Yeah, and a happy "get-the-crap beat out of you at the mall looking for that gift for that least-favorite relative" Christmas season to you all (Commercialism is just SO fun, ain't it?)...Pour an eggnog from the fridge, lean back, and enjoy today's randomness...
I am just wondering but did the guy in charge of celebrity personals die or something.. I bet he is dead at his computer right now.. just sitting there...smelling really bad by now. (ToddG03)
I heard AOL laid him off (couldn't even afford to pay him his 50 tokens/week salary...) but now that you mention it, the offices have been smelling a little bit deathly of late...
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Overheard at a dentist's office the other day "OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHH (Truggle 1)
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I finally figured out whats going on here and it aint random... (ToddG03)
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You know its sad the sick sense of pleasure we all get from seeing our names on the screen here. As if were going to be popular or something. We think of the stupidest things we can just to get our names out there. Oh yeah and to get some of those really cool tokens as well. (ToddG03)
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WILL WORK FOR TOKENS Will submit stupid little lines of various B.S. to amuse the great HO's. In exchange for those shiny little HO tokens. (ToddG03)
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If the ice age was clogged who unclogged it? and why? and why do I care? and why do we really want these shiny little tokens? and why do I sound like some documentary on A&E? (ToddG03)
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Ok enough already somebody please go check on the guy who is doing the celebrity personals I am getting really worried about him. His family must be worried by now. (ToddG03)
I think the applicable term here is "Rigor Mortis" (do you suppose Erik Estrada in fit of rage over being selected came by AOL offices to kill this guy...an Estrada trial might even be bigger than O.J....well, let's not stretch too much here...)
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I've figured it out. The celebrity personal guy cracked under the pressure and split. He couldnt take the responsibility of being a HO with such power and it all got to him and he wigged out. I see it every day. (ToddG03)
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REWARD
32 Tokens to the person who knows where the Celebrity Personals guy went. One more token if he is dead. (ToddG03)
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Buck Rodgers lives in my sock drawer. I just thought you should know (Crowley19)
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I have ran out of stuff to say so I will just leave now. Hey no clapping!!!?!?!!?! (ToddG03)
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ooooo 14 inches and stuffs coming out (BHEC PHAT)
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ew a spider web ops its my hair (BHEC PHAT)
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dats my special no no place (BHEC PHAT)
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aahhhhhh my back (BHEC PHAT)
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fluffy (BHEC PHAT)
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HO, HO, HO It's on-line where I go
I love the games, I love the jokes
HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO (NETMARK)
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i'm so sick of YOUR CRAAAAAAPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (AltControl)
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Yes, I think....umm...let me see...YUP...I think I posted one of the longest entries....hip hip hooray (Pretti 0ne)
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I work in classified advertising for a newspaper...and there is always a good laugh in our office about something one of us printed in the paper....
Services & Repairs:
Jewelry repairs: Watches, Broken chains, etc. Small repairs done on penises. Call 555-5555. (suppose to say premises)
Pet Ad:
AKC Lab Puppies: Champ bloodlines, parents on premises. Shits/Wormed. Call 555-5555. (suppose to be Shots/Wormed)
Employment:
DELIVERY PERSON needed. Must be atleast 81 & have reliable trans. Call 555-5555 (suppose to be 18)
Then of course is MY all time favorite (I happened to be the author of this employment blooper)
CAREER POOPORTUNITY
Nat'l Co. seeks F/T......
(suppose to be Opportunity)
Also, we print Death Notices in our newspaper...and one day a family member called to complain that their deceased family member's Death Notice was not in the paper...needless to say, we search the paper from front to back...it was discovered to be in the paper...but not in the Death Notice Section, but instead under our heading for Farm & Garden. The family was not happy!!!
There are many more...but those are a few of the most recent. (Pretti 0ne)
LOL, Pretti...the one that made me laugh recently was the one they showed on the Leno show - an ad for Disney's "The Mighty Ducks 3" which was misprinted to read "The Mighty DICKS 3"...
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Buy Pepsi at your local Texaco. (DRWNB)
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Well, the rates have been squashed flat.. now to go after that pesky TOS... WE WILL HAVE OUR WAY!!!!!! (Kaziganthi)
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Estoy aburrido y desnudo. I'm tired and naked.
-OR-
Estoy desnudo y famoso. I'm naked and famous.
The first was from REM and the last was from the Presidents of the U.S.A. BASK IN MY AMAZING BILINGUALITY!! Spanish class is paying off. (Kaziganthi)
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Hey, how does anyone know how you win in this game? (PlanteP)
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The college educated forest always thought that he'd get a better job than the dense forest. (Kaziganthi)
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I look like one of the Garbage Pail Kids. (Kaziganthi)
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I like to strip down to my birthday suit, put on a kilt, go outside, turn on a high powered fan, and wave to traffic. (Kaziganthi)
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I'm pissed at Pee Wee Herman. When he jacks off in a movie theatre, everyone pays attention to him and a bunch of comedians talk about how they support him. When _I_ jack off in a movie theatre this guy in a trench coat starts rubbing up against me and calls me "Betty". I'm not happy about that. (Kaziganthi)
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Life's a bitch and then you die. = ) (Kaziganthi)
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Wow, RuPaul is almost as hot as that chick in the crying game, you know, the really flat one (Rit12345)
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I'm hypnotized by fireflies. They glow in the dark and so do I. (Kaziganthi)
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My breasts are blossoming into venus fly traps. (Kaziganthi)
LOL...I guess that keeps away all those green thumbs from those private gardens of yours...
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Dangit! Jim, I'm a plastic surgeon, not a doctor (Rit12345)
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When I curse in front of someone and they tell me off, I tell them that those words were created for a reason and it's our duty as Americans to use them, and use them with pride. And then I scream all of the curse words I can think of at them while saluting the flag. They usually don't bother me after that. (Kaziganthi)
You could always tell them that you suffer from $#%*&(#$! Tourette's Syndrome as well (the excuse works great with my boss...)
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When the meteor hits the earth we'll all die in a horrific orgy of blood and fire. :) (Kaziganthi)
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"Don't Speak" by No Doubt has been stuck in my head for about 3 weeks now. (Kaziganthi)
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Oh, crap. My head just exploded. (Kaziganthi)
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Going to the Electric Chair is a finger lickin' way to die. (Kaziganthi)
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If women didn't swim, what would fish smell like? (GREG2305)
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I love the way my school district completely ignores a) all of the Constitional Amendments and b) the Geneva convention. Their tyranny has inflicted a deep emotional scar. (Kaziganthi)
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Trust me, you feel like you've stepped through the looking glass when you enter my school. (Kaziganthi)
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My parrot likes walnuts. When I give him one his eyes shrink up and he makes cool trilling noises. (Kaziganthi)
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HECKLERS ONLINE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. Does sucking up help? (SOCCERKATZ)
Sometimes, Soccer...but is it worth it for tokens? I've asked that myself - kinda' reminds me of Brain Candy by The Kids In The Hall...tokens are the new Brain Candy of Hecklers, melts your mind, not your hands...
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That guy from Oasis has an ego the size of New Zealand. He must be stopped! Arrogant British Git. (Kaziganthi)
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So my aunt comes down for t-giving and talks me into taking them to Astroworld...she gives me some cash for tickets and my troubles and I load the lawless little rugrats into the car for the trip to Houston. (might I say that my aunt is really anal-retentive about what her children see...nevermind that it was her husband that taught me how to shoot the finger) anyway I loose my resolve for this entire endeavor rather quickly....I soon decide that it's not worth the financial compensation...the wench is a cheap-skate to begin with...so I drive them to an abandoned, burned out airplane hanger instead and start crying hysterically...(I'm not much of an actor; but their just "Special K" kids anyway)....and sadly inform them that it looks like Astroworld burned down...bummer. So we go to Chuckie Cheeses and let them play the mole game and eat pizza...now I have fifty bucks extra; but now the kids will tell mom that Astroworld burned down and i'll get busted..next stop; the fifth ward (the south central LA of Houston) and dump the short adults off for 1500 and 2000 dollars...took a five hundred dollar loss for the bitchy six year old...so now I'm in Mexico because I can't go home and I think to myself...."I need to get a girlfriend" (Groovedog2)
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Come on let me win some tokens. I reallllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy want some tokens. Don't you know who I am? I may not be very important to you, but I am very important to myself and I thought my story was very good. So you people better get your act together and give me a few tokens for this. I really want something and it is a great idea the prize cellar. so give them to me and give them to me now. Thank you. Please note. The onlything in this that is true is the part about wanting some tokens and being totaly and utterly full of my self. Have a wonderful holiday. (Los Quints)
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I really do love you guys! HA! HA! I am not a jerk. I like the movies. (Los Quints)
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HI (DHigg83995)
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I have a suggestion as well as a money-making scheme for all of you non-drinkers out there who always seem to find yourselves surrounded by drunks... (Shortsigh)
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See how much money you can make by trying to convince everyone in the room (or at least those who are drunk enough) that they owe you money. (Shortsigh)
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The amount of money they owe you is directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. (Shortsigh)
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Another fun game is to collect everyone's keys and go rearrange all of the cars at a party. (Shortsigh)
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I'm not evil, really. : (Shortsigh)
LOL, Short...I'll just remind myself never to get drunk around you ;)
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Oh, okay, don't post my entry! Censor! I'm being repressed, everyone, I'm being repressed! My first amendment rights are violated! You can't do this to me, it's unconstipational, uh, I mean unconstitutional! I'll see you in court. (ChrisIzzo)
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And one more thing, you're a buttknocker, huh, huh. (ChrisIzzo)
Hey, Butthead...that guy called me a buttknocker! Shut up Beavis...it's because you are, bunghole!
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What does the color blue look like? (Spork12)
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I have figured out that the only use for this game is for pathetic people who desperately want to get something, anything published, and therefore feel the need to send in mindless bit of dribble. (and yes I am one of them) (PatriciaWL)
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Am I the only one who has figured out that Bob Dole is actually the ugly naked guy on "Friends" ? (PatriciaWL)
LOL...worse off yet is anyone who recognized that fact right away - those folks must have nightmares of that tragic moment when they saw Bob Dole naked...
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Where's Pen Pals? ^o^ (MooGeneric)
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Duped. Conned. They'll charge me communications surcharge if I don't use THEIR internet access. Or...whatever. (MooGeneric)
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Steven Tyler's face MUST be made out of Silly Putty. (MooGeneric)
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When I was in high school, I wrote President Clinton a letter about health care reform. It was a project assigned by my U.S. History teacher. After three months, I got a reply from the president himself. What do I care! What do I care! There might be ice on the moon! (MooGeneric)
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You should take words emphasized by asterisks very seriously. (MooGeneric)
Okay, Moo...I'll take them very *seriously, okay? ;)
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Penny Marshall MUST have lockjaw. (MooGeneric)
So THAT'S why she sings so awful on those K-mart commercials...
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The stepson, who was apparently at work, was told what happened. (MooGeneric)
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I never go back to Georgia. (MooGeneric)
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"Yeah." -Conan O'Brien (MooGeneric)
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Sharonhm is right. Dogs' paws smell like Fritos. After I read that, I promptly went to sniff my dog's foot, and she was too right. Anyone else? (MooGeneric)
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One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead girls got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew there swords and shot each other
The deaf police man heard the noise
Came and shot the two dead boys
If you don't believe this story is true
Ask the blind man he saw it too..... :) (Ptouchbks)