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1. HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER? You boil the hell out of it.
2. WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL? Dam.
3. WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE? Polaroid's.
4. WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS? Nacho cheese.
5. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK? A stick.
6. WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS? Subordinate clauses.
7. WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND? Quatro sinko.
8. WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW? Spoiled milk.
9. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE? Frostbite.
10. WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES? A nervous wreck.
11. WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS? Skeet.
12. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP? Anyone can roast beef.
13. WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS? Because they have big fingers.
14. WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKYDIVE? Because it scares the dog.
15. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER? The location of the dirt bag.
16. WHY DO A PILGRIM'S PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN? Because they wear their buckles on their hats.
17. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKYDIVER? A bad golfer goes whack, damn. A bad skydiver goes, damn, whack.
18. HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT? Unique up on it.
19. HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT? Tame way, unique up on it.
20. HOW ARE A TEXAS TORNADO AND A TENNESSEE DIVORCE THE SAME? Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
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