Corey: "Dad says there are 24 usable hours in each day"


A.J.: "I'm gonna tell her by this morning. By noon. No, by noon or one. By 1:37 exactly, Joe"


Mark: "Hey, watcha doing man?"
A.J.: "Exercising my veto, man"
Mark: "Yeah, well it's only 9:00. Are you sure you wanna do that?"
A.J.: "Mark, listening to this crap is guaranteed to make you sterile"
Mark: (under his breath) "So maybe I wanna be sterile"


Joe: "Can you please not sing, Mark"
Mark: "You know what, Joe. One of these days I'm gonna show you little people"
Joe: "Yeah, well on that day I'm gonna jump out of my wheelchair and do a dance"
Mark: "Well how 'bout today, huh. Rex Manning Day"


A.J.: "You did have hair when you went in there, right?"
Deb: "Yeah, its still in the sink if you wanna glue it"


Deb: "Hey Lucas. Is it true you committed the perfect crime?"
Lucas: "Not entirely perfect"


A.J.: "What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today your like the Chinese guy from The Karate Kid. What's with you today?"
Lucas: "What's with today, today?"


Warren: "Who glued these quarters down?"
A.J.: "I did"
Warren: "What the hell for, man?"
A.J.: "I don't feel I need to explain my art to you, Warren"


Mark: "Does Axel have a jack?"


Gwar: "Hey Mark! You love Gwar. Why don't you join the band? Aw man. Mark man. You play a mean guitar man. It's really a shame that you must die!"
Mark: "Wow! I love you Eddie!"


Mark: (answering the phone) "Empire Records open 'til midnight, This is Mark (pause) Midnight!!!"


Mark: "Dude, did you hear about Lucas?"


Deb: "No visable tattoos"
Gina: "No revealing clothing"
Deb: "We're both screwed. Well, at least your used to it"
Gina: "Now Debra, don't be bitter. Certainly with your ever growing collection of flesh mutilating silver appendages and your new Neo Nazi bootcamp makeover, the boys will come a'runnin"
Deb: "Let's not fight, let's just rip"


Mark: "No, we mustn't dwell. No, not today. We can't. Not on Rex Manning Day!"


Mark: "I guess you didn't leave the couch"
Lucas: "Not the entire couch"
Mark: "Oh, I've decided I'm gonna start a band"
Lucas: "Really"
Mark: "Yeah"
Lucas: "First thing you need is a name. So you know what kind of band you've got"
Mark: "Yeah, I know. I know. I was kinda thinking about, um Mark. What do you think of that?"
Lucas: "Is that with a C or with a K?"
Mark: "Well, my name is with a (he looks at his name tag) K, so I was thinking maybe my band could be with a C, so it has that pschedelic trip thing"
Lucas: "Always play with their minds"

Mark: "SHOPLIFTER!!!!!!!"

Gina: "Isn't it customary for the suspect to leave the scene of the crime?"
Deb: "Definately an amateur"

Joe: "How old are you?"
Warren: "Old enought to kick your butt through your skull and splatter your brains on the wall"

Lucas: "I think its gonna be O.K., Joe"
Joe: "Yeah, and what makes you think that?"
Lucas: "Who knows where thoughts come from they just appear"

Gina: "Well, Sinead - O'Rebellion. Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior"
Deb: "You know, that is so clever. You get smarter the shorter your skirt gets"
Gina: "Yeah, and you get smarter the shorter your hair gets, so I guess its a good thing you went with that"
Deb: "Yeah"

Mark: "Just give me a couple of seconds"

Lucas: "Warren, where do you get all this hostility from?"