Sigh.... Yep that about covers how I feel at this moment in time. You'd think I'd feel better, I mean I just averted another disaster between those two. But I don't. I feel lousy.

Anyway. They were fighting again... well not really fighting. But not speaking... she complained that he didn't care enough to make an effort... and him. Well he was just trying to pretend it didn't mean anything to him. It did of course, that was how I was finally able to talk him in too going to talk to her.

So they talked, made up and everything is better now. For them. I'll never admit to either of them... or anyone how much it cost me to do it. I love him. When they're fighting he pays much more attention to me. Trying to make sure I don't take her side against him. Like I ever would take sides between them. But that attention. It's wonderful to be the center of his focus every so often. I knew when I started convincing him to talk to her I'd lose that. But I think it hurt me more seeing my friends suffer then losing that will hurt.

So here I am... alone as usual... preparing myself to be ignored. But I'll live... survive and go on... It's something I've gotten rather good at. Maybe if I'm lucky it'll hold me together until someone special enough to make me love them comes along. Someone who shines brighter then him. Or not, it will never happen. No one can take his place; maybe someone will come close. But never will I love anyone more then him.