by SpiderBraids
Enough ranting, as we be at Madame Beatrice's. Sly Duckman reference there? Eliza's dragging her luggage, and looking a lot like someone from China. It's her pulled-back pigtails and big teeth that give the effect. Her luggage gets stuck on some cobblestones. Cue funny shot of her tripping. Anyways, it's 9, she's now in her room at Haversham Hall, unpacking... and guess what? Surprise, Dar's here. Eliza: "You can't be here!" Dar: "Yes, it's a miracle I survived the luggage hold! You should know your bags are not handled with care." Darwin's testing out the other bed in the room, and it's firm, but flexible. Braceface hears the door, and is frantically trying to hide the chimp. The curtains aren't suitable, nor is the other bed, so she shoves her into the wardrobe: "Or are you still quibbling over the 2% difference in our DNA???"
Now that Dar's been taken care of, time to meet her roommate, Sarah Wellington. Snooty chick's setting up lines and rules, showing off her antique stuff like her French perfume, and tells her not to wear her clothes. "No matter how tempting the urge..." She heads for the wardrobe, and Braceface tells Snooty to try her mom's peanut butter cookies. The box is empty. Cue burp from Dar, and you think Sarah won't hear that, Dar?
Cut to the outside. Eliza is sharing Cheese Munchies with a bunch of squirrels at school, and telling them all about Africa, mentioning flying squirrels. Judging from this part, she REALLY wants to make the most of her little gift. Sarah and friends pass, and talk about her, for example, she's been known to bathe in the same places where animals drink. "EWW!" Sarah quips, "Next thing you know, she'll be bringing an animal into my room..." Cue echo cut to Darwin trying on Sarah's perfume ;)
An African diner. The family is over the phone with Braceface. The parents mention that Dar's still missing. Eliza sez that he's probably foraging. Meanwhile, the chimp's busy eating a meat pie and making some comments on peas: "What is this, rabbit poop?" Asked about the background noises, Eliza mentions Sarah. Upon hearing that Eliza's making new friends (and she was wearing headphones and reading a magazine!) Spazz (yeah, that nickname definitely works) takes the phone and promptly yells, "Donnie's now half goat, my hair's half terrier, and we're headed into the abyss, with no chance of teenage interaction!" Hangs up in a huff too. Bitter much?
Dinner at Beatrice's. Eliza is talking about her encounters with animals with the snooty one's friends ("Have you ever been close to a tiger?" "Close enough to pet"). And of course Sarah would notice. Next, some short stubby lady is making her way through the cafeteria line. Turns out to be the chimp, and in a rather snarky music edit, "She's a Lady" plays out in the background. Anyways, Braceface's quite startled to see him at the table, and uses the decorative plant on the table to cover him up, while she continues talking about "the time I swam with dingos, I mean dolphins." (This one I know: it's from ["Hello, Dolphin!"]) Dar shoves his tray into the one opposite from him, and he happens to be across from Sarah. Eliza asks Sarah's friends for more boiled cabbage, and covers Dar up with her tray. Sarah notices a hand wearing a robe with her monogram on it, and finds the chimp wearing the robe. Chimp throws food at Snooty. She throws food at him, and hits someone else.
Next thing you know, everyone is joining in, throwing their mash at each other. In another snarky edit, there's a banner saying "Mind Thy Manners" in the cafeteria. Some woman with a bell ("Food is for eating!") gets a face full of mash, while Sarah and Eliza are busy chasing the chimp. Sarah gets stuffed and splat with food, and the chimp climbs up the wall and pulls down the banner. Some random girl says "This is the best meal we've ever had!" This food fight makes the cake fight from ["Rugrats in Paris"] look like a minor squabble. To paraphrase an ep of Foster's, Eliza's so busted.