(pictures forthcoming)

Neil - a writer from England. What part of England he won't say. Due to his inability to colour co-ordinate his wardrobe, he wears all black and is mystified as to why this endears him to the goth kids.

Tim - an American filmmaker. He likes Hawaiin shirts and Edward Gorey, and it's rumoured rats nest in his hair. He seems to have some sort of freakish relationship with Danny.

Fat Bob - an English singer.songwriter, who is (as his name implies) fat. It's unclear whether his obesity is caused by his depression, or his depression caused by his obesity. He cannot put on lipstick properly, leading us to suspect he has cerebral palsey.

Danny - A musician.

Uncle Andy - An enigmatic Englishman with the air of a royal god. Or rather, the snotty attitude of one who thinks he's a god.

Uber-Man - A gay German superhero.

Bloat-Boy - Uber-Man's sidekick. His power is to make people bloated.