The Reed Diamond Obsessiveness Test
Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".
The "submit" button is at the bottom.
% Reed Corrupt is the % to which you are obsessed. % Reed Pure is the % to which you are *not* obsessed. Have fun!
Did you go out and rent Memphis Belle?
Did you sit through the entire length of Daneille Steele's'Full Circle'?
Did you watch Clear and Present Danger just to find him... twoor three times...?
Whenever Kellerman comes on screen, do you feel like cryingbecause he isn't on the show anymore?
Did you rant for days to your friends how Meldrick needed tobe shot for what he did to 'My Mikey'?
Is your only motivation for watching the seventh season the non-existant chance that he might just come back?
Do you find ways to fit song lyrics that you hear on theradio to him and his angst?
Do you subject yourself to watching Danielle Steele movies of theweek just because Reed is in them?
Do you ever type "Reed" and/or "Diamond" into search engines and thenvisit the numerous porn sites that come up, in hopes of finding nekkid pictures of the man?
Do you harbour an unreasonable dislike of Michelle Forbes?
When reading novels, do you look for good parts for Reed?
Can you cite the timeframe during which Reed had his diasthema corrected?
Can you name the episode of Law & Order in which Reed appeared?
Have you actually hung out with Reed, felt a connection to him as anactual human being, yet still find yourself playing these ridiculous,adolescent, obsessive games?
Do you know what Reed smells like?
Would you be horrified if Reed found out you were obsessing like this?
Do you try to find some Reed news every time you go to the computer, no matter what your original reason was?
Do you know his full name?
Do you write poems to Reed on a weekly basis?
When you have free time (or even when you don't) do you look at everysingle picture on the internet you can find that contains Reed Diamond,searching for the "perfect" one that immortilizes his soul?
Do you often marvel at the fact that his initials spell a word (thatwould be Reed Edward Diamond - RED)?
Do you like the season 5 & 6 opening credits just because you get towatch him look up and smirk as his name appears on the screen?
Do you refer to him as a god, or at least god-like?
Do you tell yourself that the age difference between you and himisn't all *THAT* big?
Have you been able to sit through two hours of Tori Spelling with herboob job and her short skirts so you can see him in jeans, riding aroundon a motorcycle?
Have you ever watched the H:LotS ep "Hate Crimes" and been inspired with the thought that the red-haired technition who works thelie-detecter device and Reed would make a good couple...only to realizeminutes into the episode that she's the same actress (Allison Smith) whoplayed his wife in "Full Cirlce?"
Have you ever thought that Michelle Forbes is the luckiest womanalive, having co-starred with both David Duchovny and Reed Diamond?
Is it a reflex to say Diamond any time someone finishes a sentancewith the word read?Example - My friend, "Brenda, stop talking. Do your homework. Read." Me, "Diamond."
Have you gone through every single movie in the local video store insearch for a movie Reed has been in...just in case they might havestored it in the wrong genre.
Has your friend ever commented, "You don't want a diamond ring, youjust want a Diamond"?
Do your friends who have never seen an episode of H:LotS knowexactly who Reed Diamond is, and know all about Detective MikeKellerman?
Have your friends asked you to bring an ep of H:LotS over so theycan finally see the object of your obsession?
Do you subscribe to a news tracker service, selecting "Reed Diamond"as one of your topics?
Every time you hear, "What a Good Boy" do you look up, expecting tosee Reed walk through the door as the song ends?
Do you obsessivly listen to the audiobook "Homicide: A Year on theKilling Streets" over and over again, nearly driving your car off theroad every time Reed says "fuck"?
Do you now only drink Jim Beam when you want to get hammered?
Is 'snarky' a not-so-recent addition to your vocabulary?
Do blue eyes hold new, divine meaning?
Did you ask your spouse to cut their hair really short duringthe fifth season?
Even if you're fatally sea-sick, you have this unexplaineddesire to live on a boat with a bathroom the size of a broomcloset?
Have you tried to find out just how he walks with thatadorable gait?
Do you start your day with a tauquito or taco, have a BLT forlunch, and finish the day off with a shot of Jim Beam?
Do you have selected videos of your favorite Mike Kellermanepisodes that you like to jog to on the treadmill?
Do you lurk around parking lots, waiting for someone to leavetheir car running, so you can take it for a joy ride?
Do you still hold your breath, everytime you watch MikeKellerman say, "I'm aiming right for your head, Luther."
Is your newfound religion based on "Fun is my God?"
Do you watch "Chicago Hope" to catch a glimpse of Eric Stoltz...just because he co-starred with Reed in "Memphis Belle" and played Kellerman's brother Drew?
Do you think it would be a *fabulous* idea if Reed and other MB co-starTate Donovan (also known as Greg Kellerman) made a guest appearance on"Chicago Hope" playing Stoltz's character's brothers?
Does your friends refer to Reed as your "Diamond stud"?
Are you contributing questions to an obsession test...and answering yesto all of them?
Have you read fan fiction starring Mike Kellerman?
Have you written fan fiction starring Mike Kellerman?
Have you started a society to protect Mike Kellerman?
Are you a member of such a society?
Have you named (a) pet(s)/inanimate object(s) after Reed or one of his charcters?
Do you have a webpage focused on Reed or one of his characters?
Do you talk about Reed/his characters as if you know them personally?
Do you base your opinion of other Homicide characters on how they treat Mikey?