(From Chris' Rock's Rock This! Click here to Buy it today!)

For the week beginning July 21st 1999

"She's Ugly But She Sure Can Cook!"

A woman can fall in love with an ugly man and admit it. She
can show him off to all her friends and the family--even if he's
the ugliest guy in the world.  She'll be proud of the ugly man,
hold his hand, drag him around, introduce him to people.
"This is Kevin.  I want you to meet Kevin.  I know he's not that 
attractive.  But he's good to me."

Women are cool like that.  Guys aren't.  A man will never
admit to bein in love with an ugly woman. He will hide that
to the death.  He's telling nobody.

      YOUR FRIEND: Hey, man.  I heard you got married.
       YOU:                 Shhh! Who told you that?

Mean have women we'll fuck--but we won't take them out.
"You want to go out?  Well, you're out.  You're out of your 
bed and into my bed at my house."
Guys are full of shit.  Tht's mean, right?  We have women
we'll fuck but we won't take out!
Women are just as mean.
You've got men you let take you out . . . but you won't fuck.
There are guys on dates right now who aren't getting any, and 
never will.  Someon'es speding big dough in some restaurant
and on some show, but it's still no go.  Not going to work.

That's the problem with men: we always think we can buy
sex.  "If I take her here she'll give me some.  If i buy here this
she'll give me some."
Nothing gets you nothing.
A woman knows if she's going to fuck you within the  first
five minutes of meeting you. Women know right away.  Women
know on the handshake.  As they gripu your hand, if they like
you, they're thing, "I'm going to fuck him. I hope he doesn't
say anything stupid."

Listen up, men: womonea re all about the mood.  If a woman's
in the mood and she wants you, just shut up and let it
happen. If you say somehting wrong those panties will come 
up mighty fast.

HIM:  What team did Malcolm X play for?
HER:   What's did you say? Excuse me?

Then she has to phone her girlfriend the next day.
"Yeah, I was to going to give him some, but he started talking. 
Just talking, yakkety, yak.  I hate a yakking man."


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