The Ballad of Wounded Bum

Another gangland shooting, in Vancouver here last week,

One victim on his way to hell, one with a wounded cheek.

His lower set of cheeks were shot, to VGH he had to go,

To patch the bullet damage, he was limping kind of slow.

.

Enter now our hero, Shawn Coady was assigned,

To guard this wounded victim, with a hole in his behind.

Says victim to Shawn Coady, to the bathroom I am bound,

No need to be too worried, he could barely move around.

.

Minutes passed, still no sign, of the guy with wounded butt,

Shawn got a sinking feeling, deep down in his gut.

Where could the guy have gone to, with gown open up the back,

-Barefeet slapping on the floor, he should leave a bloody track.

.

Oh Sergeant come and help me, bring lots of friends along,

'Cause the man that I am guarding, seems to be quite gone.

The search began in earnest, to find that missing guy,

So the shooters would not send him, to face his last goodbye.

.

Frantically they looked for him, searching high and low,

When in came a short question, from a Rent-A-Cop below.

Perchance, would you be missing, a man with wounded ass,

He is standing in the lobby, by the gift shop window glass.

.

He wandered down unaided, eleven flights of stairs,

I have him here in custody, if anybody cares.

So Shawn now owes a thank you, a bottle, and then some,

To the VGH Security, the man who saved HIS bum.

.

PC 664 T.J. Gowdyk 95-02-27 (120)