This interview was conducted by Emma-O Bile after Shelflife repeatedly made threats against her life if she did not do so on August 22, 1998.

Bile: Why is your name Shelflife?

Matt: Why not?....

Bile: Thats your answer?! It's not even an answer it's a question!!

Bonnie: Settle down.

Matt: Yeah here..take a hit.

Bile: No thanks. So how about it?

Miker: How 'bout what?

Bile: Please stop answering my questions with questions! Why is your name Shelflife and why is it only one word?

Josh: Your dumb.

Bile: Fuck you asshole.

Bonnie: Shut up Josh!-Gawsh. Look, Shelflife in the sober world is the time until something of use becomes worthless and basically hasta be destroyed.

Bile: I think it's stupid. It just makes me think of twinkies.

Matt: Hey fuck you and FUCK TWINKIES!!!!

Bonnie: Shut up Matt! Now let me finish answering your question-shit. So anyhoo the deal is that we think a "shelf life" also applies to things like books or even a life itself.

Bile: So in other words, you think that at some point in a persons life they can become utterly useless?

Miker: Fuck yeah!

Bile: That's horrible.

Josh: Hey bite me!

Bile: Fuck you! Dick.

Bonnie: Josh-would ya?!-Fuck.

Miker: Next question!

Bile: I also asked why is it only one word?

Matt: Oh thats just cuz theres some other band called Shelf Life but with two words.

Bile: Oh yeah I heard them..they suck!

Miker: Next question!

Blie: So, how do you feel about being deemed the greatest Burlesque band to ever come outta Rosemead?

Matt: Well you see, it's really quite simple. We ARE...THEE GREATEST.. Burlesque band EVER...to come outta Rosemead.

Bile: But your just a stupid punk band!..You know that?..Right?

Miker: Next question!

Bile: AHH whatever, look are we done here or what?

Bonnie: NO!! not until I've said the part bout how we are not what you think! We know no more than anyone else, we just like to talk mad shit and hit things- so either take interest or don't. Regardless though, through our existence we aim to introduce the next breed of warmongerish types to an onslaught of love, compassion, and a heapin' helpin' of good 'ol fashion Open Mindedness so that free thinking can become a larger part of reality instead of just remaining in those books you never have the time to read. So just watch the fuck out cuz this Shelflife's for you!

Bile: Ahh yeah- thats great- look, you know I do have one more question. For you Josh- I think you're pretty HOT! You wanna go get some drinks?

Josh: Oh HELL YEAH!!

Shelflife: Yeah- Woo hoo!

Miker: Right on Josh!

Bonnie: You go boy!

Bile: Thanks guys. Say are you sure you want me to print this?

Matt: Why? Do you think maybe you should'nt?

Bile: Nah, I'm sure it'll go over real well.

Miker: Cool.

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