SMMH Episode 1

(Opening scene: Dimension Noir, the cavernous home of the Dark Masters. The ominous "Paralyzed" by the Cardigans plays as we zoom in. A sarcophageus opens and Ramses, a bishoenen mummy, walks out, holding his sickle.)

RAMSES-I've waited for milleniums to rule the galaxy. Now that Galaxia's out of the picture, we can go about out business. Now, where did the rest of the guys go?

HYDE'S VOICE-Looking for me?

(We look at the left side of Hyde, which looks perfectly normal. He tilts his glasses up.)

RAMSES-Do you have a plan of attack for our conquest?

HYDE-As a matter of fact, I do.

(He turns around full front, but the left side of his body looks like a reptilian humanoid with claws and midlength burgundy hair.)

HYDE-We infiltrate a city as humans and bring it down from the inside.

(A cloud of smoke appears and Illusion, a Phantom of the Opera-esque sorcerer appears, with his Katana in hand.)

ILLUSION-It sounds like a good idea, but there is one thing we have to consider. The Sailor Scouts.

RAMSES-What the Hell are you talking about?

ILLUSION-I'm talking about those girls who defeated Galaxia. If we're not careful, we'll lose.

STALKER'S VOICE-Girls? This should be easy.

(We pan to Stalker, a Lupen who resembles Ashitare from Fushigi Yuugi. He grabs a severed arm and chews on it.)

HYDE-We need to make a new plan of attack. Wait, where's Alucard?

(A swarm of bats flies out and Alucard appears.)

ALUCARD-I was making my rounds, as usual. So many young women with pure blood, so little time.

RAMSES-We're going to Earth to battle the Sailor Scouts.

ALUCARD-Sailor Scouts?

STALKER-They're the ones who defeated Galaxia. They may look like a bunch of girls in Sailor outfits, but they were powerful enough to stop her.

HYDE-We'll go down to Juuban and enroll in their school. We'll find out their strengths and weaknesses so we can triumph over them.

ILLUSION-We're all agreed. We shall win!

(Serena's High School)
(Serena and the other girls are walking in orderly fashion to an assembly.)

SERENA-Five new students on the same day? That seems a little weird.

RAYE-I don't think it would be, unless they were all siblings.

AMY-According to my calaculations, five different students starting a new day at school at the exact time has the probability of 24,000 to 1!

LITA-Maybe they might be cute boys!

MINA-Let's hope you're right.

(The girls line up single file in the gym for the assembly. Five young men in school uniforms are on stage, along with the principal.)

PRINCIPAL-Settle down. Everyone welcome Nick, Kevin, AJ, Brian and Howie. This is their first day at Juuban Senior High School, so let's make them feel welcome. Assembly dismissed.

(While the principal is speaking, Mina looks across the room at Howie. He looks at her too and smiles. Cut to the school courtyard.)

SERENA-Oh, they were so cute!

MINA-Oh yes, especially Howie! Didn't you just love his silky black hair?

Raye-Pardon me, Serena, but what happened to Darien?

AMY-Oh no, here we go again.

SERENA-Butt out, squidlips! Just because I say a guy is cute doesn't mean I'm going to leave Darien!

(Luna walks up towards her.)

LUNA-Fighting again? I thought we were all past that.

SERENA-Luna, I would like it if you told Miss Noseybones over there that I wasn't thinking of cheating on Darien!

RAYE-Looked like to to me.

AMY-Look, why don't we just stop fighting? We were planning to see a movie today anyway.

LITA-I heard about this great monster movie playing over at the Cinemark. Why don't we watch it? Maybe we'll bump into one of those cute guys!

AMY-Are you sure you want to see such a scary movie?

SERENA-Amy, it's just pretend! Not like those monsters we used to fight.

LITA-So it's agreed. Off to the movie! I heard this had some awesome special effects.

RAYE-I know what you mean. The paper said this was better than Titanic!

LITA-Oh, come on Raye, nothing's better than Titanic!

SERENA-Well, at least Raye's not mad at ME.

AMY-Let's just go already!

(Nick, Kevin, AJ, Brian and Howie watch the girls walk to the theater.)

AJ-Beautiful girls. It's a shame we can't find the much-talked about Sailor Scouts.

KEVIN-What if they WERE the Sailor Scouts?

NICK-Oh, come on. If these girls were warriors, they wouldn't be wasting their time gossiping about boys and hanging out.

HOWIE-Yes, but I feel that it may be a cover. We have to catch these girls off guard. If they're the Sailor Scouts, they'll show their true selves and fight.

NICK-Speaking of true selves, I'll give those girls a welcome they'll never forget.

COMMERCIAL BREAK!