Disclaimer- You know the drill, don't own em' don't claim to.

Thanks and dedications- Thanks to TJ, And Jess,,( I owe ya both. ),
Courtney Love , L7, and Kurt Cobain, (they are all my inspiration and I
would not be writing if it weren't for them.) And for Crystal, the girl
in the phone booth.

Notes- this is probably P.G.-13, low R , If you don't like bad words
don't read this.

Things you must know- this takes place after MKA, and John is alive and
well, and living with Sonya in L.A. Liu and Kit are also an "item".
O-tay.

Feed back is gleefully accepted, its only my second time writing
fan-fic, so tell me.

On wit' da show!!!

"Small plastic pigs"

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I like to think I'm a big enough person to admit when I've done
something stupid. Like when I had that lill' incident in the third
grade, when I asked my English teacher if his wig was a dead skunk on
his head. Oh and it seemed like a swell idea to tell a nun that she had
an uncanny resemblance to Larry King.  That's not smart either. But like
I said I can admit was wrong. 
All of those things are not even close to the dumbest thing I've ever
done. That would be taking my Girlfriend, Sonya to a bar. That's was
really, I'll tell you why.

First the fun filled evening from hell, started when Sonya took 2 ½
hours in the bath room to get ready to go to a bar. A bar for Christ
sake. A place where people go to get drunk and / or laid. The little
dive we had in mind that evening had creatures looking for both. 

We where supposed to meet Liu and Kit at the bar at 8:30. We got there
at 8:00 and got a table and waited . I told Sonya to get what ever she
wanted, so she did, it started with a Beer or two , or three, by the
time Liu and Kit got there she was on number 3.. It was amazing. I've
never seen a her drink that much in one night let alone a half hour. 

When they got there they both ordered a few drinks. In about a half hour
or so Kit was as Wasted as Sonya. They where whispering something to
each other while Liu and I talked , when Sonya asked me for a Twenty,
which I gave her, then she and kit ran like bats out of hell out of our
sight.

" What the hells gotten in to them?" Liu asked 

" A six pack." I answered.

+++++++++++++++++++++

20 minuets later.



The two of them come back with this big smile on both there faces. I
knew something was up. 

" what did you do with the 20?" I asked.

" uhh, oh the jukebox." she giggled.

" You spent the 20 on the Jukebox ? " I said.

" YeppYeppYepparoo!!!!!!!!" She said 

" Why don't I hear any music then?" Liu asked.

"Damn must be broken." Sonya said.

At that lovely note , a waitress, came to the table with a small brown
box, and said " You Johnny Cage ?"

"Yes"

" Here" she Said and handed me the box.

" what's this?"

" I Don't know ," she said, " You Want this or not?"

I looked at Sonya and Kit, who shook there heads at me . Then I looked
at Liu. He shrugged.

" I didn't ask for this or anything." I said

" I know , she said , they did." she said and pointed at Sonya.

" Yo Flo! You weren't supposed to tell!!!!" Sonya yelled.

 I saw that look of " Oh shit " pass over Liu's face, knowing Kit was
involved and just stayed quit.

" Do you want this or not?" the waitress said impatiently.

" Yhea I guess so." I said, " What the hell did you two do?"

"Bought you a present!!!" Kit piped up finally.

Oh God.

" Open it !! Open it !!!"  Sonya jumped up in down in her chair as she
started chanting it. After a few times kit joined in.

" You do it Liu." I said.

" Hell no, its for you."

" Its for both of you," Kit said." open it together!"


" Fine." I said , then Liu and I started opening the box. Only to find
over 2,000 small pink plastic pigs. 

" What the Hell is this?" I asked.

"Piggy's !!" Kit said. 

" No shit , " Liu said, " what are they for?"

"You!!! Oink! Oink! My good man!!!!" Sonya gleefully chimed in.

" Christ, is that what you spent the 20 on?" I said.

"Yep!" sonya said

" Sonya wanted to buy 20 dollars of florescent condoms , but that may be
useful, and we wouldent want that! Now would we?"

No why would we want that.

" John john, don't you like it?" Sonya asked in a hurt voice, with this
cute little grin , she gets.


"Oh, love it , if there's one thing I need in life its small plastic
pigs." I said sarcastically , but apparently she was beyond sarcasm.

" Good !! Now lets dance!!" she said.

"Uhhh, no."

" I shower you with gifts and this is how you thank me? . Kit, hold me!
I know when I've ben insulted I know when I've been insulted!"  Sonya
sobbed as she " cried" on Kits shoulder.

"Are you happy now, you big meanie?" Kit asked and patted Sonya's head.

" Fine, ok, I'll dance , lets go." I said.

" No , I don't want to now." she huffed.

" Fine ," I said , "no skin off my ass!!"

" I want to dance , now!" She insisted, changing her mind.

        We went out to the rink dink , dance floor, and started dancing. They
where playing some dancy song, with a quick beat. Sonya starts slow
dancing. Before long Kit and Liu where dancing like us , Liu just
shrugged at me. This lasted for like five seconds, until they announced
a kearoke machine.

        Sonya and Liu got a big grin on there faces, they started singing ,
such classics as, " what if god smoked cannabis?" , " The BRADY bunch
theme" , and " my scrotum"., Liu and I decided that it was time to go
home. We drug them off stage , only for them to run back on this time
singing," Smells like teen spirit". 

        After that old time fav., a fight broke out between Sonya and some
girl. To make a long story short , all four of us are now banned for
life, from the bar. So as we where being "escorted" out, sonya stopped
by a phone booth with two people in it making out. Sonya tapped on the
Glass and said " Hey , aren't you , Billy Corgan? Hey can I have your
autograph? Who's that your with ? That's not Yaleena Yumchuck? Ain't you
married? "At this time the girl in the booth was seriously pissed , and
once again, My little Sonya was in a fight. 

        In the car driving home, Sonya was up in front with me , and Liu and
Kit where in the back, doing something you don't wanna know about. They
didn't drive home alone because , there car had sugar in the gas tank.
Complements of the girl in the bar fight . Anyway where driving, and
Sonya's making toe prints on the window with her bear feet. Then she
started to sing.

" haven't you sung enough tonight?" I asked.

" Nope. My jaw hurts." she said

" Why did you get in that fight? " I asked

"Which one?"

" The first one."

" She called you a fake."

" She did?" I asked.

" Yep"

" That bitch!"

" That's what I said, I was just' sticken up for you, sides' I didn't
like her."

" I think you proved that when you rubbed lemon wedges in her eyes."

" Hey anything for you babe! Sides' it needed to be done. Do ya got any
aspirin?" she asked sounding like she was In pain.

" No, are you hurt real bad?'

" No , its just the throbbing pain in my jaw for you"

" Sorry, I think you got her back by pulling her around the parking lot
by her hair."

" You and Liu stopped us before we could tie her to the bumper", she
said " ya big meanie."

" oh I know your so abused." 

" I am." she said " Wait! Do you have my piggies?"

"No."

" Well turn back, I need them, there the only family I have left.!"

"No"

"Fine, asshole"

"Fine!"

"OWWW!!" she yelled

"What?"

" I stabbed my self. Teehee."

"Your sick you know?"

"Spanx!"

"Spanx? Are you sure your ok?"

" No" She said

" What? Why?"

" Cause, I shower you with gifts, sing to you defend you honor , and you
don't even tell me you love me or kiss me."

" Is that what you want ?"

" Yes"

" Fine I love you." I said.

" ohh that was hart felt, how bout a kiss ?"

" Well your drunk."

" Has this stopped you before?"

" No , but .."

"Than what are you waiting for?"

So I stop the car and pull over and kiss her for what seemed like
forever, we would have kept going if she didn't need air . Unfourtunatly
she did. When we stopped what little brains I had waved bye bye.

" Sonya, I love you , marry me."

"What ?" 

" You heard me."

" Ask me again"

" Sonya, I love you more than any thing , Marry me."

She answered me in the lowest voice " yes"

"What?" I asked

"Yea, yes, yes yes!"

I started to laugh and so did she.

Now you may ask why this is so bad, but wedding's are a bitch.
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