Disclaimer- You know the drill, don't own em' don't claim to. Thanks and dedications- Thanks to TJ, And Jess,,( I owe ya both. ), Courtney Love , L7, and Kurt Cobain, (they are all my inspiration and I would not be writing if it weren't for them.) And for Crystal, the girl in the phone booth. Notes- this is probably P.G.-13, low R , If you don't like bad words don't read this. Things you must know- this takes place after MKA, and John is alive and well, and living with Sonya in L.A. Liu and Kit are also an "item". O-tay. Feed back is gleefully accepted, its only my second time writing fan-fic, so tell me. On wit' da show!!! "Small plastic pigs" +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- I like to think I'm a big enough person to admit when I've done something stupid. Like when I had that lill' incident in the third grade, when I asked my English teacher if his wig was a dead skunk on his head. Oh and it seemed like a swell idea to tell a nun that she had an uncanny resemblance to Larry King. That's not smart either. But like I said I can admit was wrong. All of those things are not even close to the dumbest thing I've ever done. That would be taking my Girlfriend, Sonya to a bar. That's was really, I'll tell you why. First the fun filled evening from hell, started when Sonya took 2 ½ hours in the bath room to get ready to go to a bar. A bar for Christ sake. A place where people go to get drunk and / or laid. The little dive we had in mind that evening had creatures looking for both. We where supposed to meet Liu and Kit at the bar at 8:30. We got there at 8:00 and got a table and waited . I told Sonya to get what ever she wanted, so she did, it started with a Beer or two , or three, by the time Liu and Kit got there she was on number 3.. It was amazing. I've never seen a her drink that much in one night let alone a half hour. When they got there they both ordered a few drinks. In about a half hour or so Kit was as Wasted as Sonya. They where whispering something to each other while Liu and I talked , when Sonya asked me for a Twenty, which I gave her, then she and kit ran like bats out of hell out of our sight. " What the hells gotten in to them?" Liu asked " A six pack." I answered. +++++++++++++++++++++ 20 minuets later. The two of them come back with this big smile on both there faces. I knew something was up. " what did you do with the 20?" I asked. " uhh, oh the jukebox." she giggled. " You spent the 20 on the Jukebox ? " I said. " YeppYeppYepparoo!!!!!!!!" She said " Why don't I hear any music then?" Liu asked. "Damn must be broken." Sonya said. At that lovely note , a waitress, came to the table with a small brown box, and said " You Johnny Cage ?" "Yes" " Here" she Said and handed me the box. " what's this?" " I Don't know ," she said, " You Want this or not?" I looked at Sonya and Kit, who shook there heads at me . Then I looked at Liu. He shrugged. " I didn't ask for this or anything." I said " I know , she said , they did." she said and pointed at Sonya. " Yo Flo! You weren't supposed to tell!!!!" Sonya yelled. I saw that look of " Oh shit " pass over Liu's face, knowing Kit was involved and just stayed quit. " Do you want this or not?" the waitress said impatiently. " Yhea I guess so." I said, " What the hell did you two do?" "Bought you a present!!!" Kit piped up finally. Oh God. " Open it !! Open it !!!" Sonya jumped up in down in her chair as she started chanting it. After a few times kit joined in. " You do it Liu." I said. " Hell no, its for you." " Its for both of you," Kit said." open it together!" " Fine." I said , then Liu and I started opening the box. Only to find over 2,000 small pink plastic pigs. " What the Hell is this?" I asked. "Piggy's !!" Kit said. " No shit , " Liu said, " what are they for?" "You!!! Oink! Oink! My good man!!!!" Sonya gleefully chimed in. " Christ, is that what you spent the 20 on?" I said. "Yep!" sonya said " Sonya wanted to buy 20 dollars of florescent condoms , but that may be useful, and we wouldent want that! Now would we?" No why would we want that. " John john, don't you like it?" Sonya asked in a hurt voice, with this cute little grin , she gets. "Oh, love it , if there's one thing I need in life its small plastic pigs." I said sarcastically , but apparently she was beyond sarcasm. " Good !! Now lets dance!!" she said. "Uhhh, no." " I shower you with gifts and this is how you thank me? . Kit, hold me! I know when I've ben insulted I know when I've been insulted!" Sonya sobbed as she " cried" on Kits shoulder. "Are you happy now, you big meanie?" Kit asked and patted Sonya's head. " Fine, ok, I'll dance , lets go." I said. " No , I don't want to now." she huffed. " Fine ," I said , "no skin off my ass!!" " I want to dance , now!" She insisted, changing her mind. We went out to the rink dink , dance floor, and started dancing. They where playing some dancy song, with a quick beat. Sonya starts slow dancing. Before long Kit and Liu where dancing like us , Liu just shrugged at me. This lasted for like five seconds, until they announced a kearoke machine. Sonya and Liu got a big grin on there faces, they started singing , such classics as, " what if god smoked cannabis?" , " The BRADY bunch theme" , and " my scrotum"., Liu and I decided that it was time to go home. We drug them off stage , only for them to run back on this time singing," Smells like teen spirit". After that old time fav., a fight broke out between Sonya and some girl. To make a long story short , all four of us are now banned for life, from the bar. So as we where being "escorted" out, sonya stopped by a phone booth with two people in it making out. Sonya tapped on the Glass and said " Hey , aren't you , Billy Corgan? Hey can I have your autograph? Who's that your with ? That's not Yaleena Yumchuck? Ain't you married? "At this time the girl in the booth was seriously pissed , and once again, My little Sonya was in a fight. In the car driving home, Sonya was up in front with me , and Liu and Kit where in the back, doing something you don't wanna know about. They didn't drive home alone because , there car had sugar in the gas tank. Complements of the girl in the bar fight . Anyway where driving, and Sonya's making toe prints on the window with her bear feet. Then she started to sing. " haven't you sung enough tonight?" I asked. " Nope. My jaw hurts." she said " Why did you get in that fight? " I asked "Which one?" " The first one." " She called you a fake." " She did?" I asked. " Yep" " That bitch!" " That's what I said, I was just' sticken up for you, sides' I didn't like her." " I think you proved that when you rubbed lemon wedges in her eyes." " Hey anything for you babe! Sides' it needed to be done. Do ya got any aspirin?" she asked sounding like she was In pain. " No, are you hurt real bad?' " No , its just the throbbing pain in my jaw for you" " Sorry, I think you got her back by pulling her around the parking lot by her hair." " You and Liu stopped us before we could tie her to the bumper", she said " ya big meanie." " oh I know your so abused." " I am." she said " Wait! Do you have my piggies?" "No." " Well turn back, I need them, there the only family I have left.!" "No" "Fine, asshole" "Fine!" "OWWW!!" she yelled "What?" " I stabbed my self. Teehee." "Your sick you know?" "Spanx!" "Spanx? Are you sure your ok?" " No" She said " What? Why?" " Cause, I shower you with gifts, sing to you defend you honor , and you don't even tell me you love me or kiss me." " Is that what you want ?" " Yes" " Fine I love you." I said. " ohh that was hart felt, how bout a kiss ?" " Well your drunk." " Has this stopped you before?" " No , but .." "Than what are you waiting for?" So I stop the car and pull over and kiss her for what seemed like forever, we would have kept going if she didn't need air . Unfourtunatly she did. When we stopped what little brains I had waved bye bye. " Sonya, I love you , marry me." "What ?" " You heard me." " Ask me again" " Sonya, I love you more than any thing , Marry me." She answered me in the lowest voice " yes" "What?" I asked "Yea, yes, yes yes!" I started to laugh and so did she. Now you may ask why this is so bad, but wedding's are a bitch. =================================================