((The Random Game's Tale Of Woe, Pt. 2) First, Thursday night's entries -
when I looked at these, I discovered that AOL's distribution center had sent
the same batch of entries twice in one file. Moreover, it had duplicated the longer entries at least twice, and sometimes even three or four times over. I edited it down into a nice neat trim batch of really funny entries and was ready to import via e-mail to those folks who'd put the entries on the system.)
(Only problem was, AOL wouldn't import the text into an e-mail! Okay, I'll reedit the text into two parts - maybe it's too big. Still the same results. I'll attach it as a file and send it to myself and see if it still reads the text - still no luck! Let me just say my appointment with the Hair Club For Men was shortly confirmed right after three hours worth of trying to get AOL to recognize this text...)
(Finally, through some sheer stroke of luck, I managed to get half of the entries into an e-mail and was ready to send it. As I scrolled back down the screen, I saw the spectacle and said, "Lord, I have seen the virus, and it is the Random Game!" (Well, my jaw just dropped in stunned realization, but that sounds so much more dramatic, doesn't it?) The text was breaking apart into separate sentences and dozens of blank lines were being inserted between them right before my very eyes. As I figured AOL and my computer doesn't need a self-expanding file of entries straining the system, I deleted that e-mail pretty quickly...)
(Nevertheless, there is SOME good news from that episode and batch of entries - I still have the entries and can read them with my word processor program. Thus, I will be picking out winners from that batch of text in a special token distribution (I'll be retyping the winners myself so that AOL can read them), and then I'll formally delete the entry batch from hell...)
(But wait, the tale of woe continues...in Part III)
Stop plate techtonics!!! (Duperman17)
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GREAT NEWS! I just found out! The Berlin Wall has been torn down!!! (Kaziganthi)
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Not that I condone drug use, but ya know how trippin' people walk funny? Well I was stopped at a red light when I saw a trippin'-lookin' person cross the street. I yelled to him, "Trippin'?!!?" He yelled back, "HEY, ME TOO!!" Then proceeded to trip on a crack in the sidewalk, or a little munchkin man or something, breaking the proverbial 'mother's back'...True story!...Now give me my tokens!! (EvilClaws)
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I was walking through the city one night, the real bad section that even the cops won't go within five blocks of (I don't know if this is because they might get shot, or because there's no Dunkin' Donuts...) well anyway, this really skinny little guy came up to me, and said "Man, I suck yo' d***, man, just gimme some, man...yo' yo' man....come on..." I looked at him and said, "Dude, I ain't got no tokens! They never give me any, man! IT'S A CONSPIRACY! THEY'LL FIND JIMMY HOFFA'S BODY BEFORE I GET ANY FREAKIN' TOKENS!!! IT'S NOT FAIR!! I JUST WANNA WRING SOMEONE'S NECK UNTIL ToKeNs FALL OUT THEIR ASS!! DAMMIT, YOU PEOPLE KEEP ASKING ME FOR HECKLER'S TOKENS!!! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
The skinny little dude replied, "I ain't talkin' 'bout no damn tokens, I'se talkin' 'bout money for my crack!" He walked away, never saw him again. True story! (EvilClaws)
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***STONED AGIN!***NO, OCIFICER, THERE'S NO BLOOD IN MY ALCOHOLOLOL SYSTEM!***DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE, YOU MIGHT SPILL YOUR DRINK***THOU SHALT NOT PAY A LOT FOR A MUFFLER***THE HOST HAS FAILED TO RESPOND.
(EvilClaws)
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Smell my socks! (JH Probe)
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Headlines of the year in sports: 1. Jets sign O'Donnell, yet find a way to lose 15 games. 2. Giants to talk to Marge Schott about vacant head coach job. 3. Rangers sign Gordie Howe to a 2 year deal. 4. Tyson vs. Ali(nuff said) 5. Rodman's hair studied by scientists-said to be cause of his "active" personality 6. Bulls Win(surprised, aren't you) 7. Michael Johnson quits Olympic team to join his calling in life-start a cult that makes you sell yourself to any advertising company for any price. 8. Yankees threaten to move: Mets threaten to play
(DLeary2)
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Uh.... UhUh. huh huh uh, yeah. Umm... uhhhh, uh. Huh huh... yeah. Cool. (ZoZ 99)
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... ummmm.... I mean, well, you know. The pit bull. Yeah. He is cool. The blender, the egg man and the walrus. Uhh. Cool. Ummm, uhhhhhh, "goo goo g'joob"? Of course!!! If we, on two, if why and I?Hell, Why not? And then I killed the world... Memories... (ZoZ 99)
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what? (Devin Lamb)
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I like bread and butter, i like toast and jam , i like those good and simple things and thats why i like SMAKING MY BROTHER DOWN SIDE THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE he he he he fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun (I!#[{) hamburger HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA (Devin Lamb)
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GO BOIL YOUR BOTTOMS SONS OF A SILLY PERSON. I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION , YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDEBERRYS NOW GO AWAY OR I SHALL TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME. $^) THBBBBBBBBBBBB (Devin Lamb)
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"To whom it may confuse" (RAcker4514)
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I live in the sunshine state namely Florida. Ever been here? It's a great place and the weather is fantastic! 80 in the day and 70 at night. I can live with that! Rockets are my game. I design, build and fly model rockets on the beach or an open field. They go up on a rocket booster and come down by parachute. That's all for now. Adios! (LPhill1378)
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Today is International Eggplant Day. If you are any kind of patriot, you'd better celebrate. (Krazyk242)
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or else an eggplant might eat you. (Krazyk242)
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My Random Thought of the Day: Jerry Springer is Richard Simmons' gay lover. (Krazyk242)
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I have a question do you award one prize each week or a radom number of prizes? (SIM Being)
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I Have A Question? (SIM Being)
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I Have A Question? (SIM Being)
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I have your million dollar donation...wait this isn't the Democratic Party Headquarters is it?...forget I said that... (Agreen602) (AGreen602)
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what part of a vegetable cant you eat? The wheelchair! (Mrmph)
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(________((((___________________(~~~~~~~~~~ (MichaelL28)
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OH FER PETE'S SAKE! POST THE LIST ALREADY! GEEEZ... well golly gee. (JaguarMel)
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If you would like to make a call, please shove this phone up your big fat hairy butt. Thank you for calling.
beep beep beep beep beep (L Ghaleon)
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"What The Hell Is This?", I ask. (SIM Being)
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I LIVE DOWN THE STREET FROM THE BIG BROWN HOUSE. (SIM Being)
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To Send Or To Cancel. That Is The Question. (SIM Being)
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party at doles house! (Ubbodag)
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I Chose Send. If I Didn't You Wouldn't Have Gotten That Message. (SIM Being)
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I Chose Send Again. And I'm Choosing It Again Right Now. (SIM Being)
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What does Those Little Hearts In The Corner Of Teh Screen Mean? (SIM Being)
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They Really Get Annoying. Everywhere You Go There They Are. You Open A Window, Poof There Is Another. You Go On The World Wide Web, Guess What, Another One Appears. Make Them Go Away!! (SIM Being)
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i don't know what to put look at the bottem of the page......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................i put the cool lines on the page so the people that play every week can get all the words in line. (Keif78)
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I SaW ShErYl CrOw At ThE sToRe YeStErDaY. (SIM Being)
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Have you ever wondered why wen going to a place like chuck e. cheese, people pay monet for tokens? Since it is clearly stated on the back of 'em that they heve no cash value? (KReinha189)
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I Think There Should Be A Character For New Years. How About Alanis Morissette? (SIM Being)
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Response? What Response? What Are You People Talking About? (SIM Being)
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there is cheese in my pants (ZoZ 99)
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woo,woo there goes the train! (ZoZ 99)
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and ride it, woo woo (ZoZ 99)
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n i i i i i i i i i i ih! (ZoZ 99)
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uh oh... gotta go!!! My duck's on fire!!!!!! (ZoZ 99)
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I Think That don't Press or key thing is all a big hoax. I bet you people are keeping something from us. I don't know what it is, Maybe you people just have sick minds and are planning to remove the and keys from every computer on earth so that you can build a Hecklers Online Historic Wall with them or something. Or maybe hitting enter messes up the entry reading software and automatically gives you free tokens. Or maybe you were telling the truth. Its just a hunch. (SIM Being)
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Each time I read the printed responses, I see one name with 20 or so stupid passages. If I could, I would E-mail them a fork they could download and shove in their eye socket drive. (Mercuti049)
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nanny nanny poo poo (DynamiteG)
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Don't I win ANYTHING yet??? (JH Probe)
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I hate this game... (JH Probe)
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Every time I try to go "Dancin' in the street" like the song suggests, I get run over. Is there anyone who has the same problem and/or has any advice? (ZoZ 99)
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ABCDEFGHIGKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z. Now I know my ABC's. Next time won't you sing with me!!!!! (JH Probe)
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annhilate, kill, kill !!!!!! (ZoZ 99)
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excuse me sir but there appears to be a spoon up your bum! (User376649)
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we interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irratating! (User376649)
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My god man. This is terrible.. would someone please stop it??!!?
(User376649)
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Now isn't this game redundant, as the guys over at top ten, also pick the responses, randomly. (HUFMEBUNZ)
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Put out the new postings!!!!!!!!!!! (Kumantes)
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Remember kiddies: Stop, drop, and roll. (Kumantes)
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I'm Head Over Feet For Alanis (OK Ok I know I'm not very original or creative) (SIM Being)
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And isn't it Ironic that she doesn't even know I exist. (Another Lame Pun) (SIM Being)
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We could die at any moment. Go out and live life to the fullest. (Kumantes)
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The world's growing more crowded, so buy up a lot of land and laugh at the people who beg you for it. (Kumantes)
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You know when that message comes up that says "Your Message Has Been Sent" What If I Wanted To Cancel. But NOOO it doesn't give me that option. I just have to go along with it. (SIM Being)
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Did you ever see the video for Head over Feet? It scares me. (SIM Being)
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The stupid wheel in my mouse isn't working. I'm suing. (Kumantes)
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Q: DO YOU KNOW A SINGER THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND AND MIGRATED DOWN FROM CANADA? (SIM Being)
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I got a nickel. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. (Kumantes)
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I kept my promise, so don't cry for me Argentina. (Kumantes)
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I'm Argentina. (Kumantes)
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A: YOU GUESSED IT, CELINE DION!!!
I bet you thought I was going to say Alanis Morissette. But she didn't migrate, she drove.) (SIM Being)
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Oooga, ooga. (Kumantes)
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Itsa me, Mario! (Kumantes)
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Yahoooo! (Kumantes)
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Every man dies, not ever man really lives.
-Mel Gibson, Braveheart (Kumantes)
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**
8
I I (SIM Being)
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I've noticed there's an Age of Reason. Why's that? Reason has no place in Randomness! I strive to destroy Reason! As long as Reason exists we will all be held back from reaching our insane peak as human beings! Down with Reason! Down with reason! Down with Reason! Join me fellow Randomers!!!!!! We will rid the world of rationalists!!!!!!!! (Kumantes)
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I radomly lost my head there for a minute. (I BET YOUR CONFUSED) (SIM Being)
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UOME Tokens. (SIM Being)
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Helen Hunt is an actress. I think she looks like Jodie Foster. (SIM Being)