by SpiderBraids
Otto's ox isn't broken yet, but his best friend's knee is. So much for that leap of faith, huh, Twister? So, given the situation they got, it's pretty serious. Their lead over Theodore is evaporating fast, and, well, Twister's knee is broken. I guess he has to let Otto pursue the title, right?
Well, right... and wrong. Twist's so totally willing to, but Otto insists on sticking with Twister. Oh yes, and letting Reggie go for the marbles, no ifs, ands, or buts. And he's not kidding. He's putting out his (just about) teenage sister, versus his main competition. Colin Lite explains: "We've all got to finish and I'm the only one who can bring Twister in. You have to go for the team." Er, why don't you think Reg can bring him in? She's pretty good at most of your sports, isn't she?
Right, never mind that, then. Theodore is passing the gang, and (snooze) Reggie is taking off in pursuit. Insert cop car noises here. Insert a rather obvious "Go, Reg! You can do it!" here as well. Yawn. Now, the Squid and the other two are discussing on how to get a ditz with a broken knee to the finish line. The answer to that question requires me to look up the term "fakie" at Klasky Csupo's Rocket Power page... and it means "Riding backwards." So in short, Otto will be riding backwards, and the Twist will be leaning on him. Got that?
We head over to Reggie and Theodore as they're just approaching The Flat Stick Fork. She goes to the right, he goes to the left. You know, this is the type of place Twister would get all confused on which path was the right one, kind of like Brandon/Nicole fixing up a jeepney in Manila (yeah, it's a TAR 5 thing). And coming up to said Fork are... Otto, Twister and Sam. The Fellowship of the Ring they're not. Sam is telling them to go right, with a capital R. So now The Ditz makes a VERY preposterous claim: "In NZ, right is left." Seriously! So the other guys head to the right... Twist heads to the left. D'oh! Who needs Homer Simpson when you got a kid with a small brain like him?
Forget about wasting more time on the longer way around, he has a broken knee (for crying out loud!), and no support from Otto. Colin Guinn once said to a broken ox: "Stay in the field!" Colin Lite says to a broken Ditz: "Dude! If you beef it, we'll lose!" Obvious much? Look like Otto has to bail the Twist out, and he just (as in "only barely") manages to.
We head over to the Amazing Finish Line. And yes, I won't stop with the TAR references until it's over... which should be in the next 5 minutes. And approaching the finish line, Reggie is surprised by Theodore coming straight out of nowhere. I'm half-expecting Theodore to give Reggie a good ol' body check (hey, if you're not gonna play fair, then why not just go the whole dang hog?)... no such luck though, as the two cross at the same time. Again. Another fracking tie. Seriously. And you thought that one tie was unbelievable enough.
And that means Mini-Colin lost, just as he planned it. Sounds like a perfect ending to this race, right? Well, maybe Reggie wrestling the title away from Theodore would seriously improve on it, but nonetheless, that looks like what we're getting.
And now, we're at the JWG awards ceremony. Theodore has been feeling great about winning the Prince whatever title, but first, they have to hand out the winning team's ribbons first. So you're giving the winning person a crown and a winner's medal, and the winning team gets just plain ribbons. Uh-huh, right. You really love the individual, don't you?
Anyways, your winning team is (sighs) Team Rocket. Not those losers (pun intended) from Pokemon, but Otto, Reggie, Squid and Broken Ditz. OK, done giving out the ribbons? Good, time to bring in Theodore.
Theodore won the title "with a new record time", which is kind of weird, since they determine the winner from the amount of wins, not the overall time. Anyways, as he's taking the medal... he sez: "I can't accept this." Dad: "Don't be ridiculous." And now, Theodore admits to taking the shortcut, as shown earlier, and wanna bet it turns out that Dad took the shortcut when he beat Ray? You're right. Chester is complaining to his kid "That shortcut has been in our family since I took it in the first Waikikamukau"... and everyone (everyone who's at the ceremony, that is) is gasping at this point.
So Ray's giddy that he got his vindication, and Theodore is giving Colin Lite the winner's medal. The Colin-hater in me is probably saying "I don't believe it," as the first ever tie in this competition (yes, another one!) results in Colin and Christie... I mean, Otto and Reggie, being co-crowned "The First Prince and Princess of Waikikamukau", which abbreviates to PaPoW, which sounds like the sound of punching a jerk. How cool is that? Don Del Grande sez, tho, on why he only had 99.9% confidence on this ending: "they could have made a case for having, say, just Reggie end up winning, to show all of the girls watching the show that 'we can be better at this than the boys (and their fathers) are'." If that means screwing Otto out of winning, I'm all for it, but I really can't think of anything else that would beat this ending.
Phil's Understudy is taking away Chester's winner's medal and giving it to Ray ("Now you're going to be even more famous around here, mate"), before returning to hand out to the sibs the crown of Waikikamukau. Otto is placing the crown on sister's head, and for RP fans, I'm sure that's a classic image. Tito is too busy getting enthusiastic over vegemite (seriously). The Ditz sez: "You guys lost, but you won. Ray lost a long time ago, but now he wins. Dude, this backwards New Zealand place is rad!" Confused much, Twist? One last woogie (thank god it's the last one), and now, they've returned to the states with awards, and in Tito's case vegemite, in hand.
They can't wait to get back to business: training for next year, making Shore Shack burgers, and, get this, "[introducing] Ocean Shores to the wonders of vegemite." But first, Tito will have to chase a bird that's just taken his spread from him. Again.
OK, all is said and done. Good night!