Okay, do you realize just how absolutely boring my life has gotten? I'll tell you...now I didn't get any tokens this week (no big surprise) but you printed a whole bunch of my entries which when I saw them...THEY MADE ME SO HAPPY!!!!! They really DID!!!! I was on my computer going through a wh ole bunch of the entries thinking "See, they still don't like me...I'm not funny at all" and then I saw all of MY entries and I got REALLY HAPPY!!!! I started gushing to my dad, who's an Old Testament scholar, about my hapiness and then he just kind of sort of laughed...making me think how stupid this was...which of COURSE couldn't stop my happiness from seeing something that I wrote that didn't GET me anything in the end anyways....I was just being happy to
see people recognizing my own existance!!! And now my best friend's girl friend came back last night at midnight meaning I won't see him until January 14th when she has to go back to school meaning all I have to do are college essays and THE RANDOM GAME!!!! And lucky lucky you...you get to read all of them....does anyone ACTUALLY read these though? (MissScully)
Well, there's one person who has to, MissScully...as for the others here, it's just like the box of chocolates - pick and choose...
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Ooops...that whole seeing my things posted thing was mine...I forgot to put my name on it...oops... (MissScully)
P.S. - You don't have to write your name on these entries, folks (surprisingly, something at AOL works well enough to put your name on the entry for you when you enter)
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3.2 shopping days left before X-mas! (KiheBard)
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Since I'm stuck at home this next week...I'll choose to educate you on Dana Scully from the X-Files: prepare yourself!!!! (MissScully)
Note to fans of the X-Files: The X-Files Reference Guide now follows courtesy of AOL's MissScully.
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Bagels make me poop. (Crakerz123)
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I'm back. They had a camel. (Calvinbert)
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Dana Katherine Scully, M.D. (MissScully)
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ID Number: 2317-616 (MissScully)
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Height: 5 feet 3 inches Weight: (unknown) That's SO like a girl isn't it! (MissScully)
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Hair: Red More of an Auburn though Eyes: Green NOW THIS IS WRONG!!!!! SCULLY's EYES ARE BLUE AND SO ARE GILLIAN ANDERSON'S!!!!!! (MissScully)
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D.O.B.: 23 February 1964 Birthplace: (Unknown) (MissScully)
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Current Address: 3170 W. 53 Rd. #35 Annapolis, MD Telephone: (202)
555-6431 (MissScully)
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E-Mail: D_Scully@FBI.gov Distinguishing Marks/Features: None.....but Gillian Anderson has a birthmark on her lip just below her left nostril....Chris Carter said that her face wasn't big enough for it so he made her cover it up for the show....I think she looks beautiful either way!!! (MissScully)
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Marital Status: Unmarried Father's name: William Scully. captain, United States Navy. Served in Cuban Missle Crisis, 1961. Died December 1993 Father's Address: Deceased (MissScully)
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Mother's name: Margaret "Maggie" Scully Mother's Address: (unknown) Baltimore, MD (MissScully)
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Siblings: Elder brother, william "Bill Jr. " Scully Jr. Elder sister, Melissa Scully (deceased)....okay.this girl was on the show in a total of THREE OR FOUR EPISODES and then she was killed by Krycek's henchman because he thought SHE was DANA...AND SHE HAS HER OWN WEBSITE!!!!! She was annoying too!!!.........Younger brother, Charles Scully......now all we know about these brothers is that one or both have a son. It's been mentioned onece that Scully was babysitting her nephews..more than that? who knows...actually..If anyone goes through "Beyond the Sea" they can see the brothers and I think the two nephews...oh well (MissScully)
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Education: B.S. Physics, University of Maryland, 1986. Medical Degree, (unknown), residency in forensic pathology. (MissScully)
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Publications: Senior Thesis: "Einstein's Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation." Current Rank: Special Agent Weapon: Smith and Wesson 1056 (9 mm rounds) (MissScully)
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FBI Career History: 1990: Joins the FBI directly from medical school. Teaches for 2 years at Quatico Academy 1992: Assigned by Section Cheif Scott Blevins to the X-Files section in order to debunk Agent Fox Mulder's finding in relation to the X-Files (MissScully)
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October 1994: Abducted by fugitive Duane Barry (See x-File X3317) under unexplained circumstances. Agent Alex Krycek is wanted for questioning in her disappearance. November 1994: Discovered in a deep coma in the Intensive Care Unit of North Georgetown university Hospital; no witnesses or records of her admission can be found. Upon her recovery, Agent Scully returns to duty, claiming to have no memory of the events of her disappearance (MissScully)
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April 1995: Agent Scully fails to appear at a hearing called by Assistant director Walter S. Skinner into the activities of Agent Mulder. A bungled attempt on her life results in the death of her sister Melissa....just like I said before (MissScully)
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Personal: she is sexy..oops...no I didn't mean to say that....was that typed? Oh well, i meant to say....Agent Scully is a well-respected and highly organized agent, knowledgeable in the areas of forensic medicne and pathology. She does not share Agent Mulder's beliefs in the paranormal (duh). Dana Scully spent the first year of her undergraduate school at the University of Clifornia, Berkely, near the Alameda Naval Air Station, where her father was stationed. At Berkely, Dna had a brush with political activism, particularly antinuclear protest groups, though her involvement never went further than reading leaflets and engaging in occasional spirited "discussions" with her father. After one year there, Dana transferred to the University of maryland. Agent Scully's medical training had been invaluable to the Bureau in the investigation of several cases assigned to the X-Files. (MissScully)
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Okay...now the stuff that THAT didn't tell you...since then..the killer of Melissa was tracked down a few days after the official case was closen after pressure on A.D skinner from "above" (Not aliens....just powerful people)
He was then found dead in his cell...supposedly by hanging himself. A metal implant was found in her neck which turned out to be a Japanese made mechanical devise made for collecting memories (reading her mind) or a
number of other things. Memories started to creep back about her abduction and she is now convinced that she was abducted NOT by aliens but by a government project done by pardoned Japanese Nazi-war criminals. There
have been no mainly Scully related episodes this season because the spirit of Mulder became jealous. Oh...she was called before a congressional committee to answer questions about Agent Mulder's actions (again) under the thought that she was to answer questions regarding an international officials death and the contents of a pouch he was carrying. She refused to answer these questions and was charged with contempt of court and served one
night in jail (I CRIED SEEING HER IN THAT EMPTY CELL ALL ALONE IN HER PRETTY ARMANI SUIT!!! SO CRUEL!!!! SO CRUEL!!!!!) That's about all I think....In an upcoming episode on January 5th, e're supposed to see a different side of her and to expect a disclosure of tattoos.....I'm VERY excited! (MissScully)
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The past x-Files explosion has been brought to you by the creators of the x-Files, the creators of the official X-Files guide, me, the number 10 and 13, and by contributions made by viewers like you.....and MissScully (MissScully)
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All I want for Christmas is a Fat Black Shaft
a New Asscrack a Vial of Smack
a Good Firm Slap a Goat to Whack
an Alien Attack a Greasy Snack
a Duck that Quacks a firm Fudge Pack
and $27 in cash. ~ Thank You! ~
(ELYN42)
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i didn't sleep at all on Thursday night and I actually wasn't that tired on Friday...Of course i tried sleeping for as much as I could inbetween when I got back from school and when I went to a movie that night....what movie you may ask? Why "Sleepers" of course!!! (I swear i didn't make this up!!!) (MissScully)
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What EXACTLY does it take to get tokens? Does it take writing long messages, obviously not...i did that...does it take writing a WHOLE BUNCH...nope...did that....does it take disclosing personal things...nope, did that..I mean i told you all my SAT scores for God's sake!!!....Hmmm.... what must it take? It must be one of these three things....1. S-E-X 2. Money or 3. Free movies. Frankly..the last appeals to me right now more than the others do. (MissScully)
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Mr. Onliner is STARTING to scaring you? I just read a whole bunch of the entries and they ALL scare me....especially my own... (MissScully)
They're scaring some of those above me, but you're fast catching up, MissScully...
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Is it a bad thing that the mojor depressing moment of my daily life is seeing that I don't have any tokens yet? (MissScully)
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Because i'm OBVIOUSLY NOT funny...I'll leave this one up to mister mysterious bold-face commenter...Okay...your turn....say something incredibly witty and funny that makes ME want to give YOU tokens!! See how YOU LIKE IT!!!!! (MissScully)
MissScully has been working hard indeed...hmmm...maybe perhaps there may be a few...we shall see...
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i'm taking Japanese class...the only thing i've learned how to do is talk to myself in Japanese...see.... Konichiwa! O Genki desu ka? Hai, genki desu. ...that's all I can do..Thank you Billings City Public School System!!!!! (MissScully)
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Oh...by the way..that whole Japanese thing meant : "Good afternoon!! Are you healthy? Yes, I'm healthy!" Just thought you'd like to know... (MissScully)
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Merry Christmas to everyone who reads all these postings!!! You deserve a pair of reading glasses because I know reading all these things has sure hurt MY eyes!! (MissScully)
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I'd like to tell all you people that I love you (MissScully)
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i STILL haven't gotten the hang of this putting my name on things thing.....that whole entry before the "I love all you people" one was mine...I can't handle this name thing...you thiing elementry school would have drilled it into my brain but NOOOOOOOO!!!!! (MissScully)..see...I DID it this time!!! (MissScully)
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have you ever noticed how a typo can change the meaning of a sentence A LOT!!!! Saying "I love you" can easily change to "i lick you" (MissScully)
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not like that last example of a typo has ever happened to me....no, of course not. (MissScully)
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By BOB BEERGUTT
.c The UnAssociated Press
OAKLAND, Calif. (Dec. 21) - This much is settled - Black English, Hillbillie Jibberish, and Backwoods Biou Bullshit will all be recognized as second languages in Oakland schools. Whether it is considered an insult to the
students or a helping hand is the subject of hot debate.
Critics said the decision to interpret BE, HJ, or BBBS in class, rather than just calling it ''foolish, liberal, and Anti-American,'' underestimates students' learning abilities and could give them the wrong idea about what it takes to succeed.
''That there puts a hurtin on them there kids, and thats a darn tootin shame,'' said Emmit Potts, a visiting scholar in education at the American Hillbillie Institute in Crick Hollow, W. Virginia. ''If your a anchoring on doing the learnings for English ya got to do the head scratchin that comes with it.
Proponents say the idea is to help students make the transition to standard English by understanding and translating their mother tongue.
''We're not saying (BE, HJ and BBBS) is wrong, we're saying it's pretty damn different and not that it has to be abandoned but that something has to be learned,'' said Jake Pattyfeld of the Oakland teachers' union, which supports the change. ''It's building on kids' strengths.''
The Oakland School Board voted Wednesday to officially recognize Black English, Hillbillie Jiberish, and Backwoods Biou Bullshit.. also known as Redkneck - a term combining ''Red'' and ''Kneck.'
How the new policy will be implemented hasn't been worked out, but possibilities include placing Blacks, Hillbillies and Rednecks in the same class together to help them learn standard English. It also creates a program to train teachers in the Art of Self Defence and How to Resolve a Hostile Situation.
The American Speech, Language and Shuck and Jive Association has classified BE, HJ, and BBBS as social dialects with there own lexicons and syntax.
For instance, if a student translates "See Pug run, see Pug jump" into (BE) "Nigga be a runnin and a jumpin", (HJ) "say...that there fella can scoot" or (BBBS) '' I cant get a bead on im, hes a movin to darn fast", teachers would translate the phrase to standard English, rather than just correcting the
student.
English words in Black English lose a ''d'' following a vowel, so ''good'' becomes ''goo,'' and the final ''th'' is sometimes replaced with ''f,'' so ''with'' becomes ''wif.'' Speakers also can use double or even triple negatives,
such as ''I'm not going back there no more, you can kiss my black ass.'' While English words in Hillbillie Jiberish and Backwoods Biou Bullshit have basically the same structure, each containing 4 vowels..A,E,I,O and U, and ifin i choose, Y,T,X,P and W. With each of these vowels having the abuility to stand alone as an entire sentence, such as, "A?", meenen, "What the hell are you jabbering on about ya damn fool?"
School board members insist their motivation is improving the performance of black, hillbillie and redneck students, who make up 53 percent of the 52,000-student district and 71 percent of those enrolled in special education courses. "Lets not make the dumb kids smarter, lets make the smart kids dumber" Humpty Fratz a school board member commented.
The decision has provoked strong reactions from black, hillbillie, and redkneck leaders and others across the country. Ice Tea called the decision a mistake.
''I'm pissed off", Ice Tea told The Wichita Eagle. ''The very idea that African-American language is a language separate and apart is very threatening, because it can encourage young men and women not to learn standard Rap.''
Board member Toni Two Toes Crook said Saturday that school administrators were working on a statement to clarify the intent of the policy. He said officials want parents to know that ''our goal is to teach our children
English. We're not teaching that other crap at all.''
Some have questioned a paragraph in the resolution referring to ''Hillbillie Jibberish" as being ''genetically based and not a dialect of English.'' Crook said the board used ''genetically'' to refer to the fact that a hillbillie boys sister could also be his mother, it wasnt refering to historic and cultural factors.
Backwoods Biou Bullshit (Redneck) already has been taught in a number of schools, including Blackwater Mississippi , where a suit by parents resulted in a court ordering Black teachers to wear the same sheet and pillow case Redneck students are wearing in order to dispell the confusion during crossburning and linching class.
Oakland appears to be the first district to make a system-wide change.
Marki Mark, a spokesman for the National Association of Foolish and Ignorant Administrators, expected debate over the issue to spread.
''School systems across the country will be very interested in seeing how this program plays out - the techniques that are used and what works, what doesn't work, what could be done better, and how much of it will be filmed and sent to Americas Most Funniest Vidios'' he said.
UAP-Beer Country 12-21-96 2005EST
NoCopyright 1996 The UnAssociated Press. The information contained in the UAP news report may be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise fucked with and distributed without the prior written authority of The UnAssociated Press.
(Beergutt)
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Don't Speak! I know what you're thinking, and I don't need your reasons, 'cause I don't give a damn... No, nooo! Don't speak... (Kaziganthi)
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I was looking back on some of my old entries, and I was kinda suprised at how many songs that I had quoted included the word "naked". Like "Naked and Famous" by the Presidents of the U.S.A. "Bittersweet Me" it says I'm tired and Naked during the lyrics, and of course "Naked Eye" by Luscious Jackson. They're all very cool, very naked songs. I think it's time to expand this trend of nudity to say, No Doubt's lead singer, Gwen Stefani. She doesn't have to sing about nudity, she can just illustrate it if she likes. It would also be nice if Shirley
Manson from Garbage and Courtney Love from Hole followed suit. After all, what could be more suggestive of nudity than a band named "Hole"? (Kaziganthi)
Sounds good to me Kaz...
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By the way, what happened to Michael Stipe? Was everyone he ever loved killed in a car accident? I remember a few years ago he was talking about Shiny, Happy People Holding Hands, and a few years later he was singing
"Everyone Hurts", the type of thing that makes money for Jack Kevorkian. Can anyone tell me what happened? (Kaziganthi)
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Next week I'm gonna surgically replace my natural head with a robot one. I can hardly wait to have a Cathode Ray Head! (Kaziganthi)
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I think the only thing cooler than getting a cathode ray head would be to get a cathode ray butt. A 265 color, RGB butt. It would be appropriate, because most of what passes for TV is crap anyway. (Kaziganthi)
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Christmas isn't about the birth of Christ! It's about ruthless capitalism and deep emotional scars inflicted at an early age. Merry Christmas. I hope you rot in Hell. (Kaziganthi)
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I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. You should not wait for Christmas to inflict emotional scars on impressionable children. Show your intense hatred of the world the whole year 'round. (Kaziganthi)