Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his

success.

 

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my

wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette

 

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel

Coward, 1956

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa

Gabor

 

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. -

Zsa Zsa Gabor

 

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep

her. - Sacha Guitry

 

Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman

 

She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she

finds one. - Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee

 

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe-

Jackie Mason

 

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and

those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne

 

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't

face each other, but still they stay together. -- Hemant Joshi

 

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad

one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man. -

Socrates

 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A

successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

 

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.- Mae West

 

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

 

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ...

 

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.

 

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the

triumph of hope over experience.

 

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when

they try to decide which one.

 

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

 

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y'

becomes silent.

 

Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry

someone that you cannot live without.

 

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

 

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you

say, talk in your sleep.

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