Local Group Poised on Local Stardom Announce Breakup.

Orlando, FLA-Twelve days after being offered a limited, one track contract that seemed to promise the local group "local superstardom", area band Pierced Crumpet has announced their breakup. "In the beginning, it was major coolness, dig? This guy from Duke's Dog Records saw our last gig at the Homecoming Dance and offered us $1,000 to lay down a demo of our only song, 'Pierced Cowboys'," reminisced the band's frontman, Colin Cancer, aka Jeffrey Aykroyd in a press conference that consisted of the editor of the high school paper and the school nurse, a known gossip. "Then artistic pressures began to come up, driving us on our own separate ways to solo careers. I mean, we're almost out of high school, man. It's time to grow up and find ourselves as artists."

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