Original air date: 09/16/89

There were two versions of this episode. This one is the second version. The first one only aired once and, to me, seems like it was aired by mistake.

Synopsis

Mother Brain finds Kevin's weak spot is Bayou Land. She lures Duke into Bayou Land so Kevin will get lost. Bayou Billy teaches Kevin how to survive in the swamp and Kevin finds Duke.

Character differences

Bayou Billy: He looks different. His hair is blonde, he is also in great need of a shave. He's clothed pretty much the same, though.

The Adventures of Bayou Billy: The game isn't anything at all like the real one. It doesn't even look like an NES game.

The Crash Star: It's gold like a real star. Instead of making one giant flash killing everything, it just goes from enemy to enemy and destroying them.

Intro commercial

Unknown...

Narrator: Within her lair on the sinister world of Metroid, Mother Brain scans her trillion brain cells in search of a clue to Captain N's weakness.

[Mother Brain is watching Kevin play Nintendo]

Mother Brain: Did you see that? It's Captain N, just before he was sucked through the Ultimate Warp Zone into Videoland.

[Shot of the Bayou Billy game. Billy walks right and jumps over an alligator. He misses the second jump. Game over rises and buzzes]

Kevin: Rats. Way to go Captain Klutz. I just can't figure my way around this swampy bayou.

Mother Brain: That's it! I've found Captain N's weak spot.

King Hippo: Uh, you mean he's afraid of rats?

Mother Brain: No, you rat-brain! Bayou Land. He doesn't know his way around Bayou Land. I'm not only the most beautiful brain in the world; I'm the cleverest. I'll need a remote control robo cat.

Eggplant Wizard: Ooh, I've got a better idea, Mother Brain. How about a radio control sweet potato? [Makes one appear. It flies off]

Mother Brain: That's very thoughtful of you. [Picks up Eggplant Wizard] But do you know what I'd really like, Eggplant Wizard?

Eggplant Wizard: Uh, what's that, Mother Brain?

Mother Brain: [Grabs the sweet potato] An Eggplant slicer! [Splatters it on him. He yipes] Now stop thinking, and get me a robo cat! [Puts Eggplant Wizard down]

[The robot cat has been built]

Dr. Wily: It's tuned to your brainwaves, Mother Brain. Just think a [wheezes] thought and the robo cat will respond.

Mother Brain: [Impressed] Hmm... Let's see.

[The cat's eyes glow and it faces the others. It meows. It then looks at Eggplant Wizard and jumps on him]

King Hippo: Hah! Looks like Dr. Wily's robot doesn't work.

Mother Brain: On the contrary. It works purrrfectly. Ok, little robo cat. Go into the warp zone and do your stuff.

[The cat runs to the warp zone]

Narrator: At the other end of Videoland, at the Palace of Power, Mother Brain's sinister plot begins to unfold.

[The cat looks around and continues]

[Somewhere else, Kevin turns on a music machine]

Lana: I'm not sure I can do it, Kevin.

Kevin: Oh, of course you can, princess. Dancing is easy. Here, I'll show you. [He starts spinning and dances]

Lana: Ahh.... Oh... [Dances] I like this.

Kevin: I've got some pretty cool power moves, too. [Presses a button on the power pad. He walks backwards in the air and then backwards to where Lana is] Say, why don't we go back to my world? My friends would hyperventilate if they saw me dancing with the princess of Videoland.

[The cat runs in and jumps on Kevin's head. He falls forward, but is still standing]

Kevin: Hey! [Stands]

[Duke runs in, under Kevin, knocking him back]

Kevin: Whoa! Duke, will you stop chasing things? [To Lana] Sorry if I upset your cat.

Lana: But, I don't have a cat.

[They both run after Duke and the cat]

Kevin: Duke, come back here!

[The cat jumps into a blue warp. Duke follows]

Kevin: Duke, no! [Duke enters] Where does this warp zone go to?

Lana: Bayou Land.

Kevin: Bayou Land!? Oh, that mutt of mine would have pick the worst place in the universe to chase a stupid cat. Stay cool, I'll be right back. Duke! [Jumps into the warp]

[A warp opens in the ground at the bayou. Kevin comes out]

Kevin: Dukey! Here boy! [Climbs out]

[Mother Brain is watching Kevin walk around]

Mother Brain: He's taken the bait! King Hippo. Eggplant Wizard. Take the warp zone to the bayou and make sure Captain N never comes out of the swamp. [laughs]

[At the palace]

Lana: [to Simon] I'm worried about Kevin. He should've been back hours ago. No one but Bayou Billy could survive that long in the swamp.

Simon: [Amused] Oh, he's probably just feeding the alligators. With himself.

[A door opens. Mega Man and Kid Icarus come in]

Mega Man: Princess, look what we found. It's a robo cat. I caught it trying to sneak out of the warp zone.

Lana: Dr. Wily's the only one who could create something like this. We'd better warn Kevin that something's up. Come on, Simon. We're going to Bayou Land.

Simon: Uh, and get my clothes filthy? I'm sorry, but Simon Belmont, a vampire hunter, never travels in the bayou.

Lana: Not even for your princess?

Simon: [smiles] Well, maybe. If you promise to have dinner with me tonight. By candle light.

Lana: Oh, if you insist.

[All but Simon walk off. Simon gets his mirror out and fixes up his hair]

Simon: Did you see that, Simon? She practically begged you. [smiles]

[At the warp]

Lana: Kid Icarus. Mega Man. Stay here and look after the palace. Come on, Simon.

Simon: After you, your wonderfulness.

[Lana enters. Simon enters. The warp closes. They come out in the ground]

Lana: Ooh. This bayou is creepy. [They get out] Kevin! Let's try this way.

Simon: [Pulls out a cloth] Wait! Your pretty little feet are much too dainty to step in this muck. [Puts the cloth over it]

Lana: Why, thank you, Simon.

Simon: And, more importantly, so are mine. [He sinks with the cloth right through the mud.] Yai! [He gets out, spits mud out, and rambles] I hate mud!

{Commercial break}

[Duke is walking around the bayou. Eyes look at him from the bushes. He runs to a log and a spider walks forward. It jumps on his nose. Duke shakes his head to get the spider off. He runs somewhere else]

[Kevin continues the search for Duke]

Kevin: Duke! Where are ya' boy? Duke, you can't be gone. I can't remember what it's like without you. [Sits on a tree's root] You're the best friend I've got in the world. [Looks around] Especially this world. [Another root tries to grab him] Huh? [He runs from the live tree but stops in front of another one. It grabs him and lifts him] Hey! Let go! [He gets his zapper and shoots the tree's arm that has him. He falls into the swamp and runs. He stops at another tree that tries to grab him. Kevin uses the power pad to jump the tree] Whoa! It's a good thing I'm a whiz with the old power pad, or I'd've been in deep... [Sinks] Quicksand! [He sinks completely and falls into a cave, screaming] Phew. For a minute there I could've sworn I was... [A growl from an alligator] Dead meat! [He falls back into a sitting position. He gasps and the alligator advances, growling. Kevin tries to use the pause. Nothing happens] Oh, great! The quicksand's drained my power! [He tries to back off] I knew I should've practiced this bayou game more. I just don't have the moves. [He stops and the alligator prepares to bite him. A pair of hands close the alligator's mouth]

Bayou Billy: Hey! That's no way to treat a friendly caller.

Kevin: Thanks for saving me.

Bayou Billy: I didn't save you. I saved him. He gets awful indigestion from eatin' strangers. [He lets go and the alligator burps] Keeps me up all night. [He walks to his truck]

Kevin: Hey! You must be Bayou Billy!

Bayou Billy: [Enters truck] Huh huh. Must be. [Closes the door]

Kevin: Wait! I need your help.

Bayou Billy: Ifin' y'all are lost, uh, the warp zone out of the bayou is right past that tree. [Points at it]

Kevin: I know. I just came from there. I lost my dog and you're the greatest tracker in the bayou. Without your help, I'll never find him.

Bayou Billy: Dog? Well, why didn't you say so? Hop in.

Kevin: All right. [He gets in the truck]

Bayou Billy: I know what it's like to be attached to your pet. [Whistles for the alligator]

[The alligator walks onto the back of the truck and sticks it's head into the window. Kevin gasps]

Bayou Billy: This here's my pet alligator. Loafer. Aw ha. Lookie there. He likes ya'.

Kevin: Oh. Just what I need.

Bayou Billy: [Starts driving] Now don't you fret none, kid. When Bayou Billy's done teachin' ya', you'll be able to track down your dogs fleas.

[At the swamp]

Bayou Billy: Now, first thing ya' gotta learn about trackin' in the bayou is that footprints don't float. So you gotta look for other signs, like these here broken tulips. [Points at them] Your dog was here, mmm.... I'd say about an hour ago.

Kevin: Well then we've got to hurry.

Bayou Billy: [grabs Kevin] Hey, hey! Not so fast! Lesson number two: Never travel in the bayou without first getting some power items.

[Billy walks to a tree and gets a whip]

Bayou Billy: Now you're gonna have to learn to use a whip if you wanna survive out here. [Throws it to Kevin] Try it out.

[Kevin walks to a branch and tries whipping it. He hits himself in the back]

Kevin: Yeow!

Bayou Billy: Huh huh! Not bad. You hit a movin' target.

[A buzzard caws and flies in]

Kevin: Billy! Look out!

[The buzzard swoops down. Billy ducks]

Bayou Billy: Let me show you how we do it in the bayou. [He walks to Kevin and takes the whip] All right, you metallic buzzard. Gimme your best move! [The buzzard caws and flies forward. Billy whips it and it breaks] See? Nothin' to it.

[A big frog-creature comes out of the swamp. Billy and Kevin back away, shocked. It advances on them]

Kevin: Oh no! [He jumps back with his power pad just before getting hit. He lands by Billy] Phew. Good thing I've got my power pad.

Bayou Billy: Jumpin' won't do you no good against Frog Man.

Kevin: Why not? [Frog Man jumps close to them]

Bayou Billy: That's why. Try this. [The whip] You gotta learn sometime. [Kevin takes it]

[Kevin whips at Frog Man, misses, and the whip wraps around a tree branch. Frog Man advances]

Kevin: Billy! Help!

Bayou Billy: You're doin' just fine, kid.

[Kevin pulls on the whip. The branch breaks and lands on Frog Man's head. Frog Man falls over and jumps away]

Bayou Billy: [laughs] Nice move, kid. Nice move. [Shoves Kevin forward some]

Kevin: Thanks. Can we go find Duke now?

Bayou Billy: Don't rush it, kid. You still gotta learn about this here bayou.

[At the swamp, Billy jumps on some rocks to the other side. He signals Kevin to come. Kevin starts jumping on rocks but he lands on an alligator. It rises and Kevin almost falls into the swamp. Billy catches him]

[Billy is cooking something in the pot. He offers Kevin to have some. Kevin takes his spoon and gets a little skeleton on the spoon]

Kevin: Huh? [The skeleton raises it's arms. Kevin just faints]

[Billy knocks on a tree. A hand gives him a first aid kit]

[A bird swoops down. Kevin whips it]

[Kevin and Billy walk in the swamp. A snake drops in and swims up. Kevin grabs it and pulls it apart]

[Billy sails his motor boat through the swamp]

Bayou Billy: Looks like you're gonna make one jim-dandy swampsman. [Stops the boat at the shore]

Kevin: Well come on Billy, we gotta find Duke now.

Bayou Billy: Sorry, kid. I can't come with you. Gotta rustle up some poachers. But you'll do fine on your own. Bayou Kevin. [Gives Kevin a hard slap on the back to get him out of the boat. Billy sails off]

[Mother Brain watches Kevin wave to Billy]

Mother Brain: [laughs] So, Bayou Billy thinks he's taught him everything there is to know about the swamp, does he? Well, we'll see if Captain N can handle my little swamp creature. Is it ready, Dr. Wily?

Dr. Wily: Any second now, Mother Brain.

[Lightning strikes the tower and it flows into the covered creature. It rises and shows a shot of just its green eye]

Mother Brain: Oh, it's so horrible! Only a Mother Brain could love it. I love it!

Dr. Wily: It's genetically programmed for only one [wheezes] purpose. To destroy Captain N! Into the bayou warp zone!

[The creature runs into the warp zone and takes some of the wall with it. At the swamp, the creature rises from the water]

Swamp Creature: Captain N!

{Commercial break}

Narrator: In the deadly swamp of Bayou Land, princess Lana and Simon Belmont continue their search for Kevin.

Lana: Kevin! Can you hear me? I think something horrible has happened to him.

Simon: Oh dear me. You really think so? How dreadful. Ah, never fear your lovliness. I've just picked up the trail. Once you've tracked vampires, all the rest is child's play. [Gets a magnifying glass out and looks at the tracks] Hmm... Those are definitely Duke's paw prints. Once my keen tracking skills lead me to him, the mutt will lead me straight to Kevin.

[They follow the tracks past the swamp, through a log, over a boulder, and up to a tree. Simon walks into the tree and falls back]

Simon: [Points up] Ah ha. I found him. The clever cur is up that tree. [He climbs the tree]

Lana: But Simon, dogs don't climb trees.

[Simon gets on a branch and stops when he sees a mountain lion in the magnifying glass. It roars and knocks Simon off the tree. Simon screams. It prepares to jump on him]

Lana: Simon! Look out!

[Simon whips up over the branch and ties up the lion]

Simon: It's a good thing for you I'm an animal lover. Now scoot before I change my mind and make fur underwear out of you. [He releases the lion. It runs off]

Lana: Some tracker you are.

Simon: An honest mistake. Mountain lions are related to dogs, you know?

Lana: They're related to cats.

Simon: Ah ha. I always suspected Duke was part cat.

Lana: Oh brother. From now on, I'll do the tracking. Kevin! Duke!

[The Swamp Creature comes out of the water. Elsewhere, Duke swims out of the swamp. He shakes himself off and barks. He sees a snake. The snake tries to strike, but Duke avoids it. He bites the snake by the tail and throws it. Kevin arrives at the spot later and sees the prints]

Kevin: Oh no. Duke tangled with a snake. Oh, I hope he's ok. Duke, here boy.

[Back at the swamp, Eggplant Wizard is searching around]

Eggplant Wizard: There's nothing around here. Do you see anything King Hippo?

[King Hippo walks out of the swamp. Eggplant Wizard is on his shoulders]

King Hippo: Naw, there's nothin' under the water. Let's check that way. [He drops Eggplant Wizard]

Eggplant Wizard: Ooh...

[They find a poorly disguised boat]

Eggplant Wizard: Look. An air boat.

[King Hippo jumps onto it. It breaks]

King Hippo: Whoa! Aw, we won't get anywhere in this piece of junk.

Eggplant Wizard: I've got an idea.

[A little later]

King Hippo: This is the stupidest idea you ever dreamed up.

[It's revealed that the motor and seat are attached to him]

Eggplant Wizard: If we don't take care of Captain N, Mother Brain will brain us. Here goes nothin'. [He starts the engine. It works] Hey! This is terrific.

King Hippo: Look out!

[They miss a rock]

Eggplant Wizard: Hah! Missed it.

[They hit a tree]

King Hippo: Oh! Ooh! I'm gonna scramble your eggplant when I get my gloves on you!

Eggplant Wizard: Look! There he is.

[Kevin walks into the swamp. Eggplant Wizard drives at Kevin]

Eggplant Wizard: Let's mow him down.

Kevin: Duke! [Sees them] Whoa! [He dives out of the way. He comes up from the water] Huh? [He sees an alligator] Sorry I don't have time to stay for supper. [He uses the power pad to jump] Whoa! [He grabs a vine, lands on the alligator's back, and swings the vine into the mouth for "handles"] An alligator jet-ski. What a concept! [Presses a button and takes off] All right!

Eggplant Wizard: He's gettin' away!

[Kevin jumps over a log. King Hippo goes through it and screams. They go through some high grass. Kevin then jumps over a blue snake. King Hippo hits it. Kevin steers around a rock. The others hit it. Eggplant Wizard and the steering wheel fly through the air. King Hippo flies through the air. The motor flies through the air. The seat flies through the air]

[Elsewhere, Lana sees footprints]

Lana: They're Kevin's footprints all right.

Simon: Speaking of footprints, it's a crime to mistreat such beautiful feet.

Lana: Why thank you, Simon. I didn't think you noticed my feet.

Simon: Who's talking about your feet? I'm talking about these cute little devils. [He kisses his foot]

Lana: Yuck! Can't you ever think of anyone but yourself?

Simon: I was. I was thinking of my feet.

Lana: Simon!

Simon: I'm sorry, your cuteness. You're absolutely right. I should be thinking more about you, shouldn't I?

Lana: No. You should be thinking about Kevin.

Simon: Oh, him.

[The water near Simon begins to bubble]

Simon: [laughs] Hey, cut it out. That tickles.

Lana: What tickles?

Simon: Well, there's a little fish nibbling my toe. That's a naughty little fellow. Simon said stop tickling my toes.

[The Swamp Creature pops out of the water and roars]

Simon: Oh, I didn't mean it. You can tickle them all you want.

[The creature tries to claw him. He dodges it and runs out of the swamp. He sees a rock and grabs it with his whip. He spins it around]

Simon: Chew on that for a while! [He throws it into the creature's mouth] And don't forget to brush.

[The Swamp Creature breaks the rock and chases them]

Swamp Creature: Captain N!

Simon: You've got the wrong guy. I'm Simon Belmont. If you promise not to eat me, I'll take you to Captain N.

Lana: Simon!

[Mother Brain is watching]

Mother Brain: Ooh. What a delightful surprise. My Swamp Creature is not only going to devour Captain N, but the princess and Simon Belmont as well.

[They come out of the swamp]

Lana: There's a warp zone just ahead.

[They gasp. King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard come out of the tree]

King Hippo: Ha ha. You're not gettin' away that easy.

Eggplant Wizard: You wouldn't want our slimy friend to miss his lunch, would you? [laughs]

[The creature advances on them, roaring. King Hippo grabs Simon and Eggplant Wizard grabs Lana. They try to escape, but can't]

{Commercial break}

[The Swamp Creature advances on them more. Kevin tries to zap it but misses. The creature dives]

Lana: Kevin!

[They're dragged off. Kevin jumps down and looks around]

Kevin: Let 'em go. Or there's going to be french-fried eggplant and hippo burgers for everyone.

[Eggplant Wizard jumps out behind Kevin and makes a vine appear which ties Kevin up]

Kevin: Hey! [He walks over to Simon and Lana, who are also tied] Hey, what are you guys doing here?

Lana: We came to tell you that it was a trap. But I guess you could've figured that out without us. [She looks away]

[The creature prepares to move in for the kill, but Billy drives in between them]

Kevin: Billy!

[The creature rips the top off the truck and chews on it]

Bayou Billy: Hey kid! I found your mutt.

[Duke jumps out. Billy jumps out. Duke runs to Kevin]

Kevin: Duke! You're ok!

[Duke pulls the vines off Kevin]

King Hippo: Don't let 'em get away.

Bayou Billy: If I were you, I'd be worried about myself.

Kevin: Good boy Duke. Now, untie the others.

[The creature is standing on a log. Kevin walks over and aims, but the creature splashes water at Kevin, short-circuiting his zapper]

Kevin: Oh great, my zapper's got swamp duct in it.

[Eggplant Wizard throws vegetables at Bayou Billy. Billy stops them all with his whip]

Bayou Billy: Forget the zapper. Get the Crash Star!

Kevin: But I can't, the Swamp Creature's blocking it.

[The star is behind the creature in a tree's knothole]

Bayou Billy: Sure you can, kid. Just remember what I taught ya'.

[Kevin jumps and grabs a branch. He swings forward and onto Billy's truck. A group of alligators swim in front of him. He jumps on their heads and then grabs a snake to swing forward to get in front of the knothole. Kevin grabs the star]

Kevin: Got it!

[All the alligators, snakes, and the Swamp Creature advance on Kevin. Kevin throws the star at the Swamp Creature. The Swamp Creature looks surprise and disappears. The star then bounces on three alligators, finishing them off, then to three snakes]

King Hippo: Whoa! Let's get outta here!

[They run as the star chases them. Simon gets a matador's cape out and waits by the warp]

Simon: Toro! Toro! Oh, I mean: Hippo! Hippo! [The dive into the warp] Olé!

[Mother Brain sees this and looks up. They all in with some mud and land on Mother Brain]

Mother Brain: You incompetent puke-brains! You've ruined everything!

[The star flies in and emits beams of light. They all disappear]

Mother Brain: When I re-digitalize, I'm going to de-digitalize you two. For good.

Narrator: Later that evening, in the bayou...

[Loafer is sitting next to Simon with is arm around him]

Simon: This isn't fair, your highness.

Lana: But I promised you a candle light dinner, Simon. And I always keep my promise.

[Loafer looks hungry. Simon gets a full turkey and gives it to Loafer. All that remains are the bones]

Lana: Thanks again for helping us out Billy.

Kevin: And for teaching me about the bayou.

Bayou Billy: My pleasure.

[A frog jumps in. Duke is chasing it. They mess the table]

Kevin: I just wish you could've taught Duke to stop chasing things. [Duke goes into a hole in a tree] Oh no! Where does that warp zone lead to?

Bayou Billy: That's no warp zone. That there's the entrance to Loafer's nest.

[Duke runs out as some young alligators walk after him, smiling]

Kevin: I think Duke's finally learned his lesson.

[Duke jumps on Kevin's lap and covers his head with his paws. The screen closes on all but Duke's head. Duke still has the terrified look]

End