23 yrs ago my mother was young until she got old when she was 42 after she had that brain surgery I fed her something with a spoon right after leaving the emergency room several floors below their sperm still sticky on my thighs the face of that cop in the car beside us staring straight ahead and I wonder now if they really had a gun if they would've shot me had I jumped out at that traffic light as they threatened to I doubt it but safety was so close I doubted that too and waited too long like mom did for me that day to feed her supper as if nothing unusual had recently happened Function rain has its own reasons at 12:57 a.m., one last cigarette, I'll probably quit tomorrow, or the next day, anyway. wednesday it will be autumn again, seems that comes around every year or so, seems like all the seasons are cold here. when I lived in phoenix all the seasons were hot. the women all wore fur coats when the temperature dropped to 60. here people don't wear coats. they wear attitudes instead, like, "I'm too cool to wear a coat." then they rub their hands together. blowing on them, saying, "boy, it's a cold one." no shit. people here are crazy, but rain's good to sleep by anywhere where is it we drown? offshore where your tongue meets my thigh the water's deep. you let down the ladder of your hair: I climb upward into the depths of you