The Windup

"The Windup," also known as, "No, I'm Not Giving You the Amount of Tokens You Need to Get the Prize You Really Want Before the Token Deadline Comes." That said, 15 tokens to Dante... Wait a second, didn't Dante ask for...no, couldn't be. 15 tokens to these others, too, for whom I know 15 tokens won't help -- not that I checked or anything.

Subject: Re: Dante's Inferno
From: Dante303
I just beat Monty Python's Complete Waste of Time. Truth in advertising strikes again.
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Subject: Re: Dante's Inferno
From: Dante303
Didja ever start to say something and then realize that you didn't want to say that at all, but you had already started on the first syllable and people are expecting you to say something, so instead you turn what you were going to say into an unintelligible string of mumbo-jumbo that only a jibbering idiot would pretend to understand?

Example:

Meph: ::looking at a painting by Goya:: I think the juxtaposition of light and shadows in this piece is absolutely stunning.
Some Guy: Yeah, and it's a naked lady too!
Me: Waaaughheasebealateam.
Meph: Yes, exactly what I was thinking.
Some Guy: I'm still on the fact that it's a naked lady.
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Subject: Re: Elvis is soooooo dead
From: CrzyGirl87
>>What would Elvis say if he were alive today?>>

Damn I sure fooled all of you...
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Subject: Re: Nothing To Say
From: CrzyGirl87
A lot of times you can tell the difference between old bread and new bread. But sometimes you can't. Especially if your brother tells you it's the green pieces are olive....
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Subject: Re: One flew over the Fishy's nest...
From: PsykoFish
They say time can heal all wounds.
They say life is short...
Help help! My manic depression is starting to scab over!!
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Subject: Re: One flew over the Fishy's nest...
From: PsykoFish
My 25 year old brother moved back home about a week ago. Since then, he's used all my shampoo, completely drained my astringent bottle and used up all of my frickin' $10 whitening toothpaste. I was about to complain, but when I found a pair of my underwear and 2 skirts missing, I decided to keep my mouth shut.
Is nothing sacred anymore???
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Subject: Re: Scratch and Sniff
From: VERTIlGO
Ya know ... everytime I go to a bar .. I *swear* the bartender is trying to get me drunk
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Subject: Re: If I Were An Elephant
From: VERTIlGO
Its from fiddler on the roof. You should get out more.>> Silver

Hmmm... yeah..... because .. " Fiddler on the Roof" is the pinacle of pop culture.

Here are some winners of 10-tokens. And, I swear, if these tokens push any of them over the edge, I'll deny I did it to the very end. Ignorance may not be a defense, but around these parts, it could be an asset.
Subject: Re: The Ambivalent Ambivalence of Ambivalence
From: SoupEater
You know that musical piece called "Chopsticks?" Do you figure they call it "Knives, Forks, and Spoons" in China?
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Subject: Re: Seasons of Wither......
From: TyleredOne
Joey: ( pointing to my watch) " Hand clock."

Me: " Watch."

Joey: ( leaning in close,pausing a minute or two ) " Hand clock does nothing,Mommy."
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Subject: Re: Jl's not-so-random stuff
From: Jlbkwrm
Did you know the average argument burns like thousands of calories? This means I spend more calories 'discussing' whether or not I need to go to the Y with my mother, than I work off at the Y. Once again, reality mocks me.
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Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: MitchRK
Ya know, if Mr Onliner's name were Mr Enigma, he'd be a Mr E.
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Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
I think it's really really unfair to have a "Speeeeeecial" Olympics...damn snooty athletes...may they all be stricken with some sort of disability...

30 tokens go to Nyello. You all probably figured that, what with the quality of these posts. (Maybe that book-length 8-part post helped, too.)
Subject: Re: Zornog's Thread of Amusing and/or Entertaining Thoughts
From: Nyello
Nyello: He's more than just a pretty face; he's also a pretty frequent liar about his looks!
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Subject: Re: FarHeim. Entre Verboten.
From: Nyello
I have this urge to change the spelling of my screen name to Knee Yello just so that when I go into chat rooms, all the people will say "Hi Knee."

15 tokens to CowKosmo for these series of posts, which must have caught me at the right time -- or the wrong time, depending on the perspective. After eyeing these posts, I feel the need to make an announcement. On behalf of TRG I'd like to thank Nyello for not posting his Epic post in installments of this length. (And one big "hooray" for message board format, too. Could you even imagine?)
Subject: Re: Kosmo's Milking Bucket! WAHOO!!! MILK FOR ALL!!!
From: CowKosmo
:::throws a sock at the fan:::

I could do this for hours
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Subject: Re: Kosmo's Milking Bucket! WAHOO!!! MILK FOR ALL!!!
From: CowKosmo
::fills sock with whip cream and throws it at fan:::

I could do this for days!
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Subject: Re: Kosmo's Milking Bucket! WAHOO!!! MILK FOR ALL!!!
From: CowKosmo
:::puts cherries in sock with the whip cream and throws it at fan:::

I could do this for at least a week!
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Subject: Re: Kosmo's Milking Bucket! WAHOO!!! MILK FOR ALL!!!
From: CowKosmo
:::puts a banana with the cherries and whip cream in the sock and throws it at fan:::

I could keep doing this all month!
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Subject: Re: Kosmo's Milking Bucket! WAHOO!!! MILK FOR ALL!!!
From: CowKosmo
:::puts a huge hunk of ice in the sock with the banana cherries and whipped cream and throws it at fan:::

Ah crap, I broke the fan, I can't do this anymore!

Well, if what I've heard is true, I guess someone else could wind up benefiting from Bumppis' post. It's fair though, because she and Bob are also benefiting from Kat's. Here's the rest of the 10-token winners.
Subject: Re: My CHILD-ish thread...
From: Bumppis
My sister turns forty next week. She says she'll start worrying about her age when she starts looking her age. I'm getting her a mirror for her birthday...
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Subject: Re: FUR BALL CON CARNE
From: NYSunshyne
>>kat's observation:
the "it's fun over grandma's house" trick only works once, then you have to think of another trick to get your kid to spend a few days there....<<

try: Grandma lied! Those REALLY are chocolate candies in her purse, not medicine! then when the kid gets diarreah from eating her ex-lax, you can say: You broke him, YOU fix him!!!!
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Subject: Re: FUR BALL CON CARNE
From: Odaeyss
>>kat's observation:
making loud noises behind old people at the mall will get you arrested....>>

Ya.. and so will assaulting them, too... old people, just don't got no sense of humor.
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Subject: Re: Astronia's Astro stuff
From: Astronia
Nothing like twitching ta make someone else nervous.
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Subject: Re: Stotan's House of Wigs
From: Stotan9876
My brother posed this question to me. The situation: his employer's dogs (both male) were having sex. Which one is more gay, the one giving it, or the one taking it?

I don't know why I gave Stotan tokens for that either...but, answering the question, probably the one wearing the pink bandanna; that is unless you're color blind, in which case, it's the one wearing the gray bandanna.

25 tokens to RavenWord7, which will give her enough tokens for, um...I'm thinking. This usually takes a while, so I'll get back to you later on that. (I'm lying.)
Subject: Re: Dante's Inferno
From: RavenWord7
>>I am :
The Groovilicious Z-Master
I have Radarsense
I get my power from various Mutant Gadgets
I use a Master Sai
and I ride around on my Master Bike>>

Most people don't Master-Bike unless there's no one to ride...
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Subject: Re: Rav's Spiffy Thread
From: RavenWord7
My brother did something kind of sweet today. He's recently "found religion", so he gave me one of those "WWJD" bracelets. Ya know, "What Would Jesus Do?" Well, I tried to put it on, but I have very small wrists and it didn't fit properly. So I gave it back to him. He got very upset that I wouldn't wear it. I told him that not only am I an agnostic, the thing also didn't fit me.
He said, "Well, I paid two bucks for that thing so you can just GO TO HELL!"
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Subject: Re: Rav's Spiffy Thread
From: RavenWord7
Scary thought:
When I get old, will there be "classic rap" radio stations?

Finally, the winners of 20 tokens. I don't care if I picked unfunny posts made by Integral this week, they're about baseball -- and he didn't even mention the Yankees in them once. As for picking the posts by Brian, well, there's no easy explanation for that.
Subject: Re: Sometimes you feel old school.
From: Integral46
If you build it, they will come, and they will complain about the soda prices.
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Subject: Re: Sometimes you feel old school.
From: Integral46
If you build it, they will come, but only for a few years until the team starts losing, then they'll want you to build a new one with lots and lots of taxpayer money.
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Subject: Re: Sometimes you feel old school.
From: Integral46
If you build it, they won't come unless you give them free baseballs, bats, caps, or Beanie Babies.
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Subject: Re: Brian's attempt at a thread
From: BrianJ718
I used to wonder who framed Roger Rabit but then I began asking myself bigger questions like who would want a picture of a cartoon rabbit anyway?
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Subject: Re: Brian's attempt at a thread
From: BrianJ718
It's like I always say, "Life's a bitch and then it goes into heat."

That's it. Congrats to the winners. I hope someone got enough tokens in the past year to make their time at the RG seem worthwhile. ...Yeah, right.