I need some whiskey mother,
I'm feeling frisky mother,
[CHORUS]
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night,
No, not my brother mother,
I need another lover,
[CHORUS]
Rats, bugs, and other critters,
They just give me the jitters,
[CHORUS]
Hamsters won't make it mother,
They just can't take it mother,
[CHORUS]
Oh, God, I really wanna,
Bring me the greased iguana,
[CHORUS]
Bring me the preacher's daughter,
I'll show you what I taguht her,
[CHORUS]
No, not my auntie Mary,
Her legs are much too hairy,
[CHORUS]
Bring me the PVC pipe,
This gerbil looks like my type,
[CHORUS]
Don't bother bringing father,
He isn't worth the bother,
[CHORUS]
Give my regards to sister,
Lord knows I really missed her,
[CHORUS]
Down in the fields of heather,
Come join the whips and leather,
[CHORUS]
Sheep are so soft and fleecy,
but lanolin is really greasy
England may rule the waves,
But Scotland's depraved.