Disclaimer- You know the drill, don't own em' don't claim to.

Thanks and dedications- Thanks to TJ, And Jess,,( I owe ya both. ),
Courtney Love , L7, and Kurt Cobain, (they are all my inspiration and I
would not be writing if it weren't for them.) And for Crystal, the girl
in the phone booth.

Notes- this is probably P.G.-13, low R , If you don't like bad words
don't read this.

Things you must know- this takes place after MKA, and John is alive and
well, and living with Sonya in L.A. Liu and Kit are also an "item".

Feed back is gleefully accepted, its only my second time writing
fan-fic, so tell me.

On wit' da show!!!

"Small plastic pigs"


I like to think I'm a big enough person to admit when I've done
something stupid. Like when I had that lill' incident in the third
grade, when I asked my English teacher if his wig was a dead skunk on
his head. Oh and it seemed like a swell idea to tell a nun that she had
an uncanny resemblance to Larry King.  That's not smart either. But like
I said I can admit was wrong. 
All of those things are not even close to the dumbest thing I've ever
done. That would be taking my Girlfriend, Sonya to a bar. That's was
really, I'll tell you why.

First the fun filled evening from hell, started when Sonya took 2 
hours in the bath room to get ready to go to a bar. A bar for Christ
sake. A place where people go to get drunk and / or laid. The little
dive we had in mind that evening had creatures looking for both. 

We where supposed to meet Liu and Kit at the bar at 8:30. We got there
at 8:00 and got a table and waited . I told Sonya to get what ever she
wanted, so she did, it started with a Beer or two , or three, by the
time Liu and Kit got there she was on number 3.. It was amazing. I've
never seen a her drink that much in one night let alone a half hour. 

When they got there they both ordered a few drinks. In about a half hour
or so Kit was as Wasted as Sonya. They where whispering something to
each other while Liu and I talked , when Sonya asked me for a Twenty,
which I gave her, then she and kit ran like bats out of hell out of our

" What the hells gotten in to them?" Liu asked 

" A six pack." I answered.


20 minuets later.

The two of them come back with this big smile on both there faces. I
knew something was up. 

" what did you do with the 20?" I asked.

" uhh, oh the jukebox." she giggled.

" You spent the 20 on the Jukebox ? " I said.

" YeppYeppYepparoo!!!!!!!!" She said 

" Why don't I hear any music then?" Liu asked.

"Damn must be broken." Sonya said.

At that lovely note , a waitress, came to the table with a small brown
box, and said " You Johnny Cage ?"


" Here" she Said and handed me the box.

" what's this?"

" I Don't know ," she said, " You Want this or not?"

I looked at Sonya and Kit, who shook there heads at me . Then I looked
at Liu. He shrugged.

" I didn't ask for this or anything." I said

" I know , she said , they did." she said and pointed at Sonya.

" Yo Flo! You weren't supposed to tell!!!!" Sonya yelled.

 I saw that look of " Oh shit " pass over Liu's face, knowing Kit was
involved and just stayed quit.

" Do you want this or not?" the waitress said impatiently.

" Yhea I guess so." I said, " What the hell did you two do?"

"Bought you a present!!!" Kit piped up finally.

Oh God.

" Open it !! Open it !!!"  Sonya jumped up in down in her chair as she
started chanting it. After a few times kit joined in.

" You do it Liu." I said.

" Hell no, its for you."

" Its for both of you," Kit said." open it together!"

" Fine." I said , then Liu and I started opening the box. Only to find
over 2,000 small pink plastic pigs. 

" What the Hell is this?" I asked.

"Piggy's !!" Kit said. 

" No shit , " Liu said, " what are they for?"

"You!!! Oink! Oink! My good man!!!!" Sonya gleefully chimed in.

" Christ, is that what you spent the 20 on?" I said.

"Yep!" sonya said

" Sonya wanted to buy 20 dollars of florescent condoms , but that may be
useful, and we wouldent want that! Now would we?"

No why would we want that.

" John john, don't you like it?" Sonya asked in a hurt voice, with this
cute little grin , she gets.

"Oh, love it , if there's one thing I need in life its small plastic
pigs." I said sarcastically , but apparently she was beyond sarcasm.

" Good !! Now lets dance!!" she said.

"Uhhh, no."

" I shower you with gifts and this is how you thank me? . Kit, hold me!
I know when I've ben insulted I know when I've been insulted!"  Sonya
sobbed as she " cried" on Kits shoulder.

"Are you happy now, you big meanie?" Kit asked and patted Sonya's head.

" Fine, ok, I'll dance , lets go." I said.

" No , I don't want to now." she huffed.

" Fine ," I said , "no skin off my ass!!"

" I want to dance , now!" She insisted, changing her mind.

        We went out to the rink dink , dance floor, and started dancing. They
where playing some dancy song, with a quick beat. Sonya starts slow
dancing. Before long Kit and Liu where dancing like us , Liu just
shrugged at me. This lasted for like five seconds, until they announced
a kearoke machine.

        Sonya and Liu got a big grin on there faces, they started singing ,
such classics as, " what if god smoked cannabis?" , " The BRADY bunch
theme" , and " my scrotum"., Liu and I decided that it was time to go
home. We drug them off stage , only for them to run back on this time
singing," Smells like teen spirit". 

        After that old time fav., a fight broke out between Sonya and some
girl. To make a long story short , all four of us are now banned for
life, from the bar. So as we where being "escorted" out, sonya stopped
by a phone booth with two people in it making out. Sonya tapped on the
Glass and said " Hey , aren't you , Billy Corgan? Hey can I have your
autograph? Who's that your with ? That's not Yaleena Yumchuck? Ain't you
married? "At this time the girl in the booth was seriously pissed , and
once again, My little Sonya was in a fight. 

        In the car driving home, Sonya was up in front with me , and Liu and
Kit where in the back, doing something you don't wanna know about. They
didn't drive home alone because , there car had sugar in the gas tank.
Complements of the girl in the bar fight . Anyway where driving, and
Sonya's making toe prints on the window with her bear feet. Then she
started to sing.

" haven't you sung enough tonight?" I asked.

" Nope. My jaw hurts." she said

" Why did you get in that fight? " I asked

"Which one?"

" The first one."

" She called you a fake."

" She did?" I asked.

" Yep"

" That bitch!"

" That's what I said, I was just' sticken up for you, sides' I didn't
like her."

" I think you proved that when you rubbed lemon wedges in her eyes."

" Hey anything for you babe! Sides' it needed to be done. Do ya got any
aspirin?" she asked sounding like she was In pain.

" No, are you hurt real bad?'

" No , its just the throbbing pain in my jaw for you"

" Sorry, I think you got her back by pulling her around the parking lot
by her hair."

" You and Liu stopped us before we could tie her to the bumper", she
said " ya big meanie."

" oh I know your so abused." 

" I am." she said " Wait! Do you have my piggies?"


" Well turn back, I need them, there the only family I have left.!"


"Fine, asshole"


"OWWW!!" she yelled


" I stabbed my self. Teehee."

"Your sick you know?"


"Spanx? Are you sure your ok?"

" No" She said

" What? Why?"

" Cause, I shower you with gifts, sing to you defend you honor , and you
don't even tell me you love me or kiss me."

" Is that what you want ?"

" Yes"

" Fine I love you." I said.

" ohh that was hart felt, how bout a kiss ?"

" Well your drunk."

" Has this stopped you before?"

" No , but .."

"Than what are you waiting for?"

So I stop the car and pull over and kiss her for what seemed like
forever, we would have kept going if she didn't need air . Unfourtunatly
she did. When we stopped what little brains I had waved bye bye.

" Sonya, I love you , marry me."

"What ?" 

" You heard me."

" Ask me again"

" Sonya, I love you more than any thing , Marry me."

She answered me in the lowest voice " yes"

"What?" I asked

"Yea, yes, yes yes!"

I started to laugh and so did she.

Now you may ask why this is so bad, but wedding's are a bitch.

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