| Katty | Welcome to USA vs JAP, the show where we, the judges, use all of our biases to determine which version of a paticular show is better. Today's episode is a contest between Dragon Ball Z and DragonBaru Zetto. |
| Tsuyama | Contest? You mean we're giving the Dub a chance? |
| Katty | Yes. We have to be fair, as much as we hate it. Joining us today is Son Gokuu of the Original DragonBaru Zetto, and his opponent, Dub-Goku. Our first catagory is attacks. |
| Dub-Goku | Is this the part where we blow things to bits? |
| Gokuu | Yes, you idiot. |
| Dub-Goku | There's no need to get personal. |
| Katty | Okay, give your favorite attack and blow each other up. |
| Tsuyama | I get to judge! I get to judge!! |
| Dub-Goku | Spirit Bomb! |
| Gokuu | Was that supposed to hurt? My turn. Genki Dama! (Dub-Goku is vaporized.) |
| Tsuyama | Well, since Dub-Goku has died... I mean, been sent to the next dimention, that means that Gokuu wins by default! Like I expected. |
| Gokuu | Yess! Super Saiyajin, Son Gokuu da!! Yatta! (Does V for Victory sign) |
| Tsuyama | And now our next catagory, Singing Voices! |
| Vejita | Does that mean I get to sing? |
| Dub-Vegeta | Oh, please, no. |
| Tsuyama | (starry eyed) Sing all you like, Vejita-sama.... |
| Dub-Vegeta | I think I'm going to be sick. |
| Katty | Stop complaining, and sing already. |
| Dub-Vegeta | Uh... Row, row, row, your boat... (Giant windmill falls on Dub-Vegeta) |
| Tsuyama | Your turn, Vejita-sama... |
| Vejita | ...Sweet Lovely Midnight... |
| K&T | Ah.... |
| Katty | I think it's clear who won that round. |
| Dub-Vegeta | (After getting the windmill off) One word: favoritism. |
| Tsuyama | Got that right! |
| Katty | Next catagory.... Injuries, Bad Guy Version! |
| Tsuyama | Freiza and Dub-Freiza go head to head--wound! |
| Dub-Freiza | Your head-wound's bigger than my head-wound! |
| Freiza | Yeah, well you never actually did any fighting in the Dub! |
| Katty | Well, I guess we know who won this round.... |
| Tsuyama | Now for the Good Guy Version of the Injuries round. |
| Piccolo | Which, of course, I'll win. |
| Dub-Piccolo | In your dreams, dork-face. We've both been sent to the next dimention. |
| Piccolo | I wasn't sent to the next dimention. I *died*. |
| Dub-Piccolo | Nobody *died* in the Dub! That's not fair! Special Beam Canon! (Piccolo is fried.) |
| Tsuyama | And so Piccolo has the better injuries yet again! |
| Katty | Oh, that's gotta smart. Next catagory, Names! |
| Dub-Krillin | What do you mean, names? We basically have the same names. |
| Tsuyama | Yeah. Except for you and Radditsu. And since he's dead... |
| Kuririn | Oh, I get it. We're comparing Dub-Krillin's name to mine? |
| Dub-Krillin | Yeah. Hey, I thought your name was Kulilin. |
| Kuririn | Is that L as in Rome or R as in London..? |
| Tsuyama | No fighting, boys... |
| Katty | Okay. Now guys, say your name for the readers. |
| Dub-Krillin | My name is Krillin'. |
| Kuririn | Yeah, we know your name is krilling you, but what is it? (Tsuyama laughs) |
| Katty | Kuririn, no puns, okay? |
| Kuririn | Gomen nasai. My name is Kuririn. Notice how smoothly it rolls off your tongue. |
| Dub-Krillin | No fair trying to influence the judges! |
| Kuririn | Who's trying? |
| K&T | ...Kuririn...Kuririn...Kuririn... |
| Katty | Rolls off the tongue nicely, doesn't it? |
| Tsuyama | Naturally. |
| Katty | Now for the next round, Speaking Voices! |
| Tsuyama | Now, say your name. |
| Dub-Freiza | This is Captain Katheryn Janeway of the Starship...oops, wrong show. |
| Freiza | I knew you were a woman all along!! |
| Katty | Okaaay... Let's just skip this round and move onto the next. |
| Tsuyama | What's the next round? |
| Katty | Best Music. |
| Tsuyama | I wonder who'll win.... |
| (The original Dub opening for DragonBall Z plays: "Dragon Dragon DragonBall Z!") | |
| Katty | Okay, that's enough of that! |
| ("Cha-la Head-cha-la" begins playing: "CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA nani ga okite mo kibun wa henoheno kappa CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA mune ga pachipachi suru hodo sawagu genkidama...Sparking!") | |
| K&T | (Singing) Cha-la Head-cha-la! |
| Gokuu | That was easy. |
| Dub-Gohan | I think the Dub has a pretty good chance this time! |
| Katty | Let's get Vejita-sama to sing to us again! |
| Tsuyama | I second that motion. |
| Dub-Gohan | Hey, what's the score? |
| Katty | We'll let's see. The catagories were: Attacks, Singing Voices, Bad Guy Injuries, Good Guy Injuries, Names, Speaking Voices, and Best Music... And the Original totally swept the Dub under the rug. |
| Tsuyama | Naturally. Now, let's go find Vejita-sama.... |
| Katty | Right. |
| K&T | Vejita-sama.... |
| Katty | Let's welcome our guest judge, Becky! |
| Becky | Hi-ee! Today is a contest between Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon and Sailor Moon. Down with DiC! (Gives a thumbs down sign.) |
| Tsuyama | I wonder who'll win? |
| Dub-Darien | With their biases, we don't have a chance. |
| On to USA vs. JAP #2 |