This web page was written on 3-11-2001 at 11:23pm whilst listening to NIN and fighting the urge to play playstation games.

MY THEORIES ON MAGIC THUS FAR...

What is it? Magic I mean. It's as screwed up a question as what does God look like if he doesn't exist or what is the colour of a large bang. It's a nonsense question because no one can answer it; only express an opinion.

Yet, luckily, I know what I mean by it. I mean exerting my will upon the universe at large. Changing the outside via the inside. If I was to describe it like some elusive beard stroking mystic that is. To be honest, I can't quite describe it. Every time I get the words down I find a niggling little part of my own definition that I can't pin down. That just isn't right. So here goes, for now. To pursue magic is to chase after the opposite of logic. If the universe is made up of binary pairs, and I have no proof it is, then logic must have an opposite form and force. Chaos, or magic or whatever you want to call it.

Logic works on the principle that everything follows certain laws. Always follows those laws and those laws are unchanging. What if the opposing force is actually chaos, in the romantic definition of the word. A state by which the universe obeys different rules at different times in different places. It may be possible to cause something, say a talisman to have an effect on the universe that the physical object can never have. Logical study of the item will show no reason for it to be the cause of any effect and may even find causes in the surrounding environment. This is because the device has used mutable universal principles to gather circumstance together, to form an effect.

Maybe. As I said, I don't know. I have felt the pressure upon my will from somebody else's spell, before. I have felt an urge to bend to their will which was not a native desire. If they can do that to me, then I can do it also. I just have to figure out how. One thing I am sure of, I do not need to pray or worship another for this ability. It is part of me. I can't justify this statement except to say that when I say it, I feel absolutely sure I am telling the truth. But there is one of those niggles. Whilst I'm sure I don't need to worship or invoke in another's name, I do feel that such a path is possible. I think it would be a bad idea (like going to the Bank for a loan when you have enough money at home) and would be less rewarding in the long run.

Perhaps the will is a muscle of sorts. Something that can be trained and exercised. This would explain the position of meditation within some practices of magic. But then all the hippies and yuppies that took up meditation for the benefit of their inner peace would have developed magical powers, unless they were doing it wrong or there is more to it still.

Who is to say they didn't? Perhaps magic is to do with separating your will from reality. Reality is, after all, a logical fabrication of the majority opinion (I am, of course, talking primarily here of the psychological definition of reality and not the physical, yet even the physical must be mutated or altered at some point). 

Maybe it is our belief in logic and its determination that creates reality, and we need to transcend reality to be able to reshape it. It is, for instance, impossible to pick your feet off the floor with your hands whilst stood up. Go on, try it. It's amusing. But to pick up a heavier load than your legs is easy.

I'm devolving into metaphors here. Metaphors combined with metaphysics is not a good idea. I think I'll end this here, as I'm not sure where I want to go with this. I'll just end by pointing out that Alistair Crowley and the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn claim that the Will is the only driving force behind magick, that it is the beginning and the end of enlightenment. Yet Crowley and many others worshiped other more powerful beings, Crowley defining himself as a Satanic worshipper.

I'll look into this further. Keep watch.