Season Two

Orphan of War

Xena arrives at the edge of Centaur lands in search of a warlord called Dagnen who was once a member of her army. She is certain he is searching for a stone that contains all the evil of the Centaur race in the hope it will bring him massive powers. After a fight with his men, she has a tense meeting with a Centaur named Kalyipus to whom she had made a promise never return to his lands many years before. At the end of the meeting, a young boy jumps down from the trees and tries to attack her - after he is called off by Kalyipus, Xena confesses to Gabrielle that the boy, Solan, is her son. Having promised the Centaurs that they will help with the fight against Dagnen, Gabrielle and Xena are welcomed into the Centaur village. Meanwhile Dagnen is using the services of a warlock with a home made telescope to try and find out what Xena is up to and catches a piece of the conversation about her son. Dagnen kidnaps the boy and holds him captive in his camp, and of course Xena comes to rescue him. During the rescue attempt, Xena and Solan find themselves in the Ixion Caverns, the place the mythical stone is supposed to be and are pursued by Dagnen. They discover the stone had been found and hidden elsewhere by Solan's father, and proceed to escape. In the process, Solan drops his father's sword and the handle breaks open revealing the stone, which falls into Dagnen's hands. Dagnen makes an elixir my melting the stone and drinks it and becomes the evil Centaur described by myth, and proceeds to attack the Centaur village.

No Sleazy warlords who deem it necessary to drink magic elixers that turn them into sealy centaurs were harmed during

the production of this motion picture.

Remember Nothing

When Xena defends their temple from attacking thieves, the three Fates appear to her and offer her anything she wants as thanks for her help. She asks that they change history so that her brother didn't die fighting along side her and that she is no longer a warrior. They agree but warn her that the first time she kills, the timeline will revert to how it was before they interfere. As Xena explores this other reality, she struggles to find a way to help those she loves without going down the path that led her to being a Warrior. This becomes increasingly difficult, not least when she discovers that Gabrielle is a slavegirl in this other reality...

Xena's memory was not damaged or...

...what was I saying?

Giant Killer

Xena returns to a graveyard full of giant's bones on the tenth anniversary of a battle, and is met there by Goliath, a giant and former friend. She soon discovers that Goliath is working as a mercenary for the Philistines who are trying to subdue a race called the Israelites. Seeing how they are being treated, Xena soon ends up on the other side from Goliath and has to prepare to face him in battle. She finds her loyalties strained to breaking point when she realises she is going to have to kill him.

No Bible myths or Icons were irreparably mangled

during the production of this motion picture.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

(This is a fav. of mine)

When they hear of six abductions of local girls, Xena and Gabrielle venture into the woods where the Bacchae are known to live to try and recover them. No sooner do they enter than they meet Joxer who is being pursued by wolves who are almost definitely in truth the Bacchae. After fighting them off, Joxer opens the bag he was carrying and shows it's contents to Xena - it is the head of Orpheus, the musician who keeps Bacchus the god of wine and his deadly bloodsucking followers the Bacchae at bay. Deprived of his body by Bacchus, he can no longer play his lyre and thus the Bacchae are on the loose. Returning to the place where he left his lyre, they found his friend murdered and the lyre gone. A festival is in full swing and Gabrielle is drawn into dancing with two women who may well be Bacchae themselves. Separately pair of thieves come on two girls carrying the lyre and attempt to steal it from them, a bad move since the girls are Bacchae. Having been unable to recover the lyre, Xena and party attempt to enter the caves where Bacchus and his followers dwell, a task hampered by the fact that Gabrielle becomes a Bacchae herself. Drawn into Bacchus web of depravity, Gabrielle turns on her friends and only by becoming a Bacchae herself can Xena hope to complete her mission and save Gabrielle.

No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the

production of this motion picture. However a few Driads lost their heads.

Return of Callisto

It's feeding time at a prison and a new prison warder is being shown the ropes as they dish out a thick porridge to each prisoner. The new warder is told to be especially careful of one prisoner - a young blonde woman (Callisto) strapped down in a huge confining chair. She torments the warder and enraged he goes in and hits her, giving her the opportunity to relieve him of a knife. She uses it to escape her bonds and her cell and slaughters all the prison warders. Meanwhile Perdicus finds Xena and Gabrielle and proposes to Gabrielle, who while initially unsure in the end agrees to marry him. Joxer arrives with the news that Callisto has escaped. Gabrielle marries Perdicus and together they set off for home while Xena and Joxer plan to stop Callisto. Xena puts her pinch on Theodorus and discovers that Callisto has followed Gabrielle and plans to kill her as a way of destroying all Xena cares about. Callisto catches up with the unarmed Gabrielle and Perdicus in some swampy marshes and is about to kill Gabrielle when Xena arrives; Xena stops her but as Callisto leaves she kills Perdicus. After a funeral pyre for Perdicus, Gabrielle insists that Xena teach her how to kill with a sword so that she can go after Callisto herself - this Xena is extremely unwilling to do. Knowing that Xena will stand in her way, Gabrielle tells Xena that she's going home to mourn, but instead goes into Callisto's stronghold and plans to kill her. When she gets there however she realises that all of those who love her have valued her blood innocence and moral values above all else, and she cannot strike the blow. She is soon a prisoner of Callisto, and Xena is soon also caught and tied up in Callisto's prison chair, while Gabrielle is tied up and burnt at the stake. Joxer rushes in an attempt to save them but is soon captured, but not before his actions have allowed Xena to retrieve her Chakrum.

Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis

Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her leather unmentionables.