as a young child
I fantasized of being a woman
I was mommy to my dolls
whiled away my days
hosting tea parties for teddies
and all the while
wearing one of my mothers biggest hats
and her loudest costume jewlery

as a girl
I wished I were a woman
teenage hearthrobs were the living end
and weekends were an endless string of slumber parties
after all
what more is there to life
than painting your toenails
and wearing your best friends newest lipstick

as a young lady
I felt I was a woman
getting married to the man of my dreams
having his children
adopting many different roles
now wearing all of my mothers hats
sometimes all of them at once
Wife
Mother
Teacher
Cook
Nurse
the list was endless

as a young mother
I wished I were a child again
to be free to play
carefree and secure in the knowledge
that my every little need would be taken care of
to be a whole person again
instead of fragmented into a multitude of pieces
each fragment being what someone else needed it to be

now I no longer aspire to be a woman
I am one
as I stand on the threshold of 40
I realize that I am
carefree
secure
whole
I have gathered together
as one would gather wild flowers in the field
the many fragments of me
I see the circle of my womanhood coming complete

I have the wisdom of experience
I trust my own good judgement
I am
STRONG
INDEPENDANT
SECURE
my life is tempered with a
gentle
creative
sensual
spirit
I show unconditional love and respect
and expect nothing less than the same in return
but most important of all
I know now that all the yesterdays
had to be as they were
in order that all the tomorrows
be as they should be

Stages
© Stormy 1998




In Loving Memory Of My Mother, Vivian Mason
Who taught me Strong, Independant, Secure!!!
Thanks Mom !!! I know you're watching !!
I Love You