I like to eat cheese (MissScully)

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Pepsi is sent from God (MissScully)

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No really!! it is!!! It's on the label...Prepared by God of the Admiral Beverage Corp., Heaven (MissScully)
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In the lane, blood is glistenin'! A killer's loose, and kids are missin' Our doom is nigh, we're all gonna die, Walkin' in this Christmas Nightmare land. (Kaziganthi)

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Riding the waves of seasonal depression is fun. (Kaziganthi)

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They're really bringing out all the warm and fuzzy movies for the holidays, like "Beavis and Butthead Do America" and "Mars Attacks!" (Kaziganthi)

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Of course, to cheer you up there's always a heart-warming story about killing puppies to make clothing called "101 Dalmatians" (Kaziganthi)

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Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!!! (Kaziganthi)

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Santa has been talking to Gangster rappers, and he's decided that if you've been naughty this Christmas he's gonna fill you and your stocking full of hot lead instead of coal. (Kaziganthi)

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I had forgotten how cool Donald Duck is. He has a hair trigger temper, and when he gets mad he starts cursing up a storm and then he goes on a destructive rampage. Beavis and Butthead kinda pale in comparison.
(Kaziganthi)

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Mickey isn't really very cool though. I hope a mouse trap breaks his neck. (Kaziganthi)

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I had to take a weight lifting class one, and as soon as I saw the big, 45 lb. weights they put on the bar that I was supposed to lift with my shoulders, I knew that my back was gonna snap like a twig. (Kaziganthi)

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Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (Kaziganthi)

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I'm trying to light a match with my fingernails. *Scratch* *Scratch* Hey cool! Ow my thumb! Godammit. It went out. *Scratch* *Scratch* (Kaziganthi)

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If you find a guy with his head up his ass, he's probably just trying to see things from your point of view. (Kaziganthi)

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People who live in glass houses are probably putting a little too much faith into these modern architects. (Kaziganthi)

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A semi colon and an end parenthesis is an appropriate symbol for Heckler's Online because this area is the last word in incomplete thought. (Kaziganthi)

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I really should stop typing in entries. I'm starting to get a tan from the UV's that the monitor is putting out. (Kaziganthi)

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Okay, I'll stay. Skin cancer can't be all that terrible, can it? (Kaziganthi)

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Scratch yourself in public. It's the American way! (Kaziganthi)
You go tell them Kaz...that was a fine example of randomness

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When you stand on your head do you really talk backwards? (KyleHoff)

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Youre walking down the street, and you dont know why but you are. Any way youre walking down the street for no reason and you dont know why so you think but cant remember why. So, youre walking down the street for
no reason and you try to think of a reason but you cant so any way youre walking down the street and remember, oh crap jepordey's on, i have to walk up the street to my apartment. (Epsonblade)

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What's the difference between an orange? (Grace911)

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A life without cause is a life without effect. (Ekthbjlgke)

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Nothing is sexier than a clip-on-tie! (CounselQT)

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How can I "win" Tolkien? Isnt he dead or something? (MCarter356)

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Lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky, another one bites the dust. Hola comrade! (MCarter356)

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THE VOICES IN MY HEAD....MAKE IT STOP....I BEG YOU....NO...DON'T MAKE ME DO THAT.....PUT DOWN THAT KNIFE...OH THE HUMANITY! (Krazyk242)

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hi (Skater009)

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you might be a redneck if you smoke yor christmas tree on newyears eve! (C30MAN)

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Please feel free to jump over the tennis ball on your way to hell. (JessGrl14)

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Here's a problem for you:

Cystic fibrosis is caused by a recessive allele. This disorder affects Caucasian North Americans at a frequency of about 1 in every 2,080 individuals or 0.00048. What proportion of Caucasian Noth Americans are expected to be heterozygous for this allele? (JessGrl14)
Egads! No complicated math problems, please...ARRRGGGH!!!

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F-22 (MissScully's brother) (MissScully)

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Howdy. (Krazyk242)

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this sucks (RyanA58)

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A-10, F-22, F-18, F-117,A-6,B17,B52,B24,A-26,BUT F-111 SUCK!! but not the others (Mt ACE 86) (MissScully)

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Under the B.....3.....Under the B....3....(MissScully) (MissScully)

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BINGO!!!!!!! (MissScully) (MissScully)

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But mama, I want to ride the airplane! (ELYN42)

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Ponies!!!! ponyponyponyponyponyponypony.....clip clop clip clop poop. (ELYN42)

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ass (ELYN42)

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"Oh!", cried Eppie, "I just can't leave my father, even in you are my real father!" And Silas began to tremble. (ELYN42)

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Emperor Norton would have been proud. Just don't say 'Frisco. (ELYN42)

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Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang I Love You!
And your little dog too!!!
(ELYN42)
I heard my old Chitty Chitty Bang Bang metal lunch box would be worth about $20 in mint condition these days. I also heard if you have a Spiderman metal lunchbox from about 1981, it's worth something like $2500. Well, that's you're useless collectible items trivia for today...

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poop is a palindrome. but palindrome isn't one. emordnilap. I wish all palindromes were poop. (ELYN42)

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?Conoces la cabra de amor? !Soy la cabra de amor! Como una tiburon con queso en mi biblioteca. Pero, mis nalgas son azul y mi loro es loco. No tengo dinero por mi mierda. !Pobre me! ?Donde esta mi boligrafo? El camello es el jefe y los bomberos tienen mi boligrafos. !Mal Chico! Tienes muebles? (ELYN42)

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Ho is the best place in all of AOL! (AChavez395)

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"Turn the TV back on." (BabyLamms)

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"Turn the TV back on."
"Why?"
"So she can see underneath it."
"Who?"
"The vet."

The preceding conversation actually took place between my boyfriend and I when he shut the TV off while I was asleep last night. (or so he says) (BabyLamms)

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The zoo is not f'n open. (Tarabebe)

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rubber baby bumper buggies (Maysrule)

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Hello friends, is everybody happy? I know I am, because I just got back from the doctor's and he say's I'm getting worse the LOUSY PIECE OF SH*T MOTHERF**KER I'LL KICK HIS F**KIN' A** ALL OVER THIS GOD SH*T MOTHERF**KIN' TOWN! . . .anyway, as I was saying, I went to the doctor with my sister Sarah, who, incidentally, has been F**KING MY BEST FRIEND BEHIND MY BACK BECAUSE THEY THINK I'M A FU**KING SH*T IDIOT JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A GODDAMN DISEASE THAT CAUSES ME TO GOD F**K SH*T CR*P B**CH MOTHERF**KING C*NT A**. . . anyway, as I was saying. . .
(Tourettes3)

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Okay....I have no idea what to write so I`ll give you a joke. Once there was this guy with a speech impetiment. ( in other words he talked like he had a cock stuck in his mouth).He decided he had to go shopping, and first went to a general store and asked for a pack of bum. The clerk gave him a pack of gum and he left. Then he went to a hardware store and asked for a fuckit. They gave him a bucket and he went on his merry way to the pet shop. Here he asked for a cock `n` spank it and they gave him a cockerspaniel, so he left. As he was walking home the dog ran off. He saw an officer of the law (pig) and
asked the nice gentleman to hold his bum and fuckit, while he goes and catches his cock `n` spankit

okay...okay....I know it`s a stupid joke, but I think it`s funnier than hell.Enjoy.
Yours pathetically hoping to win some dinky prize (Shine35075)

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If PROgress is a step forward, than what's CONgress? (CybJef3657)

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Call me old fashioned, but I still believe that there are only 4 elements-Earth, Water, Air, and Fire. (Kaziganthi)
Just a rhetorical question - what did the group Earth Wind & Fire have against the element Water? Did water offend them in some way?

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I make wars on The Incredible Toon Machine game (J Quest19)

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Now if you have some left, don't throw it out, use it for spackle, or bathroom grout... oh, SPAM! (Kaziganthi)

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What scares me is that that line made me go look. (Vraith)

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Part Deux: But then Mr/MS TerorDream really bothered me, alot (didn't check the profile dude or dudette, sorry.) (Vraith)

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I would like to give a random suggestion, outlaw blank requests for tokens. Minimizing the might be good also. I mean WHY does this sniveling snert who can win them anywhere else desire any tokens. The one request, like the scene from Oliver, "May I have some tokens, please sir," at least had some literary nuances, before it went down hill. Or in the spirit of it is better to give than receive. (yah, the PR for that commandment never did get off the ground which is why it's not in the top ten) give 15 losers each one for the week, blow the budget for the rest of the year, what the hay. Have a nice day [;)] (Vraith)

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Life, too serious, to be taken seriously. (Vraith)

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Life, the true random game. But you've known that already. (Vraith)

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clinton puff,puff (LEOSTYLES)

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I'm missing a black sock. If anyone finds it, send it back to me. (PaulCrash)
You ever wonder where all the missing socks and Bic ball point pens disappear to? I sure do...

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The Random Game? This sounds like some promotion for a new condom. You don't know if it works or not, you just keep rolling it down to find the serial number. That's all I got to say about that. (Zenbion)

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Just so you know, I am quitting under this screen name tonight, so this will be my final message as Rit (unless they offer me free time again) so I would just like to say before I go, that the random game brings out the schizophrenic in all of us. Goodbye. (Rit12345)
Well, hope to see you around again in a new reincarnation, Rit...

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Moooooo!!!!! (Coolcat350)

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:( I'm getting bored with the Random game for the past few days. I miss you! I miss all your wise-ass entries after what I say. I miss you making fun of me and me shutting off my computer and crawling in the corner of the room and crying in the fetal position with my blankie. (CurlyAnnT)
Ummm...now, now, CurlyAnn, we can't have that...would a make-up wise-ass response make you feel any better?

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I love you like a sister... nothing more nothing less (JacksonJoJ)

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My friends were talking about money. "I need more money." one said. "Doesn't everyone?" said another. "I can whistle with money," said a third. "Why do chimpmunks eat acorns?" I asked. They all stared at me. There is a perfectly logical connection. Figure it out yourself. It has to do with whistling, pigs, slop, the russian space program, and a partrige in a pair o'trees. (BU Alamar)

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"Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?"-kermit the frog (Smauch2612)

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Contemplating a canyon: whether you describe depth or height depends upon where you stand (on rim or on floor). No, this is *not* Einstein's Relativity Theory - it's Kihe's Relativity Observation (KiheBard)

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I know how that is spelled you can stop correcting me all the time you know I know how to spellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll dammit. (MCarter356)

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#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9#9 I always liked the beatles (MCarter356)

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you suck (Markie3097)

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Oh yeah, I'm a SCAAAAAAARY man! Scary! Scary! Scary! Just give me the tokens, Julius, if you ever wanna see the rabbit again! (Mr Onliner)

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Muhahahaha! I am RenilnO rM! I am Mr Onliner's backwards brother! HAHAHA! I am backwards! HEHEHE! Haha! Haaaaaa. Uh, make sure to forward the tokens to Mr Onliner by the way. (RenilnO rM)

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This page left intentionally blank. (Polygamis)

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Two missiles speed directly toward each other, one at 9,000 miles per hour
and the other at 21,000 miles per hour. They start 1,317 miles apart. How
far apart will they be exactly one minute prior to collision? (Tbird23)

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I remember when I was little, I was watching this comedian talk about how cats always land on their feet, & when you're buttering a peice of bread & drop it, it always lands on the buttered side. Then he made an interesting point--what if you strap a peice of buttered bread to a cat's back & drop it sideways--where would it land? So I tried it----I really miss my cat.

(Babyf24291---this story IS fictional) (Babyf24291)
Forget the cat...I'd really miss the bread (oh, geez, watch all sorts of cat lovers get on my case now...)

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I'm 6' tall and short men come up to me all of the time and say..."Gee your hair smells terrific!" I say, "Please get your face out of there. (V1Gima)