Cat Commandments

• Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
  
  
• Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
  
  
• Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
  
  
• Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent.
  
  
• Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
  
  
• Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
  
  
• Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
  
  
• Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.
  
  
• Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
  
  
• Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
  
  
• Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
  
  
• Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
  
  
• Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.
  
  
• Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
  
  
• Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
  
  
• Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
  
  
• Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
  
  
• Thou shall show remorse when being scolded.