The Wall
This week on HBO, I saw that Jerry Seinfeld has an HBO Comedy Hour coming in the fall -- couldn't he quit while he was still ahead? Nooo, he decided to continue living -- and more profound -- to stick with comedy. (Jerry, don't drop dead in the next few weeks, you'll make me look bad.) Then, you have Whoopi, Billy, and Robin (and the majority of other comedians) on Comic Relief just going through the motions -- and joining the list of comedians ripping off Letterman's jokes and bits, which even Dave admits are weak. I think there's just a general drought in comedy right now, so I don't blame TRG's lack of enthusiasm this week. (Or was that just me? ...No.) So, if I don't blame the RG
for this week's posts, don't blame me for this week's winners.
Now, I don't pretend to be a comedian (although sometimes, late at night, I like to dress up like one), but I'm going to do this week that the "professionals" won't dare -- I'm not even going to try to be funny. Well, okay, George Carlin is trying it now -- maybe
it'll work better for me. Anyway, besides this paragraph...well, and the last, I'm
just going to shut up and give you the winners.
The 10-token winners:
Subject: Re: My CHILD-ish thread...
From: Bumppis
I have decided that this REALLY can't be MY LIFE...I must be living it for someone else. Yeah, that's it. Right now some lucky SOB is sunning themselves in MY Victoria's Secret Model body, drinking MY gin and tonic, and harassing MY cabana boy on a beach in Maui...When I find her she's DEAD!
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Subject: Re: I hate you all.
From: MephistoM
>>See topic.>>
See topic run.
Run topic, run!
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Subject: Re: Using TRG for personal gain
From: IGiveIn
{Fuel rules.}
Fossil or Synthetic?
The 20-token winners:
Subject: Re: Sometimes you feel old school.
From: Integral46
Some people. Give them an inch, then they want you to convert to metric so you can figure out how many inches are in a meter, and then they want that many inches.
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Subject: Re: Brian's attempt at a thread
From: BrianJ718
Frankly, if truth be told, I don't think many people would have a lot to say.
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Subject: Re: Sal's Caprice.
From: DrSalina
Scene: Mike and Sean watching a mime.
Mime: ::doing the invisible wall thing::
Mike: What the hell is he doing?
Sean: It's the invisible wall thing.
Mike: There isn't a wall there. See? ::punches mime::
Mime: ::stumbles backwards, clutching face.. slams into passerby, tumbles forward and then suddeny crumples to the sidewalk in midair::
Mike: I guess he forgot there was a wall there.
I have to interject here. Actually...no I don't. The 25-token winners:
Subject: Re: Stotan's Thread o' Crap
From: Stotan9876
Right then life threw me a curveball. Actually it wasn't life, it was the pitcher at my baseball game, but it was turning out to be a good analogy wasn't it?
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Subject: Re: Stotan's New Thread
From: Stotan9876
Sometimes I just don't know what I'm thinking. Like that time I ran through the old folks home for five minutes yelling "Fire fire!" and then ran outside and waited for the old folks to shuffle outside, but I left after 10 minutes because none had made it out yet. That was really dumb of me. I should have waited longer.
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Subject: Re: This Could Turn Into A HOstage Situation....
From: Chriskolak
It may become necessary to take a hostage now and then, and force them to confess in every folder that we designate . How you are treated depends on your .....oh, let's face it--- depends on our whim, mood, and level of inebriation....>>
The true diffrence between great RGers and um, WAes, Our level of inebriation never goes down...
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Subject: Re: Brian's attempt at a thread
From: Chriskolak
>>I don't know, but I ran into more rude jerks in the CITY of Philadelphia than in the entire STATE of New York...>>
Well if you watched where you where going this wouldn't have happened.
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Subject: Re: Chris's little thoughts
From: Chriskolak
Ajtfdg lkj ag kljs lkjsdfcxn
Roughly translated means: I'm an ignorant Loser please make fun of me..
The 15-token winners:
Subject: Re: Stotan's New Thread
From: Odaeyss
>>Sometimes I just don't know what I'm thinking. Like that time I ran through the old folks home for five minutes yelling "Fire fire!" and then ran outside and waited for the old folks to shuffle outside, but I left after 10 minutes because none had made it out yet. That was really dumb of me. I should have waited longer.>>
You know Stotan.. I can just envision the old people violently stampeding with their walkers and canes towards the exits.. the weakest getting trampled underfoot.. and you know, I also can see people paying good money for that sort of entertainment.
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Subject: Re: Krissy Lin's corner of the asylum
From: Krissy Lin
Ok, so what you do is you get one of those bright neon band-aids and you stick it in the middle of your forehead, and then when people ask what happened tell them that you cut yourself shaving.
The other 15-token winners:
Subject: Re: HELL
From: Chacro
>>BURNING
TORTURE
EVIL>>
You know, they have special informational videos on genital herpes.
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Subject: Re: Kids say the damdest things
From: Chacro
>>ACTUALLY, I HAVE NO COMMENTS, I JUST CLICK ON SOMETHING>>
Ya know, they need to take those "Mouse tricks and secrets" books off the shelves. now they are learning how to click.
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Subject: Re: La day dee la day daaa
From: AutoKaotik
Yesterday afternoon, just as I was dropping off to sleep, a bright light shone thru my window. Since it was daytime already, you can imagine just how bright this light was. As it faded, I saw 3 smallish figures standing at the foot of my bed. After a moment's observation, I could tell that these weren't your run-of-the-mill Greys. There were pinstripes on their shiny silver jumpers.
Their large black eyes glittered with cold avarice, and despite their size, looked decidedly beady. We stared at one another for several seconds before one stepped forward and twittered:
"Take me to your ledger."
My heart sank. My suspicions were confirmed. Intergalactic Revenue Service. They were going to audit me.
Suddenly, anal probing didn't seem like such a bad thing after all...
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Subject: Re: La day dee la day daaa
From: AutoKaotik
::stares intently at screen::
I do have to interject now. That last post was brilliant. Well, maybe not "brilliant," but if I could have named this week: "The age of staring intently at the screen, passing time, etc., etc., etc." I would have. It was just too long. Here's the 30-token winners. Yes! 30 tokens to each of these three. Consider it motivation to the rest of you, or something. They actually had more than just these posts which could have been chosen winners. Obviously, unlike me, they haven't run out of things to say.
Subject: Re: CHRONIC FUR BALL
From: The Kat 4u
kat's observation:
stairs, darwin's passive agressive predators...
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Subject: Re: CHRONIC FUR BALL
From: The Kat 4u
kat's question:
i wonder if helmet laws made darwin turn over in his grave?
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Subject: The Random Game
From: The Kat 4u
kat's observation:
the number posts here today is 666. normally i don't post on this board, but what the hell, it's not every day that my lord of darkness talks to me in such a manner. speaking of which, i need to have a little talk about my contract....
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Subject: Re: Soup's Unbearable Happinesses of Existences
From: SoupEater
My cat keeps licking the window...he must have mistaken it for his balls
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Subject: Re: Chris's little thoughts
From: SoupEater
>>FREEBIRD!!!<<
If I'm ever in a band again, we'll make it a point to play "Freebird" each and every time it is requested. If every band did that, people would stop asking for it at concerts, because they would be afraid they would actually get it.
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Subject: Re: Soup's Unbearable Happinesses of Existences
From: SoupEater
I wonder....if you have a blank tape, and you play it with the volume all the way up, is the silence so loud that it drowns out all the other noise?
I think I figured out what Simon & Carbuncle were talking about..
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Subject: Re: FarHeim. Entre Verboten.
From: SGood42
>>I'm not gonna tag you, because there is a very slim chance that you ever would have seen this without someone who remembered the post bringing it to your attention. (this is from "The Storm", last summer, back when TRG was funnier.)>>
>>Someone bring to my attention what "tag" is. I don't know. I got that line from a friend who said it to me too often.>> Farheim
A "Tag" is what the Astronauts would be drinking if the letter "N" had never been created.
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Subject: Re: Stotan's Thread o' Crap
From: SGood42
>>I think there's a little Bob Saget in all of us.<<(Stotan)
Well, this seems like a funny place to proclaim that you were molested by the star of Full House I think.
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Subject: Re: Newstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!
From: SGood42
Most people refer to that fun summertime sport as "Water-skiing", but I like to think of it more as snorkeling at a high rate of speed.
All right, maybe I didn't exactly run out of things to say. But I have run out of. . .um. . .okay, now I've run out of things to say.