by Suz suzvoy@tesco.net
Disclaimer - Paramount owns the characters.
Follows on from the events in 'The Discovery of Bitter Things'.
'Though on the sign is written:
"Don't pluck these blossoms" -
It is useless against the wind,
which cannot read.'
- Japanese verse
*
I do not hate the Borg. I cannot. For nearly two decades they raised me, they were my 'family' and for that alone I should be greatful. I can hate what they did to me after I realised exactly what they *had* done, but I cannot hate the Collective. I ponder sometimes, over Arturis' words. I can appreciate how he could see them as almost a force of nature on the horizon. Something to be avoided, not hated. They are simply doing what they do to survive. For something so natural they cannot be reviled.
I can hate the Borg Queen. For the most part she is an individual; she controls the hive mind but she has her own free will. No one can force her to do anything. But the drones...are simply drones. Insects efficiently following orders. I was no different. I cannot hate them.
He does.
He detests them.
Would I feel the same level of emotion if our situations were reversed? Probably, but there is no accurate way of knowing.
He tried to explain to me one evening why he hated them with such passion. They had abused his trust. Betrayed him. Controlled his mind without his permission. He found this unacceptable.
I understood.
He had been an individual for four decades when the incident occured. He did not want that taken away.
Most of all he did not want to be betrayed. From the relevant information I have assimilated since arriving on Voyager, I have discovered that he has been betrayed by a number of the senior staff, including the Captain and Commander Tuvok.
Commander Tuvok's duplicity was obvious and I do not believe he holds much of a grudge against him for it. But the Captains betrayal seemed to trouble him more. I know that they were close, once. It disappoints him that they are not anymore.
That is something I believe I appreciate. While the Captain is often frustrating and stubborn, I have learnt that I have gained from her friendship. Exactly what I have gained I am unable to clarify, but it exists nonetheless. I find this extremely frustrating which I think amuses him sometimes.
And oddly, I find myself amused when he is.
I am not sure what that means.
At our last meeting on the holodeck we discussed his relationship with the Captain. I discovered new facts I had not been aware of before. And as a way of...consolation, perhaps...I offered to calculate all the stars in the galaxy for him.
I am not sure what that means, either.
Perhaps I will ask the Doctor.
~FINIS
For now...