,
"Well, uh, the new logo must make the employees feel renewed, invigorated. That's reflected in the preparation. Sort of the way Mom's cooking is better because the special secret ingredient is Love."
Then, after being asked what publication our correspondent was from, he'd confessed that it was The Daily Tabloid.
"That's funny. You told me that you were from the Miami Herald.
It was at this point that the Tabloid correspondent was gently but firmly escorted from the corporate headquarters by the security staff.