Know what really pisses me off? It pisses me off when people bitch about being bored. Worse, when people bitch about being bored and they expect *me* to act as their entertainment committee. No, I'm not talking about you, although you obviously have some time on your hands if you're lurking around here. But at least you're making an effort to keep yourself entertained. And in cyberspace, no one can hear you whine (yet).

Bored, you say? Hit the road! I'm a road trip junkie, and my poor rusting '90 Cavalier is proof of that. Since I can't drive it more than 30 minutes without it going into severe cardiac car coma, I've been known to take a few virtual tours. One of the goals I have is to get my kicks on Route 66, which runs through Lebanon, Missouri, the home base for the maternal side of my family where you can find both kinds of my relatives - those with teeth, and those without.

I only have one qualification for road trips: they must be loaded with kitsch. Roadside America knows from kitsch. This is the only guide you'll need to the tackiest, scariest sites to be seen in the US. And if you need a place to stay, check out Motel Americana. And where else can you find kitsch with the greatest of ease than in The South? I'm a little too midwestern to be southern, but lawd, how I wish that wasn't the case.

Or you can just sit right here and entertain yourself with some of the goodies on the web. Sometimes it's hard to believe that this medium was developed for intellectual pursuits, especially when you lurk around The Dumbass Page. If you want to see dumbasses in real time, check out Christie's Internet Matchmaker. Aside from the 12 cool people on there, it's a great example of all those Internet L*U*V stories "Dateline NBC" likes to warn us about. And if worse comes to worse, you can always Punch Rush. I know that I can entertain myself for hours by beating the hell out of conservative blow-hards. After all that banality, you better head for Jeopardy Online Look for rwhee. I'd love for someone to challenge me to a round. Need some tunes to keep you occupied? Get NetRadio.