Chapter Two

"You can't!" Lockheed cried, looking at the villains as all his careful--or not--plans were laid to ruin.

"We are!"

Behind him one of the Gambits started to scream. Probably one of those ones that had been tortured by Sinister.

Sinister glared at the man, and he shut up. "Always mistaking me for that one . . ." he muttered to himself before turning back to Lockheed. "Now look, little dragon," he said, his eyes blazing, "We are taking over the Cafe tonight, and you're not going to stop us."

Lockheed fisted his hands on his hips, glaring. "Now lissen here, if you don't leave I'm going to have to sic my bunny slippers on you!"

Nudge Nudge and Wink Wink both nodded in agreement.

Sinister's eyebrows shot upward. "You think to threaten me?"

Lockheed blew smoke out his nose slits, smiling. "A-yup."

Sinister made a small motion with his hand, and just then the rest of the villains came flooding through, ready to fight. There were quite a few of them. More then three Sinister. Four Magnetos. Sabretooths, Havoks, Dark Beasts, even a few villains from the Age of Apocalypse. In fact, even Poccy himself showed up.

Lockheed made a signal, and the animals backed him up. "We're not called FURBALS for nothin', ya know," Lockheed said before he realized that that name didn't really strike terror in to the hearts of anybody. Except, maybe, someone with really bad allergies.

"Attack, my friends!" Sinister said, gesturing with his arm.

"Sic 'em, boys and girls!" Lockheed said, flying into battle.

N'Gari looked at Gizmo and Gadget, who really preferred no violence. "Personally," he croaked, "I think I don't really want to get my beautiful hide scratched."

"Too bad!" Lockheed cried, and gestured for Mutant to make sure N'Gari got busy. Mutie grinned and ran, slobbering, to where N'Gari sat. N'Gari squacked and started flying, while shouting for Lockheed to call the dog off.

"Okay, go over there, N'Gari!" Lockheed called, pointing to a corner where Tweety was about to be squashed by the Blob.

"No, no!" the other Lockheed cried as he hobbled into the room. "Over there!" Cocky the Cockroach was about to be blasted by Havok.

"No, over *there*!" the first Lockheed cried, attacking the other one. N'Gari sighed and settled down to wait them out.

The Gremlins, meanwhile, had gotten confused. Sure, they were pets, but they were also bad guys. Which side did they fight on?

Sherman shrugged. "We'll wait to figure it out." The other Gremlins agreed. There was a reason Sherman was leader of the GPA.

The cats, meanwhile, had all gone after Sabretooth, and were proving more then a match for him. Lion had taken on one of the Sinisters, Cocky and Ratty were after Arclight who, it turned out, had a fear of crawly things.

Slowly the Villains were being beaten out simply because the FURBALS had sheer numbers on them.

"You win this day, Lockheed," Sinister said, breathing hard and still hitting at one pigeon that was having too much fun to stop, "But our time cometh!"

Lockheed was still fighting Lockheed, so Sinister looked over at Rainbow and Tiger. "You'll make sure he gets that message?"

They both nodded.

"Where to now, boss?" Scalphunter asked.

"The beach resort. I need some sun," Sinister answered as they all walked away.

"Uh, guys?" Tom gobbled, looking at Lockheed and Lockheed as they still tried to kill each other. "We won."

"That's nice," one said before biting down on the other's leg.

"Very nice," the other said as he charred the first's butt.

"Well, now what?" Jubilee the cat asked, laying on her stomach.

Mutie looked at her and gave a doggie grin, then licked his chops.

"Besides that."

Everett came to stand over Jubilee, hissing.

Mutie sighed and walked away.

FURBALS

The Bouncer wiggled around a little more, then finally got it's hands untied. Those rassum frassum FURBALS. Standing, he walked to the door and peered inside. There they all stood--well, except for the Lockheeds, who were still rolling around on the floor--looking rather expectant. The Bouncer really didn't think he could defeat them all. But he knew someone who could. Smiling, he turned and started to run in the right direction.

FURBALS

"So what you're saying," She said, her fingers linked across the desk, "Is that the pets have gotten out of control?"

The Bouncer nodded. She sighed. This figured. She turns Her back for three minutes and look what happens . . . .

"All right. Assemble plan A."

The Bouncer nodded and left.

FURBALS

Tires on pavement could be heard, far away but getting closer. "Whas' that?" Blizzard whoofed.

"I--I don't know," N'Gari croaked, getting nervous as the sound stopped just in front of the Subreality Cafe.

"EVERYONE FREEZE!" came a booming voice.

"It sounds like . . . BISHOP!" Lockheed screeched, flapping into the air. "An' he's MAD!"

"No matter, coward," the other Lockheed said, "We'll take care of him!"

The pile of Gen Cats nodded, their fur bristling.

"IT'S BEEN SAID THAT THERE'S AN EPIDEMIC OF FLEAS GOING AROUND--YOU MUST ALL BE VACCINATED!"

"Good Lord!" N'Gari squaked, falling off his stool, "It's the vet!"

A collective gasp went around the room, and the cats--who made up more the half the population--started to run out the windows and doors.

"NO! Wait!" Lockheeds cried, each of them flying to stop fleeing felines, "We can beat him off! We don't need to do what he says! We in control! Think Pet Cemetery!"

At that the cats stopped. They'd been shown the movie in a self-help class.

"Yeah! Why should we be afraid of them?" Jubilee the Cat shouted, jmping gracefully up onto the bar.

"Because, cher, dey have bathes an' shampoo an' flea powder an'--"

"Okay, Cajun Cat. We heard ya. The point is, we have claws!"

The room itself groaned at the bad pun.

"Now wait, lads," Banshee the Cat said, climbing up the barstool, "Th' lass has a point."

More groaning.

"That's nae what I meant," he yeowled, looking around at the other FURBALS. "A meant, she has a good idea. We c'n chase th' Bishops away!"

There was murmuring as the FURBALS thought about it, then finally they rallied and all strode outside.

The three Bishops that were acting as Vets all gulped and started to back away, one of them going for his gun, only to realize that it was clogged with . . . bunny slippers? He shook his head and put it down. He really didn't think he wanted to know.

"Ya wannus? Come an' get us!" Jubilee the Cat snarled as she leapt for one Bishop's chest.

Artie and Leech went for another's ankles, hissing and spitting as they did so. The Gremlins attacked the truck, wreaking havok on the equipment.

The N'Gari Eater squacked long and loud, then whipped around and smacked one Bishop with the arrowhead of his tail. The man died instantly. "I never get ta do that!" he said happily, totally unworried about killing another writer's fic. Everyone would thank him later. Either that, or the fic would just be brought back to life.

Demons started crawling out of the shadows, hissing and attacking knees, ankles, the taller ones faces and particularly noses. This was great.

Within seconds the Bishops had been beaten back, and they jumped into the car and raced away as fast as they could.

The animals cheered and went back inside.

The Bouncer sighed and turned to race back to Her Majesty.

FURBALS

"Plan A didn't work?" she asked, pacing the floor.

The Bouncer shook his head.

"Try plan B."

He nodded and left.

FURBALS

The Bounce grabbed the firehose that had appeared outside the building especially for this purpose, and started spraying inside.

The cats started running again, and White Queen the Cat was out the window and racing away--screaming about her beautiful white coat--before anyone could stop her.

"NO! WAIT!" cried Happy as he ran after her. In a minute he'd caught her in his giant mouth and was carrying her inside, where the other animals were quickly boarding up the windows and doors, keeping the water from getting inside.

"HA!" Lockheed shouted at the Bouncer.

"HA HA!" the other Lockheed shouted, pushing the first down.

The first blazed fire at him, and they started rolling around on the floor again.

Mutant looked at Blizzard and sighed. Dragons were so temperamental.

"Anyone seen Tweety?" Angelo the Cat asked, looked around.

Nudge Nudge smiled.

Jono the Cat groaned.

"We're invincible as long as we don't eat each other," Anya said testily, pouncing on the bunny slipper as hard as she could.

It's mouth popped open and out flew Tweety, three pigeons and Mickey.

"Amazing," Paige the Cat said, trying to look inside the rest of it's mouth. She was suddenly eaten, but was then saved by two overzealous dragons who hit the bunny slipper on their way to continue their fight. Nudge Nudge spit her out, and she ran out, yowling about wet fur.

FURBALS

Meanwhile, the Bounce had once again gone back to her Ladyship, and was trembling before her.

"Plan B didn't work?" she groaned, sitting on the edge of her desk. "Then there's only one thing left to do."

The Bouncers eyes widened. "Not that!"

"Yes. That."

The Bouncer turned, shaking his head, and started back to the Subreality Cafe, with a short detour by way of the Beach Resort.

FURBALS

They were all outraged that the FURBALS had done such a thing, and followed him easily.

"ANYA!" Magneto cried, throwing the doors to the Subreailty Cafe open, "How could you stay with this . . . this . . . riffraff?"

She ducked her head and went to her owner, climbing into his arms as he carried her out.

"Wait! ANYA! We need your he--"

"And you," a Beast said, young Siku in tow, "You're supposed to be home guarding the place!"

Blizzard swallowed hard and followed his own guy out the door.

"TOM!" Beast's parents shouted, looking for the turkey. "TOM! Come home right now!"

The turkey shrugged helplessly at the Lockheeds, then left.

"I don't believe this!" Lockheed shouted, pounding his fists against the bar.

"Believe it, buster. Really, it's amazing what you get into the minute our Writer stop working!" Kitty cried, scooping up the little dragon.

"N'Gari!" came a thick Irish burr from the men's bathroom. "Lets gae, lad. It looks like ye have some explainin'' ta do . . ."

N'Gari curled himself around Banshee's shoulder, trying his best to look pitiful. "It wasn't my idea!" he croaked.

"Nudge Nudge? Wink Wink? What have I told you about eating other people's fictives?" Abyss asked, lifting his feet so that the now fat bunny slippers could slide on.

"Sstch. Krrt."

"Yeah, I just bet it tasted like chicken . . ." Abyss walked out the door.

Twist walked in the door just then, shouldering past the fictives. Since the Gremlins didn't have owners, Twist had to take care of them. And boy, could they cause a mess! "Now people, let's go! I had to come all the way down here," Twist started in on them as they walked out. Gizmo and Gadget hung their head sorrowfully.

Dyce sighed and just looked at the Gen Cats, not even saying anything. After awhile you came to expect this.

Each and every one of them followed Dyce out the door, Jubilee the Cat mumbling about how it was all Dyce's fault, and this was so degrading.

A human Jubilee bounced into the room, grabbing Mutie's collar and snapping a leash on. "C'mon you, we have to give you a bath."

A young Gambit came in, tilted his head and was followed out by Happy.

Artie came and gathered Cocky, Mickey and Ratty before leaving, "talking" to them all about the big chunk of cheese he had waiting for them at home. They could even sleep in his bed!

Tornado rubbed his eyes, wondering why his Writer had ever had to make these cats so frisky. Sometimes . . . "C'mon, Rainbow, Tiger. You two are in such trouble . . ."

Rogue came and picked up Gambit the Cat, ignoring his claws which simply broke on her skin.

There was almost a riot when Scott Lobdell tried to sneak in and grab Lewis, after all, no Professional Writers allowed. The Bouncer finally picked up the turtle and threw it at the man, who took it and ran.

Artie and Leech, looking at the dwindling numbers of animals in the room, beat a hasty retreat back home before their Writer found out they'd been a part of this.

Soon, all that was left were McBer's telepathic cat, three pigeons, and Lockheed. Even Tweety had flown the coop.

"Why are there only three of these guys left?" J.B. asked as she picked up the pigeons.

Lockheed and the telepathic cat exchanged looks. "Ask Abyss," Lockheed finally said.

J.B. shrugged and left the room.

"CAT!" someone shouted, coming over to pick up the last mammal.

Lockheed sighed as the thing was carried out the door. So much for the takeover of the Subreailty Cafe.

Something ripped him off his feet as he started to walk away, and Lockheed was spun around until he faced his captor. "Gotcha this time, ya little rodent," a furious Wisdom said in his face. "Everyone heard you talking."

Lockheed smiled and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Ya know one o' the nice things about telepathic cats and gremlins?" he hissed in Pete's face. "They c'n wipe out memories of things like that."

He grinned as Wisdom's face fell.

FURBALSFURBALSFURBALSFURBALSFURBALS

Notes

Okay, same roster as last time, only I was wrong. Picky and the Brain were from David J. Warner's "Of Mice And Men" not whatever I put! As for "one of the Gambits that had been tortured by Sinister" well, pick a fic! :)

Here are those owners I was talking about:

Abyss belongs to, most likely, himself, although there's really no way to tell. Magneto--the one that took Anya--is from Lori McDonald's Ash. Rogue (took Gambit the Cat) is from Gambit's Cat-astrophe by Jaque Koh. Scott Lobdel belongs to Marvel comics Tornado (Rainbow and Tiger) belongs to Aaron Thall McBer belongs to McBer, I think. I (J.B.) belong to my birds and my beta-readers. Beast's parents belong to Darqstar's X-S series, "Turkey Day" Beast and young Siku were from Darqstar's "You Can't Teach A New Dog, Old Tricks" in that same series. Twist belongs to Twist Dyce belongs to Dyce--unless Dyce belongs to someone else. Jubilee (with Mutie) is from "Bonnie, Clyde and the X-Mas Tree" by A Spawns Kid. And the young Gambit that picked up Happy is from "Present Imperfect" by Cassandra Frasier!