December 20, 1899

"Merry Christmas!" Medda called out to the audience. She had just walked on stage and saw a crowd of familiar faces. They all screamed back the greeting as the music started, and she began to sing a Christmas carol.

Christmas was her favorite time of year, but also along with Christmas came a certain sorrow that she could, nor would, ever forget. It had been thirty-five years ago that she had met him. She continued to sing flawlessly as she thought of the past. She looked down into the audience and saw the face that she had been picturing in her mind. She closed her eyes briefly thinking that it was all in her imagination, but when she opened them, she was still looking into that face. She felt her breath catch in her throat, and for the first time in her entire life, she was unable to sing. All words, sound and breath escaped her. Fear, pain and loss gripped her. She looked out at the audience before she ran off of the stage.

Jack had been sitting up in the balcony with his friends when he saw Medda freeze. He instantly took off after her. He was backstage by the time she was just reaching her dressing room.

"Medda!" She turned to see Jack approaching her. "Are ya okay? What's wrong?"

"I must be losing my mind, Jack. I swear I saw Robert out there."

Jack looked puzzled. "Robert? As in Pat's pop?" Medda nodded. Jack ran his fingers through his hair. "Wow!" He looked around the back stage area. Jack and Medda had tried and succeeded for so long to keep their relationship a secret, for Jack's sake, so he rarely called her 'Aunt'. "Are ya sure, Aunt Medda? I mean it has been so long since ya last saw 'im."

Medda nodded. "I'm sure, Kelly. He was in the audience." Jack nodded. He knew that when Medda said she was sure about something, then she was sure about it. There was no questioning it.

"Well, maybe he didn't. . ."

Medda shook her head. "He did. I know he did." Medda shook her head again as she turned to walk into the dressing room, but she stopped when she heard a deep, sweet voice.

"Hello." She turned to look into the green and gold flecked eyes she had looked into all those years ago. Years that were quickly dissolving and mixing with the present.

*****

THIRTY-FIVE YEARS AGO

*****

December 20, 1864

The maid tightened the corset one more time and stopped because she heard her young employer groan. "You're at seventeen inches, miss." The young girl took a deep breath. "Good. I don't want to go any tighter for fear I might get a case of the vapors." She sat down at her vanity and looked at herself in the mirror. She never really thought of herself as being overly pretty, but she thought of herself as pretty. She had long red hair that curled wildly unless pinned back. Her blue eyes sparkled and shown the spirit that was in her. She was a girl with a great spirit. Her thin straight nose was near perfect, and her lips were a little on the thin side, but she always made them seem fuller than they were by applying make up to them. She had a curvy, full figure that was pleasing to look upon. Her skin was a pale white, but her cheeks were always rosy. She was a medium height, which was perfect because then her heels made her the perfect height. She was a medium build to where she was thin, but she had meat on her bones. She was healthy. She wasn’t full figured enough that she couldn't tighten her laces, but she didn’t need to tightened them to look thin. To herself she was pretty, but to everyone else, she was beautiful.

She piled her hair up on the top of her head. "I think I'm going to wear my hair down today, Trudy. It's too cold out to wear it up." She let her hair fall in it's normal unruly mass of curls. "Besides, I'll have a bonnet on. Who will notice?" The maid nodded.

"Medda? Medda?" Medda turned from her mirror to see her younger sister come in the door to her room. "Oh, Medda. I'm so nervous about tonight. What if I do something improper?"

Medda couldn't help smiling. "I don't think you will have that problem, Kelly. You haven't messed up yet. You'll do fine." Medda turned back to the mirror, so Trudy could try to tame the curls somewhat. “This is no big thing, dear. We’re just going to the town gathering in the park. You’ll do fine. Just go by the rules mother set for you, and you’ll do fine.” Kelly nodded. She hadn’t actually been introduced into society yet because she was only ten. She wasn’t allowed to go to any of the private parties Medda could go to, but she wasn’t eighteen either.

An hour later, Medda was dressed in a very becoming dark green silk dress with lace edging the several layers to the dress. She had on a green velvet jacket that was a shade or two lighter than the dress and she had on a white bonnet that covered her still untamed curls. Trudy had done her best, but she was unable to make the curls more subtle. Medda waited at the base of the stairs for her parents and her younger sister. They were all heading to the gathering, which was a rarity because her father never attended any sort of party or dinner. He always claimed that social events were just an excuse for sin. He was the local minister for the small Upstate New York town. The Olson’s weren’t high society, but they were upper middle class, and being the minister’s family, they were invited to all the parties.

Medda and Kelly’s breath was taken away as they saw the city park was lit with candles and street lamps. The light gave it a wonderland glow to it. In the center of the park, near the pond, there was an ice castle. It glittered and shone in the soft candle light. Medda walked with her sister as they approached the castle. It was breath taking. Every inch of it. It looked as if a miniature royal court should be held in the center of it. The two young women bent down to look in the carefully carved windows. There was a soft light in the middle, but it was just the reflection of the candles that were all around the sculpture.

Kelly looked up at her sister and sighed. “Do you think that the park in New York City is as magical as ours,” she asked in a dreamy voice. Kelly had always dreamed of going to New York, but she never voiced that dream to either of their parents because it was forbidden. Their father viewed it as a city of sin.

“I would think it’s even more so. I could see the entire city covered in a blanket of snow. It would be like a winter wonderland.” Both girls smiled as they stood and turned around. Medda rubbed her gloved hands together. “What do you say we go get some hot cocoa and some roasted chestnuts?” Kelly eagerly nodded and followed her sister across the park.

*****

Robert Harrell watched as the two young women walked across the park arm in arm. The older one was breath taking. He knew he had to talk to her. He looked into his cup of hot cocoa and took a deep breath. He wasn’t a shy man, but he was a cautious man. He didn’t’ want to anger anyone by speaking to her, so he had to make sure she wasn’t married or engaged first. He watched her for several more minutes, and in that time span, he noticed that several young men that were close to her age approached her. She appeared gracious to each of them, laughing at a joke they told, or seeming infinitely interested in what they had to say, even if she wasn’t. He set his cup down and slowly approached her. He stopped only a few feet from her. Her back was to him, and he couldn’t help admiring the gentle curve of her back.

“Hello.” He watched as she slowly turned around.

Medda couldn’t believe her eyes. The man that had said ‘hello’ to her just then was strikingly handsome. He was tall with dark hair that appeared black in the dim lighting of the park. His eyes were a pure green with gold flecks that sparkled as the light played in them. His jaw and cheek bones were extremely defined. His lips were semi full, but appeared soft. His smile was stunningly white and straight. He was handsome. God, was he handsome. Medda was finding it hard to breathe, and was slightly beginning to fear that she was having a touch of the vapors. She had tried to avoid that tonight because she hated fainting in public, but she was finding looking at him was causing her to be dizzy. Suddenly she realized that she was staring and she blushed as she turned away. She looked back at him a moment later and smiled.

“I’m sorry. Hello.” She held out her hand and he kissed it very gently. Medda smiled as she felt her hand tingle from his innocent touch. “I’m Medda Olson. And you are?”

“Colonel Robert Harrell.” He slowly lowered Medda’s hand, but he still held on to it once he had it lowered. Medda slowly pulled her hand away and smiled.

“I’m pleased to make your acquaintance, Colonel Harrell. This is my sister Kelly.” Robert gave a short bow to Kelly and smiled. Kelly couldn’t help giggling a little. “What brings you to this small town, Colonel Harrell?”

“Please call me Robert.” Medda nodded. “I just got out of West Point, I’m an instructor there, and I’m on my way home for a short stay before I get my orders.”

Medda was instantly taken by the young Colonel. He appeared to be only ten years older than her. She had had several offers for company by the young men in the town, but she had turned them all down. They just weren’t what she was looking for in a man, but this man, Colonel Harrell, was exactly what she was looking for.

By the end of the night, Medda was wishing he didn’t have to leave town in the morning. She had always been told by her father that she was brazen and bold, and this was one of the few times she actually believed that. “Must you go?”

“I have to be in my home town by tomorrow afternoon. If I’m not, I will have a lot of people to answer to.”

“Your family?” Medda understood that family was important.

“Yes. I promise to stop back by here and see you before I go to my assignment.” He took Medda’s hands as they stood in the center of the park, in front of the ice sculpture. “I’m really glad I met you, Medda. You show me what I have to look forward to.” Medda wasn’t one to blush, but with that sweet statement, she couldn’t help it. Robert leaned down and gently kissed her lips. “I promise to stop back and see you in about a week.” Medda nodded and watched as he let go of her hands and walked off into the night. She was absentmindedly rubbing her lips when Kelly walked up to her.

“He seemed real nice, Medda.”

“Kel, that’s the man I’m going to marry. I just know it.” Medda said as she watched him mount his horse and ride off.

******

“Hello.” Medda’s breath caught in her throat when she heard that soft, but deep voice. She had opened the door to find Robert standing on the other side.

“Hello.” She moved for him to come in and as he stepped into the entryway of the house. He pulled Medda into a hug. “I guess I don’t have to ask if you missed me.”

“I’ve missed you so much. I don’t know why, but a week seemed to take forever. I know this sounds strange, but I feel as if I was meant to meet you last week. And that our meeting will forever change my life.” He smiled the same brilliant smile he had smiled that night at the town gathering. The same smile that made her go weak in the knees.

Medda didn’t know what to say. She was a little frightened and a lot excited that he had been thinking the same thing she had been feeling. She cleared her throat and smiled. “Would you like to come in?” He nodded and followed her into the parlor. She was pleased that the parlor was empty. She sat down on the sofa and was surprised when he joined her. It surprised her even more when he sat as close as he could without her being on his lap.

Her surprise increased when he moved his hand to cup her face. “I was thinking back on the night we met and the brief kiss I had given you.” Medda nodded. She was a little nervous. That ‘brief kiss’ as he called it was the deepest kiss she had ever received. All her others had been pecks on the cheek, if even that.

“You---you have?”

“I have. I was rather embarrassed over the entire thing. I regretted it later. . . .”

“Regretted it? Why?” Medda didn’t give him a chance to finish.

He placed a finger on her soft lips and Medda closed her eyes at his soft touch. “I regretted it because it wasn’t a proper kiss.” Medda opened her mouth to ask what he meant when she quickly found out. Robert closed his mouth on hers and pulled her closer. Medda wanted to fight him off. She knew it was the best thing she should do, but all of her senses were telling her to do something else entirely. They were telling her to kiss him back. She listened to herself and wrapped her arms around his neck. Robert took that as his cue to deepen the kiss. He started to lower her back against the seat of the sofa, but Medda quickly wriggled from his arms and stood up.

“How dare you?!” Medda walked to where she felt she was a safe distance from him. “How dare you kiss me, and then try to take it further?!” Medda’s voice was no where near calm, but she wasn’t yelling either. It was just loud enough that her anger was evident, but no one outside of the room could hear.

“I thought it was what you wanted. You never fought me.” Robert stopped his protest and slowly stood up. He walked over to Medda and she slowly backed up. She came to a sudden stop as she felt the edge of the mantle touch her shoulders. Robert walked up with in an inch of her and lightly touched her cheek. “Oh, Medda, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take it so far. I didn’t mean to scare you. Can you forgive me?”

Medda could forgive him easily, but her temper was flared and she wasn’t about to say ‘yes I forgive you’ and fall right back into his arms. She wasn’t about to let it lie. She had always been told she had a fierce temper, and it was true. He red hair was only a sign of her temper. “I’m not sure I can. You see Robert, my mother and sister are home. You tried to take it too far with them mere feet away. What would you try if we were alone? Would you have stopped?” Robert wasn’t sure how to react to her. Her tone was cold and edgy. Her blue eyes were now ice cold. She was angry, and he had a feeling that if she was pushed she would be yelling at any moment.

“I stopped, didn’t I? I would never do anything to hurt you.”

Medda shook her head and took his hand from her face. “I’m not so sure you would have stopped. I’m sorry Robert. I like you. I do, but I can’t see you if I feel uncomfortable. I hope you have better luck with the women at your new post.” She ducked under his arm and turned her back to him. “Good-bye, Robert.” Medda was trying her hardest to not cry, but her voice was cracking as she said good-bye.

“Good-bye, Medda.” Robert slowly walked out of the parlor. Medda jumped at the soft sound of the front door closing. She wiped a tear as it rolled down her cheek. She refused to cry. She absolutely refused to cry. She was stronger than that. She set herself down in the closest chair and watched him mount his horse and ride off.

It would be several months before she would see him again.

*****

FOUR MONTHS LATER

*****

Medda walked through the masses of the wounded and sick. It was overwhelming. She had never realized how many men were being injured in this war. It had seemed so far away from her small upstate town, but now the reality of it was sinking in quickly. She knew she would never be able to forget the images that she was taking in. Why had she convinced her father to let her help in the hospitals in New York City? She was seriously wishing that she was back at home, and that she never had to see any of this. The sad thing was that this was her first day. She hadn’t even had contact with the patients. This was just her tour before she met the doctor she would be working under.

She stopped following the nurse that was leading her through the ward when she saw a young man that was younger than her with the top of his head and face bandaged. The bandage stopped just below the eyes. Medda could see the bruises and dried blood under the young soldier’s eyes. From what she could see, she could tell that he would be extremely handsome, but she couldn’t help wondering if he would be after his injuries healed. Then the thought that he was someone’s child and possibly someone’s lover came into her mind. She tried to push that thought out of her head, but she had no luck. It was there, and it would forever be there because all of these wounded and sick soldiers were someone’s child, lover, husband, brother. They were real---not a horrible dream she was walking through.

Before she could stop herself, she found herself compelled to ask what had happened to the young soldier she was looking at. "Excuse me, but what happened to him?" She pointed to the boy, and at the sound of her voice, the boy turned his head to the direction of Medda’s melodious voice.

"His gun exploded in his face, and it burned his eyes. He will never be able to see again." Medda nodded and reached down to touch his hand. The boy gripped her hand in his and Medda bit her lip to keep from crying.

"I’m so very sorry." She pulled her hand from his and moved to catch up to the nurse.

The nurse continued the tour without mentioning the boy again. "This is the main room. Most of the patients are kept here till they are well enough to either go home or return to battle. If they are really sick or too wounded to be near the others we put them in their own room on a different ward, but the majority of the patients are kept here." Medda nodded as she tried not to look at the other patients. She knew that she couldn’t bare to hear the story of another young man. She was still fighting the emotions she was feeling with the last one. "Now, I’ll take you to meet Colonel Harrell. He’s the surgeon you will be aiding. He’ll explain your duties to you then." Medda nodded, but it only took a second for the name to sink in. Harrell? Colonel Harrell? It couldn’t be. Fate wouldn’t be so cruel to place her under the order of Robert Harrell. She wasn’t sure she could see him again. She didn’t trust herself around him. She had thought about him everyday since she had thrown him out, and now she was to be working for him? Fate wouldn’t be so cruel.

The nurse led her to a room that had very drab and meager furnishings in it. There was an old cherry wood desk with a matching chair. Both were obviously well worn. There were two chairs on the other side of the desk. Both of those looked as if they were about to fall apart any minute. Medda looked around the room to see that there wasn’t anything that could possibly tell her if this Colonel Harrell was Robert. She kept praying beyond hope that it wasn’t. She wasn’t sure she could be gracious to him under the circumstances.

"Colonel Harrell should be in shortly. You can wait for him in here." The nurse left after her curt instruction. She had been friendly enough, and Medda liked her, so even if Colonel Harrell was Robert, she knew she would have a friend she could talk to. Maybe not confide in, but talk to none the less. Medda sat in one of the rickety chairs and waited for Colonel Harrell to come in. She didn’t have to wait long before he entered the room.

"Hello." Medda froze when she heard that sweet voice. Fate had been cruel. It was Robert. "I’m Colonel Harrell." Robert walked around to look at Medda and froze when he saw her. "Medda."

Medda took a deep breath and slowly stood up. "Hello, Robert. How have you been?"

"I didn’t make the connections when they said I was getting a new assistant---a Miss Olson." He smiled, and Medda found it had the same effect on her as it had four months ago. "I’m fine. How have you been?"

"Good." She was unbelievably nervous about the entire situation. She was nervous about working with the wounded. She was nervous about working so far away from home in a strange city, but most of all she was nervous about working with Robert, and in what would probably be very close surroundings. She wasn’t sure she could trust herself, or her heart. She had started to lose her heart to him once before, and she didn’t want to lose it again.

"Well, I guess you are my new assistant. What I’ll need you to do is to assess which patients need surgery right away and which ones can wait. I may on occasion need you to help in surgery, but that will only be when my nurse can’t be in there for one reason or another. You will help me make my rounds and take notes on the patients I see. You will also help the patients with anything they may need. That means if they need you to write a letter, or help them walk around the ward, or someone to just talk to, you are that person. Do you think you can handle it?"

Medda nodded. "I won’t have a problem with any of that. What I have a problem with is us. Robert, I want to apologize. . . ."

Robert interrupted her by putting his hand up. "Our personal past has nothing to do with the task at hand. It doesn’t need to be brought up." He grabbed a note book from the drawer of his desk. "I suggest we get started with your duties. Follow me." Medda followed him out and took the pad of paper he handed her as he walked passed her. It bothered her that he suddenly got so cold when she mentioned the last time they had seen each other. Had he really been sorry? Had he cared more for her than what he had said? She shook her head and decided that she wouldn’t let her personal life to get involved with her job. She had too much to do to allow it to do so.

*****

Medda had been working at the hospital for a month, and had quickly come to realize that she couldn't let the patients bother her. She had to think of them as anything but human as she assessed their wounds. Detaching herself was a little harder when it came to seeing them after surgery because she then had to get personal as she wrote letters for them, or as she bathed them. Her duties were simple, and there were enough patients that she didn't see Robert too often, which was good. The less she saw him, the less she thought of him.

Her luck of not having to see him and work very closely with him ran out one day. She sat beside a Private's bed as she wrote a letter for him. She looked up when she heard Robert call her name across the ward. He was in his surgical gear, and covered in blood.

"Medda! I need you!" Medda quickly apologized to the Private as she set her writing pad down and started toward Robert.

"What is it, Dr. Harrell?"

"It's Debbie. She's sick, and we just got in another load of wounded. I need you to be my assistant. Do you think you can handle it?" He was looking into her eyes.

"I'm not sure, but I can try."

Robert shook his head. "There is no try. You have to." He grabbed her arm and pulled her into the operating room.

Medda looked at the small boy lying on the table and couldn't believe her eyes. He appeared to be no older than sixteen. She swallowed hard because she saw the huge wound to his stomach. She knew he had tons of shrapnel in him, and she had a good feeling that he wouldn't survive. She looked at Robert and saw he was thinking the same thing.

"We've got to try." He gave her a brief introduction to the tools he would need, and she took her place beside him.

After ten hours of intense surgery, the last patient was brought in. Medda looked at the young man that was only a little older than her. She looked at the face one more time and suddenly recognized him. He was a young man in her perish back home. Oh, God, she had played hide- and-go-seek with him when they were little. She knew him. The war was no longer something she could stay detached from. She swallowed hard as tears filled her eyes and an ever growing lump formed in her throat. She helped Robert through the surgery, but everything was a blur and she could barely think when he asked for an instrument.

As soon as the young man was finished and out of surgery she numbly left the operating room. Robert stared at her as she walked silently out of the room. She covered her mouth as she ran up the stairs. She barely made it to her room before she spilled the few contents of her stomach into her chamber pot. She wiped her mouth and leaned against the wardrobe. She finally let the hot tears fall. She covered her face as she let the sobs rake her body.

After an hour of crying, someone knocked on her door. She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "Come in." The door hesitantly opened and Robert slowly walked in.

"Are you all right, Medda?"

She wiped her eyes again. "I'm fine." He gave her a questioning look. "Really. I'm just tired. It was a really hard day."

Robert nodded and slowly walked a little closer. "That it was." He knelt down in front of Medda and placed his hand on her forehead. He had noticed during the last surgery how pale she had gotten. She was almost as white as her blouse, that was now permanently stained red with blood. "You did good today. Thank you." She nodded and closed her eyes against the visions that were wanting to force their way into her mind. Robert watched her for a moment, and was beginning to guess what was wrong. "Are you feeling all right?"

Medda shook her head, but whispered, "Yes."

Robert couldn't help smiling at her answer. "The last kid got to you, didn't he?"

Medda nodded her head, but said, "No." Tears began to well up in her eyes.

“How did you know him?” Robert’s question caught her off guard. She looked up at him as her tears started to spill again. This time it wasn't quite as bad because she wasn't sobbing, but quietly crying instead.

"He was a member of my parish. We use to play at church picnics together when we were little. He got married a little over a year ago to a girl in a neighboring town. I saw him lying there and I saw most of his life in an instant. He's only a year older than me." She started to cry harder and Robert pulled her closer to him. She laid her head on his chest and cried into his clean shirt. Robert just stroked her tick red curls and tried to comfort her.

"It's hard Medda. It's hard, but it's what we have to do. You are more than likely going to see more men you know. You have to detach yourself. It's hard, but you have no choice." Medda nodded. She understood what he meant, but he didn't have such personal contact with the men as she did. He didn't talk to them, or play games with them, or write their last letter home for them. He did surgery on them and then checked on them the next day. He could be detached. She felt like saying all of this to him, but she didn't. Instead she thought about how great it felt to be in his arms. He broke the silence on the moment as he pulled her off of his chest. "Are you feeling a little better? Do you need anything?"

Medda nodded. "Hold me." She slowly stood and Robert followed as they moved to her bed. They climbed up on to it and he gathered her in his arms. That had been exactly what he had wanted her to say. He had been avoiding her since she had gotten there, but that hadn't been impossible today. And with her crying he had to hold her, but once he was, he didn't want to let go. He wanted to hold her for the rest of his life. He rubbed her arm and kissed the top of her head. Medda slowly lifted her head to look at him. He smiled, but it was brief because he looked into her eyes and slowly started to lean in closer. As his mouth captured hers in a pure, but passionate kiss, Medda wrapped her arms around his neck. Robert slowly lowered her down as he covered her body with his.

*****

The next coherent thought that Medda had was when she woke up in Robert's arms the next morning. She looked over at him and was instantly horrified at what she had done. She wasn't even sure if she loved him. All she knew was that his kiss had blown away all defenses that she had built up against falling for him again, and now she had just slept with him. She climbed out of bed and put her robe on. She walked over to the window and watched the sun slowly start to rise over the city. New York was amazing. Robert was amazing, but she wasn't sure if the latter was real. She closed her eyes against all of the confusion she was feeling. She snapped them open a moment later when she felt two arms go around her waist.

"Morning, Lark." Robert kissed her on the back of the head.

"Lark?" She turned her head slightly so she could see him out of the side of her eye.

Robert shrugged. "I've heard you sing to some of the patients. You have the voice of a Meadow Lark. I thought it fit you." Medda smiled at his sweet name for her, but still what had happened last night was bugging her immensely.

"Robert, about last night, I---" Robert placed a finger over her lips.

"Medda, I don't want you to feel guilty over what happened. I meant every moment of it. You mean the world to me, and you always will." Medda leaned her head back against his chest.

"I never meant for any of this to happen. I built walls up, so I wouldn't feel this for you. Not after last time, and now I feel it ten times more." She turned in his arms and he kissed her.

*****

Medda quickly became Robert's surgical assistant, and she quickly became very good at it. Although she was in surgery most days, and they were all day surgeries, she still found time to talk to the soldiers and help them with any thing they needed. She enjoyed the personal contact. Robert had been right. She had seen several men come through the hospital, and she had seen just as many not make it out of the hospital. It was a depressing time, but she loved that she was helping. It made her feel better about herself, and it somehow made the war a little easier to bare.

Even though she was busy, she did write home often, and she did receive letters back just as often. She hated that she was missing Kelly growing up, but she loved what she was doing too much to go home. The last letter she had received from home had been short, but it was nice to hear from them. She knew they didn’t have much time to write because it was nearing Easter. Medda read the letter over and over. She did that with every letter till she got the next one. It seemed to take the edge off of her missing them. A lot of the edge was taken off by Robert too. They had been lover for almost a month.

Medda laid the letter down and rolled over. She placed her head on Robert’s chest. He instinctively wrapped his arm around her. She was running his fingers through the hair on his chest as she tried to bolster up the courage to tell him how she felt about him. She wasn’t sure if he felt the same way, but she needed to tell him. “Robert?” Her voice was melodious as she whispered his name.

“Hmmm?” Robert didn’t open his eyes as he rubbed her arm and waited to hear what she had to say.

“We’ve been together a month now, and it might seem fast, but I. . .I love you.”

Robert opened his eyes and looked at Medda. She couldn’t read his expression in the dim lighting of her room. He pulled her closer and kissed her on the top of her head. “I love ya too, Lark.” Medda smiled and closed her eyes. Everything was working out perfect. As she slept that night, Medda dreamed of Robert and what their life together would be like. It would be perfect.

*****

“This one has massive trauma to his leg and his side.” The orderly laid the next patient on the operating table. Medda looked down at him and winced. His leg was terrible. It looked as if he wouldn’t make it out of surgery without losing his leg, if not his life. She swallowed hard as she prepped the area for surgery. She hadn’t been feeling well all day, and the five hours she had spent in surgery wasn’t helping any. She wiped her forehead on her sleeve. She felt so feverous. She handed Robert the tool he asked for, but she hadn’t heard him. It had just been an automated reaction. She went about her duties during the surgery able to repress the queasy feeling that was growing ever stronger until Robert had to cut the leg off. She watched and as he hit a main vein, she felt the bile rising in her throat. She dropped the instrument she was holding and ran out of the operating room.

Medda leaned over the rail to the back entrance to the hospital as she spill the few contents of her stomach out. She slowly sank to the ground and wiped her mouth on her handkerchief. She took several deep breaths in an attempt to stop the world from spinning around her. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. She felt as if the world didn’t stop spinning soon, she was going to be sick again. After she sat there for close to an hour she slowly stood up and walked back into the operating room. She felt well enough to handle everything. She washed her hands and walked back over to the table.

Robert looked up from his current patient and raised an eye brow. “Are you all right?”

“I think I am.” Medda took the tools from the assistant that had very quickly filled her place. “I can take it from here.” She prepared for the next surgery, and as Robert made the first incision, she lost it. She felt the bile rising again, and once again she made a mad dash for the back door. Robert shook his head as he continued to operate.

*****

Medda laid in bed with a cool cloth over her forehead. Her fever had come down, and she was feeling slightly better when Robert walked into her room late that night. He gently set down on the side of her bed and felt for a fever. “How are ya feeling?”

Medda attempted a smile, but she didn’t quite reach it. “Better, sort of.” She closed her eyes for a moment as a wave of nausea washed over her. “I’d be even better if this flu would go away.” Robert smiled. It was just like Medda to make a joke even when she wasn’t feeling well. “I think I caught it from one of the patients. Private Johnson had the flu last week. I think I caught it from him. I’ll be fine in a day or so.” Robert nodded as he dipped her rag back into the basin of cool water beside her bed. He placed on her forehead and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“Get your rest. You don’t have to work for a few days. Get better.” Medda nodded as she closed her eyes. She had forgotten that having the flu could be absolutely exhausting.

*****

Medda was going about her toilette when another strong wave of nausea hit her. She walked over to her chamber pot and waited. She was lucky. This one passed with out her being sick. With everyday, she was becoming more and more aware of her condition. It had been three weeks since she had had the flu, and the flu didn’t hang on for three weeks. And it didn’t just affect you in the morning. She was quickly realizing that she was pregnant. She hadn’t had her monthly flux yet, but she still had a week before that was due. She would give it another week before she would talk to Robert about this.

*****

Medda took a deep breath as she walked into Robert’s office. She was more than curtain that she was pregnant. It had been a month and a half since she had gotten the flu and she was still sick every morning. Plus she had never gotten her monthly flux. She was so nervous that she was feeling sick to her stomach at that moment. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous. She should be happy. She was going to have a baby. She was going to have Robert’s baby. She knew he would be happy. He loved her. That was all that mattered. She knew he would take care of her, and he would marry her. That was the one thing she wanted more than anything.

Robert looked up as Medda entered the office. “Hello, Lark. How are you?”

“Um. . .I’ve felt better.” Robert suddenly became worried, and it showed on his face.

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”

“Actually, yes. But it’s not physical right now, anyway. This is because of nerves.” She took a deep breath as she sat on the edge of his desk. “Robert, I love you.”

“I love you.”

She smiled. It was off to a good start. “I have something to tell you. Okay, I can do this. I’m pregnant. I’ve known for a little over a month now. I’m going to have your baby.”

Robert ran his fingers through his thick hair. “Whoa. Are you sure?”

Medda nodded. “Very sure.”

“Medda, I can’t. . .”

She didn’t let him finish. “Isn’t this great?” Now that she had told him, all of her nervousness was gone and only excitement was left. “We’re going to have a baby! I mean I know it’s a lot of pressure to put on a new marriage, but. . . .”

“Whoa, Lark, marriage? I’m not marrying you.” Medda couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“What? Why not? You have to marry me.” Medda was too shocked to notice the lump forming in her throat. “If you don’t, people will know we’ve been. . . .” a blush rose up on her cheeks. “They can’t know.”

“Medda, they will know. All they have to do is do the math. And I can’t marry you. I’m sorry. I’m married.” Medda nearly fell off the side of the desk as she heard him say the words she never thought would come out of his mouth. He was married. He was married? He was married! In an instant she went from shock to disbelief to anger.

“You’re married?!” She hadn’t realized it, but she was yelling.

“I should have told you, but it doesn’t matter to me. It’s been over for years. We were married when we were young. I was sixteen. We don’t love each other. I couldn’t help falling in love with you.”

Medda stood up from the desk and walked away. “And you couldn’t help getting me pregnant. And you couldn’t help deserting me and our child. And you couldn’t help lying to me. You’re married!” Tears were welling up in her eyes and she didn’t try to stop them from falling.

“I’m not deserting you. I’m still going to be here for you and the baby. I just can’t marry you.”

Medda shook her head. As she walked over to him and slapped him. “No. You deserted us. You deserted us the moment you said you were already married. I don’t want you in my child’s life. I don’t want you in my life.”

Robert rubbed his jaw. “What? Medda, what will you do?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll survive. Don’t worry about us. Don’t ever worry about us.” Medda turned and left the office. She was packed and ready to leave by midnight that night. She had no idea where she would go, but all she knew was she couldn’t go home. Her father, the minister, would have her head on a silver platter if he knew. She had to find some place cheap. She had money saved up from before she left home, but not much. That meant she would have to find a job. She didn’t really have any skills. She didn’t know what she was going to do. She wiped her face as she left the hospital. She was strong and stubborn. She would find something, and manage somehow.

*****

Medda looked at the building in front of her. The sign over the door said women’s and family boarding house. She wondered if she could afford the rent there. She picked her bags up and walked into the building. The main floor of the building looked just like a house. The only sign that it wasn’t was the desk that curved along the far wall of the entrance. She slowly walked up to the counter. She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. She was determined to not let her fear show. The manager, which was a disgusting little man, walked out of his office behind the desk.

“Can I help ya?”

Medda raised her chin. “Yes. I need a room. Is there one available?” The man nodded. “Great. What is the rent a month?”

“We on’y take Union money. No Confederate money!” That didn’t surprise Medda. They were so far north that any mention of the Confederacy wasn’t taken well. “Da rent is a dollar a month.” Medda nodded.

“I’ll take it.”

“Is it on’y you?”

“Yes, well for now.” She touched her stomach. The man looked at her and rolled his eyes. He figured she was probably some strumpet that was pregnant from her job and because she couldn’t work, her boss threw her out.

“An’ where’s yer husband?”

Medda took in a sharp breath. Her husband. The husband she had wanted had lied to her and had deserted her. “He’s dead. He died in the war.” She felt as if it were true. She felt as if Robert was dead to her.

“Yer room is on da third floor. Room thirty.” He handed a key to Medda. “Da washroom is at da end of the hall. Ya’ve gotta share it wid six other families.” Medda nodded and started up the stairs. She looked around and realized that the nice appearance of the place stopped at the top of the first flight of stairs. The rest of the building was run down and disgusting. She didn’t want to raise her child in this, but she didn’t see that she had a choice.

Medda found her room easy enough. She set her things in it and immediately left again. She locked the door and headed out to find a job.

*****

After searching for three weeks, she hadn’t found anything. She had made some money by watching children in the building. She didn’t mind because she loved children, and it was good practice for when she had her child in six months.

Medda was holding the child at her current baby-sitting job. She was rocking the young little girl as she sang her to sleep. “Rock a by baby, in the tree top. . . .” She looked up as the mother entered the apartment.

“Why, Medda, ya have a great voice!” The mother silently exclaimed.

“Thank you.” Medda stood with the sleeping child and laid her down on her thin mattress in the corner.

“I know ya don’t like my profession, but da saloon needs a new singer. Our last one quit a week ago.” The woman was a ‘lady of the evening’ at the saloon down the road. “It don’t pay much, but it does cover the rent.” Medda nodded.

“I might check it out.”

*****

Medda walked through the saloon and smiled at the cute soldiers that were occupying it that evening. She liked her knew job. She got a chance to sing and it wasn’t stressful work. The owner knew of her condition, so she was allowed to not take personal customers, which was good. She wouldn’t have anyway. She wasn’t that kind of girl, but the ones she did work with were great. They were all sweet, and excited about the baby. Most of them had children, and they loved new babies. Medda was still sticking to her story that her husband had been killed in the war. No one had even thought to doubt her. So far, this war had left several women widows. Some of them were so young, and some of the women she was working with were widows because of the war. Turning to that particular profession had been the only way to support themselves and their families.

“Another drink?” She winked at one of the soldiers. He was cute. His dark black hair and cobalt blue eyes were stunning.

“Sure thing, darlin’.” His southern drawl was unmistakable. He was dressed in the gray and butternut of the South too, but his companion was an older mirror image of him. The only difference was the slight gray in the other man’s hair and the uniform. The other one wore the blue and gold of the Union. Medda brought him back another drink.

“Will there be anything else?” He smiled and watched her as she stood in front of him.

“Yes. Sing for us. You must be able ta sing, if ya ain’t here to keep us company.” Medda smiled. He was charming and polite.

“I’ll sing.” Medda walked up on the little stage that was no more than five feet long and three feet deep. She looked over at the piano player and he started playing an upbeat song. Medda started singing, and her silvery voice quickly quieted the saloon.

*****

December, 1865

Medda stood over the sink in the kitchen of one of her neighbor’s apartments. She was peeling potatoes for dinner that night. She was now eight months pregnant and absolutely miserable. She had saved back some money because she wasn’t doing much work, if any, at the saloon because she was so far along in her pregnancy, so money wasn’t coming in too often.

Medda dropped her knife and her friend Susan nearly dropped the pan of water she was carrying over to the iron stove when they heard someone pounding on the door. “Ya would think they’d realize no one’s home when dey don’t get an answer.” Medda laughed and began peeling again. They quickly found out why the man was pounding on the door soon enough.

“I know yer in dere!” Bang, bang, bang. “Medda Olson!” Medda sighed as she wiped her hands on her untied apron. She had gotten too big a month ago to tie it. She opened her friends, door and looked out into the hallway. She had been right. It was the landlord. She rolled her eyes as she watched the man yell at the closed door.

“What do ya want?” He turned and looked at Medda. His already beady eyes narrowed as he saw the tenant he was looking for look at him from two doors down. “Did it ever occur to you that if I don’t answer, then I’m not home?” The man was marching down the hall as she asked this question. He pushed passed her and into the apartment.

“Yer two weeks late with da rent.” Medda shrugged. This was something that she already knew. “If ya don’t pay by noon tamorrow, then you’re out on your ear.” He crossed his arms and waited for what he was expecting, tears and begging, but what he got was something he didn’t expect.

“Out on my ear?” Medda didn’t sound the least bit threatened. The man nodded. “I don’t believe you. Your not that mean.”

“I am so. If your not careful, missy, you’ll be out tonight.” Medda shook her head.

“You may think your mean, but I’m meaner. I’m a very pregnant woman whose been uncomfortable for the last two months. My ankles are swelling because I’m retaining more water than the water tower down the road. I have drastic mood swings that can have me crying one minute and doing a more than thorough cleaning of this entire building the next. I want to eat everything in site, and I’ve got a stomach that is big enough to have it’s own address.” She rubbed her stomach. “I believe my dear man, that I am meaner. And I don’t think you would throw a pregnant woman out on the streets because you wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt.” She looked over at Susan and saw the mutinous look on her face. “And I know you couldn’t handle all of the mutinying tenants that you would have if you threw me out. I’d advise you not to do it.” Medda crossed her arms and looked at the small man. “I do have some, most, of the money. I’ll have it to you by tomorrow.”

“Then you can stay.” He left the apartment. He shut the door behind him as he stood in the hall. “Ya can stay, for now,” he said as he walked down the hall to his next target.

Medda looked at Susan and smiled. She was quite pleased with herself. Susan was proud of her too. “Way ta talk to him.” Medda laughed as she went back to peeling the potatoes for the soup.

*****

Medda woke up to a sharp pain stretching across her stomach. ‘Oh no. Not now. You’re two weeks early, little one.’ She knew instantly that she was in labor. She wasn’t sure if this was her first contraction, or not, but she knew it hurt. She drew in a deep breath and waited for the pain to pass. She slowly let it out as the pain passed. She wasn’t sure how far along she was, but she didn’t want to go through anymore of it alone. She slowly crawled out of bed and stood up. It hurt to stand up, but she had no choice. She made her way to the door and slowly began to walk down the hall.

She reached Susan’s door and knocked. She knew it was in the middle of the night, but she couldn’t help it. The baby was on it’s way. She only had to wait for a minute before the door was opened. Susan looked still asleep till she fully looked at Medda. “Medda?!”

“I hate to wake you, but I’m in labor.” She got out just as the next contraction hit. Susan quickly ushered her into the apartment.

“It’s quite all right. How far apart are the contractions?”

Medda breathed as the most current one passed. “A few minutes. I’m not real sure.” Susan nodded.

“Okay. We’ve got to get you to a bed, and fast.” She helped Medda to her bed. “Has your water broken yet?” Medda shook her head.

“I don’t think so.” She knew Susan knew what she was talking about. She had had three children herself, and the most recent not even a year ago. Medda laid back on the stacked pillows. And tried to relax before the next contraction hit. This went on for eight more hours, and by the time it was nearing hour nine, she wasn’t sure she could take much more. Let alone give birth. Susan had woken a few of the other women on the floor to come and help as time started to get closer to the birth.

Medda breathed deep as another contraction hit. This one wasn’t even a minute after the last one. She slowly let out her breath and suddenly felt as if she needed to push. “Susan! Susan!” Susan came over to the bed and looked at Medda’s red face. “I have to push. It’s coming.” Susan nodded.

She looked at two of the other ladies to take Medda’s hands. “Okay. On three push.” Susan got down so she could help the baby. “One. Two. Three.” Medda pushed, and Susan slowly began to see the baby’s head. “Good. Now take a deep breath and push again.” Medda took several deep breaths and pushed again. The baby’s head crowned. “Great. You just need to push two more times. Ready? Now.” Medda pushed again. “One more time.” Medda pushed and the baby was lying in Susan’s hands. She smiled and looked up at Medda. “You’re the proud mama of a baby girl.”

Medda released the hands she was holding and began to cry. She had a daughter. A few minutes later the baby was cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket. Medda held her arms out as Susan laid the baby in her arms. She held it close and looked at the little piece of perfection in front of her. She was beautiful. She had a head of dark hair and her eyes were the purest blue, but most babies eyes were blue in the beginning. She couldn’t help wondering if she would have her blue eyes or Robert’s green eyes. New tears filled her eyes as she thought of Robert. She wondered if he even cared. She shook her head as she decided that he more than likely didn’t. Medda was gently stroking her daughter’s cheek when she heard Susan ask her a question.

“What are you going to name her?”

Medda wiped away her tears of joy, and the few of pain as she looked at her friend. “I hadn’t really thought about it.” Medda smiled. Her daughter was beautiful. She deserved a beautiful name. She tried to think of several names, but only one kept running through her mind. She wasn’t sure why it was only that name, but it was. “Patricia Ann.” Susan smiled as Medda looked at her daughter. “Hello, Patricia Ann. I’m your mother. Yes I am.” She cooed to her daughter, but that slowly stopped as she fell asleep with her daughter in her arms.

*****

“Shhh....” Medda rocked Patricia as she tried to quiet her. The little girl was only a month old and she wouldn’t stop crying. Susan said she was just colicky, but Medda had a feeling something else was wrong. She knew her daughter and until three days ago, she never cried, well not she had been over the last few days. It didn’t help any that she wasn’t feeling real great either. She had been back to work since Patricia was a week old. Medda had slowly begun to feel bad shortly after that. “Come on, Patty. What’s wrong? Where does it hurt?” Medda felt like crying because she couldn’t help her daughter. She couldn’t afford a doctor because she could barely make the rent.

Patricia cried louder. For a baby that was only a month old, she sure did have a good set of lungs. Medda looked at the child and sighed. She was tired and she was steadily feeling worse and worse. “Are you hungry?” Medda unbuttoned her blouse and tried to nurse the poor baby, but she wasn’t interested in that. “What is wrong? I should have known you wouldn’t be hungry. You ate an hour ago.” She buttoned her blouse back up and began to rock her again. She had just gotten Patricia to quiet down a bit when someone knocked on the door. Of course the almost asleep baby began to scream again.

Medda got up and walked over to the door. She wasn’t the least bit surprised to find the landlord standing in the hall. “I gave ya fair warning, Medda. You’re two weeks late with the rent again. Yer out.” Medda was in complete shock.

“Out?” She couldn’t believe it. She had no place to go, and the harsh winter could kill both her and Patricia. “Ya can’t throw me out, Mr. Cannon. I have no place to go.” She shifted Patricia in her arms. “We’ll both die. She’s sick.”

“Ya should have thought of dat before ya missed rent.” He pushed his way into the apartment. He opened the dresser that was beside the door and began to pull her things out of it. He had an arm full before he threw them into the hall. “Get out.” Medda looked from her clothes to him. She could feel her temper mounting, but she didn’t have the strength to fight. She actually felt like passing out, but she fought it. “An’ don’t even think of stayin’ wid one of the other women. I’ll kick ‘em out for helpin’ ya. Now get out.” Medda grabbed her bag from the closet and walked out into the hall. Susan had just opened the door to her apartment when Medda walked out into the hall.

“Susan, can you hold Patty for me?” Susan glared at the landlord as he walked by. She nodded and took the crying baby. Medda turned back to her things on the hallway floor and began to pile them in the bag. She couldn’t help the tears of fear and sickness that escaped her eyes. She wiped them dry before she turned back around to take Patricia from Susan. “Thank you.” She shifted everything in her arms and hugged her dear friend. “Thank you for everything. I love ya.” Medda kissed her on the cheek.

Susan wiped a tear as it rolled down her cheek. “Anytime, sweetie. Anytime. I love ya too.” She kissed her friend on the forehead and quickly went back inside before she began to cry too much. She had a bad feeling she wouldn’t see either of them again. She wanted to help, but she needed the less than meager apartment, so she couldn’t.

Medda stared at the closed door for a few moments before she pulled Patricia close to her. She pulled her coat tighter around her thin body and prepared to go out into the harsh late winter snow storm.

*****

Medda coughed and found it hard to breathe as she gasped in between coughs. It had been like that for a week now and each passing day it was getting worse. She figured it was only a matter of days before she choked to death. It didn’t help any that Patricia’s crying had gotten worse. Both of them were running high fevers, and Medda kept passing out. It had taken her a week out in the cold to come to the decision she had finally reached. She was going home. She knew they wouldn’t agree with what she had done, but she had shut them out of her life for almost a year now. She couldn’t take care of her baby if she was sick, which she was, or dying, which she was almost sure she was. She approached the ticket window at the train depot.

“I need one ticket to. . .,” Medda could feel herself slipping away again. She took a deep breath and swallowed before she continued. She felt as if she was steady enough to speak at that moment. “. . .a ticket to Little Falls, New York.”

“Dat train is about to leave, honey. It’ll be five dollars.” Medda dug into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out her last five dollars. A moment later she was handed a ticket and she headed toward the train. She was heading home.

*****

"How great thou art. How great thou art." Medda could hear the end of her favorite hymn as she approached the small church. She had arrived in her small home town of Little Falls an hour ago. She was so weak and sick that it took her an hour to get from the train station to the church. She set her bag down and shifted Patricia in her arms. The baby began to cry at being moved. Her fever had finally gotten so high that she had fallen asleep. Medda wasn’t long from her fever taking over her entire body. She could feel the world growing black and slipping down the tunnel it had for over a week now, but she wouldn’t let it. Not yet anyway. She had to get inside the church before she would give into the sickness.

She threw open the doors to the sanctuary and barely made it passed the foyer when the growing darkness of the tunnel became too much for her. She handed her still crying baby to a woman sitting on the end of the last pew. The woman had barely taken the baby before Medda fell to the floor in a pile.

*****

"Please turn to hymn number forty-five, ‘The Old Rugged Cross’." Reverend Olson looked up from the pulpit to see the back doors of the church flung open and a young woman that vaguely resembled his daughter come walking through the doors. She was carrying a bag and a screaming baby. He knew then that it couldn’t be Medda because his daughter wouldn’t have a baby. He watched as the woman handed the child to someone just before she fainted. The Reverend left the pulpit and started for the girl. By the time he had reached her, most of the congregation had surrounded her. He pushed his way through the crowd to find his daughter lying almost lifeless in the aisle.

For that brief moment he couldn’t breathe, or think. As soon as his thoughts were somewhat collected, he called for his wife. Mrs. Olson was there in an instant. She touched Medda’s face and felt it was nearly too hot to touch. She looked at the woman holding the baby. She was too old for that child to be hers, and it quickly dawned on her that the baby belonged to Medda. She was looking at her grandchild. She stood and slowly took the baby from the woman. Despite everything she was feeling---worry, anger, relief---she smiled at her granddaughter. But that only lasted a moment because the child was burning up with fever too.

"We have to get her into a bed now." Mrs. Olson’s senses came back to her in that instant. "They are both seriously ill." One of the younger men in the congregation picked Medda up and carried her out of the church and into a carriage that someone had fetched. Mrs. Olson followed, holding the baby. Reverend Olson dismissed the congregation as he and Kelly followed the already departed carriage in the family carriage.

*****

Medda woke up and fear instantly filled every inch of her body. She didn’t hear Patricia crying. She looked around and couldn’t find her anywhere in the room. Someone had taken her baby. Oh, God, what had happened. As she looked around she slowly began to recognize her surroundings. She was home, in her old room. She slowly sat up and saw her mother sitting across the room, holding a sleeping and quiet Patricia.

"I see you’re finally awake." Her mother whispered as she rocked Patricia. She looked down at her granddaughter and smiled. "She is lovely, Medda. Really she is." Medda smiled. She was glad that her mother thought so.

"What happened?"

"You passed out in the church. You had pneumonia. This little one was sick too. She had a cold that was quickly turning into more. Not to mention she was colicky. Are you feeling any better? You’ve been out for four days."

Medda nodded. "Four days?" Mrs. Olson nodded. She stood and walked over to the bed.

"Medda, what happened in New York? I have a slight idea because you came home with her, but what happened?"

Medda shook her head. "I don’t want to talk about it. It was all so horrible. I just want to stay here." She stretched her arms out, and Mrs. Olson placed the sleeping baby in it’s mother’s arms. Patricia stirred and slowly opened her eyes. "Morning, Patty."

"Patty?"

"Patricia." Mrs. Olson nodded. She took a deep breath and sat down on the side of the bed. "I take it that since you aren’t married to the father, and since you don’t want to talk about it, that the father isn’t around?"

‘Real subtle, Mother,’ Medda thought before she answered. "No. He’s not, and never will be. I prefer it that way." Mrs. Olson nodded.

"Well, since that has been settled. . .," she placed her hand on Medda’s arm, ". . .your father and I have been talking, and we think you need to be married. It’s only proper. No one will ever know that Patricia isn’t a legitimate child." Medda was ardently shaking her head.

"I don’t want to be married, and people will know. They just have to look at her and know she was here before I was married. You don’t get married and have a month old daughter the next day."

"We were going to have you marry a young man that just moved here. He has only been here two days, and no one knows he’s here yet. He’s a good man, and your father and I think he will do very well as a husband. He’s a doctor. He’s from New York, so you can say that you met and got married there. We’ll just have a ceremony for you here because you wanted one for all of your family and friends."

Medda looked at her mother in disbelief. Her mother was using this tone that sounded like she was just suggesting something, but in all actuality, she was telling you what you were going to do. When she was like this, there was no way out of what she was ordering. You would do it, and it would be done by the time line she set. Medda sighed. "I don’t really have a choice, do I?" Mrs. Olson shook her head. "When do I meet him?"

"Tonight at dinner, and the wedding is in a week. After that, you will be Medda Larkson." Medda sighed and looked down at her daughter.

‘At least you’ll have a father,’ she thought as she kissed Patricia on the head. She watched her mother get up and leave the room. She wasn’t happy with the entire situation, but she would put on a good face, for her parent’s sake.

*****

Medda entered the parlor of the house that night to find her parents, sister and her future husband already there. Her father stood and kissed her on the cheek. "Medda, I’d like for you to meet Dr. Damon Larkson. Dr. Larkson, this is my oldest daughter Medda."

Damon took Medda’s hand and gently kissed it. "It’s a pleasure to finally meet the woman I’ve heard so much about these last few days." Medda smiled.

"It’s nice to meet you too." She said through clinched teeth. She could already tell she wasn’t going to like him much, if at all.

Dinner went smoothly. Medda was the ideal hostess. She smiled and laughed at all the right moments, but she never said anything to Damon, unless he spoke to her first. He was kind, and Medda was sure at one point she might have been interested, but not now. She knew it was all because her parents were forcing him on her.

After dinner, Medda and Damon went into the parlor while her parents put Kelly to bed. Damon was sitting next to her on the sofa. He slowly took her hand. Medda looked at him and smiled, but her back was as stiff as a piece of wood. "Medda, I know you aren’t too fond of me, and I don’t blame you. I do like you though. You are kind and beautiful. I know we don’t know each other all that well, having only just met, but I know we can make each other happy." Medda couldn’t believe he was saying all of this, but she figured he had to actually propose at some point in time. "I know the circumstances you are in, and I vow to love your daughter as if she were my own." Medda nodded. "I’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to do. That includes performing your wifely duties. I just want to make you happy."

Medda smiled. He was being sincere, and she could tell that. "Thank you." She took a deep breath. He had just been so sweet and sincere, but she knew that for her to be honest to him, she couldn’t be sweet. "Damon, you are a good man, and I thank you for wanting to help me in this way. I want you to know that the only reasons I’m agreeing to marry you are because I can’t get around not marrying, and Patricia needs a father. You have been so kind and honest with me, and I love you for that. I will always love you for the kindness you are giving me and my daughter. And I hope to love you as a trusted friend, one day, but it will never go beyond that."

Damon listened to every word she had said. "At least you are honest."

Medda pulled her hand away and covered her mouth in shock. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean ta hurt you. It’s just that. . . .”

“That you are a strong woman, and you don’t like to be forced into things. I know. I figured that out by watching you. It’s all right. I’d rather you be honest with me and hurt me that way, than lie and hurt my trust.” Medda smiled a little at his statement. “I don’t doubt that if circumstances had been different, we would be in an entirely different situation all together.” Medda agreed. “I also know you would do anything for your daughter, and marrying me would be for the best, Medda.”

Medda stood up and walked across the room. “I see that now too.” She turned to look at Damon. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” Damon smiled because she had agreed willingly, and he knew that she wouldn’t be happy unless she went willingly.

*****

“Do you take Damon Larkson to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.” Medda’s voice was small as she looked up at her then husband.

“Then I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Damon leaned down and gave Medda a brotherly peck on the lips. Reverend Olson then turned the couple to face the small gathering of friends and family. “May I be the first to present Mr. and Mrs. Damon Larkson.” The church applauded as the couple began to leave the church to start they’re new life together. And it was a life that Medda wasn’t looking forward to.

*****

At first their marriage was just as Medda had said it would be. She acted as if she was forever indebted to Damon for taking her and Patricia in, and nothing more. She even wondered what he really thought of her, so one day she asked.

“Damon?”

“Hmmm?” He put his morning paper down.

“I was just wondering what you must think of me. I mean you had to take me and my illegitimate child in. You must think I was wrapped up in something terrible. I wasn’t. I really did love the father. I just wanted you to know, so you didn’t think I was a. . . .” Medda couldn’t finish the sentence and found herself blushing, one of the rare moments in her life.

Damon took Medda’s hand and pulled her a little closer to him. “I don’t think bad of you. I know you loved the father, or you would have. . . .” He cleared his throat. “Medda, you were in the middle of the war, and passions run high. I’m sure if I was in the father’s place I would have done. . . .” He looked away and blushed slightly. “Well, I wouldn’t have left you, and I won’t. I don’t think bad of you.” Medda smiled warmly. Damon felt this overwhelming urge to kiss her, so he let go of her hand and stood up. “I’ve got to get into the office. I’ll see you this evening.” Medda looked a little confused, but nodded as he left the house. It hurt him more than anything that he loved his wife, but she didn’t love him back.

Over the years, Medda found it was hard to stick to her original plan of not loving her husband as more than anything but a friend and provider. They quickly grew to be best friends and she slowly fell in love with him. By the time they were married for five years, it was as if the arranged, cold marriage had never existed. They never had any other children. It wasn’t for the lack of trying, but Damon quickly found he couldn’t give his wife anymore. Which was fine with both of them because they both loved Patricia more than life it’s self. They would do anything for that little girl. She was their whole world. And much to Medda’s surprise, everything was just as she had always dreamed to have with Robert, except for two differences. Her marriage and family was an honest one, and it was a real one. She had come to terms soon after her marriage that what she had always wanted with Robert could never be realized. She wasn’t sorry for it because she had everything she ever wanted and more. She had Damon and Patricia.

*****

TEN YEARS LATER

*****

Medda entered the house one afternoon when she returned from her daily errand running. Her life was perfect and it seemed as if nothing could ruin that. She had a husband she loved more than life it’s self and a daughter that she adored with her entire being. Damon’s private practice had taken off from the beginning and he was now Little Falls’ head doctor. His specialty was children, which Medda believed was because they couldn’t have the large family they wanted. Unfortunately, her perfect world would soon be crumbling around her feet.

She entered the parlor to find Damon lying on the sofa. “Home a little early, aren’t you dear?”

Damon opened his eyes and looked at his adoring wife. “I’m not feeling too well.”

“I’m not surprised with all of the patients you’ve been seeing lately. Most of them have had the flu. You’ve probably gotten it too.” Medda walked over to the couch and placed her hand on his forehead. For a doctor, Damon could be a real baby when it came to being sick. “You don’t have a fever.”

“It’s not the flu.” He took a deep breath, but he couldn’t seem to bring in enough air. As he slowly released it, he coughed, but he didn’t cover his mouth fast enough and blood ran down his chin. “Damon, that’s blood. Oh my God! What’s wrong?”

Damon drew in another shallow breath. “I’ve been like this for sometime. I just didn’t want to worry you. I’ve been to see a doctor in Albany. He says it’s too far along to do anything about it.” He took Medda’s hand after he wiped his mouth with a handkerchief. “Medda, I’ve got cancer.” Medda pulled away. She wasn’t sure if she was hearing him correctly. Cancer. People died from cancer. Medda’s emotions crossed her face quickly, and Damon saw everyone of them---fear, anger, hurt, disbelief and finally fear again.

“Are they sure?”

Damon nodded. “Very.”

“How bad is. . . .” Medda couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Bad.”

“Damon, how much. . . .” She swallowed hard because she didn’t want the hear the answer to the question she couldn’t finish.

“Not much. They said a month, maybe two, but I feel worse and worse everyday. I think it’s going to be soon. Within the month.” Medda stood up and walked across the room. She had her hand over her mouth as she tried to stop the tears that were filling her eyes from spilling over. She didn’t have much luck. But when she turned back to face Damon, it was anger and hurt that caused her next question.

“You’ve know about this for sometime, and you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to worry.”

“I’m your wife, damn it! I’m suppose to know these kinds of things. I’m suppose to worry!” She took a breath and tried to calm down. “How long have you known?”

“About a year now.”

“A year now?! You’ve known for a year now, and you only let me know a month before you. . . .” She couldn’t finish that thought as tears started to choke her again. “I only have a month to adjust to the idea of not having you with me. . .us. What am I suppose to tell Patty?”

“We’ll tell her exactly what I’ve told you. That I’m sick.”

“And that you’ve known for a year now that you’d be leaving us?”

“No.” Damon tried to sit up, but couldn’t breathe, so he quickly laid back down. “Medda, darling, she will be able to take it. She’s a strong girl. She’s just like her mother.” “And she’s only ten. She won’t be able to fully understand. I’m not able to fully understand. I’m only twenty-eight, and I’m about to be a widow.” Medda walked back over and knelt beside the sofa. Her anger had dwindled and now it was only fear and hurt that was nearly choking her. “What am I to do without you?”

“You are to go on, and try to be happy. I’ll always be with you.” Damon stoked her cheek. “Now, let’s stop talking about this right now. I have almost a month left, and I want to live it as fully as I can.” Medda smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Damon saw that, and understood why. He just pulled her closer and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

*****

“I’m home!” Patty yelled as she closed the front door. “Mama, Daddy!”

Medda wiped her tears and looked at Damon. Her look asked if they should tell her then, or wait. Damon nodded for them to tell her right then. Medda nodded and called out to Patricia. “We’re in here, sweet pea.” Patty came bouncing into the parlor and saw Damon on the sofa and Medda kneeling in front of him.

“What are ya doing home so early, Daddy?”

“I’m not feeling too well.” He reached his arm out and Patricia took his hand. “Patty, darling, your mom and I need to speak to you about something.”

“I didn’t do it. Johnny was the one that threw the apple into the window!” Medda and Damon looked at each other. They had no idea what she were talking about.

“That isn’t important right now,” Medda gently said. She took Patricia’s other hand. Patricia started to get really worried because her parents very rarely talked to her about anything that needed both of them to be in the room. She was a good girl, so she was rarely in trouble. They never had problems or anything else that needed them to both talk to her.

“What is it?”

“Honey, this is going to be hard, but you need to listen to what we have to say. We’re always going to be here for you.” Patricia’s eyes grew wide.

“What is it, Daddy? Mama?”

“I’m sick, Patty.”

“I know, Daddy. You’ve already said you weren’t feeling very well.”

Medda shook her head and squeezed her daughter’s hand a little tighter. “No, dear, what your daddy is meaning is that he is sick. Really sick.” “Patty, this is hard for me to say, but I’m. . .I’m sick,” he stumbled. “I’ve got cancer. It’s a bad disease. It runs your body down. Sometime it works really slowly and sometimes it works really fast. Mine has worked fast.”

“What do you mean?” Her voice cracked at the end of the question, and tears started to quickly fill her eyes.

“I mean that I’m really sick, and I won’t be around for very much longer.” Patricia shook her head and stood up from the sofa. She looked at her parents and shook her head again before she ran out of the room. She was bawling by the time she reached the stairs.

“I knew she wouldn’t understand,” Medda said as she stared after her daughter.

“I know, but it’s best she knows the truth.” Damon coughed again, and yet again, blood came up with the cough. “Go check on her. You can explain things better.” Medda nodded and left the parlor.

*****

A MONTH LATER

*****

Medda entered the bedroom and slowly walked over to Damon. He had been getting steadily worse everyday, and she knew that the day was getting closer. She didn’t want it to come, but she knew it would. She wouldn’t show that she cried everyday, several times a day. She was terrified of being alone. Sure ten years ago, she was certain she could have lived on her own, but now she wasn’t so sure.

Damon turned his head and looked at Medda as she sat in the chair beside the bed. “How was shopping?” He drew a ragged and shallow breath.

Medda shrugged. “The market wasn’t busy.” She reached over to the side table and took the pouch that had his pain medication in it. She started to pour it into the glass of water that was kept beside the pouch, but Damon shook his head. “Are you sure, dear?”

He nodded as he took another ragged breath. “It doesn’t help, and I can’t keep the water down. There’s no point.” Medda nodded and set the pouch back down on the table. Damon reached his hand out and gently took hers. He was a little surprised to find her shaking. They both knew what was coming. “Medda, I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment you walked into the parlor the night I met you. I know our marriage wasn’t under normal terms, but I think it has been one of the best ever. Thank you for giving me the ten best years of my life. Because of you, I finally had the family I always wanted, and probably would never have had. Thank you.”

Medda didn’t even realize that she was crying. “Don’t talk like that, Damon. You’ve got plenty of time left. You’re just having a bad day.”

He shook his head. “No, darling, I’m not.”

A single tear fell on Damon’s hand. “I love you, Damon. Please, fight this. Fight. Stay a little longer. I’m not ready to lose you.”

“You’ve had time. You’ll do fine. You’re a strong woman that, I know, can raise Patty to be a strong woman like her mother.” He managed to pull his hand from hers and wipe a tear from her cheek. Medda gave a small laugh because they both knew she very rarely cried. “Now, do me a favor,” he took a ragged breath, “sing to me. I want to hear you sing. Not like you do in church, but how I know you can sing. The way I’ve heard you sing around the house. The way that makes you happy.”

“What do you want me to sing?” Medda’s voice cracked despite how hard she tried to not let it.

“Whatever,” ragged breath, “you think is appropriate.” He took another ragged breath. And squeezed her hand. Medda swallowed hard as she began to hum. It didn’t take long for the melody of a song she had written, but hadn’t sung in over ten years to come back to her. True she had written it for Robert, but now it seemed more appropriate to give it to Damon.

“If I had only known it was our last walk in the rain, I’d keep you out for hours in the storm. I would hold your hand like I life line to my heart. Underneath the thunder we’d be warm. If I had only known it was our last walk in the rain.

“If I had only known I’d never hear your voice again, I’d memorize each thing you ever said. And on those lonely nights, I could think of them once more, and keep your words alive inside my head. If I had only known I’d never hear your voice again.

“If I had only known it was my last night by your side, I’d have prayed for a miracle to stop the dawn. And when you smiled at me, I would look into your eyes and made sure you know my love. For you it goes on and on. If I had only know it was my last night by your side.

“You were the treasure in my hand. You were the one who always stood beside me. So unaware I foolishly believed that you would always be there, but then there came a day and I turned my head, and you slipped away. If I had only known, oh, the love I would have shown.” (This song is performed by Reba McEntire)

Medda finished singing and looked down at Damon’s face. His eyes were closed and he looked peaceful for the first time in a month. She brought his hand up to her mouth and kissed it lightly. “If I had only known. . . .” She let the tears flow freely now. “I love you. I always will.” She held his hand and cried for a while before she left to go tell the few servants they had. She also knew it would be hard telling Patty, but she would be there for her. Patty was a strong girl. She would heal quickly. There was no doubting that. Medda just hoped and prayed that she could be as strong, for her daughter’s sake.

*****

Medda was sitting in the parlor when Patty came home from school that day. “Mama? Daddy?”

“I’m in here, sweetheart.” Despite how hard she tired, Medda’s voice still sounded weak and far away. Patty came bounding into the parlor with a huge smile on her face. “Did you have a good day, dear?”

“I did. I aced my arithmetic test.” Medda smiled. “Won’t Daddy be proud?”

Medda swallowed hard. “Yeah, baby, he would be. I’m sure he is.” She took a deep breath before she started to say what she knew couldn’t be put off. Lord, this was going to be hard. “Patty, come sit by me. I have something to tell you.” Patty instantly felt her chest contract. The last time those words had been said she found out her father was ill. Patty slowly sat next to her mother. Medda couldn’t’ help smiling as she looked into the face of a girl that so reminded her of herself when she was ten. “Patty, you know your daddy is really sick?” Patty nodded. “Well today, God decided that Daddy had fulfilled his purpose here on earth, and took him home. He’s no longer sick, and he is watching over us.” Patty found it steadily harder to breath as the lump in her throat choked her. She covered her mouth and let her tears loose. She knew there was no way she could hold them in. She collapsed into Medda’s side, and Medda instinctively wrapped her arms around her. Both mother and daughter cried over the loss of the father and husband that they loved so dearly.

*****

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to morn the passing of Dr. Damon Larkson.” Reverend Olson began the eulogy. Medda put her arm around Patty as each tried with all of their might not to cry during the service.

It was a lovely funeral. The entire town was there, and a few of Damon’s family and friends from New York City. Medda hadn’t met many of his friends over the years, but she loved his family as if they were truly her own. Patty held onto her Grandma Larkson for several minutes after the funeral.

Afterwards there was an intimate gathering of family and friends at Medda’s parent’s house. More than anything, Medda wanted to take Patty home and the two of them sit together in the empty house. It was time for them to start healing, and that couldn’t happen at a party because of her husband’s death. In spite of how much she wanted to scream at everyone and tell them to get out, Medda was the perfect widow, dressed in black and softly and quietly accepting the condolences of those present. No one was happier than mother and daughter when everyone left and they could retreat to their home to be together. Patty of course slept with Medda for the first month or so, but she slowly got back into her normal routine, and so did Medda. Time was healing the wounds, slowly, but they were healing.

*****

THREE MONTHS LATER

*****

Patty walked in and threw her school books down on the table in the parlor. Medda and Mrs. Olson jumped at the loud noise. “Why do we still have to wear black?!” Patty lifted up some of the cloth to her skirt.

“Because it is customary for a lady to wear black for a year after a death. You’re in morning, my dear.” Mrs. Olson gently explained. Patty just glared at her grandmother. It wasn’t that she was mad at her, but she didn’t exactly get along with her grandmother either.

“That’s ridiculous! Daddy’s been dead for three months now. We can’t keep living in the past. We need to get on with our lives.”

“Patricia?!” That was another thing that bothered Patty. Her grandmother never called her Patty. She always called her Patricia, and it always had a bit of an haughty air to it.

Patty looked at her grandmother and then her mother. “Mama?!”

Medda sighed as she put down her tea cup. “Mother, Patty’s right. We can’t go on wearing black and acting as if Damon just left us. It’s been three months. Sure it’s still hard, but we do need to move on with our lives. Damon would have wanted that.”

“And it doesn’t help having all the kids in school looking at me like I deserve their pity. I don’t.” Patty was only ten, but at times she was wiser than her few years.

“I know and I agree,” Medda said. She fell silent for several minutes before she announced her next decision. “We’re moving to New York City.”

“What?!” Patty and Mrs. Olson both shrieked.

“You heard me. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I was really happy in New York, and all this place does is remind me of what I no longer have. Damon and I talked about getting a house there several times. He would want us to be happy, and I think that we would be happy in New York.”

“Medda, this is absurd. What will you do to earn money?”

“Damon left everything to me. I’m in no need of money. I have plenty. Plus if I sell the house, there is at least ten thousand more. This isn’t a small house by any means.”

“What about Patricia?”

“She would go with me if she wishes. I want her to go with me, but I won’t make her do anything she wouldn’t want to do.”

“I want to go, Mama.” Medda smiled at her daughter, who had by now plopped down on the floor of the parlor.

“They have good schools in New York. I would buy an apartment in an upscale neighborhood. I might even take up singing again. Who knows? There is so many possibilities.” Medda laughed as Patty climbed up onto her lap.

“I don’t think this is wise, Medda. Look what happened the last time you went to New York.” She gestured to Patty. “And everything that has happened in your young life is because of that.” Yet again she gestured to Patty.

“And I’m grateful for it,” Medda bit out.

“What happened in New York, Mama? Why does Grandma keep pointing at me?”

“Because I met and fell in love with your father in New York. Grandma just can’t accept that I’m glad I did because I wouldn’t have had you, or the wonderful marriage I had with your daddy.” She wasn’t lying, but she wasn’t being totally honest---she was improving the truth a little. Patty didn’t need to know otherwise. Patty only smiled and snuggled in closer to Medda.

“When do we leave for New York?”

“As soon as I sell the house.” Medda fell silent for a minute as she looked at her fuming mother. “We won’t have a place to stay in the city, so I guess I should make a few trips to find us a place, so we aren’t homeless when we go.” She then looked at Patty. “Would you mind staying with Grandma while I go into the city for a few days?”

“Can’t I go too? I want to help.” She honestly didn’t care where they lived. She just didn’t want to stay with her grandparents. They were controlling and manipulative. She didn’t see how Aunt Kelly stayed there. True she was twenty years old, and most twenty year old women were married with at least one child.

“I don’t see why not. We’ll go in a week. I have some business to take care of before we go.” Mrs. Olson opened her mouth. “Don’t. Don’t say a word, Mother. Patty and I are moving. You can’t bully us into staying. Sorry.” Medda set Patty off of her lap. “Now go upstairs and put on a bright dress and do your homework.”

“Yes ma’am.” Patty picked up her books and skipped out of the parlor. That just left Medda staring at her mother. It wasn’t long before Mrs. Olson stood up and left without saying a word. She was livid. Not because Medda was leaving, but because she hadn’t been able to control her daughter into staying.

*****

Patty was overwhelmed and in awe of the city before her. New York was grand and so exciting. She had never dreamed of having an adventure like this. Back in Little Falls she had only dreamed of maybe finding treasure along the river, but in this grand city, she was sure to find adventure beyond her wildest dreams.

“Patty, come on. We have to meet the realtor in an hour and he’s on the other side of Manhattan.” Patty scurried along the sidewalk and took her mother’s hand. “What do you think so far?”

“It’s great. It’s spellbinding.” Medda nodded. That was exactly how she felt when she first saw New York. She stopped suddenly when she saw the tall building of a hospital in front of her. It hadn’t changed in ten years. The only difference now was that there wasn’t soldiers lying in the streets waiting to be operated on. Medda got a chill and visibly shivered.

“What’s wrong, Mama?”

“That’s where I met your father. It just feels odd to see it again. That’s all.”

“How did you meet him? Was he sick?”

Medda smiled. “No. I was a nurse and he was one of the doctors there. It didn’t take long for us to fall in love.” ‘But it took him long enough to admit he was married,’ she thought.

“How romantic!” Medda laughed.

“It was quite the opposite. I assure you. Now let’s get to the realtor’s.”

*****

“What’s that building? Irving Hall? It looks new, but abandoned.” Medda and Patty had been in New York for three days, and hadn’t found anything. They had checked all of the Upper side of Manhattan, and both had agreed that the apartments were just too fancy for their tastes. Besides, living in such an upscale neighborhood meant that she would only be allowed to sing in church. If she wanted to do that, then she would have stayed in Little Falls. She wanted to sing in theaters and halls.

“It was built about three years ago as a theater hall, but before the architect could finish the inside, he ran out of money, so it’s just stayed empty.” Medda and Patty looked at each other. Medda’s face lit up.

“Can we have a look around?”

“Why not? I have the key here somewhere. Why would you want to see the inside anyway?”

“I’m just curious.” The realtor nodded. They walked over to the hall and waited while the realtor opened the side door. What they saw when they opened it was a dirty and dim lit theater, but to Medda is was like looking at gold. There was a stage that was big enough for small productions. There were no seats on the floor and there was a balcony that wrapped around three walls of the main part of the building. Medda’s head started turning as she thought of things she could do with it. “Is there more?”

“Oh yes.” They were led back behind the stage where there was a large backstage area with several rooms off of it. Just behind the stage was a thin flight of stairs. “Each of these doors lead to a dressing room or storage area. These stairs lead to a loft or apartment above the theater.”

“Can we see that please?” The realtor led them up the stairs, and the loft took Medda’s breath away. It was a spacious main room with four rooms off of it. To the right was the kitchen and dining area. Off of that were the three bed room and the one washroom. It was dirty and completely empty, but Medda quickly saw the potential. It could easily be made into a lovely home. Medda watched as Patty wandered around the room. She opened the doors and looked in each room. “What do ya think?”

“I like it. I really do. This is such an adventure!” Medda smiled.

“How much is it, Mr. Goodner?”

“It’s beyond your price, I’m sure.”

Medda hated that. He was assuming she only had enough money for a small apartment, and not for an entire hall. “I assure you it’s not. How much?”

“Seven thousand.” Medda didn’t blink. She wanted to scream in shock. That was outrageous! It was in the lower part of Manhattan, and they wanted that much for it?! Unbelievable.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Goodner, but that is too much.”

“I knew it,” he said under his breath.

Medda crossed her arms. “Oh, I have the money, but seven is way too much for an abandoned, unfinished hall. You would be lucky to get five for it.” She wasn’t sure if that was true, but that was all she was going to pay, at the most. “It isn’t finished. It’s quickly becoming in disrepair. I could fix it up for under the two thousand extra you want for it. I want this building, but I refuse to pay that price for it.”

“Then I’m sorry, Mrs. Larkson. Then there is no deal.” Medda shrugged. She did care, but she didn’t want him to know that.

“Do you have any other offers coming in on this place?” He shook his head. “Then I’m afraid that my offer is the best you are getting. Either you take it, or you keep this eye sore, and weight in your pocket book. I can take my business else where.” Boy, she was a good business woman.

Mr. Goodner didn’t say anything for several minutes. “If you’ll come with me back to the office, we can have the papers drawn up today.” Medda smiled.

“And I can have the money wired to you by Monday.” They shook hands and left Irving Hall.

*****

“You are now looking at the proud new owner of Irving Hall on Broome Street!” Medda raised her glass in a toast. “The sale is final on Monday, and we hope to move in by the end of the month.” Everybody raised their glasses at first, but the Reverend and Mrs. Olson’s glasses slowly came down.

“What?! You were going there to by an apartment. Not some hall. Where will you live?”

“At the hall,” Patty chimed in as she looked from her mother to her grandfather and slowly made her way around the table. She stopped on her Aunt Kelly and her latest beau.

“Right, Patty. There is a nice apartment above the hall that has five rooms. It’s small, but nice. It’ll be perfect for the two of us, and whatever visitors we have.” Medda looked at her younger sister. “You know you are always welcome, Kelly.”

“Thanks.” After that, dinner was silent as Medda’s parent’s sulked because the were not able to control their oldest daughter. They did have some peace because they were still able to control Kelly, and with a heavy hand. The man she was courting now was the one Mrs. Olson had suggested would be perfect for her. Kelly, on the other hand, could barely stand the man. He was twice her age and just as domineering as her parents. She had a spirit much like Medda’s, but she was a little more timid.

After dinner, Medda left with a sleeping Patty in her arms.

*****

“Put it over there.” Medda pointed to the wall beside the bedrooms. The hired hack placed the trunk beside the door. It had taken three hired men to help carry all of Medda and Patty’s clothes from the train station to the hall.

Patty came running up the stairs. “Mama, I lit the main hall. Do ya want to see?” Medda smiled.

“Yes.” She followed her daughter down the steps and out onto the stage. The hall was large and inviting, but Medda could easily see that she had her work cut out for her. The hall was a mess, and if it was going to be what she envisioned, then she needed to start working on it right away. She saw tables instead of rows of seats. She saw a bar in the back that served drinks and food, if wanted. All of the furniture and draperies would be bright colored. Not drab like most theaters. She wanted this to be a welcoming place to bring families and young lovers. She didn’t want anything stuffy. She didn’t want what was normal. She wanted it to be spectacular.

“Isn’t it grand, Mama?”

“Yes, and it’s home.” Medda picked her daughter up and twirled her around on the stage.

*****

Kelly sat on the sofa in the parlor as Matthew, the man she didn’t really like, talked about their future. She was only half listening, but her attention suddenly became undivided when he opened a box that had a beautiful and quite large emerald ring in it. “Since I’ve been thinking all of this time about you, I was wondering if you would marry me? We would make the perfect couple. I love you, Kelly.”

Kelly looked at the ring in shock. Her gut was wrenching as she saw the ring and thought of how the rest of her life would be with him as a husband, and then she thought of how her life would be with her parents if she said no. “Yes,” it came out as a choked whisper. Maybe in time she would learn to love him. She hoped and prayed that that would be the case. She had a sinking feeling it wouldn’t be, but she could only hope.

“Let’s go tell your parents.” He stood up and took her hand. For the first time, he kissed her. He actually kissed her. Kelly returned the kiss, but there was nothing behind it. There were none of the feelings that there should be. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. Maybe he didn’t. She prayed he didn’t.

“Great. That’s just what I wanted to do,” she mumbled as he led her out of the parlor.

*****

SIX MONTHS LATER

*****

“I think we should have five tables in each row, but have them scattered. So they aren’t all in line with each other. Does that make sense?” Medda asked as she leaned against the bar. She was almost finished with the main floor of the hall. All she needed was to place the table and chairs and it would be complete. Then all she would have to do was get the balcony seats put in, and Irving Hall could open.

“I see what ya mean,” John Sullivan said as he surveyed the main hall from behind the bar. He had been the worker who had done most of the work on Irving Hall for Medda, and they had quickly become best friends. There was no romantic interest, but they loved each other like family. “I think ya should have white table clothes on ‘em. It’ll look fancier.” “I agree. We should also. . . .” Medda was interrupted as Patty came running into the hall pulling someone behind her.

“Mama! Mama! Look who I found outside!” Medda looked up to see Patty was pulling Kelly behind her. That was a surprise, but the biggest surprise was that she was wearing a wedding dress covered in soot.

“Kelly, what are you doing here? And why are ya wearing a wedding dress? Why are you all covered in soot?”

“My wedding. Remember, Medda?”

“I knew nothing about a wedding. What wedding?”

“The one I’m suppose to be at in four hours.” Medda was shaking her head. “The one you couldn’t come to because you were too busy.”

“Kelly, I never got an invitation.”

“What? I sent one.”

“And I never got it. I haven’t heard from you since I left.”

“Mother! She is still mad you came here. I bet she’s the reason why. When I get my hands. . . .” Kelly’s tirade was interrupted when she heard John say something to Patty.

“So, squirt, who’s da pretty lady?”

“My Aunt Kelly,” Patty said with pride.

“Oh, God, where is my head? I’m sorry.” Medda quickly apologized. “Kelly, this is my assistant, John Sullivan. John, this is my baby sister, Kelly Olson.” Kelly smiled as she looked at the man standing behind the bar. Why hadn’t she noticed him before? He was handsome. He had dark brown hair that was thick and a bit long for the style of the day. He had the softest hazel eyes that seemed to dance when he smiled. He was tall and broad in build. While Kelly looked at him, she didn’t even notice that Medda had been talking the entire time. “Kel?”

“Huh? I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I asked you how it looks?” Medda gestured to the hall. She turned her face slightly away and smiled because she knew exactly why Kelly hadn’t been paying attention. She had been staring at John, and why wouldn’t she be? He was a handsome man and only five years older than Kelly. It made perfect sense.

“It looks great.” Kelly said as she looked over the hall. It did look nice, but she hadn’t seen it before it had been worked on.

“John did most of the work.” Kelly looked at John and smiled. She blushed when he winked at her. “Now, Kelly, what are you doing here in your wedding dress? On your wedding day? And just exactly who are you suppose to be marryin’?” Medda slipped her arm around Kelly’s waist as she started to lead her away from the bar. She turned back to John. “Why don’t ya take the afternoon off. This may take a while.” John smiled and nodded as he started to pack up his tools. He watched as Medda and Kelly slipped through the door behind the stage. Patty jumped down off of the bar and ran back outside to play. She knew that her mother and aunt would be talking about things that she wouldn’t be allowed to hear, so she just cut out being told to leave the room and went ahead and left.

*****

“You remember Matthew Newman?” Medda nodded. “Well,” Kelly pulled her wedding dress off, “he was the man I’m suppose to be marrying.”

“So what happened?”

“I was surrounded by all of our family and his while they were getting me ready for the wedding, and I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t handle being around anyone connected to him. I didn’t want to marry him in the first place, but I agreed because Mother and Father wanted it. I knew I could never be happy, and how could I have children with a man I could never be happy with? I know they did the same thing to you, but you were lucky. You loved Damon more than anything.” Medda nodded as she got a slightly sad look in her eyes. “I was surrounded by all of these people and I thought what would you do? You would get out of the situation, so I did. I asked them all to leave because I said I had to use the washroom. They all left, and as soon as they were gone, I bolted. I climbed out of the window at the church and ran as fast as I could to the train station. I didn’t buy a ticket, and I hid out in the coal car.”

“That explains the soot.” Kelly laughed as she stepped into the hot bath that Medda had just drawn for her. “Well, Kel, you have most certainly out done me on this one. You know that they will be looking for you, and that this will be the first place they look?” Kelly nodded as she laid back in the tub. Medda poured water over her head and began to wash her hair. Her auburn hair was nearly black from all of the soot. “You are such a mess!” Kelly laughed.

“I don’t care if they come after me. I want them to. I want them to see that I am not just some rag doll they can throw around.” Medda smiled. Kelly was always a little more vocal in her thoughts than Medda, but she wasn’t near as strong.

“I’m glad.” She rinsed Kelly’s hair and started washing it again. “I saw you looking at John.” Medda laughed as she saw the back of Kelly’s neck turn red with the blush that was quickly covering her entire body. “He is handsome, isn’t he?”

“Very. And you two aren’t?” “Heaven’s sake, no! I’ve only been a widow nine months. I’m not looking for love. He is a dear friend, though. I think you two would be cute together. Despite his size, he is a gentle man.” Kelly shrugged.

“Maybe. I’m not looking for love either. Remember I just left a man standing at the alter?” Medda and Kelly laughed. It was good to have her sister back again.

*****

“Hey, Kel, could ya help me over here for a minute?” Kelly put down the table cloth she was placing on the last table in the hall. She walked out the main entrance to the hall and up the stairs to the balcony.

“What do you need, Jack?”

“I need ya ta. . .Jack?” John looked up from his place under the row of seats he was placing. “Ya know my name’s John.”

Kelly shrugged. “I know. I just like Jack better. You look more like a Jack---to me.” Kelly slightly blushed.

“Whatever. Jack it is, I guess.” He didn’t go back under the seats right away. He stared at Kelly for a long moment.

“Ya needed my help?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, could ya hand me that hammer ova there. I can’t reach it, and it takes a lot fer me to get out from under these seats.”

“Sure.” She bent down and grabbed the hammer. She handed it to him and as he took it, he pulled her down to where she was sitting on the floor in front of him. Kelly looked at his large hand as it covered hers. “Um...Jack?”

“Why did you run away for your wedding?” His question was softly spoken, but his voice was deep.

“Excuse me? I don’t think it’s any of your business.”

John shrugged. “It ain’t. I was jus’ wondering. You don’t have ta tell me if ya don’t want to.”

Kelly didn’t know why, but she felt compelled to tell him. “I didn’t love him. He actually repulsed me.” John nodded. “Happy?”

“Almost.” He still had a hold of Kelly’s hand and pulled her closer. He met her half way in an innocent kiss. Kelly pulled away and quickly stood up. “What were you. . . .How could you. . . .Why would you. . . .” She couldn’t finish a single question because her head was spinning so fast.

“I was thinkin’ yer really pretty, so why not? It was easy. Ya want me to show ya again?” Kelly shook her head. “And because I’ve wanted ta do that since ya walked in in yer dirty weddin’ dress all covered in soot.” Kelly was angry, but she wasn’t sure if it was because of the kiss, or because he knew every question she had half voiced.

“You still had no right.” She turned and stormed off.

“Maybe, but I enjoyed it, an’ so did you,” John said under his breath as he went back to working on the seats.

*****

It only took two days before all hell broke lose at Irving Hall. Medda walked down stairs one morning to hear someone banging on the front doors. She opened them to find her parents and Matthew standing on the sidewalk. “I expected you here sooner,” was all she said as she let them in. She led them into the hall.

“This is the main room. There’s a balcony upstairs. The bar is over there. That’s about it.” Medda said as she walked toward the stage. No one was saying anything as they looked at the hall that was decorated in red and gold. “We don’t have any food or anything since we haven’t opened yet, so I can’t offer you anything to eat or drink. John should be here soon, and he usually brings breakfast from the restaurant in the hotel where he’s staying for the time being.”

“And who is John?” Mrs. Olson finally spoke. “You’re new beau? It wouldn’t surprise me since you only mourned the death of your husband three months before you. . . .”

“No, Mother, John is a trusted friend and the man that is helping me build this place. I am not seeing anyone, and have no plans to. I am still getting use to not having Damon here to share things with. I just choose to do it in a way that doesn’t include wearing black.” Medda walked off behind the stage. “I’ll go get Kelly and Patty.” ‘Although, neither want to see you,’ she thought.

Twenty minutes later Kelly and Patty both came downstairs with Medda. Kelly stopped on the stage and refused to go a step further. Patty on the other hand did put up a good front and went and hugged her grandparents. Medda walked over and sat on the edge of the stage.

“Kelly, darling. . . .” Matthew started to walk closer to the stage and Kelly backed up.

“Don’t come any closer. I ran on our wedding day. Don’t think I wouldn’t do it again.” Kelly held up her hand.

“Kelly, this is absurd. Come home. You’ve had your little adventure, now come home and do what you know is right.” Mrs. Olson suggested, which was yet again, an order.

“I am home. I love it here. I’m free to make my own decisions, and I’m free to marry whom ever I choose. I could marry the next man that walks through the door.” They all stared at the door she pointed at, but no one entered. She looked at Medda and shrugged her shoulders. “In fact, I might just do that.” At that moment, as if he had been listening, John walked through the door. “Jack!”

He turned from shutting the door to look at Kelly. “Kelly.” He nodded as he headed toward the back of the hall. “Medda, I’m gonna finish that row I’m workin’ on. Den I’ll build ya some more chairs for down ‘ere.” Medda nodded.

“Wait!” He turned and looked at Kelly as she came running down the steps to the stage. “I would like you to meet my parents and my ex-fiancé.” The last part grabbed his attention. “Mother, Father, Matthew, this is my---special---friend, John Sullivan. John, these are my parents the Reverend Alvin Olson and Betty Olson, and this is my ex-fiancé, Matthew.” John stuck out his hand and shook hands with each one of them.

He watched as Kelly clung to his arm. This was totally different from yesterday, and it confused the hell out of him. He let it pass, but decided to confront her on it later. “It was nice ta meet ya. I’ve got work ta do. I’ll se ya later, Kel.” He winked at Kelly and she blushed slightly.

“Well, now that you know where I am, you know where to send my mail. Have a nice trip back.” She was walking toward the door John had entered through.

“It’s not that easy, Kelly. We’re here to bring you home.” Reverend Olson moved over to her and took her by the arm. Kelly instantly pulled out of his flimsy grip and walked away.

“And I told you I am home. You aren’t going to run my life anymore. I choose to stay here. I choose to marry whoever I want. I choose to not have my life run by people that don’t even know what I want. I don’t want the quaint little life of Little Falls. I want this,” she spread her arms out. “I want this hall. I want this city. I want this life.” She climbed back up on the stage. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going home, and you can’t make me.”

“Yes, we can and will. We are your parents, and we have the power to make do what we say.” Kelly shrugged indifferently.

“And I have the power to run away again, so which will it be?” There was no answer, and Kelly took it as the answer she wanted. “I’m glad you think that way. You know your way out.” She turned and walked off stage. Her footsteps could be heard going up the stairs.

“I’m sorry, but that’s what she wants. That’s what I want. That’s why I moved here,” Medda added.

“Then consider yourselves disowned.” Medda shrugged as she watched them leave the hall through the same doors they entered it. Medda shook her head as she walked off the stage and upstairs to see if Kelly was all right.

*****

Kelly didn’t leave her room till late that afternoon. She was upset, but mostly embarrassed about how she hung all over John. She had behaved like a tart. What had she been thinking? She slowly walked into the lobby of the hall to find John working on the chairs for the main room. She cleared her throat.

“Jack?” He put down his hammer and turned to look at her. “I want to apologize about earlier.”

“What was that all about?” He really was a kind man.

“They were wanting to take me back home and marry Matthew. I didn’t and don’t want to, so I told them I wanted to marry whoever I wanted. I said I would marry whoever walked through the door next. It just happened to be you. That’s why I was like that. I’m sorry.” John nodded and walked a little closer.

“And it had nothing to do wid yesterday?” Kelly shook her head. “What if I made it have somethin’ ta do with yesterday?”

“I don’t get what you mean?” Kelly stepped away a little bit. Sure, he was a kind man, but he was also two times her size, if not bigger.

“I mean I liked dat kiss. I know you did too ‘cause I felt it. Admit it.” Kelly shrugged. “I don’t believe you.” The entire time he was talking he was walking closer to her, and she was backing away. She stopped abruptly as she walked into the wall that lined the stairs. She started to edge her way toward the stairs, but John placed his arm directly in her path. He leaned closer and gently took her mouth with his. He didn’t deepen the kiss till she relaxed against him. He then moved his hands to cup her face as she moved her hands to his chest. After a minute he broke the kiss, rather reluctantly. “See? I told ya.” She blushed and nodded.

After that first, well, second kiss, it didn’t take long for John and Kelly to fall madly in love with each other. After a month, they were talking marriage, but decided to wait till after Irving Hall opened. It soon did, and Medda, “The Swedish Meadow Lark”, was a hit. The hall was packed every night.

A month after Irving Hall opened, John and Kelly were married. She had just turned twenty-one, and was the ideal bride. Especially, since she didn’t run from her own wedding. John and Kelly got a little apartment only a block from Irving Hall. John still worked for Medda as her handy man. He fixed anything and everything that went wrong in the place. Kelly was the head waitress, and Medda was the star of the show. Patty loved New York and was quickly growing up before their eyes. They could all see the lovely woman she was going to grow up to be.

*****

SEVEN YEARS LATER

*****

1882

Kelly leaned up against the bar. She was so terribly sick, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She wasn’t physically ill, but she felt as if she could be. She had gone to the washroom more times than she could count. John was watching her from his seat at a near by table. He didn’t like the way his wife was looking. She was growing paler by the moment. She took two steps from the bar and crumpled to the floor. John was by her side in an instant. He squeezed her hand till she started to come too.

“Are ya all right, sweetheart?”

“I’m fine. I’m just a little weak is all.” She started to sit up, but quickly slumped back against the bar. A crowd of people had started to form. All of the music had stopped and Medda was getting off the stage and pushing her away through the crowd. “Jack, just get me upstairs.” He nodded and gently lifted her into his arms. Medda followed them up the stairs, but she stopped on the stage long enough to apologize that the hall was closing for the evening, but it would be open tomorrow.

She got up stairs just in time to see John laying Kelly on the sofa. “John, go fetch the doctor.” He nodded and left, but stopped at the door long enough to give his wife another wary glance. Medda knelt before her sister. “How ya feeling?”

“Weak, sick, tired. Take your pick.” Medda nodded at the slight joke.

“Kelly, I need you to be honest. When was your last cycle?”

Kelly thought for several moments. “About two months ago, I guess. Why?”

Medda tried not to laugh at the absurdity of the question. “Honey, you’re not sick. You’re pregnant!” Kelly looked at her sister as if she was from another planet.

“How? I mean I know how, but how?! We’ve been married seven years. I haven’t gotten pregnant yet. We just figured we couldn’t have any, but we are?”

Medda shrugged. “It looks like it. The doctor will tell us for sure. Now you just lie back and relax.” Kelly did and shut her eyes as visions of what their, her and John’s, baby would look like. She wanted it, if it were a boy, to look just like John, but have her spirit. If it were a girl, she wanted it to look like her, but have John’s eyes. She loved his eyes, and to have his mannerisms, but be strong. *****

John paced the hall outside of the loft. Patty leaned against the wall and watched her uncle as he worried over the doctor looking at her aunt. “Uncle John, I’m sure everythin’ is fine. If ya worry too much, you’ll make yourself sick. You don’t need both of you sick.” John turned to look at his lovely niece.

“You’ll understand one day, squirt, when your married and. . . .” He didn’t get to finish as the doctor came out of the loft. “How is she, Doc?”

“You might want to ask your wife.” He nodded to Patty and let himself out. John wasted no time running into the loft. He saw Medda handing Kelly a glass of water. He walked over to the sofa where she was sitting and joined her.

“Kel, ya okay?” Kelly nodded.

“The doctor said I need a little more rest than I’ve been getting, and I need to eat better, and--- well do ya think the extra room in the apartment would look good in blue?” John looked at his wife in puzzlement.

“I guess, but why. . .oh!” It only took a moment for the news to sink in. “Really? When?”

“In seven months.” John couldn’t believe his ears, and he hugged her to him. As he pulled away he kissed her on the forehead and gently laid his hand on her stomach. He was in awe that his son or daughter was inside there, growing.

That night as they laid in bed, John placed his head on Kelly’s stomach, and she had to laugh. “What are you doing, Jack?”

“I’m huggin’ ‘im good night.” He kissed her stomach and then kissed her passionately before he blew out the candle beside the bed. He kissed her one more time in the dark, and when he broke away he said, “I’m gonna have a son!” Kelly just laughed as he started to kiss her again.

*****

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

*****

“John. John.” Kelly insistently shook her husband’s shoulder. He was in a dead sleep. “JOHN!” John quickly sat up and looked around the dark room for a moment before he turned to see her. It was hard to see her clearly because what little moonlight was drifting in through the window was casting shadows on everything.

“What’s da matter?” His voice was husky from sleep. “It’s time! I’m having the baby!” Kelly breathed deep as another sharp pain, like the one that had woken her, hit.

“Are ya sure?”

“John, honey, I don’t mean ta be mean, but would I be in so much pain if I weren’t?” He shook his head at her snap. “Go get Medda and Doctor Brown. Now!” John jumped out of bed and grabbed his clothes as he ran from the bed room. He was getting dressed as he stumbled out of the small apartment.

*****

“What’s goin’ on, Mama?” Patty asked as she rubbed her eyes.

“I don’t know,” Medda said sleepily. It was two in the morning and someone had woke them by pounding on the door to the loft. She opened it as she tied her wrap. Her eyes grew wide as she saw a half dressed John standing in the hall. “John?! What’s wrong?” It only took a moment for it to sink in why he would be there in the middle of the night. She had a very pregnant sister. “How far along is she?”

He shrugged. “Don’t know. She’s jus’ told me ta get ya an’ da doc.”

Medda nodded. “We’ll be right there. You go get the doctor.” John nodded. Medda closed the door as he tore out of Irving Hall.

“Mama?”

“Get dressed, Patty. You’re about to have a new cousin.” Patty smiled as she turned into her room.

*****

John and the doctor entered the bed room to find Medda helping Kelly breathe down from her latest contraction.

“How is she?” The doctor asked.

“It hurts like hell! How do you think I feel?” Kelly barked. John tried to hide his grin as he knelt beside the bed and took her hand. He didn’t say anything. He just held her hand. After five minutes, the next contraction hit. Kelly squeezed John’s hand, and he winced against the pain in his hand. If that was only a portion of what she was feeling, then he was happy it was her giving birth and not him. Sure he was a big man---well over six feet tall and two hundred pounds---but the job ahead of her could kill him.

“Five minutes apart. They’re close.” Medda nodded at the doctor. “You’ve gotta get out of here, John.” Medda stood him up. She started to lead him to the door. As soon as John realized where Medda was taking him he dug his heels in. “What are . . . .”

“I ain’t leavin’.”

“You have to.” John pulled his hand out of Medda’s delicate one.

“No.” He looked like a little child, and after knowing him for seven years, she knew he wouldn’t listen. When he made his mind up, there was no talking him out of it---whatever it is. But no matter how stubborn he could be, Medda knew just how to get to him. . .Patty.

“Patty?” Could you take care of your uncle for me?” Patty nodded as she took her uncle’s large hand and slowly led him out of the room. He jumped when he heard the door close behind him.

*****

“Have you thought of any names?” Patty was trying to keep him calm. All he did was shake his head. “Do you want a . . . .” Kelly yelled out with the next contraction. John bolted for the door. Patty just barely grabbed his arm, but he was too strong. The next thing she knew she was sprawling out on the floor.

“Ow!” John stopped for the bedroom.

“Oh, squirt, I’m sorry. I’m jus’ so nervous. I mean I’m about ta be a fadda.”

Patty smiled. She looked at her Uncle John as a father to her. “Let’s go for a walk.” He nodded and followed her out of the tenement.

*****

“All right, Mrs. Sullivan, take a deep breath. On the next contraction I need you to push.” Kelly nodded. It was only a minute later when the next contraction hit. “Push.” She did as she was instructed.

*****

Patty sat nervously in the main room of the apartment. The walk had been useless. They had barely made it a block before John came right back home. They had been sitting in that room for hours now, and it was already mid way through the morning. She watched as John paced the breadth of the room for the hundredth time. He would only stop every now and then to look down the hall.

“What’s goin’ on? Why’s it takin’ so long?”

Patty had to smile. For a big man, her uncle was a real softy when it came to the people he loved, especially Kelly. “Babies take a long time to come into this world, Uncle John.” She saw that that didn’t pacify him any. “If there was a problem, any problem, they would let us know.” He nodded and began to pace again. “You’re goin’ to wear a hole in the floor, and then you’ll have your neighbors mad at ya.” John actually cracked a smile for that one. Patty smiled back and for that instant he was actually calm.

Being that calm only lasted a moment when he heard the door open. He looked down the hall and saw Medda walk out. She looked sweaty and tired. “Well? Medda?”

She barely managed a smile. “You’re a father.” John hugged her and then Patty before he darted down the hall.

He stopped at the door and looked at Kelly as she held a tiny bundle in her arms. She looked up from the baby to find John standing in the door way. He looked as if he wasn’t really sure of what to do. “Do you want to see your son?” John nodded and slowly entered the room. He sat gingerly on the side of the bed. Kelly moved the blanket to show the baby’s head. “Isn’t he precious? He looks just like you.” John looked at the baby in amazement. It was so tiny, but it’s features were so perfect. It held it’s little fist up to it’s face as it peacefully slept.

“He is perfect. Like you.” Kelly smiled.

“I named him.” John looked at her in shock. They had wanted to name him together, but he knew that whatever she had picked out would be perfect. “Francis John Sullivan. After my grandfather and you.” John kissed her on the forehead and lightly touched his new son’s face.

“I like it, but I’ll have to call ‘im Frank. I don’t think Francis fits ‘im. He looks too strong for dat name.” She nodded and closed her eyes. John waited till she was asleep before he left the room. He had a son!

*****

A MONTH LATER

*****

Patty stopped at the park near Irving Hall. It was a gorgeous day, and she was taking Francis for a walk, to give John and Kelly some time alone. The little baby was sound asleep, and she was glad. She wasn’t exactly sure of how to handle him if he cried. She didn’t have that much experience with babies, yet. She was gently rocking the carriage while she sat on a park bench and ate an apple. She was so lost in her thoughts that she jumped when she felt a hand come down on her shoulder. She turned to see a extremely handsome man standing in front of her. He had dark blond hair and sparkling green eyes. His body was broad and muscular. She looked at his face for a moment and it seemed vaguely familiar, but she wasn’t sure if she really knew this person.

“Patty? Patty Larkson?”

“Yes?” The man smiled and it was breath taking. He had perfect teeth and his smile reached his eyes, which made the gold sparkles in them stand out even more.

“I’m Calvin Redman. Do you remember me? We use to go to school together, but I left for college two years ago.”

Patty’s face lit up as she did remember him, but the Calvin Redman she remembered was a thin, wiry boy with a squeaky voice, not the deep, sensual voice he now had. “Calvin! Oh my goodness! How are you?” She stood up and hugged him. They had been good friends, but she had been so mad at him when he left because she knew he would forget all about her.

“I’m good. I just back in town today. I stopped by to see you, and your mother said you’d be here. I had to prove I hadn’t forgotten about you. I’ve actually thought a lot about you.” He blushed at that last part. “So, how have you been?”

“I’ve been good.” At that moment Francis began to cry. That was the first time that Calvin noticed the baby carriage. “Oh, don’t cry.” Patty picked the unhappy baby carefully and put him on her shoulder. She started to pat his back and he slowly quieted down. She smiled as she he quieted down and fell back asleep.

“I see you’ve been good. Who’s your husband?” Patty smiled at his question and realized that she had the perfect time to shock him.

“I’m not married.” His expression was exactly what she was aiming for.

“Oh!”

She had to laugh. “He’s not even my baby. This is my little cousin, Frank. He’s my Aunt Kelly and Uncle John’s kid.” The shocked expression quickly changed to one of relief. “So, how long are you in town?”

“Indefinitely. I’m studying law at Columbia University.” He looked down at his feet. “I don’t mean to be forward, but would you like to have dinner tonight? I know this nice restaurant in the hotel I’m staying at.”

Patty smiled. “I’d love to.” Calvin smiled and walked with Patty as she went back to her Aunt and Uncle’s apartment to drop Francis off. She had a date, so she had to hurry home and get ready. She had a date! She couldn’t believe it.

*****

“I had a great time, Calvin.” Patty said as they reached the back door to Irving Hall.

“So did I.” He took her hand as she stepped up on the single step that led to the door. “Can I tell you something?” She nodded. “I’ve, uh, been smitten with you from the day I saw you.”

“I was ten!” They both laughed.

“I know. You were so cute in your red curls and green eyes.” He joined her on the step. “Now you’re beautiful in those soft red curls and green eyes.” He leaned his head down and captured her mouth with his in a sweet tender kiss. Patty couldn’t help sinking against him as he wrapped his arms around her. She knew that this sort of deep kiss was only meant for married couples, or so she thought, but she couldn’t resist kissing him back. When they broke the kiss a minute later, she was weak in the knees and breathless.

“I, uh, I better be gettin’ in.” He nodded and gave her one last quick kiss. “G’night, Cal.”

“Good night, Patty.” He didn’t move till she shut the door.

Patty leaned up against the door and sighed. Her first date. Her first kiss and it was all so magical. She wanted to relive it all again, but she was torn from her thoughts when she heard Medda say something from the dark backstage area.

“Have fun, dear?”

“The best. Cal hasn’t changed. He has changed, but he is still the sweet, endearing boy I was friends with not so long ago.”

Medda smiled as she followed her daughter up the stairs to the loft. They entered and neither lit a candle. They both were off to bed. “And how was the kiss?” This was asked just as Patty had started to close the door to her room.

“How’d you know?”

“I looked the same way after I kissed your father for the first time.”

“It was wonderful, Mama. Wonderful.” She kissed her mother good night and shut the door to her room again.

Medda couldn’t help shedding a tear. “I knew this day would come. I just wish it wasn’t so soon,” she said to herself as she shut her own bedroom door.

*****

Over the next year Patty and Calvin saw a lot of each other. At first it was only when he had free time from law school, but as the months quickly passed, they saw each other as much as possible. She would meet him up at Columbia for lunch and he would watch her as she waited tables at Irving Hall in the evenings. It was evident to everyone, including themselves, that they were rapidly falling in love.

Calvin was sitting at a table on the main floor of the hall one night as he watched Patty close up. It had been a long night. There had been two fights, one girl got sick and Medda was ready to pull her hair out. Patty wiped down the table beside Calvin and laughed as he would try to grab her hand as she passed him each time.

“Cal, I’m trying to finish,” she would playfully scold.

“I know.” He would laugh as she would dodge him and flick water at him. He finally stood up and grabbed her hand. She stopped wiping the table as he brought his mouth down on hers in a sweet and passionate kiss. After a minute he broke the kiss. “Patty, you know I love you, right?”

“How could you not love me?” She teased. “Yes I know. I love you too.” She tried to turn back to the table, but he tightened his grip on her.

“And you know I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to, or you weren’t ready for?” She nodded. She could feel her heart beating rapidly as she looked into his sweet eyes. “I understand if you say you’re not ready, or if you don’t want to. I’ll be hurt, but I’ll understand.”

Patty shook her head. “What are you talking about, Cal? You’re scaring me.”

Calvin then dropped down on one knee and pulled a box out of his jacket pocket. “I love you, Patricia Ann, and I can’t imagine my life without you. Will you be my wife?” Patty moved her hand to cover her mouth. “Will you marry me? I want you beside me forever.”

All she could do was nod, and she only did that once. Calvin smiled broadly as he slipped the small emerald and pearly ring on the forth finger of her left hand. He stood up and kissed her quickly before he lifted her up and spun her around. Patty’s head was spinning so fast she wasn’t sure what to think. All she knew was that she really wanted this. She wanted to be with Calvin for the rest of her life, and she was going to have her wish.

*****

Patty couldn’t believe it. She was engaged. It as if her dreams were coming true. She entered the loft rather quietly, so she wouldn’t wake her mother if she was already in bed. She jumped when she heard Medda call from the washroom. She slowly entered to find Medda lying in the large porcelain tub with her eyes closed.

"You and Cal talked for a while tonight. Is everything all right?"

Patty nodded. "Never been better." She looked at the emerald and pearl engagement ring on her hand. She couldn’t help sighing. Medda never opened her eyes, but she did raise an eyebrow at the soft sigh she heard from her daughter. "And what did ya talk about?"

Patty moved to sit on the stool beside the tub. "The future." That answer puzzled Medda and she opened her eyes. Patty took that opportunity to hold her left hand out for her mother to see. Medda stared at the ring in shock. She knew her daughter was in love, and she knew she was growing up fast, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to let her baby go.

"Oh, Patty, it’s lovely." She got serious for a moment. "How soon?"

Patty laughed. As close of friends as she and her mother were, the mother in Medda would creep out every now and then. "Not for some time." The relief was evident on Medda’s face. "Cal still has ta finish law school. I’m only eighteen. I’m not totally ready to have a family and a house to run. I want it, but not right now. Besides we need a house for me to have one to run, so it won’t be till he can afford an apartment or something. Three, four years. No sooner though."

Medda listened to her daughter carefully. She had really thought a lot about this. "Well, you seem to have that planned out." Patty nodded. "I’m so happy for you, dear. I’ve always loved Cal, so having him in the family will be nice." Medda kissed her daughter as she stood up from the stool. She was alone a moment later, and she silently said a little prayer.

‘Thank you, God, for her. I’m glad you are making her life worlds easier than mine has been. She deserves better than what I’ve had. She deserves a loving husband who will be a loving father, and she deserves that father to stay with her. I’m just pleased you are giving her what I never had. Thank you.’

*****

FOUR YEARS LATER

*****

"Francis Sullivan, will you hold still?!" Kelly was almost to the breaking point when it came to getting her son into his suit for the wedding. He was five years old and Patty’s ring bearer. He had been perfect for the rehearsal, but the moment she had brought out that suit for him to wear, he went ballistic.

"But, Mama, dey’re playin’ tag out dere." He pointed his chubby little finger to the children in the alley behind the church playing tag. They were the usual children he played with and being inside was not suiting him well. He tugged at the tie as soon as Kelly tied it. "I don’t wanna wear dis Ma. It hoits."

"Well you have to." She gave him a look that all mother’s possess. The look that said you have one more time to argue with me, and then I’ll make you wish you never did. The look that scared every child, even though they knew most of them were empty threats. "You want to look like a little gentleman for Patty’s wedding, don’t you?" Francis shrugged. "On’y if it makes Pat Pat happy." Kelly nodded and kissed her son on the top of the head. She watched him as he fidgeted and smiled when she thought of how much he looked like his father. He had the same hazel eyes that John did. They were bright, full of life, and happy. He only resembled her in the ears and his stubbornness. But she knew he would be a kind man because he had John’s disposition. She couldn’t wait to see the fantastic young man he would turn out to be. She wondered if he would be a leader of some sort. Her wishing and thinking ended when Patty came into the room to gather her little ring bearer.

*****

‘What is takin’ so long? Why do ya have ta go throw all dis stuff ta live wid a girl? I’m never doin’ dis. Ever!’ Francis fidgeted as he stood in front of the church with all of the other people in Patty’s wedding. He could hear the children out in the streets playing, and he wanted to be out there more than anything. ‘Jus’ hurry up. I wanna go play.’ He looked around and saw the girl he had had to walk down the isle with smiling at him. He didn’t like her, and he didn’t like her smiling at him. She was just some dumb, prissy girl. He stuck her tongue out at her, and the girl glared.

“You may now show your love by the exchanging of rings.” Francis was busy picking at the lace on the pillow he was carrying.

“Frank? Frank?” He slowly looked up at Patty. “We need the rings, honey.” He handed her the pillow and instantly went back into his own little world.

‘I’m gonna be a cowboy,’ he thought. ‘Den I won’t hafta get married, or like girls.’ He looked up at the couple as they kissed. ‘Yuck! Don’t ya know that’s gross, Cal? Don’t kiss ‘er.’ Then he followed them out of the church. ‘This was the most boring day of my life. I ain’t never gettin’ married.’ He pulled at the tie and sighed. ‘And I never wanna wear one of dese again.’

He looked up as the priest came out of the church behind them. “Let me present Mr. and Mrs. Calvin Redman.” Everyone clapped and cheered as the newly wedded couple climbed into the carriage that was to take them to Irving Hall. “The reception will be held at Irving Hall on Broome Street.” The small gathering of friends and family all went in different directions, and Francis went his own. He took off down the alley beside the church. Kelly turned just in time to see him throw his tie behind him as he joined in a game his friends were playing.

“We’re goin’ ta have our hands full with him,” John said as he put his arm around his wife.

“That we are, but he’s a good boy.” He nodded as he started down the alley to fetch Francis.

*****

EIGHT YEARS LATER

*****

Patty slumped into a chair at the table she had just finished wiping off. It was well past midnight, and Irving Hall had just closed. They hadn’t had a late night like that in a while. The hall had been so packed that John had actually had to turn people away. She sighed and closed her eyes. She had been on her feet for twelve hours straight. This was the first time she had gotten a chance to sit down. She looked around at the finally clean hall and smiled slightly. She turned to the bar when a faint sound caught her ear. She looked to find her thirteen year old cousin sound asleep at the bar. His head resting on one of his school books. She had to definitely smile at that. She loved Francis as more than her cousin. She thought of him as her son. And the older he got, the more true it was. She and Calvin had been married for eight years and they didn’t have any children. It wasn’t from lack of trying, but they had conceded that they were never going to have any. So, Patty had sort of adopted Francis as her own. She slowly stood and walked over to him.

“Frank? Frank?” She gently shook his shoulder, but the only response she got a his hand pushing her away. She looked over at her Aunt Kelly and sighed. Kelly just shrugged her shoulders and went on sweeping the floor. “Frank?” Once again she got her hand pushed away, but not verbal response. “Francis Sullivan! If you don’t wake up right now, you’re goin’ to hit the floor hard and fast!” Patty had moved her hands to the underside of the barstool. She wasn’t really going to tip him, but she wanted him to think that she was.

Francis slowly lifted his head and looked at her with one blood shot hazel eye. “Come on, Pat. Lemme sleep,” he grumbled before he laid his head back down and started to doze off again. Patty had succeeded in waking him up, but she hadn’t succeeded in getting him up off of the bar.

“Get up, Frank. You’re drooling on the bar and your literature book.” Once again she only got one eye to look at her as he wiped his mouth and found it totally dry.

“I ain’t droolin’, an’ I don’t care if I was. I don’t like literature.” He laid his head back down. Patty proceeded to poke him some more. This time his head was fully up and both eyes were open. He sighed heavily as he looked at her. “You’re not gonna let me sleep are ya?” She shook her head. “Fine. I’m up. I’m up.” He climbed off of the barstool and looked at her. He ran his hand through his thick brown hair, which he wore longer than most boys his age, but that seemed just like Francis. He never did what everyone else thought he should. “What does Cal think of ya workin’ past midnight?”

Patty shrugged. “He doesn’t mind, as long as he knows you’re here to protect me.” Francis rolled his eyes. Patty knew he never meant what he said when he smarted off like that. He was a smart kid, and he had street smarts. It was necessary if you lived on the Lower East Side like he did. The one thing she had to give him credit for was that he never smarted off to his parents or Medda. He knew the punishment wouldn’t be worth it. She was the only one he talked to like that, and it was all in fun. His smart mouth and quick wit set her at ease. She knew that if it came right down to it, even at thirteen, he would be able to take care of himself.

Francis walked over to his mother and took the broom out of her hand. “Come on, Ma. It’s late. Let’s go home.” Kelly nodded and thanked Patty for getting him up. Francis had turned out just as Kelly had hoped. He looked just like John, and he had his gentle disposition, but unfortunately, he had also gotten her stubbornness. So, that usually made for some interesting times around the Sullivan apartment.

*****

“Francis, you’ve got ta get up. We need ta get to the market.” Francis groaned and rolled over in his bed.

“Five more minutes, Ma.” He pulled the blankets up over his head.

“I gave you five more minutes five minutes ago. Now get up.” There was no response for a while, but after a minute of waiting the blankets were thrown back and he slowly climbed out of bed. “Now get dressed.” Francis nodded and stumbled over to the dresser. How he hated mornings. It didn’t matter how much he slept, he never wanted to get up. Which didn’t mean anything, since he never got a chance to sleep past eight in the morning.

Kelly was waiting by the door with an apple and a roll. Francis grabbed them as he walked down the stairs in front of his mother. “What do we need ta get taday?”

“A lot of things. It’s going to be a long morning.” She was right about them needing a lot of things, but it would probably only take a couple of hours. She just liked teasing her son. Francis groaned as he opened the door to the tenement.

*****

Francis was looking at the cloth one of the peddlers was selling. It was a red cloth with white, small dots on it. He couldn’t help thinking that it would make a great skirt for his mother. He had some money saved up from doing odd jobs at Irving Hall. He could buy enough and see if Patty had the time to sew it. He had a month till his mother’s birthday, but he wanted to have it done early.

“How much for two yards a dis?”

“A dollar.” Francis nodded. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the money he had. He was sure he had at least a dollar. All thought of money was lost when he heard a piercing scream. His stomach sunk, and it suddenly felt as if it had a ton of bricks in it. He knew who that scream belonged to without turning around. He slowly turned to see his mother halfway lying under the front wheel of a buggy. He dropped his money on the booth and ran for her.

*****

Kelly was crossing the street to get some fish for dinner that night when she heard the horse bray. She turned just in time to see the hooves come down on her and pull her under the cart. It didn’t take long for everything to go black and she felt safe and warm as she lost consciousness. *****

Jack reached his mother and was totally lost as to what to do. He could tell she was severely hurt by the cuts on her head and neck. The right side of her body was still under the wheel of the cart. He looked up at the driver. He was the one that had done this to her. If he had been watching where he was going, she wouldn’t be lying in the street hurt, and possibly dying. The thought of that made the panic level raise ten fold.

“She’s still under da wheel. Ya’ve got to move it. I can’t get to her.” He sounded so far away, and his voice sounded alien to him. The driver did as Francis said and rolled the cart forward just enough that Francis could get to his mother. He touched her cheek and pulled away when he felt the warm sticky blood on her cheek. “Ma? Ma?” He was lightly taping her face. ‘Come on, Ma. Ya’ve gotta wake up. Come on.’ Panic was rising in him and fast. He was only thirteen for God’s sake! He wasn’t suppose to have to watch as his mother die in the streets. After trying to wake her for several minutes she looked over at one of the peddlers. He was a big man.

“Can ya help me get ‘er into the cart? I need ta get her home.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, kid.” The man protested.

“I don’t care. I need to get ‘er home.” Francis said as he glared at the man. The peddler nodded. He lifted Kelly up gingerly and placed her in the back of the cart. Francis climbed in the back and rested his mother’s head in his lap. He looked at the driver cooly. “Take me ta Broome Street.” The man nodded and started the cart. Francis then looked at his mother. She was growing paler by the minute. “Hang in there, Ma. We’re gonna get ya the help ya need. You’re gonna make it.” He was using his shirt to wipe the blood away from one of the visible cuts on her face.

*****

Francis helped the cart driver lay his mother down on her bed. He then looked at him and glared. “Since you’re da one that hit her, you need ta go tell my fadda.”

“She walked out in front a me!” The driver got defensive.

“I don’t care! All I know is dat you can’t control your cart, so she’s hurt now. So, you get to tell my fadda. I can’t leave ‘er here.” Francis glared at the man till he understood that there was no arguing. After a moment of being stared down, the man nodded. “He’s at Irving Hall. Ask fer John Sullivan.” The man nodded and started to leave the apartment. “Hurry!” He began to run down the stairs. As he hit the streets he couldn’t help thinking at how that boy will make a great leader when he gets older.

*****

Francis was holding his mother’s hand when John and a doctor arrived an hour later. His mother still hadn’t woke up, and she was looking worse by the minute. John glared at Francis, and Francis returned the look with a puzzled one.

“What happened?” The doctor asked.

“We were in the market, an’ a cart ran over ‘er,” Francis still sounded like he was in a tunnel.

The doctor nodded. “I need you to both leave the room.” Francis slowly stood and followed his father out of the room. The door closed and John started in on Francis.

“Why weren’t ya watching her? She wouldn’t be hurt if you were watching her!”

“I was buyin’ her birthday present!” Francis yelled right back at her father. “It wasn’t my fault. If dat driver had been watchin’ where he was goin’, she’d been all right. Don’t blame dis on me!” John ran his fingers through his hair and tried not to totally lose his temper.

Francis saw that the fight was far from over, but he didn’t want to wait for the rest of it, so he left the apartment and decided to pace the hallway. An hour later, the doctor entered the hallway.

“How is she doc?”

“She’s not to good, son. I don’t give her much of a chance. She’s awake and in a great deal of pain. She has severe internal injuries. I don’t think she’ll make it more than a few days, if that.” Francis swallowed hard and nodded as the doctor walked away.

He slowly entered the bedroom and saw his father holding his mother’s hand. “How is she?”

“I. . .I’m. . .fine.” Kelly said against the pain. “It just hurts,” she drew in a deep breath, “a little.” Francis nodded. He wasn’t about to tell her he knew the truth because she might not know it.

“Why don’t ya go tell you’re Aunt Medda that she’s all right.” John ordered.

“I wanna stay here. Aunt Medda can wait.”

John glared at Francis. “No she can’t. Ya need to go tell her.”

“But Ma is in so much pain. She needs me ta be here for her.”

“I’m here, Francis. She’ll be okay. The doc gave me somethin’ for the pain. She won’t be in any pain when ya get back. Now go!” Francis glared at his father as he started to leave the room.

“Francis?” Kelly said his name as loud as she could, but it came out only a whisper. He turned around and looked at his mother. She waved her hand for him to come to her. He did and knelt beside the bed. She took his hand and tried to pull him closer. Francis leaned in and kissed his mother on the forehead. “I love you. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I love ya too, Ma. How can I forget? You won’t let me.” She smiled.

“Now go to your aunt.” Francis nodded. As he stood up, he noticed the four bags of pain medication lying on the table beside the bed. “Go on.” Francis left the room.

She waited till she heard the door to the apartment close before she said anything else. “Jack, I can’t take it. I’m not strong enough. It hurts too much. I can feel myself slowly dying. Make it stop. Make the pain stop.” Kelly cried as she pleaded with her husband. John nodded and poured a pouch of the powder into a glass.

“Drink this. It’ll help.” She drank the entire glass.

She laid back on the pillow. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want to suffer. I want to go peacefully. Help me sleep through it.” She looked at the other three packets of powder. John knew what she meant and he only hesitated a moment before he did as she asked. He stood up and filled the glass with water. When he returned to the bedroom, he poured the other three packs of powder into the glass.

“Drink this.” Kelly did as he said.

She wiped her mouth when she had finished. “Jack, I love you. Take good care of Frank for me. You’ll need each other now more than ever.” John nodded and leaned down and kissed her.

“I love you too.” He held her hand for the next few minutes till the drugs took affect and she fell asleep for the last time.

*****

Francis entered the apartment to find it deathly quiet. He looked around for his father, but he was no where to be found. He quietly entered the bedroom to find his mother sleeping soundly. He quietly backed out of the room and went about his daily chores.

John entered the apartment not too long after Francis had gotten home. He found him doing the dishes from the night before. Francis turned around and looked at his father in disgust. “Where ‘ave ya been? She’s not too well, an’ ya leave ‘er? Where’s your head?!”

“Don’t raise your voice to me! She’s fine. She is fine.” John wasn’t sure if he should tell his son that he had killed his mother. Francis looked at his father and noticed his disheveled look. He walked over to him and he could smell the whiskey a foot away. “God! Ya left her ta go drinkin’!” Francis stormed out of the main room and into the bedroom. He walked over to the bed and shook his mother’s arm. “Ma? Ma?” He didn’t get a response. “Wake up, Mama. Wake up!” He was beginning to panic when she didn’t move at all after several minutes of trying to wake her. He slowly bent down and checked for a pulse. Nothing. There was nothing. Not even a faint flicker. Nothing. He looked around the room as it was sinking in. His mother was gone. She had died in her sleep. He looked over at that table and found all four packs of pain powder empty. He looked at the door and saw his father standing in it.

“Frank.”

“Don’t! Don’t! I see what ya did. It don’t take a genius ta get it. You made sure she died in ‘er sleep. Ya gave ‘er too much of dat stuff, an’ now she’s gone. How could you? I needed ‘er! We needed ‘er.” He pushed passed him and only stopped long enough to punch his father in the stomach as John grabbed his arm. John was just drunk enough to hit Francis back. Francis hit the wall, but he didn’t stop. He ran out of the apartment and down the road to Irving Hall.

*****

Medda opened the door to the loft when she heard some one banging on it as if their life depended on it. She opened it to find Francis leaning against the door frame. He looked up and she saw the tears as they started to run down his face and mix with the still fresh blood at the corner of his mouth.

“Francis?! What on earth happened?!” “He---he killed ‘er. When I came over ‘ere, he killed her. She’s gone!” He practically yelled the last part. “Get the police!”

“What are you talking about?”

“My father killed my mother when I came over here ta tell ya that she was hurt pretty bad. He gave ‘er too much pain medication. She’s dead!” He slid down the door frame and Medda quickly sunk beside him.

“Toby! Toby!” The young man came running up to the loft. He looked puzzled as he saw Medda holding Francis close to her. “Get the police and take them to John and Kelly’s place. Tell them there’s been a murder.” Her voice gave out on the last word. She pulled Francis even closer to her and held him as they both cried. Her sister, his mother, was gone.

*****

John opened the door to find Toby and two policemen standing in the hall. “Are you John Sullivan?”

“Yeah. Why?”

The officer took his hands. “You’re under arrest for the murder of Kelly Sullivan.” The one cop put the handcuffs on him while the other went to find the body. He found just as Francis found her---sleeping soundly in an eternal sleep.

“We got a body in here. Take him away.” John didn’t fight the cops. He went along with them. He felt so guilty about what he had done. He hadn’t wanted to do it, but Kelly had asked him to, and he would do anything for her if he could.

*****

Medda looked around the loft and saw that Francis was no where to be seen. She hadn’t seen him since they had left the funeral. She excused herself and left to see if he was sitting down in the main hall. It was dark and empty. Where could he be? She then realized the one place he could be.

She quietly entered the apartment to find Francis lying on his parents’ bed. He was running his fingers along the cover of the book Kelly had been reading just before the accident. He looked up at Medda when he heard her enter the room.

“Francis?”

He turned his eyes back to the book and opened it. A card marked the place she had last read. “The two a hearts. She always used it ta mark her page.” Medda nodded. “How could she jus’ leave? She wasn’t finished with her book. She was at chapter twenty-one. It wasn’t like Ma ta jus’ leave a book unfinished. She can’t be gone! She can’t.” His tears were welling up. He got off of the bed. “An’ look.” He pointed to the closet. “She’s got dat new hat she bought. She hadn’t even gotten a chance ta wear it yet. Dat ain’t like her either. She’s comin’ back. She has to. There’s too much she ain’t done yet.” He couldn’t hold the tears in any longer. Medda walked over to him and pulled him close. He let the tears flow as he cried on her shoulder.

“I know. I know, but she isn’t coming back.” Francis nodded and cried till his tears were spent. That would be the last time he cried over his mother.

*****

TWO MONTHS LATER

*****

Francis stood just outside the courtroom. He watched as the police led his father out of the courtroom. They had just heard the verdict in his mother’s murder case. His father was guilty and would get life in prison.

John stopped walking when a voice made him turn his head. He looked at Francis. He was dressed in a new blue suit. Medda was standing beside him with her arms around him. “I hope dey kill you. I hope you go ta Hell.” He then turned from the rail and walked away. Medda didn’t look at John as she followed Francis out of the courtroom.

*****

Medda entered the loft to find Francis packing a bag of clothes. “What are you doing?”

“I’m leavin’. I’ve been doin’ some thinkin’, and ya don’t need ta worry about me, Aunt Medda. I’ll be all right on my own. I’ll get a job as a newsboy or a cabin boy, but I’ll be all right. I promise. I’ll come by an’ see you as much as I can, but I don’t want ta be a burden.”

“You’re not.”

Francis shook his head. “Yeah, I am. Look, I still love ya, but I can’t stay here. It reminds me of ‘im. I’m gonna go an’ get a job. I’ve got dreams ta fulfill. I wanna be a cowboy an’ go ta Santa Fe. Ma always said I’d make a good cowboy, so that’s where I’m goin’.” Medda nodded. She knew her nephew was just as stubborn as his mother had been, so she knew there was no fighting him on this matter.

“If you’re goin’ to be a cowboy, then ya need a hat.” She walked out of the loft and a few minutes later she reappeared with a black cowboy hat that had a string hanging from it. “Let me be the first to help you get started.” She placed it on his head. It was a little big, but it worked. “You’ll grow into it.” Francis hugged her. A few minutes later he left the loft to live his own life.

*****

TWO YEARS LATER

*****

Francis paced the small confines of his cell. He looked around it and wanted to scream. It was barely seven feet by four feet. The bed, if you could call it that, had no mattress, only the springs to lay on. Which was none too comfortable, and he had the bruises from them pinching him the night before to prove it. He had to get out of there. He hated being confined. He needed space. He needed to finish getting his money together, so he could get out to Santa Fe. He reached back for his hat when he remembered it wasn’t there. They had taken it. He needed his hat back.

He stopped pacing when he heard someone coming down the hall. He moved to stand by the door when he heard them getting closer. “Snyder says we’s got company comin’ tomorrow. We need ta get this place cleaned up. Da Governor is comin’.” Francis raised an eyebrow.

He heard another man groan. “Dat means we got our work cut out fer us. We gotta get these fellas back into the main cells. We ain’t suppose ta have confinement.” A moment later Francis’ door was opened. “Come on, Sullivan. You’re goin’ back ta the main cell.”

Francis nodded. “Whatever ya boys say.” ‘This will be my chance ta get outta this place.’

*****

Medda didn’t understand why the police had been by twice in two days to ask her if she had seen Francis. What had he gotten himself into this time? They kept the hall surrounded, and because of it, business had dropped considerably in those two days. She jumped when she heard someone knock on one of the windows in the loft. She pulled back the curtains to see Francis kneeling on the fire escape. She opened the window and moved so he could crawl in.

“Francis, what’s going on? Why are the police looking for you?”

Francis kissed Medda on the cheek. “I don’t got much time, so I’ll say dis quick. I was arrested for stealin’ food. I escaped two days ago, an’ dey’re lookin’ for me. I’ve decided ta change my name. I’m Jack Kelly now.” Medda got a bittersweet smile when she heard his parents names. “I’m gonna disappear for a while, so da bulls will stop botherin’ ya. I love ya, Aunt Medda. Always remember that.” He was looking out the window as if he were a scared animal. “Oh, an’ jus’ for a safety measure, I ain’t gonna call ya Aunt Medda anymore. I’m jus’ gonna call ya Medda. If they can’t connect us, it’ll be betta. I’ll come by when it’s safe.” He kissed her on the cheek and climbed out the window. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

Medda nodded. She knew he could take care of himself, but worrying was part of her job as his aunt. She closed her eyes for a moment as she realized how quickly he had grown up. When she opened them again, he was gone with out a trace of him even being there.

*****

Medda did enjoy Jack being on his own. She had freedom of not having to care for him, but along with that freedom came worry because if she didn’t see him for weeks or so at a time she feared he had been arrested again. This particular day happened to be one of those times where she hadn’t seen him in over a month and she was starting to get worried. She walked down the stairs from the loft to hear the muffled voices of men at the base of them.

“Shu. Shu. You’re not suppose ta be vack here,” she quietly scolded in her fake Swedish accent. She watched in amazement as the young man leaning against the railing turned to look at her. There was no fear in his eyes like the other two, just love.

“Ya wouldn’t kick me out wid out a kiss goodbye, would ya, Medda?” He walked up the steps and hugged her. As he did so he kissed her on the shoulder and whispered to where only they could hear, “I missed ya, Aunt Medda.”

Medda laughed. “Ah, Kelly, where ya been kid? I’ve missed seein’ ya up in the balcony.” Her accent was instantly dropped.

Jack took her hand and brought it gently to his lips. “Hangin’ on your every woid.” Medda smiled as they held each other’s gaze for a long beat. The other two boys could tell there was something more between them than friendship, but they couldn’t tell what. He proceeded to introduce them to his new friends, David and Les Jacobs. They stayed to watch the show, and as soon as Medda was finished with her act, Jack excused himself and followed her into the dressing room.

“Somethin’ wrong, Jack?” Medda asked as she sat down to relax. It would more than likely be one of the few moments she would have to relax all evening.

“Not really. Snyder saw me on da street an’ chased me.” He picked at the lace on one of her dresses that was hanging up on the wall.

“You know that’s not what I meant, Kelly. Why’d you leave your friends to watch the rest of the show? What’s goin’ on?”

Jack shrugged. “Not much. I was jus’ wonderin’, well, I noticed dat Pat doesn’t look much like Uncle Damon was suppose ta look like. I saw dat in one of your pictures in the loft a while back. I was thinkin’ dat, well,” boy, was he nervous about asking this question, “is Damon Pat’s real fadda?” Medda drew in a sharp breath. She had had a sinking feeling that that was coming. “Well, you are the first person to ever think he wasn’t, besides those who knew.” She swallowed. This was going to be hard. She hadn’t spoke of Robert in so many years. “No, he wasn’t. He married me when I had already had her, and he took us in as if we were always his. He loved her like she was his, so in a sense he was.” Jack nodded.

“Why didn’t ya marry him? The fadda I mean.”

“Because he was already married. I didn’t know that, and I thought we would get married.” She told a very short tale of what had happened, and by the end of it, Jack felt a new respect for his aunt that he had never had before. He hugged her and left Irving Hall with his new friends.

*****

FIVE MONTHS LATER

*****

Robert Harrell was walking down Broome Street when a rather large sign caught his attention. He looked up and was shocked to find he was staring into a more than life size portrait of the reason he had come back to New York after all these years---Medda Olson. He had been looking for her for a few weeks now, and it surprised him to find her, or who looked like her, headlining in a Vaudeville Hall. The sign said Medda Larkson, the Swedish Meadow Lark is performing here tonight. The sign was so big that it looked as if it were a permanent fixture. He looked at the theater in doubt before he paid the admission price and entered. He saw that the main floor was packed with men his age, and some younger, but he was surprised to find the balcony was nearly overflowing with young men that ranged in age from eighteen to seven. They were all yelling for Medda. He locked eyes with one that had cool hazel eyes and a very defined face. The boy would be very handsome when he got older, but now he still had that boyish quality about him. The looked at him, and Robert was shocked to find the boys eyes narrowed and they had such a chill to them that Robert couldn’t help getting chills. He quickly turned his gaze from the balcony to the stage as he waited to see his long lost love to perform.

He didn’t wait long before the voluptuous Medda Larkson came out onto stage. She began to sing, and her voice was as perfect as it had been all those years ago. He watched as she played the crowd, and he was surprised when she looked up to the balcony and winked at the crowd. He smiled until he saw the wink was returned by the boy with the cold eyes. Who was he to her? He was instantly feeling jealous. He looked back to the stage, and for the first time in thirty five years, he locked eyes with those beautiful blue eyes.

He wrinkled his brow as Medda stopped singing and only a second later she darted off the stage. Robert looked around as Irving Hall fell deathly silent. He wondered if it had ever been that silent. He stood up and left through a side door. He then found the entrance to the backstage and entered. He only paused when he saw Medda talking to the young man from the balcony. He slowly walked up to them.

“Hello.” They both turned to see Robert standing there. Medda’s eyes moved rapidly over his form, as his did with her. She hadn’t changed at all. She was still as beautiful as she had been at eighteen. The only sign of aging was the slight sprinkles of gray around her ears.

Robert watched as the boy protectively placed an arm around Medda’s waist. Medda looked at him, and Robert could feel the electricity and the connection between the two of them. How close were they?

“Robert. . . .” She started to say something, but stopped suddenly. Her shock quickly left and it was then covered by anger. “This is the backstage area. It is restricted to the performers. You can’t be here.” She looked back at Jack for a moment. She swallowed hard and opened her mouth, but nothing would come out. “I’m sorry, Kelly. I can’t do this.” Jack let go of her thin waist as she started up the steps to the loft. Jack watched her till she had disappeared into the dark hallway.

The moment she was out of view, he turned his eyes on Robert. Once again, he got a chill as those cold hazel eyes flash at him. “How dare ya? How dare ya show up like dat? Do ya have any idea how long it’s taken ‘er ta be able to get passed her memories of you? She was actually starting to have a normal life with out you intruding inta ev’ry thought she had!” Jack couldn’t help pushing Robert back a little.

“What? How was I to know?” Jack pushed him again. “Stop that! I’ll call the police.”

Jack only shrugged. “Go ahead. I’ve been arrested for worst. Insitin’ a riot, resisting arrest, steelin’, breakin’ outta jail. A lil’ assult won’t be anythin’.” He shrugged again. “‘Sides, I know how ta get out if I need ta. Plus I’ve gotta whole balcony full a guys, and all da employees here dat’ll back me up. Now, why’d ya come back?”

“I---I came to see Medda. I came to tell her that. . .you know what? I don’t have to explain myself to you. You’re nobody of importance. Or are you? Is this all because I’m here and you feel threatened that I might take your lover away?”

That was the last straw. His lover?! His lover. Boy did this guy really want a soaking or what. “She ain’t my lover. Dat’s jus’ sick! I’m Jack Kelly. Don’t forget dat name. She’s my aunt.” Jack hadn’t noticed that several of his newsies had come backstage to see what was going on.

“Yer aunt?!” Blink shouted. Jack turned around and nodded.

“We’ll finish dis later. Now get out!” He pushed Robert toward the door. Robert looked at him, anger actually starting to cross his eyes. “I said go!” Jack took another step toward him and Robert ran for the door.

“What was dat all about?” Race asked.

“Go on back ta da Lodgin’ House. I gotta check on Medda.” The guys did as their leader instructed as he started up the stairs to the loft.

*****

Jack slowly entered the loft to find Medda leaning over the sink. Jack didn’t even make a sound, but Medda knew he was there. He had a presence that couldn’t be ignored. “I thought I was over him, Kelly. I really did. I played out what I would say to ‘im if I ever saw him again. It was perfect. I was going to let him know what he put me through all these years. I was going ta let him know how he made my life a lining Hell, but when I saw him, I froze. I couldn’t come up with anythin’ to say. All I wanted to---and all I could---do was run.” She turned from the sink to show red rimmed eyes. Jack shook his head and crossed the room in three strides to gather his aunt in his arms.

“It’ll be all right, Aunt Medda. He’s gone. I sent ‘im away.” He smoothed her red curls as he talked to her. As he held her, he could feel her hot tears soaking his vest and shirt. This entire situation was odd for him. In his whole life, Jack had never seen Medda cry. When his mother had died, and his father sent off to prison, he couldn’t remember her crying. He remembered him crying and her holding him, but he never remembered her once shedding a single tear. He was sure she had in private, but she had been strong for him. Now he was the one being strong for her. He was the one holding her while she faced something that was hard and hurt.

After holding her for close to an hour, she finally stopped crying. Medda wiped her face and looked up at her handsome nephew. He was so strong and handsome. He reminded her so much of John. He looked as if he could take on the world. She knew he would do anything for those he cared about. It took her a moment to find her voice.

“Thank you. I needed to just be held.” Jack smiled and kissed her on the top of the head. “It’s late. You’ve got ta get up early, so ya need to go.” She could see the worry in his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

Jack shook his head. “I’m not doubting ya won’t. I’d jus’ feel betta if I stayed ‘ere tanight. I can let m’self out in the mornin’. I don’t wanna leave ya alone.” Medda started to shake her head. “Don’t argue. We both know I got Ma’s stubbornness.” Medda gave a small laugh. “Now go ta bed. I’ll lock up.” Medda nodded and went into her room as Jack left the loft to go lock the hall and everything up. He had a feeling it would be a long night.

*****

Jack sleepily walked into the distribution center. He was barely awake and in no mood for the questions he knew would be coming the moment his friends saw him. He was three steps in gate when Race saw him.

“Heya, Jack! Why didn’t ya come back last night?” He was worried, and it made Jack feel good that he did have the newsies to worry about him and his family. They just hadn’t realized that Medda was his family till last night.

“Medda wasn’t exactly well enough fer me ta leave ‘er last night. I stayed up while she slept incase she needed somethin’.” That was true. He had sat up all night long. He had checked on her with every sound he heard come from her room. He was exhausted, but he had to sell.

Blink walked up and handed him his stack of papers. “Okay, Cowboy, what’s wid callin’ Medda yer aunt?”

Jack shot Blink a glare, but he wasn’t mad. He was just grouchy, plain and simple. “Cause she is.”

“Then why did ya say you didn’t have a family?” David asked. He still couldn’t get it out of his head that Jack had lied to him in the beginning. He understood why, but the longer he knew him, the more truths were coming out. First his folks were out West. Then he found out that his mother was dead and his father was in prison, and Jack wasn’t his real name. Then to find out this morning that he really did have family. Jack confused David more than he could ever say.

Jack sighed. “I’m not really in da mood for dis.”

“Well, I, we, want to know why?” David said as he stepped in front of Jack.

Jack sighed again and rolled his eyes. “Fine. I neva let anybody know ‘cause it was betta for the both a us that no one knew. After I escaped da Refuge, Snyder had Irvin’ Hall staked out. I changed my name and told Medda to say she never had a nephew. I didn’t want ‘er ta have ta worry about constantly bein’ watched by da bulls. I want my aunt safe. Is dat all right wid ya, Davey?” Dave nodded and got back in line to get his papers. Jack nodded and gave the papers back to Blink. He was too tired and irritable to work. He was going to go back to the Lodging House to sleep.

*****

Medda slowly walked down the stairs to the backstage area of Irving Hall. Her head was killing her because she had cried most of the night. She had had to keep it quiet so that Jack would think that she was all right. He had heard her a few times, and when he had come in to check on her, she had feigned sleep, so he wouldn’t worry about her. She knew it was useless. He would and did worry. He couldn’t help. That was the part of John in him.

She entered the main part of the hall to find it empty. She was glad no one was around to see her this morning. She wasn’t sure she was ready to face her employees yet. She didn’t want to explain her episode last night was because her old lover had come back and had just torn her emotions in a million directions. She sighed as she pored herself a glass of water. She reached under the bar and took two aspirin.

“Still getting stress headaches?” Medda nearly dropped the glass as she whirled around to see Robert standing not too far from the bar.

“How did you get in here?”

“The side door was unlocked.” Jack. He must have forgotten to lock the door when he left this morning.

“Well, we’re closed. We won’t be open till this afternoon.” Medda turned her back to him. She hoped he would take the hint, but he didn’t. She turned back around to find that he had actually walked up to the bar. “You are still hard headed. Isn’t it clear I don’t want to see you?” Her tone was cool.

Robert only shrugged. “Maybe, but I just need to see you. I need to. . . .” He leaned across the bar and gently kissed her lips. Medda hadn’t expected that, so she wasn’t exactly sure how to react, at first. Once her senses came to her again, she pushed Robert off of her.

“What the hell are ya doing? Why did you think you could kiss me?” She was furious. “Robert, I left you thirty-five years ago because you had lied to me. You never said you were married, and I was pregnant with our daughter.” She sighed out of frustration. “And let me guess, you are now a widower and you think you can waltz right back into my life and we can pick up where we left off? Well, where I remember leaving off is me walking out of your office, and your life. I intend to keep it that way.” She pointed to the door. “Now why don’t you do the same?” Robert didn’t say anything, but he did sit down on one of the stools.

“You are still as fiery as you have always been.” He ran his fingers across the deep mahogany wood of the bar. “And your nephew has taken after you in that aspect. I do have to say that I did expect him to be a little better dressed than he was. I mean you must do well here.”

Medda narrowed her eyes. “If this your idea of trying to win me over, then you need more practice. Yes, Jack does have mine and Kelly’s spirit. And he takes care of himself, always has. He’s a good boy that will go far if he keeps his spirit, strength and determination. There aren’t very many seventeen-year-olds that can bring down such giants as Pulitzer.” Medda shook her head. “But, you didn’t come here to talk about Jack. And I made it clear earlier that I wanted you to leave.”

Robert shrugged. “Yes, you did, but, Lark, you must not want me to leave that bad because I’m still here. You didn’t throw me out. You just suggested I leave.” He saw Medda bristle when he called her ‘Lark’, and she bristled even more when she knew he was right. She hadn’t made him leave. She had just suggested it. But a true gentleman would have taken the hint and left. Then again, Robert hadn’t ever really been a gentleman. “I came here to tell you that I am meant to be with you. I have been a widower for ten years now. I had to wait for the right time to find you. I had things to take care of where I was living before I could find you. I had to finish making sure my children were well taken care of. I had to make sure I was ready for you, for the commitment that came along with this. I am.” Medda looked at him as if he was feeding her nothing but a bunch of lies.

“Medda, I was wrong all those years ago. I loved you, and I lied to you. I hurt you and I made your life hard because I was selfish. I’m sorry for that. I was just in a hard situation. I was married and had been for ten years. We had gotten married we were sixteen. We had to. I did love her, at first, but as the years wore on I changed and having three children was too much to take. I quickly fell out of love with her. We hadn’t had a normal marriage for a few years by the time I had met you.” He moved his hand to take hers, but she pulled her hand out of his. She didn’t know why, but she was actually listening to him.

“When I met you, I saw my life. My future. You were in it. You were it. I should have been honest with you from the start, but when you told me you were pregnant, I knew that Ashley wouldn’t be able to handle the fact that I had strayed. It would have killed her. She had been weak since the birth of our last child. I would have left her way before it had gotten to that point, but you know divorce is not something the upper class does, even now. She finally died ten years ago from a weak heart. All I had done all this time was think of you and our child. I wondered what you were doing, and how you were. I just wish that there had been a way for us to be together, but there wasn’t.”

Medda glared at him. “You’re right. There wasn’t. You didn’t have to worry about us. We managed fine. I found a loving husband and father for my child. He was a great man, and we had a perfect marriage for ten glorious years before he died. I won’t lie. My life has been a living hell, and it has always been because of you. If you hadn’t been married, I wouldn’t have married Damon. I wouldn’t have been a widow at twenty-nine. I wouldn’t have bought this wonderful hall. Kelly wouldn’t have moved here and met John, which ultimately led to her death. The only good things that have come out of you screwing my life up was Patty and Jack. I love them more than life it’s self. So, I guess, in that aspect, I thank you, Robert. I do. I’m sorry to hear of your hard life, but mine has been harder. I haven’t had my parents for over twenty years. I’ve had to burry my sister, see my brother-in-law, and best friend, carted off to jail for her murder. I’ve had to worry about my nephew as he wandered the streets. I had to fear if he would get arrested again. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been my life, and it has made me strong. I now know I don’t need you in my life. I thank you for making me realize all I need is my family and my inner strength.” She stuck her hand out. “Now goodbye, Robert. I hope you have a wonderful life.”

Robert took her hand slowly. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She had rejected him. Was she really over him? He had thought that their love had been so strong that it would last forever. He was obviously wrong. He turned from the bar in time to see Jack come bounding off of the stage.

“Medda?! Are you all right?” Then Jack’s eyes lit on Robert. “You! What are you doin’ ‘ere? I thought I told ya to stay away.” Jack was taking menacing steps toward Robert. He cracked his knuckles with every step. “I shoulda soaked the hell outta ya last night.”

“Jack! Don’t!” Jack looked at Medda. “Robert was just leaving.” Robert looked at Medda. “Forever.” Robert nodded, and as he started to walk off, he kept eye contact with Jack. Jack watched Robert till the door closed. He turned back to Medda to see her swallow hard and try to fight the tears.

*****

For the next two weeks Robert didn’t give up. Every morning he was waiting outside of Irving Hall. And every morning Medda let him in. She didn’t want to admit it, but she liked hearing about what he had done over the last thirty-five years. She wouldn’t admit it to him or anybody else, but she did. She even found herself breaking down her wall a little and telling him a little about her life. She never really said much about Patty. She didn’t want him to know much about their daughter till she was sure about what she was going to do with Robert herself.

He also went to every show. And every show he was under the cold and unfaltering eyes of Jack. Jack had even gotten so bold as to sit behind him a few times and talk the entire show. He was hoping that if he talked enough, Robert would get mad and not come back---ever.

Robert quietly walked backstage one night after the show to find Jack and a few of his rough looking friends talking with Medda. Much to his surprise, Robert saw a lovely brunette walk up to Jack and kiss him on the cheek. Jack, on the other hand, didn’t kiss her on the cheek, but gave her a deep kiss on the mouth. Robert was shocked to find that Jack had a girlfriend that looked to be rather delicate, and almost seemed too delicate against Jack’s rough street appearance. He then saw a woman in her mid-thirties walk up to them and Jack hugged her too. This woman was lovely with her red hair and curvy figure. He heard the girl laugh and it was exactly like Medda’s. Was this his daughter? She did look exactly like Medda. He didn’t move as he watched Medda, Jack and this lovely woman interact. It was obvious they all loved each other, and in actuality, Jack softened his appearance when he was with the two older women. He looked at each of them as if they were his mother. They were family.

Robert left the back stage area just as quietly as he had entered it. He would wait till later to talk to Medda, since he couldn’t make it in the morning. It was rather upsetting to have to leave without talking to Medda. He had decided that tonight would be the time he would make his move. He was going to let her know how he felt, and he was sure she felt the same way. Medda was stubborn and would never admit it, but she didn’t have to. He could see her true feelings in her sparkling blue eyes.

*****

Medda put down her book when she heard someone knock on the door to the loft. She pulled her wrap tightly around her as she opened the door. She opened the door to find Robert standing in the hall.

“Robert? What are you doing here?”

He walked in and took Medda in his arms. Without a word he captured her soft mouth with his. Medda didn’t respond at first, but slowly she gave into the feelings she had been fighting for the last two weeks---and the last thirty-five years---as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. They broke apart minutes later, both breathless.

“I love you, Medda. I have for years. Don’t say you don’t. I see it in your eyes, and I sure felt in that kiss.” Medda wasn’t saying anything, but tears filled her eyes. “Say it, Lark. You’ll feel worlds better when you do.”

“I love you, Robert. I never stopped.” Robert pulled her closer, if it were possible, and kissed her as he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. Medda was going to have her dreams come true that night. She was going to sleep in the arms of the man of her dreams again, and this time there was no wife between them.

*****

Medda woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon. She rubbed her eyes and stretched. The amazing memories of the night past came flooding back in a wave that made her smile. She had finally given into the urges she had been feeling since Robert had walked right back into her life. Last night he had kissed her and confessed his love. She had confessed the love she had been holding in for thirty-five years, and now, she knew, they could be together. The only thing was that she had some terms she had to set before they went any further. She sat up as Robert entered the room with a tray with two plates on it.

“I’ve seen your breakfasts. I figured you needed a good one this morning.” He leaned down and kissed her deeply. “And you will have a good one every morning for the rest of our lives.” Medda nodded and kissed him back. Breakfast was neglected for a little while longer.

*****

Jack quietly climbed in the window to the loft. He had tried every door to Irving Hall, and they had all been locked. It was well after ten, and it wasn’t like Medda to not be up. He was worried, and had Blink waiting in the alley to go get help. He knew he was over reacting, but this was his aunt, and he had seen how fast loved ones can leave, one way or another. He wasn’t taking his chances.

“Medda? Ya okay?” Jack walked through the loft. He knocked on the door to her room, but got no answer. He slowly opened the door to find the bed neatly made. She wasn’t anywhere in sight. Worry was gripping him even faster. He made his way to the washroom between the two bedrooms. He knocked and once again didn’t get an answer. He opened the door to find his aunt and Robert both in the bathtub. Jack froze at the sight.

“Jack!” Medda screamed when she saw him. She reached for the towel and began to slowly climb out. Jack didn’t move. His icy glaze was fixed on Robert, but a bright red blush crossed his face “Turn around!” Jack did as told. In fact, he left the room and walked out into the main part of the loft.

A few minutes later Medda and Robert both came out in their robes. Jack turned, still blushing, at glared at Robert. “I t’ought I told ya ta stay away from ‘er?! I don’t think takin’ a bath wid her is stayin’ away!” He then shifted his gaze to Medda. “What were ya thinkin’?!”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Medda couldn’t help smiling. “I was thinking that a bath with my love was a good idea.” Her smile faded. “Now, young man, what are you doing snooping through my house?”

“It’s afta ten! I was worried. I have been down stairs checking every door for fifteen minutes. I had to make sure ev’ry thing was all right. How was I ta know I was goin’ ta find ya wid him,” he pointed to Robert, “doin’ somethin’ indecent?”

Medda smiled as Robert wrapped his arms around her. Jack glared at the couple. “We weren’t doin’ anything indecent, Kelly. We were. . .what am I doing? You know about this stuff. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

Jack nodded. He was still upset, but that upset quickly changed to worry. “You’re right. Ya don’t. But who’s gonna explain him ta Pat?”

Medda looked worried for a moment. “You’re right. Patty will see I’m happy, and she’ll be happy for me. Plus she’s a grown woman.”

Jack nodded again. “Right. She’s a grown woman who’s about ta find out dat Uncle Damon ain’t her Pop. I don’t care what age ya are, that’s gotta be hard. Family ain’t somethin’ ta mess wid. Ya should know dat more dan anybody, Medda. I know I do. I’ve seen it wid you an’ Pat and da newsies.” He walked over to the window. “I hope ya figure somethin’ out.” He crawled out the window, but didn’t go down the fire escape without giving Robert one last glare.

*****

Medda fretted over Jack’s accusing words all day. He was right. Family was something that you didn’t mess with, and now she was about to ruin what Patty had always thought was her family. She was pondering these thoughts when Patty came into the hall later that morning.

“Mama! Mama! Cal just got the best case of his career. He’s goin’ to be the prosecuter for the double murder trial that starts in a month.” She hugged her mother as she finished the exciting news. She pulled away and finally noticed Robert. “Oh, hello.” Robert looked at Patty as if she were an angel. He had always wondered what she would look like up close. She was beautiful. She had his eyes. He smiled at her.

“Hello.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Robert Harrell. And you are?”

“Patty Redman.” After she shook his hand, she placed her finger over her mouth. “You look very familiar to me.” She thought about the other night. “I know. You were one of my customers the other night. I weight tables here. It’s nice to meet you, Robert.” Robert nodded.

“Likewise.” He wanted to pull her into his arms and hug her, but he couldn’t do that until Medda told her daughter the truth. He leaned across the bar and gave Medda a kiss. “I must be leaving now, Medda. I have some business to tend to. I’ll see you tonight.” Medda nodded and watched him leave the hall.

“Mama? I didn’t know you were seein’ somebody. How long have you known him?”

Medda looked at Patty. She hated the conversation that was going to come up, but she couldn’t avoid it. “About thirty-five years. We met during the war.” Patty nodded. She was truly interested in how they met.

“Did he know my father?”

Medda nodded. “Yes, he did.” She took a deep breath as she took Patty’s hand. This was almost as hard as telling her that her father, Damon, was gone. “Patty, honey, do you remember when I said I met your father in a hospital and we quickly fell in love?” Patty nodded. “Well, Robert was in that hospital.”

“Was he a patient?”

Medda sadly shook her head. “No, dear, he wasn’t. He was the surgeon I worked with.”

“I thought Daddy was the surgeon you worked with.”

“I did work with your father.” Medda took a long slow breath in. She wanted a drink. Maybe that would make it easier. “I met and fell in love with Robert when I was still living at home. We didn’t see each other again till I joined the war effort.” Medda squeezed Patty’s hand. “Patricia, Damon wasn’t your real father. Robert is.” Patty pulled her hand away and stared at her mother as if she had just said that she had the bubonic plague. “I was pregnant with you when I found out he wouldn’t marry me. He was already married. I had you and then went back to Little Falls when I was deathly ill. I met your father there and he gladly took us in. I couldn’t have asked for a greater man in my life. I loved Damon more than anything, but I’ve always loved Robert. He gave me you. I’ll never be able to thank him enough for that.”

Patty was shaking her head. She wasn’t hearing this. Her own mother had lied to her her entire life. “No. It’s not true.”

“I’m afraid it is.”

“I’m not hearing this. I’m not.” Medda came around the bar and reached for Patty. “Don’t touch me. You lied to me! Damon is my father. He will always be. I don’t even know the man who just walked out of here.”

“Patty.” Medda was going to try to calm her down, but she didn’t have a chance. Patty stormed out as Medda reached for her. Jack had been right. Even though Patty was a grown woman of thirty-five years, she had taken the news badly. Medda felt so bad, and for what felt like the hundredth time in the last two weeks, she cried.

*****

Patty ran from Irving Hall and Broome Street as if it were the devil. She was too hurt, angry and confused to think straight. All she could think of was that her entire life had been a lie. Damon hadn’t really been her father. Some strange man that she had just met was. She wasn’t sure what Medda had expected her to do, but if she had expected her to react positively and welcome Robert Harrell into her life with open arms, she had another thing coming. She wanted nothing to do with the man that abandoned her and her mother when they needed him the most. She was almost happy that things had turned out the way they had for Medda. If Robert had stuck around, then Damon wouldn’t have been her father, the man who raised her, loved her, cared for her. To Patty he would always be her father, and no stranger could take his place.

Patty stopped when she began to feel her legs and lungs burn with the cold December air. She looked across the street and noticed that she was standing in front of Tibby’s. It was a decent restaurant. She and Cal had eaten there many times, but that was the last thing on her mind. She needed to find someone to listen to what she felt. Some one who would understand, and someone who wasn’t emotionally involved. As she stared blankly at the door to Tibby’s she watched as close to ten newsies walked into the restaurant. For the first time, she noticed that it was filled with young men and boys. Newsies. Jack. Jack would understand everything.

She entered the small, but cosy restaurant very self-consciously. The bell above the door rang, and all noise stopped as all of the boys, and the few girls, noticed her standing there. Patty quickly realized that she was the only woman older than twenty in the entire establishment. She began to feel even more aware that everyone was looking at her. One of the boys slowly approached her. He was young, around fifteen or so. As he got closer, he noticed the tear stains on her pale cheeks, and the tears that were still filling her eyes.

“Ya all right, miss?”

Patty wiped away her tears as she started to speak. “I’m---is Jack Kelly here?”

Jack looked up from his conversation with Sarah and looked into the crystal eyes of Patty. He slowly made his way to the front of the restaurant. “Pat?”

“Oh, Jack, she lied to me. My whole life has been a lie.” She began to cry again, and this time it was worse than when she had left Irving Hall. Jack felt his chest tighten as he took his cousin in his strong arms. He smoothed her hair and kissed the top of her head. Everyone watched as Jack tried to comfort this strange, but beautiful woman that he obviously knew. There were only three other people that knew that Patty was his cousin---Blink, Race and Spot. They all watched on with concern.

Jack gave a slight whistle. “Ya found out huh?” She nodded, but continued to cry. “Shh...it’ll be all right, Pat. I promise.” He pulled her away from him, but held her at arms length. “Let’s head outta here an’ go talk. All right?” She nodded and wiped her eyes. “Let me tell Sarah what’s goin’ on.”

He walked back to his booth in the back of the restaurant. “Jack, who is that?”

“She’s my cousin. We’ve got some family problems. I’ve gotta go.” He kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll come by later, when I can.” She watched as he walked back up to Patty and put his arm around her. The walked out of the restaurant without another word said to anybody. Blink, Race and Spot were left to explain who Patty was.

*****

“An’ then she told me as if it were no big deal. Well, it is a big deal!” Patty was pacing the roof to the Lodging House. Jack sat quietly as Patty blew off some of the anger she was feeling. “I find out that my father wasn’t even my father an’ that some stranger I’ve never met is. What does she think I’m gonna do, accept him like I would accept a mail delivery? I don’t work that way. People don’t work that way!” She turned to look at Jack, and it wasn’t directed at him, but she was glaring.

“I knew dis would happen. I told Medda it would. I’m so sorry Pat. I really am.” He stood up and hugged his cousin, who was older, but definitely small than him, buy a good foot. He pulled away and began to pace the roof himself. He wasn’t exactly sure as to what to tell her. He knew he would react in the same way if he had just found out that John wasn’t his real father. Jack clinched his jaw and balled up his fists at the thought of his father. He was still bitter about that, but he never showed it.

He stopped pacing as the answer to what Patty should do came to him. He knew she wouldn’t like the answer, but it was the only one. “Pat, what I gotta say, you won’t like. Don’t hit me. Don’t get mad at me. It’s just the way things have to be.” He took Patty’s hands and led her over to the crates he had just been sitting on. He set her down and knelt in front of her. “Da way I see it is dat Aunt Medda shouldn’t a told ya the way she did. I agree that dat was wrong, but. . . .” Patty sighed and began to interrupt him. He looked at her sternly. “But! ya haven’t had a pop for twenty-five years, right?” She nodded. “I think it’d be a good idea if ya got ta know Robert. Ya never know, he could be a good friend. He can’t be a fadda to ya. You’re too grown for dat now, but he can be dere for ya. I mean, I’d give anythin’ ta have me pop ‘ere for me, but it ain’t possible. Not afta what he did. I jus’ don’t wanna see ya miss a chance ta be close ta your fadda. You should ‘ave him in your life.”

“I’m not gonna try! I don’t like him, Jacky! He abandoned us!”

Jack took her hands again. “You’re wrong, Pat. He was ready ta take care of you an’ Medda. She left him. She told me ‘erself.” Patty shook her head again as she pulled her hands from Jack’s. “Ya don’t have ta do it, but I think it’d be best if ya tried. If it don’t work out, ya tried for your mom. She needs dis. She’s finally happy. I know cause I saw ‘em awful happy dis morning.” Jack closed his eyes and shook the memory from his mind’s eye. “Ya tryin’ to work things out wid Robert would make ‘er happy. Try for Medda.”

“I don’t like ‘im!”

“Neither do I, but I’m gonna not soak ‘im for Medda’s sake.” He stood up and walked over to the fire escape. “I’ve told what I thought, so now it’s all up ta you.” He winked at her. “I know ya will do da right thing. Ya always ‘ave. Dat’s why you’re me favorite cousin.”

Despite the bad day, Patty had to laugh at that. “I’m your only cousin, Kelly.”

“Den it’s easy for ya ta be my favorite.” He started down the fire escape. “I’ll be ‘ere for ya. Always have, an’ always will. Loves ya, Pat.”

“Love you too, Franky.” Patty was still the only one who dared call Jack ‘Frank’, and she only did it on rare occasions. He shook his head as he disappeared over the edge of the roof. Patty remained up there for another hour or so as she tried to decide what she was going to do about Robert. When she made her decision, she headed down the fire escape and headed toward Irving Hall.

*****

“Mama? Mama?” Patty called for her mother as she searched Irving Hall. She found her in the office cooking the books. “Mama, where. . . .”

Medda didn’t let her finish. “Oh, Patty, I’ve been so worried.” She was relieved to see her daughter. She hadn’t been real sure where she had gone, or what she had done, and it scared her. Patty wasn’t an irrational woman, but she was very emotional at times. And the current news she had just gotten was a good reason to be extremely emotional.

“I’m not ready to talk to you yet, Mama. Where is Robert staying?” Medda looked a little confused, but she understood why Patty might not be ready to talk to her yet. She had a lot to work out.

“The Waldorf. Why?”

“Thanks.” Patty didn’t explain as she ran out the door.

*****

Patty knocked on the door to Robert’s hotel room. She unnecessarily smoothed her skirt. She had spent the last ten minutes trying to get his room number from the bell-boy down stairs, and finally had to threaten to knock on every door in the place till she found him. He then readily gave her the number.

Robert opened the door and was shocked to find Patty standing in the hall. “Patricia?”

“Robert.” She said his name coolly. She had a lot to say, and she didn’t want to give him the pretense that she was there for a good natured visit.

“This is a surprise. Come in.” She nodded and entered the small hotel room. “I wasn’t expecting to see you. I was just about to head out for dinner. Would you like to join me?”

Patty shook her head. “I’m not here to have idle chat. I’m here to find some things out.” Robert nodded and motioned for her to take a seat in the rooms only chair while he sat on the end of the bed.

“I’m sure you have questions.”

“Lots.” She didn’t say anything for a long while. She was regarding him with a guarded stare. She was trying to see why her mother had fallen in love with him and compromised her future. Why was he so special? He was handsome with his sparkling green eyes, soft lips, mostly gray hair. He was tall, well over six feet. His shoulders were broad, and she could tell his muscles were well defined, even at his age, which appeared to be close to sixty, but she wasn’t sure.

Finally after the long silence, she spoke. “Why? Why did you leave us? Why did you lie to her? Why did not chase after her? Did you not love her? Did you not love me? What? Why?” Patty had told herself that she wouldn’t get emotional during this, but she couldn’t help it. As she asked the last question, her voice cracked a little, and Robert could have sworn that her chin had quivered.

“Oh, Patricia, it wasn’t that easy. I did love your mother. I still do. I wish I could give you easy straight forth answers, but I can’t. I didn’t lie to Medda. I. . . .”

“Bull shit! That is pure bull shit!” She couldn’t help yelling.

“Watch your tongue young lady! I may not have been around, but I am your father all the same, and you will not talk to me like that.”

“My father! My father! You didn’t raise me. You didn’t love me.”

“Now stop right there!” Robert raised his voice slightly, and Patty found herself cringing slightly. “I did love you. I may not have raised you, but I did love you. I thought about you and your mother everyday. I thought about what kind of lives you might be living. I wondered how you looked. Did you look like me? Medda? Both of us? I now see you look like her, but you have my eyes and my nose. Patricia, you’ve turned out to be a lovely woman. I just wish I could have been there.”

“Why weren’t you, Robert? Why?”

“I was married. It wasn’t an easy situation. I couldn’t tell my ill wife that I had a mistress and she had my child. I hadn’t planned an Ashley living as long as she did. I thought that soon our marriage would be over, and I could come and find you and your mother, but until then, I couldn’t abandon my wife. You’re married. You must understand that.”

“I do understand standing by your mate, but I love Cal. I love him with my entire being. I would never have an affair, and lie to my lover. I would never abandon him when I was needed the most. I would go after him if he ran. I know love, and I would never turn my back on it the way you did.” She nearly spat out that last sentence.

“I wanted to go after Medda. I really did. But I also knew her. I knew that if I did, I would lose any chance I would ever have with her, ever. She isn’t the kind of woman that you question what they mean. What she says goes. I wasn’t going to risk losing her because of her temper.”

“Her temper? My mother doesn’t have a temper, unless provoked, and I’d say you provoked that by waiting till she was in love with you---and pregnant---to tell her you were married. But don’t you think having that temper would have been worth her not leaving. You could have actually been a father to me. I know it’s too late now, but I still want to know you. I’m not forgiving you for what happened, and I’m not forgiving my mother either, but I hope over time that we can work passed it and form some sort of relationship. I think you both made mistakes, and I’m the one who’s suffered here. I’ve missed knowing you for my entire life because you lied, and she is too damn stubborn to admit when she needs somebody. I’ve said my peace, so I’m gonna leave now.” Patty got up and walked to the door. “Bye, Robert. I’ll see ya at the show.” She left and walked out of the hotel. Her talk hadn’t helped her feel better. In all actuality, she felt worse--- more frustrated. But she also had a feeling that over time that frustration would go away, and something better would take it’s place. She only hoped that that feeling was right.

*****

Over the next two months, Medda, Robert and Patty had several long, serious talks. By the end of the two months, Robert and Patty had a semi-quasi father daughter relationship going. Cal had met Robert, and they had hit it off. Jack watched all of this from afar. He was happy for his cousin and aunt, but he still didn’t like Robert. It was almost as if he resented him. He wasn’t really sure where this feeling came from, but he had it. Every time he saw Robert hug Patty or give Medda a kiss, he felt resentment rise up in his chest, and at times it was so strong he almost couldn’t breathe.

To make things worse, his newsies thought he was being absurd since they all liked Robert. He was a kind man that treated them all like adults, no matter what their age was. Robert did view them all as adults, even if they were nine, because of the choices they had had to make in their short lives. Often times those choices were choices that no one should have to make, no matter what their age, nine or ninety.

Jack was waiting back stage to talk to Medda. She had sent Toby to the Lodging House with a message for him to get to Irving Hall as soon as he possibly could. He hoped it wasn’t anything urgent because he wasn’t going up in the loft. The last time he had done that, he had seen things that he should have never seen, and the mere thought of that gave him chills. Medda came walking down the stairs from the loft with a unbelievably huge smile on her face. Jack couldn’t help smiling back because Medda’s smiles always seemed to light up her entire face. His smile faded some what when he saw Robert coming down the stairs behind her. Jack gave Robert a cool stare before he turned his attention back to Medda.

“Ya wanted ta see me, Medda?”

“Yes. Robert just asked me ta marry him, and I said yes! We’re getting married!” She squealed and hugged Jack. Jack hugged her tight, and tried his best to force a smile to his lips.

She pulled away a moment later. “Congratulations, Aunt Medda. Dat’s great.” Medda watched him since she could tell his tone was forced and very fake. “I’m sure you’ll be really happy.” He swallowed hard. It was nearly choking him to not say what he was thinking. “So, when’s da date?”

“Um. . .in a two weeks.”

“Two weeks?! Dat’s too soon, Medda! I mean, ya’ve only been tagether for two months, an’ now ya wanna get married in two weeks?” Jack thought he was doing a pretty good job keeping his emotions in check, seeing as how he wanted to kill Robert and put his beloved aunt over his knee till she saw what a mistake she was making.

“You’re right, Jack, and under different circumstances we would wait, but we’ve loved each other for thirty-five years. Why wait any longer than we have too?”

Medda could tell that that didn’t pacify him. “Jack, we love each other. We have our child’s blessing. I need yours. I want you to give me away.” Her blue eyes were pleading with his cool hazel ones.

Give her away? Give her away! Had she gone completely mad? There was no way in Hell he was going to five his only aunt to a man he hated. Before Jack realized it what was going on, he was voicing his thoughts. “Like hell I will! I ain’t gonna give ya away, Medda. He abandoned ya once. What makes ya thing he won’t do it again? He says he loved ya, but I bet ‘e said da same thing da last time too. Love don’t mean nothin’. Pop loved Ma, an’ he killed ‘er. Where did love leave ‘em? A grave an’ a jail, dat’s where. Love could leave ya left alone again, an’ I ain’t gonna let ya ta be left alone wid him ta be hurt. I don’t wanna see ya get hoit.” Jack stormed out, leaving the couple standing stunned after his outburst.

“Don’t worry, Kelly, ya don’t have to give me away for me to get hurt. You just took care of that.” Medda turned and headed up the stairs to the loft.

*****

Patty entered the loft to find her mother sitting on the sofa, crying. Her body shook with sobs. She had never seen her mother in that shape. Her body was actually racking from the sobs. “Mama, what’s wrong? Where’s Robert?” Patty was worried when she realized that Robert was nowhere to be seen.

“He’s gone. I---I ended it. The wedding’s off.” She hiccupped in gulps of air between words and sobs.

“What? Why?”

“Jack won’t. . .won’t. . .give us his blessing, and give me away. If any part of my family doesn’t want me ta get. . .married, then I won’t.” She hiccupped again.

“What?!” Patty didn’t really want an answer, but her anger was so strong that she was way beyond livid. She couldn’t even see straight. She clinched her jaw, so her anger wouldn’t explode at the wrong person. “Mama, Jack’s blessin’ isn’t necessary. What’s necessary is your own happiness. You’re going to marry Robert, and I’m goin’ to take care of Jack. Now, get cleaned up, and go tell Robert you still want to marry him.” Medda nodded and Patty left the loft without another word.

*****

Kloppman looked up when he heard someone stomping into the Lodging House. He was surprised to look at a lovely woman, but her beauty was paled by the angry look on her face. “Can I help ya, ma’am?”

“Where’s Jack Kelly?” Kloppman sighed. Why did they always want Jack? What had he done now? The last person to look for him was Snyder, but this woman looked like she could kill him. He wanted to tell her that he wasn’t there, but this woman looked as if she wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer.

“He’s upstairs. I’ll show ya.”

“Thanks, but I think I can find him.” She started up the stairs with Kloppman right behind her.

She entered the bunk room, and quickly scanned it for Jack. She didn’t have to look long. She found him lying on a top bunk watching the poker game that was going on beneath him. As she locked her gaze on him, all of the anger she had been barely keeping in check exploded, and everyone knew it.

“Francis John Sullivan!” Everyone jumped at her yelling, but as soon as they realized what she had yelled, they all looked from her to Jack in shock. No one called him Francis, unless they had a death wish.

Jack looked toward the door to see Patty standing there. “Pat?” He was too shocked to be angry over her using his real name.

“Don’t ‘Pat’ me, Francis! What the hell is your problem? What were ya thinkin’ when you said that you weren’t goin’ ta give my mother your blessing? She ended the engagement!”

Jack jumped off of his bunk. “Good. Maybe she finally realized what a jerk dat guy is.”

“She’s heartbroken!” Patty actually pushed Jack when he reached her. Jack was more than taken aback by the gesture. He had never seen her that mad. “She still wants to marry him, an’ she going to because I told her to. You have no right to say what she can and can not do, and I’m here to find out why, and to tell you that you will be there to give her away. You will give her your blessing. My parents finally have a chance to be together, and I’m not going to let my bull headed cousin get in the way.” She was glaring up at Jack.

Jack looked around nervously. “Can we take dis up on da roof, or somethin’?” He didn’t like everybody knowing his family business. Patty nodded and followed Jack out of the bunk room and up to the roof. She had barely set foot on the roof when she started in on Jack again.

“What is your problem?”

“I don’t like Robert. I don’t like how he left ya an’ Medda all those years ago. I don’t want dat ta happen again.”

Patty nodded, but she really didn’t understand. Robert loved them, and he wouldn’t leave them this time. “He loves her. He won’t leave.” Patty was trying to reason with a level head, but it was difficult with her being so livid with Jack.

Jack rolled his eyes and put some distance between him and Patty. “Love don’t mean anythin’. Sarah said she loved me, but she dumped me for a college guy. I guess love don’t cover smarts. Love isn’t always what da person says it is.”

“That’s not true, Jack.” Her anger was slowly fading as she began to realize where this was coming from.

“Yes it is!” Jack raised the pitch of his voice as he ran his fingers through his hair. Why was his aunt’s happiness causing him so much pain? “Pop loved Ma, but he killed ‘er. Don’t tell me dat love is more than woids.” Jack shook his head and closed his eyes. He could feel his throat tightening and the back of his eyes start to burn. He wasn’t going to cry; he refused to. He hadn’t cried in over four years, and he wasn’t going to now.

Patty closed the gap between them. She stood only inches from him as she reached up and touched his face. “Oh, Franky, have you ever thought that his love for your mother was why he killed her?” Jack’s eyes flew open. “I believe that’s what happened. I honestly do.” Jack looked at her in complete astonishment. She was actually defending him! How could she?

“I doubt dat,” was all he could say, and his voice wasn’t anywhere close to being strong.

“Can you not sell tomorrow?” Jack nodded at the odd question. “Good. Meet me at Irving Hall at eight tomorrow morning. I’m going to show you something.” Patty stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. She left the roof and Jack standing in the cold February night.

*****

Jack stood in front of Irving Hall. Patty was running late, and he was getting edgy because he didn’t want to see Medda. He was feeling guilty for what he had done, but he wasn’t ready to face her yet.

He gave a sigh of relief when he finally saw Patty coming down the sidewalk. He met her a block from the hall. “You’re late, and I’m freezin’.”

“Sorry. We’ve gotta hurry. The train leaves in twenty minutes.”

“Train?”

She grabbed his hand and began to pull him down the sidewalk. “Just trust me.” Jack didn’t ask anymore questions about there they were going.

*****

Robert stopped a few feet from his hotel room at the Waldorf. Much to his surprise and bafflement, Medda was lying in front of his door sound asleep. His state of shock only stayed for a moment as it quickly dawned on him why she might be there. He could feel his heart start to rise from its sunken state. He quietly approached her and knelt down beside her.

“Lark? Medda?” He was persistently shaking he shoulder.

Medda slowly opened her eyes and focused on Robert’s handsome face. She looked around her and realized that, much to her embarrassment, she had fallen asleep in the hallway waiting on him to get back to his room. “Oh, Robert, I was so worried! Where were you all night? I was so scared you had done something foolish.” Medda sat up and hugged him quickly.

“After I left the loft, I was so hurt and confused, not to mention angry with Jack for what he did, that I couldn’t face staying in this room alone, so I wandered the city. I ended up sitting on the steps of the hospital we worked at and just thought.” He finished and an awkward silence fell over them. He took a deep breath and asked the question that was on both their minds. “Why are you here, Medda?”

She didn’t answer right away as she collected her thoughts. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have let you leave last night, but most of all, I was wrong to let Jack govern my life. He shouldn’t have control over my happiness like that, and my happiness is you. I love you, Robert. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Robert didn’t answer her, but he pulled her into a deep kiss. He picked her up and carried her into the room, never breaking the kiss.

*****

Jack looked at the massive expanse in front of him. He shifted his gaze to Patty, but his gaze turned to a glare. “What da hell are we doin’ at the state prison?” He had a good idea what they were doing there, but he wanted to hear her say it.

“You’re going to find out that love isn’t as bas as you think it is. I’ve been here several times to visit Uncle John over the past few years, and you’ll be surprised at what he has to say.” She looked up at Jack. “He’s missed you, Franky, and deep down I think you’ve missed him too.”

A guard let them through the gate. “Go see him.” She gently pushed Jack forward and after a moment he followed the guard into the building.

*****

“Hey, Sullivan! You’ve got a visitor!” John Sullivan looked up from his job of cleaning the tables from lunch.

“Is it Patty?” She had been the only one to visit him in the last four years.

“Nope. Some guy named Jack Kelly.”

John followed the guard to the visitor’s room. He saw a tall man standing with his back to him. “Are ya Jack Kelly?”

John noticed the man’s back stiffen. “Yeah, I am, Pop.” Jack turned around and looked into his father’s face for the first time in four years. In that moment, he knew he had missed his father as much as he’d missed his mother.

John looked at Jack for a long moment. “Francis?” Jack nodded. John laughed and walked toward Jack to hug him, but Jack moved away. “It’s good ta see ya, son.” He sounded happy, but his face showed his pain. “Ya’ve grown into a fine young man.” Jack visibly winced as he saw the hurt in his father’s eyes, and he didn’t like the fact that the pain he was feeling was all because of him.

“Yeah, well, I sorta had ta grow up fast.” Jack’s cool remark cut to the quick.

“I’m sorry ‘bout that. I truly am, but I didn’t have a choice.”

Jack gave a sarcastic laugh. “Ya didn’t have a choice in killin’ me mudda? Your wife? I thought ya loved ‘er, an’ ya kill ‘er?” All of the anger and hurt that Jack had been feeling over these last few years were quickly boiling to the surface.

John sat down at the table in the center of the room. He placed his head in his hands for several minutes. When he finally looked up, Jack couldn’t read his face. “Have ya ever been in love, Frank?”

Jack shrugged. “I thought I was, but she left me for a college guy. I guess I wasn’t smart enough for ‘er.”

John smiled. “Don’t worry ‘bout dat. When ya were wid her, would ya have done anythin’ for ‘er?”

“I did. It wasn’t enough though.”

John nodded. “Well, I loved yer Ma that much. She was in so much pain dat she couldn’t take it. She was beggin’ me ta kill ‘er. She didn’t wanna suffer till she died. It nearly killed me ta do it, but I did ‘cause I loved ‘er. If I could do it all ova again, I would. I regret it everyday, but if it was what she wanted, I’d do it again. Do ya understand?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah, but ya didn’t think, Pop. What about me? I was thirteen! I needed my folks, both of ‘em. I needed ya. I’ve lived on da streets for da last four years. I’ve been arrested twice an’ had ta change me name. None of dat woulda happened if ya woulda t’ought of me.” Jack ran his fingers through his hair as he paced the small room. “God, Pop, I’ve missed ya! I’ve missed havin’ a fadda. My best friend has a family, an’ I’m so jealous of ‘im at times dat I actually hate him. I mean, Kloppman’s great, but he ain’t no fadda. I’ve needed ya, an’ ya’ve been locked up in dis place,” he gestured to the room, “an’ it’s all because ya didn’t think.” Jack stopped pacing and leaned against the wall.

“Ya had Medda and Patty.” Jack shook his head. “I chose ta not be dependant on them. I could take care of myself.” Jack laughed a little because he realized why Patty had brought him there. It wasn’t for him to find you that love wasn’t just words. He started to shake his head. “God, Pat, you’re good.” He laughed once more before he looked at his father’s confused look. “Medda’s gettin’ married ta Patty’s pop. She wanted me ta give ‘er away, an’ I said no---along wid stuff I shouldn’t a said. I didn’t think.” John still looked confused. “I love Medda, but I didn’t do what she asked because I don’t like the guy. I should ‘ave agreed to do it ‘cause it would make her happy.”

Jack fell silent for several long moments. He slowly walked over to where John was sitting. “I think I understand why ya did what ya did.” He took a deep breath because his next statement was the hardest one he would ever have to say. “I’m sorry, Pop.” John stood up and hugged his son for the first time in years.

“Me too, Frank. Me too.”

*****

Patty looked up when she saw Jack exit the prison. “Well,” she asked when he stopped in front of her. He didn’t say anything, but he kissed her on the forehead and put his around her as he led her away from the prison. Patty smiled because she knew she had been right about what happened between Jack and John.

*****

Medda spent the entire day wrapped in Robert’s arms. She reluctantly left his bed to open Irving Hall for a few shows.

She was only a block from Irving Hall when she saw Patty and Jack. She got close enough to head the end of their conversation. “She must still be with Robert.” Jack gave a low groan from deep in his throat. “Jack,” Patty warned.

“I know, Pat. I know.” He shook his head. “I’m tryin’, but it’s been a long day.” He looked behind Patty and made eye contact with Medda and guilt washed over him. “I gotta go, or, uh. . .Kloppman’ll lock me out an den I’ll be sleepin’ in an alley.” He hugged her quickly and left his cousin and aunt watching him walking in the wrong direction.

“Hey, Jacky, that’s the wrong way.”

Jack didn’t turn around, but he yelled back, “I know dat!” But he kept walking in the same direction.

“Why did he leave?” Medda asked as she wrapped her arm around Patty’s waist.

“He’s had a long day. I took him to see Uncle John today.”

“You did what?”

“I’ll help you open while I tell you everything. Everything’s gonna be all right, Mama.”

*****

TWO WEEKS LATER

*****

Medda stood before the full length mirror in her simple, cream colored wedding gown. She was tying the satin ribbon on the top of her bodice. “I’m so excited that I’m trembling.” She held out her hand for Patty to see.

“You’ve been waiting for this day for way too long.”

Medda nodded, but her eyes suddenly filled with sadness. “I haven’t seen Kelly in two weeks. I was hoping he would come, but I guess he’s too. . . .” Medda broke off when she heard the door to the bride’s room open.

“Stubborn? Hot tempered? Totally sorry fer bein’ a bastard.” Medda turned to see Jack standing in the doorway. He was handsome in the tuxedo he obviously borrowed. He was the spitting image of his father standing there. “I’m sorry, Aunt Medda. I shouldn’t a said dat stuff. I want ya ta be happy, an’ if marryin’ Robert will make ya happy, den ya’ve got my blessin’.” Medda wiped a tear as she hugged him. “But if ‘e hurts ya, I’ll kill ‘im.” Medda chuckled. She knew it was an empty threat, but she also knew that if Robert did hurt her in anyway that he would have to anser to Jack for it.

“Thank ya, Kelly. Your mother would be so proud.”

Jack gave a bittersweet smile. “I came ta tell ya dey’re ready for ya.” He buttoned the jacket to his tuxedo that he had borrowed from Denton. He offered her his arm, and led her down the aisle.

Robert’s breath caught when he saw Medda enter the chapel. Her simple cream colored gown had a tight laced bodice that cinched her thin waist in even more, and the skirt flared out slightly. Her hair was swept up with little flowers worked into her curls. She was beautiful!

Medda and Jack stopped at the end of the isle. Robert walked up to them, and Jack gently touched his arm. “I’m givin’ her to ya, but ya hoit ‘er, an’ you’ll have ta answer ta me. Take good care of her.” Robert nodded as he took Medda’s hand. “Welcome ta da family,” Jack said as he took his seat beside Patty and Cal.

Robert couldn’t remember his first wedding, so he didn’t know if what he was feeling was normal. His head was pounding; his palms were sweating; it was hard to breathe. He was excited and nervous at the same time. He could barely hear what the minister was saying. All he could concentrate on was Medda---the love of his life. She was just as beautiful as she had been when he first laid eyes on her at the winter carnival all those years ago. She had been buying roasted chestnuts.

Medda was having trouble keeping her tears in. Her dreams were coming true. She was finally marrying the man she’d loved from ‘hello’. After all these years, Robert was still breathtakingly handsome. The gray in his hair made him even more distinguished. She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard the minister as her a question.

“Do you, Medda Larkson, take Robert Harrell to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.” The rest of the ceremony flew by. She didn’t hear another word uttered until Robert kissed her, and she heard the minister pronounce them as husband and wife. It was real. They were finally married, and Medda let out a sigh of relief.

*****

“Did you know I told Kelly that I would marry you that first night we met at the winter carnival?” Medda’s statement caught him by surprise. She had been quiet as they danced together.

“No. What made you decide that?”

“You. Everything about you. I knew we would be married. I just didn’t think it would take thirty-five years, but I was right.” Robert smiled and kissed her deeply. Their kiss was interrupted when they each got a tap on the shoulder.

“May we cut in?” Jack and Patty asked in unison. Robert and Medda broke off and went with their two new partners.

“Are ya happy, Medda?” Jack asked as he twirled her around the dance floor.

“I am.” She looked over at Patty and Robert as they danced. “Look at them. This is all I’ve ever wanted. I finally have my family together, all of it, and that includes you.” She hugged Jack tightly. “I’m just glad she finally got to know her father. He may have caused me so much pain, but it was worth it to see them together.”

“To see ya two finally tagether.” Jack kissed her on the forehead.

*****

The snow was coming down in a light late winter snow storm. Jack tightly wrapped his coat around him as she stood in the middle of the small cemetery. He laid a single flower he had taken from one of the flower arrangements at the reception for Medda and Robert’s wedding. It was a red rose, Kelly’s favorite. He took a deep breath as he looked at the small headstone. He whispered the name aloud.

“Kelly Sullivan, 1854-1895.” He swallowed hard as he reflected on the last four years. “Ya know dis is the first time I’ve been ‘ere since da funeral? I mean, I’ve walked passed it too many times ta count, but I ain’t never stopped.” He looked around to make sure he was the only person around, and he was. No one was out in the cold, unless they had to be, and he felt he had to be.

“So much has happened since ya’ve been gone. I gave Aunt Medda away taday ta Robert Harrell---Patty’s fadda. Ma, she looked so beautiful. Ya would ‘ave been proud. I’ve had a hard life, an’ I’ve done some things ya wouldn’t a been proud of me for, but I had ta. I jus’ wanna say I’m sorry for what I did.” He took a deep breath. “Med. . .uh. . .Aunt Medda an’ Pat took good care of me when I needed ‘em to. Pat was da best though. She helped me see dat love ain’t just words. I have ta be honest, I haven’t forgiven Pop for what he did. I actually wished ‘e had been da one ta die for what he did.” He gave a small laugh because he could see his mother’s disapproving look in his mind’s eye. “But, Pat made me go see ‘im a few weeks ago. He told me what happened, an’ why he did what he did. I didn’t see till now, but he loved ya more dan his own life. I hope I can find a love like dat one day. I think Med. . .uh. . .Aunt Medda finally has dat kinda love. I’m workin’ on things wid Pop. I’m tryin’ ta get things back ta normal between us. It’s gonna be hard, an’ well, I ain’t too good at askin’ for help, but Ma, we need ya. We need ya ta help us get back what family we have left. I love ya, Ma, an’ I still need ya.” He started to walk off, but stopped a few feet from the grave. “Keep an eye out for us, Ma.” He stared at the grave a moment longer before his thoughts were interrupted.

“Ya comin’, Jacky?” Race asked as he walked passed the cemetery.

“Yeah.” He joined Race across the street.

“What were ya doin’ over there?” Race asked as he lit a cigar.

“Keepin’ da family up ta date.” His answer made no sense, so Race just shrugged it off as they walked down the road. ‘Thanks for listenin’, Ma.’