Today, there is no longer just a few deviant teens who use alcohol and drugs. It’s often the teen who does not “use” who is made to feel left out. The use and misuse of alcohol and other drugs is so widespread that it touches each of us. No family is spared the concern about these problems.

There are many pressures on our youth that actually encourage drug use and the consumption of alcohol. The most powerful is the influence of friends. Pro-drug alcohol messages are evident in the media; and acknowledged drug use by rock stars and athletes tend to glamorize it and promote its acceptability.

While we try our best to provide guidelines, we continue to feel helpless. We sense that peer pressure and society’s temptations are greater influences than our own parental guidance. If we band together, we will be more effective in providing a drug-free/alcohol free community environment for our teenagers.

Since drugs and alcohol are often consumed at teenage (and young adult) parties, the following suggestions are offered for parents whose children host or attend parties. Although these guidelines may be too restrictive for some families and too permissive for others, each family should consider them in light of their values.

- A parent should be home during the party. Be visible – bring in snacks, etc. Your visibility will help keep the party running smoothly and will give you an opportunity to meet your child’s friends. Decide which part of the house or apartment will be used for the party. If it is a main room, your presence will seem more natural, and it will be easier to supervise. Ask other responsible adults to help chaperon the party.

- Alcohol or other drugs should not be served or available. You may be liable both to criminal charges and for monetary damages in a civil lawsuit if you furnish alcohol or drugs to minors. Be alert to the signs of alcohol or drug use. Guests who attempt to bring in alcohol or drugs or who otherwise are uncooperative should be promptly told to leave. If anyone arrives at the party under the influence of alcohol or another drug, call their parents to ensure his/her safe transportation home. DO NOT let a person drive when under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

- Anyone who leaves the party should not be allowed to return. This will discourage people from leaving with the intent of drinking or using drugs elsewhere and then returning to the party.

- Limit party attendance and times. Whenever possible, make a guest list and send out invitations. It is important to discourage crashers. - Avoid open-house parties. It is difficult for both the parents and the youth to control this kind of party. - Set time limits which will enable teens to be home at a reasonable time.

- Set ground rules with your teen or young adult beforehand. This will give you both a good opportunity to express feelings and concerns. - Let your child know your expectations of him/her. - Help them understand your philosophy of non-alcohol and non-drug parties.

- Notify your neighbours beforehand. Encourage the party holder to call or send a note to close neighbours encouraging them to let you know if there is too much noise and assuring them that the party will be properly planned and supervised.

- Plan to have plenty of food and nonalcoholic drinks.

- Plan activities with your child prior to the party.

- Get to know your children’s friends and their parents.

- Many parties occur spontaneously. When they do, parents and the youths should understand that the above guidelines are in effect.

If, despite your precautions, things get out of hand, do not hesitate to call your security and/or police for assistance.

WARNING!!!!
HOMES WHERE PARENTS ARE ABSENT ARE FREQUENT PARTY SITES. If you must be out of town while your teen/youth remains at home, make appropriate arrangements such as having a friend, relative or neighbour live in while you are away or at least keep a constant check on things.

When your teen or young adult is attending a party…..

- Contact the parents of the party giver to: Verify the occasion.

- Be sure that a parent will be present. - Be certain that alcohol and other drugs will not be permitted.

- Know where your teen/young adult will be: Assure your child that you or a specified friend or neighbour can be called if he/she needs a ride home. - discuss with your child the possible situations which might necessitate such a call. - If you are not going to be home, let your teen know where you can be reached.

- Be sure your teen/young adult understands when he/she is supposed to be home.

- Be awake or have your child awaken you when he/she arrives. This is often a good sharing time.

- If your teen/young adult is staying overnight with a friend following a party, check with the parents of the friend beforehand to verify that: This is acceptable to them. - They will be at home.

- You both agree on curfew hours and other basic house rules.

Reasonable curfew hours are necessary for the safety of teenagers and young adults that are still living at home. And for the peace of mind of their parents. The following curfews are recommended for Friday and Saturday nights – for parties, dates and other planned activities: (I know you will get an argument about these but they are just guidelines and it is up to you to set your own times)

Curfews may vary, but no high schooler should be given unlimited hours. Teenagers should be discouraged from going out on school nights unless they are attending planned school or community functions. On these weekday evenings, the teenagers attending scheduled activities should be expected home within a reasonable time of the conclusion of the event.

If teenagers are spending the evening in unstructured “hanging out” they should be home earlier than if they are attending a supervised activity. Driving around with no particular destination should be discouraged, as should “hanging around malls”, since these are occasions when many teens find themselves in undesirable situations.

Parents of junior high and grade school children should set reasonable limits for them also. Parents should always know where their children are and make certain that appropriate transportation is provided.

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verwatch@netcom.ca

 

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