by SpiderBraids
So, it had been coming down all week to this. The Rocket gang playing the NHL pros. The likes of Reggie Rocket sparring it off against the likes of Jeremy Roenick. Forget Tony and Otto [RP, "Enter the Hawktrix"], this was going to be the celebrity run-in to end all celebrity run-ins.
Anyways, while Trish the Yin-Yang lady is busy firing hockey pucks at 100+mph, we have ourselves an exposition announcement: It's the semifinals of the NHL Breakout inline hockey tournament (the real NHL does in fact organize this kind of tournament, under that exact name to boot), and we're reminded that "the winning team will get a chance to play an exhibition with actual pros from the NHL." And we'll see those pros in just a few minutes.
First though, time to bring out the first semifinalists. It's the Rockets (aka mini-Colin, his sister, the Ditz, and the Squid) vs. the Lasers (read: big brother Lars and his gang). Lars has this pre-game taunt: "Ready to get your butts kicked in front of everybody in Ocean Shores?" The game is pretty sloppy, and I'll spare you most of the details, except for this: Lars finds himself complaining, "Dudes, must I do everything myself?" Now, heading into the final 15 ticks, it's still scoreless. That is, until Squid fakes a pass to Reggie and instead handing off to her brother who puts it in, and the Rockets take it. Whoop-de-doo.
Next up, it's Ocean Bluffs vs. Peninsula View. The first semifinalists are watching Bluffs beating up View. Lars is taunting the Rockets. They leave. Boring, right? Well, time for them to have a brief run-in with the pros: Martin Brodeur, Luc Robataille and of course Jeremy Roenick.
Sam is trying to get Brodeur to sign his helmet, while Otto's getting him to sign his stick. Roenick sez: "Hey, maybe we'll wind up playing together in the exhibition." And at this point, most of the RP faithful are saying "Oh yes, you will." Just before leaving, Brodeur drops the most quintessential advice when it comes to goalkeeping: "Just play tough between the pipes... they can't win if they don't score." Gee, thanks, Mr. Obvious. :p
Back at the Shack. The Rockets are watching tapes of Ocean Bluffs. They're tough. They're big. Rockets will need someone tough and big. Like, Lars. Otto reckons Squid might be on to something here.
That said, I must be missing something here, since the discussion seems to suddenly imply that they're replacing their goalie. There's no clear explanation why, of all the other positions on the field, they're using Lars as a goalie, when he's clearly more of a forward-type guy.
Back to the story. Squid is okay with the idea, so discussion's over. Sam is complaining with Tito that "Lars is everything [he's] not." Tito drags out the first of several canoeing comparisons in this story: "He who is on the canoe is responsible for the journey whether he has a paddle or not. ...You may not have a paddle, but you can still contribute to the journey." And indeed, he does have something Lars doesn't: a brain (insert groan from RP viewers here). Sam gets ready to leave, but first, some fries. "Brain food."
Time for the finals, and another cheap canoeing reference ("Didn't play a lot of hockey on the islands, did you, bro?" -- Ray). We head over to the Rocket bench, and Squid drops some strategy for Lars: the opponents always try to draw the goalie out of the net. Lars response: "Just keep the bench warm, will you, Einstein?"
The puck drops, and a defensive stop quickly leads to the Bluffs' first score. Lars: "Let's see some defense!" Next, a wraparound with 7 bucks and change remaining puts the score at 2-zip after the first period.
Intermission discussion. Otto is fingering Lars to step it up. Squid is trying to suggest more strategy to Lars. Big brother is interrupting him, however: "We know what the problem is and we know it ain't me."