by SpiderBraids
Morning, and Twister, Sam, and Tatupu are talking about the waters out there. Apparently, they're windsurfing in the same waters where Chief Kupe battled the giant squid. That makes the waters here sacred. OK, Sammy, first you use his club to fix "your" dirtboard, and then you're windsurfing in the waters of his famous battle? Sounds awfully close to the New Zealand equivalent of building a house on Indian burial ground, if you ask me... "New Zealand is a totally weird place to live!" At least you're probably not going to run into Frodo Baggins, Ditz.
OK, Reggie is sorry... about Otto's wheel. But she ain't apologizing for keeping her board last race, no sirree. Brother's reaction: "If that's the way you want to be about it, forget it." Squid, in the meantime, wants to observe the tapu (a fancy word for sacred) and pay homage to Chief Kupe, because "if you don't pay your respect to the tapu, something bad will happen"... Tatupu's words, not mine. Anyways, Mini-Colin sez: "There's no time for that, Squid!" You really do wanna tempt the fates, huh, do you, Otto?
Course explanation: they're supposed to windsurf around six buoys, and according to the map, there's a sandbar just to the left of the 5th buoy requiring them to sail wide. They're not up for a woogie tho.
Colin Lite got reprimanded for not checking his gear in the last leg, so Ray is making sure about his son's gear, because they "don't want any more wheels coming off." Last check, Ray, sailboards don't have wheels... "Whatever. Let's just race." Wonder if Colin Guinn ever said this during his TAR season?
OK, everyone's behind Otto, so Ray thinks, and it's conch shell time. And it looks like Otto's got himself a fast start, and Tito, would you please quit it with the "bruddah" talk?
Meanwhile, I'm told that Reel Big Fish is responsible for the song accompanying this race. Just about my only familiarity with them is their comical cover of A-Ha's biggest (some say only) hit Take on Me, from the movie Baseketball. A word of warning if you're gonna check it out tho: it stars the creators of South Park, of all people, so it has very foul language, and some nudity.
Back to the race. Otto is two buoys ahead of Theodore and the rest, as he's sailing wide at the 5th buoy... and he's just run himself into a sandbar. "Sandbar's not supposed to be there," sez Squid. That's what the map says. Remember, the one that got (dun dun dun!) replaced? So while Mini-Colin is being Yielded (TAR 5... don't ask) by that sandbar, Reggie and The Ditz are passing him and Reggie's making a run on Theodore. Hey, didn't we just see this last race?
They've got one buoy to go before heading for the line, and they're headed around the last buoy. Tito says Reggie has just taken the lead. Really. Reggie would have to be a complete moron not to make the effort to hang on to it, especially when she has something to prove to the world (and/or Ray) about girls (read: herself). Especially when he's still yelling "You can still do it!"... to Otto. Colin Lite, Mini-Colin, you name it, he's still cheering the kid who just got off the sandbar.
Reggie thinks she's gonna "get Raymundo's attention," and... stops in the middle of the race and jumps into the ocean, while her board Yields Otto. You have got to be kidding me here! Instead of going for a first place finish over Theodore to prove something, she's blocking Otto? Not to mention letting Theodore take the win, and and then she finishes in last place, even though she was first around the final buoy. She's usually the calmer Rocket sib, but this time, she's coming across as a complete moron to me.
Otto just broke his ox again. Sam's saying "It's the tapu, guys! We didn't pay our respects!" Mini-Colin, however, is pointing fingers at something less supernatural: two of his teammates. "[to Squid] You told me to go wide! [to Reggie] And you stopped right in front of me!" This is the equivalent of Guinn's "Oh my god... I hate you" during the "broken" ox task. And what does the Ditz get for telling him that the team is still doing okay? Being called a mug (like Ditz accidentally called himself earlier). Classic Colin meltdown there, folks.
Meanwhile, Ray has a bone to pick with Reggie ("Hey, why did you stop out there?"), but even more so vice versa: "Since when do you care about the team? [imitating Ray] ...all I care about is Otto!" And with that, she abruptly leaves him in a huff. Not quite a Colin meltdown, but more like a Flo meltdown to me...
Nighttime. Good thing this part of New Zealand doesn't have really much in the way of nocturnal wildlife, otherwise, Reggie might be finding herself trying not to get eaten. As it were, she's sitting on a log on a beach, all alone. Misery loves company, and here comes some. It's her dad (rolls eyes).
"New Zealand is the first place to see the sunrise." Enough about that, what we're really here for is to deal with that giant monkey on Reggie's back. Father and daughter are taking their time on this issue, and this time, Ray has realized that her being ignored is what she's really upset about (as indicated by a tear or two rolling down her face, showing how emotional the scene is). Dad even brings up the "like father, like son" thing. It just makes Ray seem sexist, at least in this race...
Anyhow, after the whole "apology for playing favorites and ignoring Reggie" thing plays out, dad sez: "I think you're not the only one who needs to hear that." And I think I'm not the only one who needs to take a mighty leak. Thankfully, time for Nick to plug some more stuff.