If you do not mind paying taxes because you believe that the money is the government’s anyhow.

If the only thing you watch on television is your local communism show on cable access.

If for a wedding gift you send a donation to the unemployed Mississippi cotton pickers.

If you actually believe in the 5 year plan.

If you believe it would be more practical to put 9 women on pregnancy than just one.

If you do not wear underwear.

If you do not make a mistake when you vote because there is only one candidate.

If you believe that no woman can have 2 mink coats until every women has one.

If you march in parades carrying a picture of Stalin over your head.

If you think Gorbachev ended the Cold War.

If your wedding rings were made from the steel of a cannon that fought at Stalingrad.

If your pick that you slave with in the coal mines is an exact replica of the that killed Trotsky(GOP).

If you like Captain Planet(GOP).

If your ceiling lamp is a rock from Chernobyl(GOP).

If you ride around in a van solving mysteries(Funky D).

If your a cartoon charcter with your own rock band.

If you do not mind being given a number instead of a name.

If you believe the internet should be controlled by your party is a propagada machine.

If you have a mini red square in your kitchen dining room.

If you keep Lenin's real ear in a gold box on your TV.

If you gave money willingly to the Vietcong during the Vietnam War.

If you believe that Russia had a better missle program during the sixites.