Well, I'm back to AOL 3.0, so at the very least, I can bold and italicize with impunity again (hoo-hah, I see you're as thrilled as I am...)
If ice cream is purple then how many children can sit in the back of Aunt Zinnia's trunk? (Emosewa)
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I was drafted into the army, there's nothing Random about that. (Tocadisco)
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What happens when you put Andrew Dice Clay and Alanis Morisette in a room? (Tocadisco)
I imagine you'd find something close to Armageddon afterwards...
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Hello? Anybody out there? (Madcat 2)
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If you say "TACO CAT" backwards it stays the same! (Madcat 2)
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Do you have problems with conversing with spoons? Were they uncommunicative or just downright rude? THen this product is for you! The brand new SPOONAMATIC! It fits easily to the back of most Household spoons. Just recored what you want the spoon to say and hit play! Now your spoon will always want to talk with you! (Madcat 2)
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A wise man once said, "It isn't the size of the ship that counts, it's the motion of the ocean." (Hyperunit)
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Encephalectomy = Doctor lingo for head removal. A procedure all "people" subjected to HO's incredible wit should receive. (SSAdams17)
I thought that was a procedure that all HO's had to go through...I had it done last Friday...
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Binky! Binky! Put the sheep down!!! (ELYN42)
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Deaf Donkeys dunked for donuts while dining in the dragons den!! (TheBrat525)
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I'm melting! I'm melting! (ADTYLER)
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Look at that ice! Will it fit in our glasses? Make mine scotch on those rocks. (CHOOBAND)
As a matter of fact, AOL is selling that ice in special Hecklers alcoholic drinks...Unfortunately, you have to go to their Virginia office to get them (unless a downloaded .jpg pic is good enough for you)
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Did you hear about the guy with 5 penis's?
His pants fit him like a glove! (KATALINA)
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On a serious note, when I looked at the alphabetized listing of people on HO & how many tokens they have. I saw my name twice: Pretti 0ne & Pretti0ne. I must have typed it differently for one of the games. How can I change it so that it reads that I have 20tokens instead of 10 for each name????? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Pretti 0ne)
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Yes ma'am, I would like some more bile with that. (FireFlashX)
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(singing) lets play the random game... (Lovethyme)
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...the random game..... (Lovethyme)
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...the random game... (Lovethyme)
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...lets play the random game.... (Lovethyme)
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...lets play it here.... (Lovethyme)
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...right now!!! (Lovethyme)
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(Catchy tune, dontcha think?) (Lovethyme)
I think so...maybe it'll become the Macarena of 1997, whaddya' think?
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A guy buys a white pigeon & the sales man tells him that he had better read the rules before he leaves with it. (Aeros9)
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Live life to the limits because when the limit is reached and there are things you haven't done you will regret it. (NIKI553493)
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I m not gay, it's just that my sexual preferences are men. (Madcat 2)
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]:o_ MOOOOO! |O = |_o= / * (Madcat 2)
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SPOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Madcat 2)
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SPORKS ARE POINTY (Madcat 2)
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a ton is big (Madcat 2)
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the moon is square (Madcat 2)
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and is also made of cheese! (Madcat 2)
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milk does yo mama good (Madcat 2)
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the keyboard it talks to me (Madcat 2)
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my tv does that also (Madcat 2)
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There is a mystical elusive goat on a misty mountain hidden in a deep fog, and the only way you can see him is if you come with me and I play my magic flute! (MaybeBaby3)
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Do you talk to Spoons also?????????? They talk to me !! (Madcat 2)
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potatoes are yummy and squishy (Madcat 2)
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Hello????? Anybody out there in TV land! (Madcat 2)
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take me to tv land (Madcat 2)
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The Blob is squishy! (Madcat 2)
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my pool is wet (Madcat 2)
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My cheese is rancid (Madcat 2)
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PORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Madcat 2)
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Large furry mammals are BAD!!! (Madcat 2)
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Nobody likes me! (Madcat 2)
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You sad strange, little man, you have my pity! (Madcat 2)
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The sun is hot. The ice is cold. Coke is good! Large aquatic mammals are bad! (Madcat 2)
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strange women lying in the bottom of a pond distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. (Madcat 2)
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CD's are round and flat (Madcat 2)
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worms are fat like yo mama (Madcat 2)
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I am an insane homocidial man requesting permission to eat your potatoes. (Madcat 2)
No problem...help yourself...we got all sorts here...
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I am me. me am you. I am you. me is you. They are we. we are they. We are odd. I am we. we am i (Madcat 2)
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mean people suck (Madcat 2)
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and to you i say:jg gfjufgujfghjfghj ghjgtyhjkghmjghcjhfgjghjtyjhjghjkghjjk spoon (Madcat 2)
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Mad 1 Mad 2 Mad 3 I am mad!! (Madcat 2)
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We have no way of knowing which way we are going. And the rowers keep rowing. So the danger must be growing. YES The danger must be growing for the rowers keep rowing and show no signs of slowing. (Madcat 2)
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I like large spoons! (Madcat 2)
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EL gato es mucho loco. I like tacos (Madcat 2)
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my socks are white and smell like poo. (Madcat 2)
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poo? (Madcat 2)
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to be or not to be ( the question of a gay man) (Madcat 2)
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I have hair. (Madcat 2)
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My linguinie was alive the last time it was delivered! It tried ti eat me (Madcat 2)
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my mom turned me into an asparagus (Madcat 2)
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As are main attraction of the night we have: King Kong vs. the mutant yams from Mars. As a second feature we also have Godzilla vs. the homocidal loaves of bread from New Guinea. (Madcat 2)
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Hello. I'm not quite sure what i'm doing here, it seems i'm lost. Erm.................... (BMidget1)
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Doesn't it piss you off when you shit or piss your pants and it runs down your leg? (Absolut401)
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here's a joke for you:
There's this little black boy, Henry. He is supossed to spell the word given to him, and then use it in a sentence. So the teacher says, spell run. So Henry says r u n, and says, i run from the police. Then the teacher says, spell food. Henry says f o o d. The teacher says very good Henry. Then the teacher says spell dictate. Henry says d i c t a t e. That girl says that my dick tastes like chocolate!! pretty funny huh? (WuzUpFools)
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Ha ha ha ha ha!!! A flat rate! I can afford to play the random game finally!!! Ha ha ha ha!!! (ChrisIzzo)
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It has come to my attention that someone (who will remain nameless) has been reading the Random Game archives and, this may shock you, plagiarized portions of an old entry! I was shocked enough as it was, but then I found out that one of the entries was slapped on the folder for that day! Shame on you, HO's, shame on you. The lawless period has been over for quite some time, and now you let literary theft be awarded? I would be ashamed of myself if I had to plagiarize something just to win, and I know the culprit is, aren't you Pretti One? (ChrisIzzo)
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You know you are getting a wee bit paranoid when you ask yourself "Why the hell is my face on the back of all of the CDs I buy?" (Mac Man547)
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you know what makes me mad? DO YOU????? When people take this quote "640k ought to be enough for anyone." - Bill Gates out of context and apply it to todays computers!!!!~! Of course in the mutruckin 80's that was enough for anyone... And you MAC homos don't say for a second that your OS uses up less memory than that or something. So Lt RJ i think you know where to stick that quote. No, i am not a Bill Gates advocate, i just play one on TV. (AltControl)
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Have you ever actually sat down and watched HEEHAW????? What a load of crap that show is!!!! I want to take my gun, track down the writers and actors/actresses and kill each and everyone of them. (AltControl)
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can type reallykfgj fast w;plghioh but io;ym;lm my accuratyudg isndt's soj 'op greatt.t/.r (AltControl)
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when i grow up and have kids i am going to name one of them VLAD. You heard me so sorry son of a BIZNITCH (AltControl)
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OWWWW i just hurt myself.... kiss it and make it better. Where is it? It's on my ass. Yeah that's the spot... ohhh baby.... im ALL better now... (AltControl)
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My snakes asshole is also his dick! (Netskurf15)
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What's that? Grandma got her head stuck in the turkey again? Ok Billy, go and fetch the pliers out of the truck like a good boy. (GGoss81050)
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There was this man walking down the street when all of a sudden a car hit him. The car was going so fast that it splattered him all over the street. When the car sped off without stopping the policeman who witnessed the crime chased the car. As the policeman went through the streets chasing down the speeding car another car that was the same style, but a different color appeared right behind him. As the chase went on each car hot on eachothers tail a wall was being built . They then turned into the construction site running into whatever wall had been built. All three cars then exploded blowing up all the workers too. "GOSH! I HATED THAT MOVIE!," Sandra said in a girly squeal as she got into Brad's car, he is her current boyfriend. Brad replied," That's alright Sandra I'll protect you." At that his eyes turned to that of a maniacs as he sped off into the night."Watch out for that man," Sandra cried. (Los Quints)
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AHHHH I'm so sick of my freakin hair!!!!!!!!!! it's all wavy and curly and it won't go in one direction!!! when it gets long it sticks straight up in a "fro-ish" manner and it takes alot of coaxing to get it down... I think you should offer a hair straightener as a prize so i can straighten my freakin hair!!!!!! ::::sob::: you just don't know what it's like living with a fro in the 90's!!! (AltControl)
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I cannt find anyway for me to email you so I am writing you through here about some entries I entered into this contest and the slogans contest. Even though they may not be selected as winners I just wanted to inform you that I did not put my screen name on these entries. It is Los Quints. The random one is about a car chase with characters by the name of Sandra and Brad. The slogan one I submitted was about Bill Clinton having to work hard now that his cabinet has left and not much time for Janet Reno. Thank You. (Los Quints)
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I am Cornholio! I need crapichino for my Bunghole! (FAISAL452)
Yeah...heheheheh...I am Cornholio and I am in charge...The Random Game sucks...it sucks!
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Good Googly Moogly...this game used to be updated regularly. So here I sit, waiting & waiting & waiting..... (Pretti 0ne)
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Doctors: Are they your friends or enemas? (Bendude)
They sure like us to think we're their friends and then they end up sticking it to us in the ass everytime we visit them, huh?
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Kierkegaard was right. (LGline)
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hi (Topaz88)
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Boner-fried... (Sdrawkab)
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I know a woman who sued Macy's... she bought a living bra and it bit her... (Jenerewski)
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Hello people. I am back. I used to play this game many moons ago, when it was fun. (BabyLamms)
Welcome back, BabyLamms...let us know how we're doing (oh, geez, Baby probably's gonna say the game sucks and I'm going to feel all depressed and everything and I'll have to randomly drink myself silly oh dear...)
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shimmie shimmie coco bop shimmie shimmie rock shimmie shimmie coco bop shimmie shimmie rock I had a girlfriend a-triscuit she said a-triscuit a-biscuit ice cream soda pop, vanilla on the top ooh shalida walkin' down the street five times a week I get it I get it I stole my mama's credit I'm cool I'm hot sock it to me in the somach three more times (BabyLamms)
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Life is potty-training for heaven.-Heckler X, the Lone Hamster (HECKLER X)
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An obituary:
Heckler X, the Lone Hamster's
hamster
? ~ Nov. 27, 1996
He died from frostbite. (HECKLER X)
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The damn turkish gerbils tried to kidnap my hamster. They took his cookie and stained my teeth to make it look like I ate the damn thing. (HECKLER X)
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Death to the GERBILS!!!!!! VIVA LA HAMSTER!!!!!! (HECKLER X)
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Damn turks... (HECKLER X)
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I vwas thinkin about maybe having my hamster stuffed and wearing him like a little pendant. He was a rather large hamster though. (HECKLER X)
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Yes, I have returned everyone, and the death of my hamster has driven me into madness. Well, deeper madness at least. (HECKLER X)
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Hi-HO imitation silverware away! The Lone Hamster rides again... (HECKLER X)
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Help, help, I'm being repressed! (DFnP)
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one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor (BabyLamms)
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Next time you go to a drive thru and the person says, "may i take your order please," it might be a neat idea to say, "NO. You can't take my order....."
OK, maybe it's not so funny, but neither is Rikki Lake and people like her! (Tocadisco)
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it's about time somebody shoots AOLMan, he will pisses me off! (Tocadisco)
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It's a bird, it's a plane, it's.........
AOLMan, protecting objects from deletion.
God bless that (insert TOS word here) (Tocadisco)
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A pretty disgusting pick-up line:
Hey baby! I'd like to wrap your legs arounds my head and wear you like a feedbag! (BabyLamms)
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A Captain in the foreign legion was transfered to a desert outpost. On his
orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the
enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Seargent leading the tour, "What's the camel
for?".
The Seargent replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."
The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right
with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not
stand it any more so he told his Seargent, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!" The sarge
shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters.
The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel.
As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he
asked the Seargent, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Seargent replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."
(DanHaveman)
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A pretty disgusting pick up line: You know, you have the prettiest teeth I've ever dreamed of coming across. (BabyLamms)
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that is good because if it was not i would have to squeeze you (LindiQ)
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Tokens? TOKENS???? Sounds more like it's the HOs who have been tokein'! Good luck! :P (MagicClams)
And geez, you think they could've at least put a Heckler smiley face on them rather than Steve Case's head profile...
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"The night is cold," said the tiger "and the moon drips golden wax into the toilet. But beware, the seat is wet." (Nicaris)
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THE WORST PLACE ON EARTH WERE YOU HAVE TO EAT CRAP AND KISS UP TO BUTTHOLES .WERE YOU EAT YOUR MOM'S MESSUP COOKING. (JAker60)
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what the sky is called when it is dark (Vrich2)
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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. fuzzy wuzzy was a hare krishna. (Lisystrata)
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Watch where the Eskimos go, don't eat no yellow snow. (Trathor)
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"Hey. Hey, Bob. Pull your pants up, man! Pull 'em up!" "Nooo! I wanna be cool!" (Trathor)