(Just so you don't freak out, I am temporarily AOL 3.0 impaired right now - I warned it not to drink too much of that Zima - but AOL 2.5 is here to rescue the day, so to speak...)
minimalist (BBcorno)
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Perot can stay, but the Klingon in the cantaloupe suit has to leave! (Fig Mage 2)
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You have got to be the dumbest person on earth! You fired at the ground and MISSED!!!!! (Fig Mage 2)
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Can I be sure I can trust you? I mean, it's very hard to take a bisexual rabbit wearing a mask and smoking rat jerky seriously. (Fig Mage 2)
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Uh, ANTAGONIST rules (Redtode384)
(Yes, I did get my ANTAGONIST rules booklet right here...oh, you mean, ANTAGONIST "rules", well, that just might be right...)
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Don't bug me (SPSkiGirl)
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And now, for your listening pleasure, I give you Snoop Doggy Dog's rendition of the Beatles' "The fool on the hill." Enjoy. Please refrain from shooting your weapons untill after the show. o/~ Day aftah day... alone on da hiiiyl, da maaaan wit da foo' ish grin is sittin puh-fectly stiiiyl. But nobody wants ta know him, dey can see dat he's just a foo'. He nevah gives an ansah... but da foo' on da hill... takes his .45 outta his drawers... and da eyes in his head see da people fallin down... o/~ PS- why yes, it's the infamous JaguarMel under her disguise... {{{bum bum BUM!}}} (Dazed12489)
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The Random Game has been constipated for too long. (MooGeneric)
(Actually, there has been a lot of that going around AOL a lot lately - rumors of Prodigy spiking our water with Ex-Lax are almost confirmed, so stay tuned...)
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SO, SKATE 3080, been to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe recently?? (SMAC48)
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Wonderful, wonderful, great...great.... (MooGeneric)
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Do you happen to have a mattress for Aunt Flow? (MooGeneric)
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I have one VERY IMPORTANT thing to say: SEMPER UBI SUB UBI. THat's latin ya know. It means: ALWAYS WEAR UNDERWEAR. See, now you know. (SMAC48)
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Unisex? I've 'eard of it, but I neva' tried it. (FireFlashX)
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My dog and I blink in unison. (Mr Onliner)
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UNBREAK MY HEAAAAAAAAART! AND FIX MY SIIIIIIIIIIIIINK! (Mr Onliner)
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I get a wierd feeling when I listen to Melissa Etheridge sing "I Wanna Come Over". Cause she's singing to another chick, ya know. (Mr Onliner)
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What's going on with them Mexicans, man? Stealin' all our words like "tacos" and "burittos". Crazy tostados! That's what they is! (Mr Onliner)
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I would of done it to if it hadnt been for those meddling kids and that dog. (ToddG03)
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How do you know if you have a supernatural turkey?
A. Chances are, if your turkey gets up in the middle of the meal, and triumphantly announces, "Hey there! Im Mr. Supernatural Turkey!", then its supernatural.
B. It looks like Elvis.
C. The man who sold it to you had a big sign up that said "Dont blame me if your turkey kills you."
D. After every bite, your turkey screams, "Hey Bub, have a little respect for a dead turkey!" (Tocadisco)
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I'm not German, really, I'm not (Tocadisco)
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It's been a long time since i played this game. Ahhh, sweet Paris (Tocadisco)
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Three cheers to MagicClams and Biochick, whatever happened to them? We should have a reunion. It got bloody in the end but you know what they say? Kumala vicera! (Tocadisco)
(To be serious for a moment, as far as I know, Toca, Bio has gone off of AOL and as for Magic, I haven't a clue...)
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Hoy es lunes, hoy es lunes, lunes queso, todos tienen hambre, vamos a comer. (Forty9erss)
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***The condition statement "If p, then q," which is discussed in lesson 2-1, in symbolized as P-->Q. This is also read as "p implies q" and as "q follows p" The truth table for p --> q is shown at the right. Notice that the only time a conditional is false is when the hypothesis p is true and the conclusion q is false.*** I just thought I'd give you an insert from my geometry book so you HOs get a little education. (Forty9erss)
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!emitemos ti yrt yllaer dluohs uoY !nuf si yllaer sdrawkcab gnitirw ,srelkceH wonk uoY (Forty9erss)
(!yademos ti yrt ll'I kniht I .ssre9ytroF ,uoy knahT)
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I'd rather sit on a pumpkin than have to sit next to you on a nice silk cushion. (Forty9erss)
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I didn't mean it! IM SORRY@aol.com (Forty9erss)
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This game is fun, cause, you know, you can just type randomly. (Forty9erss)
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what the??? (NikkiAnt)
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OHHHHH I get it!!!! Mum's the word. (AltControl)
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I saw some ICE once... it was cool... it was slippery and you could slide on it... i tried it out... i fell down... i sued God for making the ice... i didn't win because God had his own "dreamteam"... i guess you just can't beat the almighty..... ,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,.,..,.,.,,.,,., ........................................................................................................... (AltControl)
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hello (TPogosyan)
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iamalittleteapotshortandstouthereismyhandleandhereisSLYFOX'sdailyaffairmation.................DON'TFORGETTOREMEMBER (SlyFox2118)
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHhhhhh.... (CDMuffy)
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Alright, I'm back...it was a small boycott...and I just couldn't stay away any longer....aren't ya'll happy that I have returned??? (Pretti 0ne)
(Of course we are, Pretti 0ne...)
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I need tokens!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Pretti 0ne)
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I thnik I sufefr form tpying dsylxeia. (Pretti 0ne)
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well, I just checked, and dammit...Erik Estrada will not die!!!!!!!! (Pretti 0ne)
(Yeah, what is up with that? Larry Wilcox needs the notoriety far more than Erik...)
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and what happened to Retina Burn???? (Pretti 0ne)
(Something about a class-action lawsuit or something over damaged corneas...)
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I am not in a really good mood, can you tell?? (Pretti 0ne)
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ate
bait
date
fate
gate
hate
kate
late
mate
nate
pate
rate
tate
wait
why in the hell did I just do that? (Pretti 0ne)
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Do you know how hard it was to find 'The lame joke of the day' !?!?!? Well it was realy hard. And I was looking way into the night. The time that it is almost imposible to re-sign on again. Soon I was forced to go help my cousin with a Thanksgiving decoration. My mom wanted to sign on so I told her about how it would be impossible for her to sign on or me to re-sign on once I was signed off. Fourtunaty I had just been put on to AOL's new billing system. She took an oath promasing that she whould only take a look around at things. I came back into the computer room later and found her laughing at something of course she had seen HO and so the first thing I realised I had to get her out of there before she saw any of HO's many T.O.S. violations. The i read the heading bar of the place she was in to find out how long it would be until she saw Intimate images. Then what I saw next was wonderful and dreadfully disgracefull at the same time. She had found it. The lame joke of the day! Quikly i threw her to the other chair. I typed in a joke that would mek even Barney cringe. And that is the story of one of my entrees which on thanks giving will be passed over like it was a mediocer joke. That was alot of stress to go though for me so please pick me in this to give me a little hope in HO and be thank full. The story that has just been told is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!! (WAR2098)
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I unlike most people am a vegaterianian (no that second 'ian' is not a typo which I will explane in a minute) so i will not eat a turkey for Thanksgiving. I will eat vegaterians thus the second 'ian' (WAR2098)
(There we go - we could change the name of Thanksgiving to Eat A Vegetarian day...well, Shortsigh & JaneDoe have suggestions down there for new names - whaddya' think, folks, should we rename Thanksgiving?)
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Wate! I could eat a turkey that hasn't eaten meat!!! Like that would be hard to find... (WAR2098)
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Bored? Try these:
* Push your eyes for interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things-is your subconscience trying
to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to
somehow see the same effects on TV?
* See how long you can hold your breath
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as possible. My personal best is 2:00 (exactly).
* Try to not think about polar bears
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about polar bears anyway.
* Scratch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?
* Hurt yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.
* Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential:1-3 minutes)There's not much to say about this one. It is possible.
* Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.
* Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't
even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").
Things you can do with very little
* See what's in your neighbor's trash
(Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes) You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR.
* Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Sort of entertaining. Fun to pretend the people on the screen are actually talking that way.
* Call up people who write editorials you disagree with
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes) I'm surprised no one has thought of this before. Unleash your fury on the person who had the nerve to write a letter like that! I'm pretty sure it doesn't qualify as a prank phone call, too.
* Make prank phone calls
(Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes) Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call
funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Even more fun if you get a bunch of people on the line using a Wonderphone and take turns making the calls. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds, try to make reservations.
* Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
(Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes) What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon
gas out of. Best to do with people you know.
* Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off
immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!!!!!
* Burn things with a magnifying glass
(Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes) Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.
Things you can do with another person
* Have a water drinking contest
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterward. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them.
* Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?
* Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
* Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes) Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
* Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of
times before the person catches on.
* Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes) Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
I think you will all find that boredom will never be the same!!!