(The Bold Letter Guy's Prayer (by the Bold Letter Guy))
Before I flick on my computer switch
I pray that AOL doesn't have a glitch
And if AOL dies before the Random Entries it takes
I hope they do it right the second time around, goodness sakes!
(Well, so far so good for the New Year - here's the second part of the second batch of 1997 for AOL's the Random Game...)
a horse is a horse, of course, of course. la la did ee dah do dah la la (SQUEEGY1)
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I was at school and my friend said, s... sex, te he he. (SQUEEGY1)
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did you know that it is almost impossible for a 13 yearold to get some tokens, what kind of a world is this? (SQUEEGY1)
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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz we neede more letters in the alphabet, how the hell are you supposed to spell "threcl#ing"? (SQUEEGY1)
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My NOSE my NOSE my NOSE IS PURDY! (Mr Onliner)
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Hello, good citizens. I am Batman. Would you like to be my partner? Would you like that? Would you like to ride with Batman? (WJHSmile)
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Question: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer: Fish (WJHSmile)
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!ooB-ydibboB-ydibbiB (WJHSmile)
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Rats? Did you say rats? I hate rats! They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a padded room. I t was cold there. It was dark there. There were big men there. There were rats there. Rats? Did you say rats? I hate rats! They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a padded room. I t was cold there. It was dark there. There were big men there. There were rats there. Rats? Did you say rats? I hate rats! They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a padded room. I t was cold there. It was dark there. There were big men there. There were rats there. Rats? Did you say rats? I hate rats! They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a padded room. I t was cold there. It was dark there. There were big men there. There were rats there. Rats? Did you say rats? I hate rats! They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a padded room. I t was cold there. It was dark there. There were big men there. There were rats there. Rats? Did you say rats? I hate rats! They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a padded room. I t was cold there. It was dark there. There were big men there. There were rats there. Rats? Did you say rats? I hate rats! They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a padded room. I t was cold there. It was dark there. There were big men there. There were rats there. (WJHSmile)
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This is the story... (WJHSmile)
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...Of a lovely lady... (WJHSmile)
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...Who was bringing up three very lively girls... (WJHSmile)
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...They all had...had...#$&*@Q)(^@&^#@(& Help!!! My computer has a virus that make it play the Brady Bunch song!!!!! AAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! HHHHHHEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP!!!! (WJHSmile)
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Cow Pies, get 'em while they're hot! Cow Pies, get your Cow Pies here! (Kaziganthi)
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"ho theme" (DOTT22)
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I'm hurt inside that you didn't pick me. Oh, sorry, that's just heartburn. (Kumantes)
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She ra ka shoo ko kum tu sha baka! (Kumantes)
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I am the almighty.
I am the almighty.
I am the almighty.
I am the almighty.
I am the almighty.
It helps to give yourself pep talks. (Kumantes)
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Hecklers on-line rocks. It is the coolest thing I have ever seen. Is there a better place in the world? Not that I have seen. So come on everybody and heckle with me. (Bulldog003)
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Hooters has got to be the best restaurant. It has it all! Wings, women, and football! (Kumantes)
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There is a scary guy in a trenchcoat outside. I told you, Bold Letter Writer Guy, before...
STOP COMING TO MY HOUSE! (Kumantes)
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I bet you're sick of people hitting enter a lot and then saying how cool they are? (Kumantes)
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THE DIRT WON'T COME OFF!!!!
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
HELP ME!!!! (Kumantes)
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I need some serious medication. (Kumantes)
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Denis Rodman is a real queer. If you see him, laugh and point. (Kumantes)
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Why haven' t you posted something that says that the Online Host has his head out of his ass and your entry reading software will work properly? (Kumantes)
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Not everyone play the ol' random game backwards. I don't. I like to play it frontwards. It's really hard to read the other way around. (Kumantes)
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There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home. (Kumantes)
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It didn't work. The Tinman, Scarecrow, and that wimpy Lion are still here. (Kumantes)
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Wait a minute!
I'm not in Oz!
Why the hell are these guys in my room??!! (Kumantes)
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I am in search of some information. I have, I mean I have a friend, yeah that's it a friend,-- well, anyway this friend is wondering if there is any group out there with a 12 step program to help reform serial killers. Serial Killers Anonymous or something like that. I, I mean he, could really use some help. Thanks. (Croaker34)
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I'm so clever. (Kumantes)
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Can I be the first winner of 1997??? Please! Can I? I will be good for the rest of the year... I won't try to eliminate my rivals in this game... I won't. Not that I would eliminate someone... of course not! Only that one guy who got on my nerves... (Kumantes)
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I'm going on a trip. I'm packing a suitcase full of razorblades. (Kumantes)
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I feel like a snack. Oh, well, I'm too lazy to get up. (Kumantes)
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You can have my soul for 10 tokens. (Coolkid109)
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It was raining cats and dogs today, but my mom said I couldn't keep it. (Coolkid109)
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I wanted a nintendo sixty four this christmas but instead I got a blow-up girl. it's only one player and that makes my friends mad. (Coolkid109)
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Can someone help me think of something random? (Zeroloo)
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i like dip my fingers in hot wax and make finger crayons.... (TMskDarien)
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PERSON1:I am calling fom a payphone.Person2:Yes? PERSON1: now you Iisten very carfully THis is the worst thing thats corrupted america yet! Person2:Yes are you dieing, is this a terrorist threat? What?????! PERSON1: Worse... Im Playing..,.THE RANDOM GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Person2: GOD HELP US ALL!!!! (Kermit9094)
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that was me caling the whitehouse sir Kermit9093@aol.com (Kermit9094)
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Some people are really funny. I would imitate them but I would never go low enough to copy them! (Zeroloo)
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Who is the idiot who decided to place braille marks on drive thru bank machines anyhow? How many blind people drive? How many Blind people are going to be walking thru a drive thru? who got paid for that? (Binkey1754)
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has anyone else noticed that no decision is a decision in itself. Well I just realized now. Happy New Year (Zeroloo)
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anna (ADTYLER)
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When did my teeth become chiclets? (GirlCeltic)
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How the cows saved Christmas
Dexterman3
First there was the universe. Then came Earth. After that everything just sort of fell together. The world was as we know it today. Except for a few distinct changes. One pigs could fly, two cows could talk, three instead of Santa there was Dan the flying pig, and fourth a guy named Dexter was god. All these things made the world a better place to live.
As it was nearing Christmas Dan the flying pig was preparing for the holiday by waxing his brand new red tricycle which he would use to fly with.
Without Dan's knowledge there were five introvert farmers named Farmer Joe, Farmer Bill, Farmer Bob Farmer Don, and Farmer Rick gone bad. There attitude towards society was that it was wrong for all their problems. They would punish society by destroying Christmas and Dan the flying pig. To achieve their goal they were going to set five different traps in there fireplaces so that they would kill Dan the flying pig once and for all.
Now as I said before these uncaring people were farmers, and farmers have cows. So these farmers had cows to, but these weren't just ordinary cows, these were special super-duper cows that helped keep the world ridded from evil. These cows had extra-sensory hearing so they could hear the farmers ploting. They decided that the dillemma called for something rightious. All they knew was that they would not let Dan the flying pig down.
As Christmas came Dan the flying pig got into his tricycle and waved goodbye to his monkey helpers. He was off without any idea that he could soon die
The evening of Christmas was a very busy time for the farmers for they had to embrace the fact that Dan would soon be on his way. Farmer Joe tried the classic get rid of Dan the flying pig scheme, he left the fire going in the fire place. Farmer Bill filled his chimney with water so that Dan would drown. Farmer Bob put explosives in his fireplace to blow Dan to smitherines. Farmer Don put spikes in his fireplace to skewer Dan the flying pig. Farmer Rick put an evil aura in his fireplace to make Dan disapear into the netherworld. Now these were all great traps but the cows were virtueos in many ways.
When the farmers went to sleep the cows snuck in the houses to disarm the trap. First the cows went to Famer Joe's house. They didn't have any water so they uh um... used there sacred method called pissiwee. Next the cows went to Farmer Bill's house. To unarm this trap the cow known as Patsy used his tai kwon do skills and broke the glass holding the water in two. After this the cows went to farmer Bob's house. There the cows used there careful precision on the explosives disarming them. At Farmer Don's house Patsy and his friend Hubert used their awesome strength to bend the bars. When the cows got to Farmer Rick's house they couldn't see anything wrong. But then the cow docter stepped in and used his esp to destroy the bad aura.
Once again the cows had protected the innocent from the evil farmers. Dan the flying pig was most thankful towards the cows for their assistance in helping Christmas stay alive. (DexterMan3)
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I randomly play this game. (SIM Being)
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Ok, I have to complain. The point of BEING a RANDOM game is that the winner should be picked at RANDOM. I've been playing for only a short time now, but then I see this latest round of winners and three people get tokens because they sent in the MOST stuff? Or QUALITY stuff? If you were only editing out the stuff that is REALLY offensive then ALL of what is left should be considered. I don't care if I just type in HAHAHAHA or a stinking, stupid smiley face...it should have the same chance as someone's entry that rambles on and on over 20 freakin lines!!! Don't you even know what RANDOM means?????? And I am supposed to feel I have the same chance as everyone else when you don't even know how to judge the damned game??? THAT"S EXACTLY MY POINT....You're not supposed to JUDGE the entries. Close your eyes and scroll...where you stop is the winner....or DO number the entries, but number them ALL and THEN roll the freakin dice. Something that is really RANDOM. This is NOT called the ALMOST, but NOT QUITE RANDOM game!!! Jeez you people tick me off.
random [2] (adjective)
First appeared 1565
1 a : lacking a definite plan, purpose, or pattern
RANDOM stresses lack of definite aim, fixed goal, or regular procedure
2 a : relating to, having, or being elements or events with definite probability of occurrence <~ processes>
b : being or relating to a set or to an element of a set each of whose elements has equal probability of occurrence also : characterized by procedures designed to obtain such sets or elements <~ sampling> Is that enough for you? I copied it from the Meriam Webster Collegiate dictionary so you'd actually KNOW what the heck RANDOM means...or should I have copied it from the Children's Dictionary??????? (Heather683)
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I can honestly say I haven't had a cigarette since last year. I"M GOING INSANE!! (CurlyAnnT)
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GIMME A CIGARETTE!!!!!!!;lasdkjfa;eoirjawpoeinakl;wrjgoperijha;vrnaewo;ijewoprijwael;kfmsald;fkjoipcxvjawl/emrtfds;alvijeawpolimf;.dskj;lksjf;alskdjfl;asdkjfa;weijrpoawiuoejfkas;ldkjfas;lkdjvia;ert/awe.,mfa;sodivjXCK:JL>?
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
sincerely,
HA (LatinSrta)
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Her name was Lola... She took the Gorgonzola...with Mazzola... right up the bunghola........His name was Rico...he spread his cheek-os.. I'll stop the song here to save some face and get some tokens! (SSBudda)
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The funniest Ren and Stimpy I have seen is the episode when Stimpy thinks he needs underpants. If you've seen it you're laughing. If not watch more Ren and Stimpy. (RKOTSEOS)
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I am building a house out of AOL disks. I need a few more to finish the garage. Anyone got a few dozen extra?? (PaulCrash)
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Okay...now I tried to send this the one day when the Random Game was shut down so I'll try today....Now follows the entire book to RENT....or as much as I can type before I have to go back to my Japanese:Mark: We begin on Christmas Eve with me, Mark, and my roommate, Roger. We live in an industrial loft on the corner of 11th street and Avenue B, the top floor of what was once a music publishing factory. Old rock and roll posters hang on the walls. They have Roger's picture advertising gigs at CBGB's and the Pyramid Club. We have an illegal wood burning stove; it's exhaust pipe crawls up to a skylight. All of our electrical appliances are plugged into one thick extension cord which snakes its way out a window. Outside a small tent city has sprung up in the lot next to our building. Inside we are freezing because we have no heat. (He turns the camera to Roger) Mark:December 24th. Nine Pm. Eastern standard time. From here on in I shoot without a script. See if anything comes of it, instead of my old sh*t. First shot-Roger tuning the Fender guitar he hasnplayed in a year. Roger: This won't tune Mark: So we here. He's just coming back from half a year of withdrawl. Roger: Are you talking to me? Mark: Not at all. Are you ready? Hold that focus steady. Tell the folks at home, what you'r doing Roger... Roger:I'm writing one great song... Mark: The phone rings. Roger: Saved! Mark: We screen..zoom in on the answering machine! Roger & Mark's outgoing message: Speak!! (Beep) Mom: That was very loud beep. I don't even know if this is working. Mark-Mark are you there. are you screening your calls? It's mom. we wanted to call and say that we love you and we'll miss you tommorrow. Cidy and the kids are here..send their love..Oh, I hope that you like th hot plate. Just don't leave it on dear. when you leave the house. Oh and Mark, we're sorry to hear that Maureen dumped you. I say C'est la vie. So let her be a lesbian, there are other fishies in the sea...love MOM!! Mark: Tell the folks at home, what you're doing Roger! Roger: I'm writing one great song.. Mark: The phone rings. Roger: YESSS! Mark: We screen. Answering machine: Speak!!! Collins: chestnuts roasting... Roger &Mark: Collins! Collins: I'm downstairs. Mark: Hey! Collins: Roger picked up the phone?? Mark: No it's me! Collins: Throw down the key. Mark: A wild night is now preordained. Collins: I may be detained. Mark: What does he mean..? (phone rings again) What do you mean detained? Benny: Ho Ho Ho. Mark & Roger: Benny! Sh*t. Benny: DudI'm on my way. Roger& Mark: Great! Fu*k. Benny: I need the rent. Mark: What rent? Benny: This past year's rent which I let slide. Mark: Let slide? You said that we were "golden". Roger: When you bought the building. Mark: when we were roommates. Roger: Remember? You lived here. Benny: How could I forget? You, me, Collins, and Maureen. How is the drama queen? Mark: she's performing tonight. Benny: I know. Still her production manager? Mark: Two days ago I was bumped. Benny: you still dating her? Mark: Last month I wasdumped. Roger: She's in love. Benny: She's got a new man? Mark: Well, no. Benny: What's his name? Both: Joanne. Benny: Rent, my amigos, is due or I will have to evict you. be there in a few. Mark: the power blows. Well, my Japanese calls....I'll do the rest later...Happy New Year!!!! And thanks for posting the winners..it's nice to know that people actually DO het tokens...see ya!! (MissScully)
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What would happen if all of the sudden, for no reason, trekkies took over the world? (Mog Kupo0)
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Why is it that HO can violate the TOS rules? (Mog Kupo0)
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Oh well, I don't care. (Mog Kupo0)
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why...? (PsychoG967) (PsychoG967)
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I AM HERE TO KICK BUTT AND CHEW GUM AND GUESS WHAT I AM ALL OUT OF GUM SO FOR YOU OTHERS GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS FOR YOU! TOUGH LUCK THIS ONE WILL BE MINE! (DB12345132)
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Hello, is anyone there?? (PaulCrash)
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Spent the whole day logging on AOL. (Tocadisco)
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An interesting experiment would be to include the date and time of our entries (1/1/97@10:34PM EST) (Tocadisco)
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GO HANG A SALAMI!I'M A LASAGNA HOG! (a palindrome) (T Bone2244)
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I love you!!!!!! (WJHSmile)
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(Not really) (WJHSmile)
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I LOVE TO LOVE A DOVE AND A GLOVE WITH FEET TO BEAT THE WHEAT UNDER THE SHEET THAT IS REALLY SO NEAT TO HUMP A RUMP AND CAUSE A BUMP AND REMEMBER NOT TO SLUMP OR TO TAKE A DUMP IN YOUR HEAD OR IN THE BED WHILE YOU ARE DEAD AND TO DO THE MAN WITH A FRYING PAN AND TO GET HER AND WET HER AND TO MAKE YOU BET HER WITH THE HOSE UP MY NOSE WHILE DOING A POSE AND TO GET YOUR DOG TO SNAP ITS WOG IN THE BOG OF A ROG WHEN YOU SUCK HIS MOG AND TO SMELL THE WELL INSIDE HELL AND.....UM...OH WELL. (Docmoron)
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Dear Diary, Today whilst I was randomly clicking buttons, I came upon this neat little blank space, the very same I am writing in now. I decided to use this space for my diary because in my unceasing efforts to save the planet I have forgone paper altogether. This seems like a really safe place to keep the record of my life because no one I know has my password and therefore no one can read ANY of this. Not only that, but YOU-KNOW-WHO will have no clue. That makes me very happy! Well, I have to be going now, but I'll be sure to write again tomorrow. Love, Lani (Laninaia01)
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People sometimes say that I have a really big ego. But, I kind of like that in me. :) michzawi (Michzawi)
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"Summertime, and the livin is easy, fish are jumpin, and the cotton is high." (ThundrSong)
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Little Johnny took a drink,
but now he drinks no more,
for what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4. (Rassilon71)
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Q: If you're driving down the highway, and the wheels fall off of your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to roof a doghouse?
A: A banana. (Rassilon71)
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Hey, I picked the subject for the Top Ten List. Isn't that worth some tokens around here?? (Nokmar3)
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A random sampling of one guy. (Brett3333)
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Whipped Cream is messy when you try to kiss someone who has a mouthful of it! (Da King B)
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Fabio: he can't believe he's not butter!! (Industrry)
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give spam a chance! (Jack4836)
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police here put your spams in the air! (Jack4836)
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?????? (Jack4836)
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Sock fur is truly fascinating. (MooGeneric)
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I like it when my feet smell like cornchips. (MooGeneric)
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They tried to force my sister to go to church. Rat bastards. (MooGeneric)
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Cancer scares the bejeezus outta me. (MooGeneric)
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The picture on my Bill n' Opus, Day at a Time celendar for Wednesday, January 1st, is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. It depicts Opus with a myriad of body piercings, including nipples, tongue, ears, nose, head and belly button.
Hey! penguins don't have belly buttons, they are hatched from eggs!
HA! I caught Berkeley Breathed trying to pull a fast one on us, now we know this picture couldn't really be real. (Ani 89)