New York, NY-Camilla Parker-Bowles, famous for breathing the same air as Princes Charles and nothing else, was recently feted by New York's social elite this week, although no one at the ritzy affair could divine why.
"She has an entourage that would put Michael Jackson's to shame," ventured media tycoon Morton Zuckerman, who was present. "And, as everyone in high scoiety knows, the importance of a person is not measured so much in actual achievement as in how many useless, parasitic sycophants that attach themselves to you."
"Doesn't she write childrens' books?", asked Lady Brooke Astor. "No, wait. I'm thinking of Fergie. Well, is it important? I mean, you cannot reasonably expect everyone in society circles to do something. I mean, look at me, darling."
The 52 year old divorcee first reached vapid tabloid prominence in 1975 when it was revealed that she was a close acquaintance of Prince Charles. Since then, she has embarked on a whirlwind 20 nation "I Know Charlie and You Probably Don't" tour that has left many socialites alternately dazzled and puzzled.
The world's most celebrated hangeron disembarked from her private jet at Kennedy International and gave air kisses to American soil in a British gesture of "Let's Let Bygones be bygones."
The high society luncheon attracted so much idle curiosity that the perimeter of the crumbling Astor Hotel was surrounded three-deep by throngs of worshippers.
"Oh my God," gushed and excited Alyssa Genovese, a 16 year old aspiring groupie, "she is, like, such an inspiration to me. I used to think that Gerri Hall and Jackie O were all that for groupies, then comes Camilla Parker-Bowels."
"Who gives a shit who she is?", said actor Michael Douglas. "The thing to remember here is that she knows the famous and looks like she belongs among us."
The celebrated Bowles is working on her next project, which is to be seen with Spain's King Juan Carlos, with perhaps another messy, high profile divorce, resulting in an unprecedented second hyphen.
"The next tour," promises Bowles's social secretary Mary Lytton-Smythe, "will break all luncheon check records."