"HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!"

See, I, Sharon, your eldest daughter, remembered you. I've always remembered you. No matter how you've put me and the others to the back of your mind and ......well, you'd have to have one to be able to say "Heart".

Although, in all honesty I can say Happy Father's Day to the "Father" that once existed in my life. The one who made sure I got to the doctor when I was sick with Strep Throat, the one who came in my defense when Steve Wion slapped a tack into my arm in the 12th grade. The one who insisted on "family nights" on Fridays.

But, I think that's all I can recall of a "Father" in my life. Oh, well, there were the times he showed up on the other end of the phone at Christmas, asking for forgiveness of his sins, and "can we please start over again as Father and Daughter?" And, then again, on your supposed "Death Bed", when you beckoned for me to come to your side, and cried and welcomed me with open arms, saying, "Sherrie, you did come. Come here." And you hugged me tight and continued crying, begging me to be forgiving once again, as you apologized for all the trouble you've caused me in my life, because of your "sickness".

Oh, I know so much more about that sickness now. How you inherited it!! YES! Your Uncle Barney did sexually molest me and my sister all those times he came to visit us before he ended up in prison for child molestation, but I think you already knew that. I know about Grandma and Grandpa, too...and all the rest

. Oh, what a beautiful life we were subjected to as children, wasn't it? No, maybe your "Sickness" wasn't your fault, however, I didn't inherit it! But, I forgave you, anyway. Afterall, isn't that what Jesus would have done..."until their last dying breath"....I was raised to be Christ-like...we all were, weren't we?

However, the last abuse of my body, heart and soul, you got away with, will NOT be forgiven!!
It's been nearly two years, Daddy. TWO YEARS since I heard you ask me right up front, "Can you ever forgive me and can we please be a real Father and Daughter?" Of course, I said "Yes." I never had that fully in my life before, did I? I never knew what a Father-Daughter relationship was in real terms. I thought I might actually get to know that with my own father after all these years before I die....but, alas, it was Never meant to be! You cut me off after I absolved you of your sins and you found out you weren't going to die, afterall. You used me one last time to free yourself of your darkness, your sins, your guilt!! Then, after I set you free, you miraculously got so much better you left the hospital in record time, doing very well. I called you at home to talk to you, and Oh, you didn't have time to talk to me, you had company, we'd talk later.....LATER NEVER CAME!

My address and phone number never changed until now! You could have called, you could have come to visit me again, we could have had that famous "Father- Daughter" relationship you begged for so often. But you chose to throw me aside just like you did the rest of YOUR........."YOUR" KIDS! YOUR CHILDREN......YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD, for those most perfect children of a more perfect woman, who made your life miserable, but, who lived up to the same standards of society that you always wanted but didn't find with MOM and YOUR KIDS!

You played mom and hurt her beyond belief, but did you care? Hell, no! When I finally told about you to Aunt Bertie and then Mom, and she kicked you out of our lives, what happened? You weedled your way back into her heart.....you knew her like the back and palm of your hand, and so you played her and got her to let you come home. I hated HER for that, and I've told her so. Now, I'm telling you......I HATE YOU......not for the sexual abuse...that ruined most of my life, as I've been in therapy and learning to deal with all of that, but I HATE YOU FOR PLAYING ON MY SYMPATHY AND GOOD HEART....for faking a plea for absolution and forgiveness...for faking a desire to start a new real relationship with me and the others.
Yes, you told me you wanted to see them while you were in the hospital and they came, you wanted to have a relationship with all of us, as we were your own kids, but, OH NO>>>>>all they did was cause you to be in more pain after they made the trip to see a man they actually had learned to LOATHE, still in a small part of their hearts, hoping that THEIR REAL FATHER still loved them and wanted him to be a part of their lives. YOUR WIFE AND HER PERFECT CHILDREN SAW TO IT THAT THAT WOULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN, DIDN'T THEY? They couldn't let you get that close to your own children and have a life with us....that might mean they'd end up only getting half of whatever you have left as inheritance. They want it all.
Well, they can have it. All we ever wanted from you was some show that you wanted to be a father to us, a part of our lives......a REAL PART OF OUR LIVES AS OUR FATHER!!! YOU made us, WE deserved that, She had no right to rob us of our "Daddy".

Yeah, I've heard her say it before, "all St*** and Bil**** ever wanted from their dad was MONEY!"
No, they never got the kind of love and attention and affection from you that they wanted and so they did what they could to try to get you to show you cared.
None of us wanted MONEY......we wanted LOVE.....a real "Father's" LOVE....the kind that I'm sure you may have shared with HER kids. That's what we resented most. Well, the younger ones did...afterall, I still had Your love, didn't I? We still spoke from time to time.

Je***** was your little girl....your baby girl....she never did anything to hurt you, she was the reason you even got to come home that time, because she didn't understand what was going on and why her daddy couldn't come home. Mom hated hearing her cry at night for missing you. So, why on earth did you turn your back on her? Why did you treat her like she was just a money magnet after you and Mom divorced. Why did you blame the younger ones for wanting YOUR money, when you and mom were the ones fighting over SUPPORT. And whether you lived with them or not, you still would have been spending money on them to "support" them...that's the way things are.

That's the only reason you wouldn't divorce your present wife so long ago, when we talked, and you were so miserable. You couldn't afford to lose all your money, so better to stay miserable with her and her kids, and forced to sleep in your own dirty room, than with her in her most perfect bedroom of antiques and such.....what's the matter, were you too dirty to sleep on her sheets? Your room was so dark, done in Black and so messy...unbelievable for a man who demanded order and cleanliness in OUR house....your bed was unmade, your clothes lying around everywhere, everything unkempt. Even your bathroom was done in Black....did this reflect YOU?????

Well, with all this said and done, I just want to tell you, that I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU FOR THE PAIN YOU'VE CAUSED MOM AND THE OTHER KIDS. I CAN ENDURE MY OWN, BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR, IS THE LAST BLATANT ABUSE OF MY LOVE AND FEELINGS FOR YOU, ABUSE OF MY FORGIVING HEART AND SPIRIT TO ABSOLVE MY SO-CALLED FATHER, WHEN YOU CUT ME OFF LIKE A GANGRENOUS PENIS!! THINK ABOUT IT!

If you ever decide you want absolution and forgiveness again....you'll have to wait until "I" die, and then you can get down on your knees and ask me in front of GOD, the HOLY FATHER. I really would hate to be in YOUR shoes when you finally make that trip over there to that side. I'm sure He's not too pleased with you, no matter what words you say to him, He knows your heart! He knows you only want to make sure you make into Heaven, if you even believe in such a place. And, if you don't, well, you'll spend a really LONG time right here in HELL!!! You'll have to spend what may seem to be an eternity waiting in OUR pain and anger and hatred until WE die and come over there for you to face, with God behind us and Jesus at our sides. As we will come to Him as little children, and you will have to account for the unforgivable and unspeakable atrocities you've bestowed upon us.
Mom, the kids, and I have all lived in Hell long enough, I'm sure we won't be sharing much, if any space in Heaven with you! Yes, I know, I'll have to deal with God on this account, myself, but I'm not afraid, He knows why I feel this way, and HE loves me. He's given me the strength to carry on, when others in my position would have committed suicide...oh, don't think for a moment I never considered it...I even tried it, thanks to you......but, God wants me here for another reason.
To educate people about people like you, and your parents, your Uncle Barney, Grandpa Sp****, and Uncle B****...and countless others....Oh, yes...they all had me when I was little, while you were having me, too. Oh, excuse me, no, Grandpa Sp**** never had ME, but he had your sisters, and treated Mom like crap. See, I come from a long line of sick abusive people, on both sides, but I've lived to stop the cycle of abuse. My own children were not raised with it, and it is totally appalling to them. They would sooner kill someone like you, as to look at them. They are very protective of me, as I've been of them.

I'm here to help others who are surviving such atrocities. Letting them know they are not alone. And NONE of what they have endured is their fault, and that it does not have to continue, but most of all, letting people know there is LOVE.......real true unconditional, God-given Love, that you could have had, too, from us, until you decided to turn your back on us all. You had your chance to change things between your own children and yourself, but you let HER call the shots and convince you we were there only waiting and hoping you'd die so maybe we'd get an inheritance....I'm sure that's what she's told you. She certainly rushed them out of your room after she discovered they were all there. She made a big stink about "how dare they all come to see you now while you're on your death bed, but they never came to see you any other time." Well, excuse me, but they were never invited, nor welcomed at your home. Aunt Jo*** played right along with it.
Did you tell THEM that YOU had asked for YOUR kids to come and be with you? I doubt it, you probably didn't have the balls, and I should know, of all people! Well, if you'll let her keep you away from your own kids for the rest of your life, then you aren't much of a man nor a Father.

You've missed out on some wonderful times in your own children's lives and your own grandchildren's lives! Speaking only on behalf of my own family, just so you know, I own a successful web page building business, making good money from it, creating and maintaining many commercial and private web sites. Joe is still in the Navy and we are getting along better than ever and loving each other more than we ever did before. We are renewing our wedding vows next month on our 6th anniversary, Bil****'s husband, who is an ordained minister, is officiating. She's arranging the wedding and Mom and J****** and her family are going to be there to give their blessing this time. Joe's very good to me and the kids. Brad is graduating this year from High School, was captain of his swim team, which awarded him Most Valuable Swimmer 3 times this year alone. He also won a trophy in the Regionals, and an award for "Most Outstanding Swimmer, not to mention 14 medals in all his competitions. He will be "assistant coach" of next years' team, as he loves the sport. He also was captain of his soccer team and Goalie. He now works at a prestigious Ford Lincoln Mercury Dealership as a mechanic and is going to school to excel in that profession. Shannon graduated two years ago with Honors and has been going to college majoring in accounting, to become a CPA. She's working two jobs to put herself through and sharing an apartment with friends in Troy. Jodie has divorced Brian, given custody of the kids to him and gone off on her own.

We are all doing quite well on our own and we didn't, nor do we need YOUR money! We only needed and wanted YOUR LOVE. God forgive you for your selfishness and God forgive me for not being able to forgive you this time for these past two years.

Again, I say, "HAPPY FATHER'S DAY"