SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 05, 1998 MEETING #133
Held at the home of JOHN ENRIGHT VILLAGE OF LEONE -- Cultural Center of Tutuila
Present:
JOHN ENRIGHT / KATHLEEN KOLHOFF / TERI HUNKIN / DAVID HERDRICH / LESLIE WOOD / TAU HUNKIN / BETTY HERDRICH / JONATHAN ISAAK / Miss FISAGA KOLHOFF / Master Liam Enright / Master Cody Wood
Kitchen Conference:
Pre-meeting banter in John's kitchen. Hours and hours went by. Days. Years. Eons. Ok, not eons. But the secretary was right on time. Her time. LAU (Late as usual)
Tau admitted that he had been doing research on photo I.D.s which were found on a table at the Election Office. Mug shots were passed around and discussed. Some were disgusting. As the ranking officer of the moment, Kathleen asked all and sundry to move to the "parlor" for the really impressive gossip. John didn't know he had a parlor.
It was time to read the minutes for the insane. John said the secretary captured the insanity of the meeting. KK offered: "It's nice to know how insane we can be at least once a month". John entertained a motion to extend a Merry Christmas to everyone. In case he forgets.
KK seriously objected to Fisaga's name being in the August minutes. After all, Fisaga was in Maine at the time. FIRE THE SECRETARY.
Treasurer's Report:
Treasurer had a report but can't remember what it was. She wanted to know if we had a problem with that. John said that he had $300.00 in one of his orifices, but he forgot which orifice. Treasurer said that she would do an orifice check later. Tau wanted to know where the rubber gloves were. Tau gave us a detailed description of placing a hose into a bloated cow. Leslie had alfallfa nightmares. Tau may be the first agrarian terrorist.
He reminded us to "make sure that the cow didn't blow first" (seeing as how one end of the hose is in your mouth and the other is in the cow's backside). Kathleen thought it was another fine T-shirt waiting to happen.
Betty said that the T-shirt would be even better in Samoan. David said it's probably two pages long in Samoan. Leslie asked Tau to Please Stop Now. He continued to explain cow innards.
Oh and by the way -- it's OCTOBER and DUES and DUE. Per Leslie, we're still gonna do dues.
We miss Marisa. (Or maybe we Maris Missa?) She should have been here for the cow story. She is hiking with her family at Massacre Bay, and probably won't be reading today.
OLD BUSINESS
KK had a major report for us but first Leslie wanted to know if John had heard from Kilali Alailima. Kilali was going to spearhead John Kneubuhl's celebration in Apia. No word as yet.
NEW BUSINESS
We are buying rubles now. KK has been watching the market closely. No serious damage with the drop in rubles. We're staying out of the Asian market for the time being. John said that we needed to move on the future.
Bill Legalley is now on the Web. Carol Avis has a web site {page} with Si'uleo and is adding stuff all the time. We have had 450 hits on our "Si'uleo" page thus far. We heard from Kani Ripley this morning. And a cool message from Bill about being connected.
To Bill in Gotham City: We miss your face. And we know the college prez here ... Still interested in a job?
To Kani: Come back.
To Carol: What's it REALLY like down unda? Do the women glow and the men thunda? (Apologies to TOTO) Come back glowing.
Si'uleo's website will include Leslie's tapa in the future. And John has a 500,000 word piece he wants Kathleen to keystroke in. Because slave labor is back in fashion.
Tau wants to know how he can get his music onto the Si'uleo page? He plays in front of the computer, but nothing happens. Lots of techno-stuff here. Dave and KK are the resident experts.
We want to go public with this: LEONE IS THE CENTER OF THE WORLD! Well, at least the cultural center of Tutuila. Leone is the major source of mixed nuts. Monica said we could get through to Bill. John figures we are in need of a Bill replacement. He volunteered. John likes big hair.
Any more business? Monkey or otherwise?
John said that he applied to SEAPAC for a grant for Si'uleo. Len Lohman at Pacific Products will assist him in praying to the SEAPAC gods. John relayed a sad story about the beauracracy which has infested SEAPAC. He got the grant in on time, but he used the "OLD FORMS" (per SEAPAC). Anyway, it was all done in Si'uleo's good name. John keeps that track record current. 0 for 5. Or something like that. Secretary never was good at stats.
Leslie said she needed a good flea remedy. Well hey, if you put the dog in the water long enough, the fleas will drown. John favors rock weights. From his neck of the woods, these are know as cement shoes.
READERS
1. Jonathan (New Zealand was very good to him, but the way) Jonathan is in his 3rd re-write of a children's book: A DAY IN THE ATTIC. This reading was historic, since it was our first Multi-Media event. Jonathan read while Leslie turned the pages and we gazed at the book's illustrations. John turned on the autopsy lights so we could get a better look.
Someone wanted to know if John ever lost a thought, and then retrieved it while he was asleep. John said no, once it's lost, it's gone for good. John admitted that he does prick his finger once in a while to write in blood when he thinks he is going to forget something REALLY important. KK wanted to know if he had any blood left.
2. Kathleen Kolhoff for Bill Legalley
*Corner of San Jacinto (Bill is in Houston now)
*Urban Warrior
John says you must come home now (Bill Bailey). Leslie is still pissed that you moved. John moved that Bill come home. Everyone seconded, thirded, fourthed and fifthed.
3. John Enright also read "Edge-nicity" and "Notes on a Pad in a Cabin".
Tau went metaphysical on us. We're not sure where he is now. Leslie said that Walt Whitman was kind of a poetic Euel Gibbons.
And a word for the wise: "if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space:
MINUTES FOR THE OCTOBER MEETING ARE SOMEWHERE ON KATHLEEN'S DESK OR IN HER BRIEFCASE OR THE DOG ATE THEM OR SOMETHING. THEY WILL BE ADDED LATER.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1998 -- MEETING #135
HELD AT THE HOME OF JOHN ENRIGHT, VILLAGE OF LEONE, CULTURAL CENTER OF TUTUILA
PRESENT: JOHN ENRIGHT / KATHLEEN KOLHOFF / TERI HUNKIN / DOTSY KNEUBUHL / LESLIE WOOD / TAU HUNKIN / MARISA DeWEES / JONATHAN ISAAK / CLARA REID / DAVID HERDRICH / BETTY HERDRICH / Miss FISAGA KOLHOFF / Master CODY WOOD / GUESTS: DANNY McMULLIN / LEE McCALL
Writer's Pow Wow convened in the living room of the cultural center of Tutuila. The kitchen was abandoned in favor of comfortable chairs. Clara Reid was the first person to use the M word. We try not to say Monica but someone always slips. There are therapy groups for impulsive Lewinsky-droppers.
Dotsy reminded us that she once pet (petted?) a dog she used to know. John forgot to invite the "SeaBees" he has been working with all week. One of them was "real buff" according to John. This alone would have been a great reason to invite him to the writer's group.
Motion was made to give the old minutes one Malo. Two Malos. 3 Malos. Se lava. Minutes were pased, along with other bodily reminders that there is better living with chemistry.
TREASURER'S REPORT
We have $80.00 more than we did the last time we asked. Treasurer is hoping to buy a house, therefore it is highly important that she still be Treasurer. John reported that he received 6,000 francs from the French government to maintain a monument. Treasurer isn't interested in Francs. Unless they are large boned, with heavy saddlebags and violently oppose Martha Stewart.
OLD BUSINESS
The secretary made it to the meeting before Leslie. Leslie was crushed, appalled and disturbed by this fact. This does not really qualify as Old Business, but if you have something to report we suggest you do it sometime before the millenium.
And we have 1,593 "hits" on our website. Just asking -- Why do we have to call them hits? This is a non-violent group. We suggest the term "rubs" or how about "licks" or maybe even "pinches"...
More Updates from Cyberspace:
5 visitors from Australia, 5 from New Zealand, 1 from Ireland (John's relative, who refused to identify himself) and 5 literate people from the Military (that would be all of them) were among the many who visited our web site. G'day Vince, and all you upside downers down under.
Little know and under-reported facts: Tuesday and Wednesday is Weirdo Weekend on the Web.
New Faikakala:
Gretchen LeGalley applied for a job with Continental Airlines. If she gets it, Bill comes home. Tau said, "Bill, bring Tui with you, and all the guitars." The writer's group band may yet play again.
Jonathan had a wonderful time in Ofu. He was the only one man enough to go over for the Writer's Group Ofu retreat. Jonathan said the retreat was a success. He hasn't come back yet, for all practical purposes.
Eti Sa'aga visited John this past month. Eti is now working for the new paper on island: the Samoa Post. (John mentioned something about shifting the dateline to help someone get a job.) All is forgiven, though. Eti offered Siuleo 1/2 page spot, once a week, for anything worth publishing. With each writer's permissoin, of course.
Someone noted that it's a funny thing about dolls. They are dead. They look dead. Secretary objected to talking about dead dolls.
President John officially welcomed guests: Dotsy and Dan McMullin. Lee joined us much later. You have to be a special kind of crazy. We welcome all forms of craziness, particularly intergalactic and cyber-spasmodic kinds. John asked if there was any more pissiness...
Tau said that Samoa is growing in his ears. John asked Tau if her personally accepted the 21st Century as his saviour? Tau answered "Amen, brother". Watch out for these two. Next they will be trying to sell you a prayer shawl. John wanted to get this show on the road, because "the road ain't gonna come to you". He received a phone call from Liam. The Tongans bought him. One day a baby; the next day a linebacker with an appetite.
John submitted 2 letters to the Arts Council for funding: 1) for his vacation; 2) for publication schemes. SeaPac, you will recall from previous minutes, rejected John's last proposal because "he hadn't used the proper form". Hey all you governmental types: when did the process become more important than the product???????
Clara Reid asked for poetry for an anthology that was originally scheduled for the Arts Festival 2 years ago (??????) Dan Pouesi from Carson was planning to publish this.
David suggested that we use the "as yet unpublished anthology" for a Samoa Centennial publication. Clara also suggested a millenial connection. Secretary drowned in ENI-alls. Some unnamed person who John knows doesn't feel guilty about The Samoa Centennial show forthe government. We suppose he doesn't live near the "fault line". And of course every fruit and nut on the planet resides in California. (The ones who swim well live on islands.)
READERS:
MARISSA DeWEES -- "Don't Jump (don't call 911 either)
"unamed" or "Interesting Solution" (a political commentary). Per John: We haven't heard an anti-war poem in a very long time.
KATHLEEN KOLHOFF -- "Moana Prayer" Kathleen read this to our delight. And a psych professor's dismay.
And the vomit sonnets have not been seen yet. We are still waiting for these. (John asked if we were the target market forthe vomit sonnets.) No John, that would be toilet makers.
Visitors arrived: Lee, who was smart enough to come after the business part ofthe meeting. Tau played some trucking music for our break. John want burning poi balls for the finale.
And just for the record: The writer's group band did play at our last meeting. (Or the meeting before that, we think.) And John did Grace before the meal. She was pleased as punch. And DID YOU KNOW: A grant has been submitted to the Feds for a new DOG-BOUND on Tutuila. We love it.
Inspiratoinal hour and prayer meeting ensued. Someone admitted to having "psychosis fo the liver" and someone on the local radio station reported a celebrity who died of "brain hemorrhoids". Origami has been added to Siuleo's kitchen projects, since Lee and Tau were instrumental in the production of bay-ber airblanes, we thought Tau and the Towellettes should perform next month.
John said that he farted stirst grade and he did it right the first time, so he didn't have to repeat. He also asked the secretary to note in the minutes that we failed to talk about monkeys.
And we REALLY WANT TO KNOW: Why do all the a_______ in the world get big press? Someone who really deserved a sasa fell asleep in John's kitchen during a recent party. John said that he once dated a piece of furniture. It lasted 6 months. It was not a solid relationship.
And here's a tip for all you Kiitchen Queens: With the new free-dried semen, the trick is: try not to microwave it for too long. Have a jolly holiday. It IS a wonderful life.
