NINTH STEP
"(We) Made direct amends to people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure
them or others."
This is quite simple when we approach this with an attitude of "positive" expectancy. This is
the last of the cleansing and releasing step. Many doors in our recovery will begin to open
for us after we complete this step. Our growth will astound us. Knowing this alone can give
us an attitude of "positive" expectancy.
We do exactly as this step says, we make direct amends to such people wherever possible.
But what about those people we no longer know where they are? Or those we never knew
who they were? All those faceless people.
Remember the first name we put on our list,... our Higher Power? We can make
amends through our Higher Power to all those faceless people, and those we cannot
locate.
The second name on our list, are ourselves.
A question we may ask is how do we make amends to ourselves. We must realize we started
to make amends to ourselves the day we walked into Trauma Anonymous. We continue to
make amends to ourselves as we live the steps and carry the message of Trauma Anonymous
to other Trauma survivors. We can never give away more than we have, because as soon as
we give it away our Higher Power gives us twice as much as we gave.
The next part of the step "except when to do so would injure them or others."
We must remember sometime in trying to make amends, the amends themselves may injure
the person you are trying to make amends to.
Example to ponder:
Someone you injured in your Trauma by screaming at them from your pain and then
shutting them out.
In verbally making the amends you may injure them by shocking them and causing them to
have resentments. You may want to handle these amends through your Higher Power. Also,
when the step refers to them and others, you are part of others. You must make sure the
amends do not injure you too. That would be pure irresponsibility.
One last word on your Ninth Step; many Trauma survivors would like to justify why not to
make amends. The step does not say others are to make amends to us. Not matter what they
did to us, but this step tells us we are to make direct amends.
Ninth Step Worksheet
Write the answers on a separate piece of paper.
What type of attitude must we have when we do this step and why?
How do we make amends to people we can't locate?
Under certain circumstances would amends be injurious to someone?