The Stag
.  
Hal Hamilton and friends went out, early Wednesday night,
 Doing all the stag routines, when it broke into a fight.
 Things had started quietly, in the Police Athletic Club,
 When all decided it was time, to find another pub. 
.
They staggered South on Main Street, when they came to Number Five,
Went inside to watch the show, naked dancers live.
 Hal was quickly seated, at a choice spot for the show,
 In a place that has been nicknamed, Gynaecology Row.
 .
They filled him full of shooters, sixteen I've been told,
Hal's legs were getting rubbery, any second they could fold.
When a buddy of the bouncer, gout soundly out of hand,
His challenges and insults, were drowning out the band.
.
This stupid drunk kept pushing, members of this crew,
 When his challenge was accepted, it was more than he could chew.
The bouncer moved in quickly, to drag the two apart,
 Hal got up to check it out, he did not see it start. 
.
He tapped the bouncer's shoulder, which was solid as a rock,
 Who spun around and threw a punch, and really cleaned Hal's clock.
 His nose then plain exploded, it was pushed off to one side,
 Oh won't he be a sight to see, for his pretty blushing bride.
 .
His wedding day is two days hence, to be held on Saturday,
 The hangover should be gone by then, the black eyes they will stay.
 Now how to hide the photos, and the look of a racoon,
 He could always wear a paper bag, and become the Unknown Groom! 
.
PC 664 T.J. Gowdyk   89­06­01  (67)

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