His throat ached and he found it hard to breathe. 'Rahne!' he thought with anguish. Another wave of grief struck him. He missed her so much... They were just begining to discover each other. Now she was gone forever. He fought tears, and felt like he would die from the pain in his throat and chest. He was surprised he could swallow at all with the lump in his throat. James looked at him with eyes of understanding. Rictor knew that the Apache had lost his brother and then every single one of his people, and had sort of offered to talk if Rictor wanted. Rictor didn't want to talk, yet he did at the same time. He felt consumed with anger over what had happened. He knew Warpath was going through the same, but pride or some sense of machismo kept him from asking for help or accepting any. He probably would have talked to Boomer, but she was mostly with Sam now and it hurt him to see her. He had told her his dreams and come back with dreams that were quite literaly dead. It hurt his pride. That plus it hurt to see her and Sam so in love and happy. She had tried in a her roundabout way of pretending she didn't care to get him to talk, but he had in his gruff tough guy voice said he was fine. They could tell what the other was really feeling when they looked into each others eyes.

Siryn felt like an outsider here. Boomer was cool with her, and Sam was friendly. James was quietly curteous and Elena was kind and open when she wasn't complaining, but she still felt like she wasn't part of what was going on here. She was the oldest. So many horrible things had happened to her. She didn't like thinking about that, but sometimes she couldn't help it. Sometimes she thought that she had seen more of the cruelties of the world than the others, but then she saw the anger and pain in James eyes, the anguish in the new guy Rictor's, or the hidden sadness that was in Elena's eyes when she thought no one was looking. They were all suffering and tortured people. Because of all they had gone through it was hard for them to reach out to each other. Siryn realised that they were all alone in themselves. She was the oldest, so she felt responsible for changing that. Sam was very amiable and got along with them all, but he couldn't make them connect. He didn't know how to make them a close-knit group. Cable seemed to be waiting for them to learn how to do this for themselves. She wanted to try. She felt that she needed to feel that she could be accepted. She decided that she would reach out to Boomer first. According to what she had read, Boomer had been a prostitute, so she should understan a lot of the horrors Siryn had gone through.

Feral watched the latino pretty-boy Rictor from her corner of the training room. He was fast and furious in the way he dispatched the programs he set against himself. She saw an anger boiling inside him a lot like the anger inside the Indian, but different, hotter. She wondered idly if he'd spar with her the way the Indian sometimes agreed to. James was strong and fast, so was she. This other guy, Julio/Rictor, was fierce. He was always angry and didn't have the control that the other had gained after long practice. This one was a hothead. She licked her claws as she pondered testing him, trying to find if his anger would make him rash and dumb in battle. If it did she'd enjoy ripping the pretty-boy apart. If not, well he would be a worthy oponent, and he was good to look at besides.

James Proudstar, AKA Warpath, gave a sigh in frustration. So far Cable's efforts to discover the killer or killers of his people had uncovered nothing. He was filled with impatience and the burning need to put the souls of his people to rest by finding their killer and making whoever it was pay. Boomer and Cannonball were very friendly to him, and he felt that with time they could become close friends. This team was fighting for something important. The Hellions battles weren't for a noble cause. He felt that if and when he took care of his task in setting his life to rights he might find a cause in this team and what they fought for. In many ways they were like him, and that helped him overlook the differences between them. The girl Siryn seemed so sad and alone sometimes that he wanted to help her. Elena took to him like a younger sister, and seemed to have a confidence in him that she shared with none of the others. It bothered him a little when he thought about it, because maybe it was her powers of intuition that led her to take to him and he wondered what she saw in him. The one who seemed most like him was Rictor. He was angry. Anger had led him to taking the name Warpath. Anger had led him to the team he felt he could one day belong to. It seemed that anger could be good sometimes. James wanted to share that thought with Rictor, that anger could give you a cause, lead you to something good if you weren't too blind, but he couldn't. He still held on to anger, but he could feel inner peace beyond it, just barely out of reach. Once the ghosts of his people were quieted, he would find it. Maybe that potential was what Elena saw in him. He paced, anxious for the day he would find his peace.

Cannonball watched his friends and teammates from the monitor room. He saw James sitting and meditating out in the hot sun. He looked like he could be communing with the spirits of his people who had lived and died where X-Force now made their home. They had all been wiped out save for James. I felt strange to be living on what sometimes felt like the grave of an entire people. Cannonball wanted to find who could commit such an atrocity, but his quiet queries of Cable led him to the knowledge that nothing had been found as yet. Domino was in the gymnasium, working on some acrobatic moves that were amazing to watch. She was a mystery. The only one who really knew anything about her was Cable. She was smart, canny. They trusted her because she stuck with them when Cable was busy as he so often was. Sam sometimes wondered if Cable was doing more than just procuring equipment and information. Elena was in the mess hall, with a juice pack in one hand and her head on a table. Sam smiled. The Puertorican girl was strange and funny. Sometimes she seemed full of optimistic energy, others she was tired and complained a lot. She said that it was a characteristic of her island, to complain and talk a lot. She seemed to like acting the fatalist, and sometimes she even believed herself. Cable had told him that she was a genius who graduated High School at 15 and left her island home a two years later almost completing a bachelors degree. He hinted at a bad family situation that explained the sadness that Elena sometimes reflected and the resurguing cinicism in her speech. Cable knew a lot about her, but had apparently promised to keep most of it secret, so none of them would know more about what her life had been like unless she decided to tell them. Tabitha, his wonderfull girlfriend, wandered the halls snapping her gum and playing with a few time bombs. She was an incredibly complex person hiding behind a bubble-headed facade that she was only begining to let him glimpse past. She was hurting because of Rictor. She tried to hide it, but she was. He was her first friend, and he had trusted her more than anyone else. It was she that he told his plans to run away to Genosha too. She hadn't believed him, but he told her. Now that Rahne was gone forever, tears came to Sam's eyes as he thought about that sweet shy girl that they had all loved gone, Rictor refused to talk to her.

Sam watched Siryn pace around in the file room. She looked like she was trying to get up the courage to do something. Her face was set in this determined look, but still she just paced, thinking. He barely knew Siryn. She was hard to reach out to. She seemed to enclose herself up in the pain of her past, not realising that they had all suffered and would understand her torment. She was afraid to open up maybe, to share her pain with others and share their pain as well. She was probably tired of hurting. They all were. He was tired of hurting over Doug, over Warlock, and now over Rahne. Over all the bad descision and mistakes he had made. Over leaving his family to become an outlaw with X-Force, and so many other things. Some things you couldn't help. Death was one of those. Doug and Rahne were destroyed by the same man... If it weren't for Hodge she wouldn't have had to stay in Genosha. He pressed his fists to his eyes to keep tears from spilling out. He wanted to sob, but he knew he had to be strong. Rahney... She was like a little sister to him. She had had a crush on him a long time ago. She was so sweet and innocent. He pushed back his chair and went to his quarters, where he wouldn't have to worry about anyone coming in and seeing his grief.

Boomer finally talked herself into trying to talk to Ric. She acted like she didn't care if he talked to her or not, because she was so scared that he would see her weakness. She didn't want anyone thinking she was weak and scared, but Ric especialy. She wasn't sure why, but it was always like that with him. Maybe it was the way he acted so tough, like nothing could hurt him. They'd come to realize that each of them hid behind a false front, a facade to hide their true selves, but they hadn't progressed beyond that realization. But now he was hurting. It was eating him up inside but he still tried to act tough. She couldn't stand to see him like that. He was her first friend. She was wringing her hands as she walked into the training room and saw him destroying the drones and constructs that launched themselves at him.

Feral saw the little peroxide sparkler come in, and could smell he anxiety. Blondie tried to hide it, but she was the weakest one on the team. Sam was a milksop, but he could take things without complaint. Siryn was tough and tired under he apparent vulnerability. Elena didn't take nothing from no one. Warpath was a furnace of anger and determination. Rictor, the new guy, he was furious and full of fire. Boomer was a little girl hiding inside a false front. She would never last in the Morlock tunnels. She was flawed, weak, vulnerable. Feral hated her for her weakness. She didn't really like anyone, except maybe Cable who was iron beneath that old man exterior, but she hated Boomer for her weakness. They all had some inner strength to support them except for her. She should be culled from the flock. Killed, eliminated. There was no place for the weak in the world, that's what Feral thought. Her tail lashed angrily behind her as she watched her approach the latin shaker.

"Ric?" Rictor turned to face Tabitha. His eyes were hard and angry. "Ric are you ok?" "Ok? I know blondes are supossed to be dumb, but you are stupider than I thought possible if you think that I'm ok after losing... Rahne..." his eyes filled with anguish and he turned to smash a drone with his fists and vibro-powers. "I know it hurts. She was the best one of us practically. We've lost so many now, Ric. I just want you to be able to talk to me. You aren't alone in your pain." Even Boomer was surprised at the depth and feeling in her words. Rictor was quiet for a moment. "I am alone," he said at last. "You wouldn't even go with me to Genosha, Boomer, and we were friends. Maybe..." "Maybe if I had been there she'd be alive?" said Boomer with a voice that was cracking. "I thought that too," she said in anguish. For a moment it seemed that he was going to reach out to her, but then he turned his back to her. "Maybe you should feel that way," he said coldly. With a sob, Boomer ran from the room.

"You are a real cabrón," said Elena angrily. She had been walking past in the hall when Boomer came out. She looked over and saw Feral in the corner. "Get you sadistic little butt out of here, gata. I'm pissed and would like to talk with the big latino boy from Mejico," her last words were dripping with sarcasm. Feral hissed at her. "What'cha gonna do with that cast on yer arm, nenita," she taunted. "My feet are fine, and I can use them to put your tail in a cast if you don't quit with the threatening." Whispered so that only she could hear, she added: "I'm not going to go soft no matter how beat up I get. I either fight or I die, si?" With another hiss Feral left the room, glaring at Elena. As soon as she was gone Elena turned and hit Rictor in the jaw. He grabbed her fist and twisted her arm, putting her on tiptoes. "Don't mess with me, girl. You may think you're something, but you don't know who you're dealing with." "Look who's talking about ego. I don't know anything about you, except that I don't like you. You are so @#$%^&*! arrogant that you think you are the only one hurting here. The Sparkler, no matter how strange that girl is, was your friend. 'Course you can't expect a latin man to care about any feelings besides his own now can you?" Her words taunted him. "You are full of bitterness, take it elsewhere." "Yeah, you are bitter enough as it is right?" He let her arm go. "I don't normaly hit girls, but for you I may make an exception. I loved Rahne." "So you'll go around hurting her friends in honor of her memory. You really are a sick..." "Shutup!" he yelled cutting her off. "You don't understand you don't know her." "I know what it's like to lose someone you love. It doesn't make it better to hurt anyone. You know that, I think, but don't care. You want everyone else to hurt the way you do because you are selfish." "Why are you attacking me? I don't even know you!" "If you did know me you'd have something to fling in my face and get rid of me wouldn't you? But you don't know me just like you don't know Siryn or Feral. Siryn can't help you because your problem is you latino temper. Feral wouldn't help you even if she could. That leaves only me.

He laughed a harsh and cruel laugh. "You are helping me?" "You're right. I should know enough about latin men to have figured out that no one can help them. Puerto Ricans aren't the same as mexicans, but I guess all of you sad excuses for men are the same. You are so &*@#$%^ pathetic that I can't even believe it! If you had half a brain you'd be quietly grieving somewhere or taking the news of this chicas death to her parents if she has any. But no! Tienes que ponerte que si con la venganza! As if she would want revenge! She died for her cause from what I heard you say. If you ever really cared for her you'd fight her fight now that she can't. But you can't ever love anyone but yourself can you? You never loved her if you didn't know her well enough to know that she wouldn't want this from you. No girl would!" He grew more livid at every word she said. His face was almost purple by the time she finished and his clenched fists shook violently at his sides. He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and lifted her onto tiptoes in front of him, her face just inches from his. "Don't you dare @#$%^&*! tell me that I didn't love her!! I don't know @#$% about you, but you don't look like the type who knows love very well in the first place. You a cruel tempered little hija de puta with the arrogance to think that you can make a difference. You say I'm lashing out, but your snobbish arrogance and high handedness means you are lashing out at me because I represent some kind of stereotype to you!" He flung her from him. She hit the floor hard and with a cry. She felt everything start to vibrate around her. "Don't condescend me!! You think you may be better than me, but your cruel actions here make you worse than I could ever be!" She had bit her lip so hard to keep from screaming as she felt the bones inside her cast unset from the vibrations. He saw the blood trickle down her chin and suddenly realized what he was doing. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his eyes filled with horror.

He ran out, but she didn't notice in her agony. But it wasn't her arm, her back, her shoulders, or her torn lip that hurt the most. Her agony came from inside, for his words rang of truth and all she was and had become, all she had been running from came crashing home. She sobbed pityfully on the floor so sorry. She had done the same thing he had been doing and arrongantly missed the signs. She had been keeping this hate inside for so long, and now it manifested itself in her cruel treatment of a guy she didn't even know! She hated herself. Before she blanked out, she swore to herself she'd explain to him and apologize. It was a blow to pride, but she'd kill all her pride if it meant saving her soul.

Next: Healing... and Elena's past