NEW GAME RELEASE!

     Wight-Woof, innovators of the StorageFiller system, announces a new game in its World of Mood-Lighting-ness.  From the same game company which brought you gothic punk, making free agent cannibalism chic with the intrigues of the batboys in Umpire: The Mass-Marketing . . . who brought you pseudo-Native Americans in WolfTribe-Wannabes: The Assimilating (New Age punk) . . . who brought you postgraduate politics with Merde: The Academics (postmodern punk in the Ivory Tower) . . . who milked your appetites further with Wrought: The Oh-so-depressing! (casper punk) and Nerdling: The Daydreamers (couch potato punk) . . .

Now Wight-Woof introduces a whole new punk genre into the World of Mood-Lighting-ness with:

       In Barniecraft: The Saccharinizing, players play one of the six Cute-Kith.  Each Cute-Kith has its own sucromantic gifts.  The six major Cute-Kith are:

     CareWereBears.  As servants of GollyGeea, CareWereBears can shapeshift from fully bald humans into hairy domesticated bears.  Their three forms are 1) human who has no hair (Fuzzy-Wuzzy), 2) gooey bouncing bruin in punk hair colors (Gummed-up Bear), and 3) an intermediate form that excels at Asian cooking and inordinately tacky merchandising (the Eek!Wok!) .  CareWereBears study Greeting Card Incantations.

     My-Kavian-Ponies.  The My-Kavian-Ponies appear in two colors: pink is for girls and blue is for boys.  They have the sucromantic gift to enchant little girls into wearing pink dresses and fainting at the sight of mice or spiders and to enchant little boys into forgetting everything except sports statistics and models of cars.   My-Kavian-Ponies can also enchant children to tickle them for hours without rest -- this modus operandi is called the Tickle-My-Kavian m.o.

     BradyMage Bunch.  The wizards of the Cute-Kith . . .  the entire BradyMage Bunch are sugarbonded to each other.  Their greatest sucromantic spells are 1) hastening time so that they always find their solutions within a half-hour and 2) Alice-summoning, the powerful incantation which summons their Goddess of Ultimate Tidiness.

     Smurfazoids.  Cute-Kith with a severe daddy complex, they have descended from a gnome who held his breath till he turned blue and then forgot to stop holding it; in their perpetual oxygen deprivation, they no longer remember how to wear shirts.  Each Smurfazoid is named after its nature and demeanor.  Smurfazoids have the sucromantic gifts to turn their personalities one dimensional at will (but often can't turn this gift off) and turn into gold if they're boiled alive first (this last gift they try to keep hidden from the other Cute-Kith!).

     Spice Ghouls.  Every Spice Ghoul is named after its nature and demeanor, leading to the suspicion that they were originally Smurfazoid zombies.  The Spice Ghouls must chant "Ghoul Power! " over and over again to use their sucromantic gifts.  They have the power to mesmerize adolescent males and to sing even if (especially if) they lack any singing talent on their character sheets.

     Barnie-saurus Rex.  These cottoncandy-colored carnosaurs are the most powerful of the Cute-Kith!  Any Barnie-saurus Rex has the sucromantic gift to simultaneously hypnotize and control all children under 9 years old and nauseate all adults whenever it sings.  For some reason, neither captains nor kangaroos (nor spiny echidna, we imagine) bear much fondness for Barnie-saurs.

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