3 Days WIthout A Major Distribution Problem With AOL Circuitry - Random Game Staff Relieved But Wary; AOL Engineers Say How Lucky We've Been So Far...
Details To Be Posted At Some Future Time (Probably when something goes wrong again...)
That damn smiley on your freakin screen, hecklers. You know what I am talking about! That ;). It is always there! Staring, waiting, beckoning, tormenting, hypnotizing... I will give all my worldly belongings to the Hecklers Online staff... NO!! Back vile demn! Back! AHHHHHHH! (RbdWombat)
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I really should start my Christmas shopping. (RbdWombat)
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I have been asleep for 21 years dreaming of nothing but purple-flying twinkie stores. (RbdWombat)
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The shampoo bottle says Lather, Rince, Repeat. When do we stop repeating? If this entry is a little screwed up, it is because I have shampoo bubbles in the keys. (RbdWombat)
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Hey... I just thought of something. If you were going at the speed of light, you know, real fast like vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvroooom, and you started screaming like, Argh Argh, do you think your head would blow up? (RbdWombat)
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Do, you, think, I, use, too, many, commas,?, (RbdWombat)
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I am normal, that's precisly the problem! (ErinED)
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knock knock, who's there? interrupting cow. interru..MOOOOOO. (PearIjmFan)
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LETS PLAY (Chiefhall)
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knock knock: who's there? nobody nobody who? (silence) (PearIjmFan)
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SO anyway, I'm in this band right, we play modern rock, entertain a lot of people, only problem is our singer isn't very good. in fact he rarely contributes to the band at all. about the only redeeming thing about our singer is that he attracts a lot of women because he has pierced himself all over. I mean all over, he even put two posts through his penis.....as a normal guy, how am I supposed to compete for womens attention against that? Someone send me some bullets (PearIjmFan)
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what is this all about (MSamuel358)
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fine, I will draw a fish <"}}}}}>< now I will run him over <:[][][][]>< so take that (PearIjmFan)
There, now the fish is crushed...now will someone throw him out (or into Steve Case's office at the least)
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ok (GAMES13)
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alternate lyrics she's drunk, she's drunk, she's drunk she's in my bed she's drunk, she's drunk, she's drunk she might give head (PearIjmFan)
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I could explain this.....but you'd never understand (PearIjmFan)
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lalalalalalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalal 'n' stufffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff i like rice it is my friend one of my friends was a pizza but i downgraded her to a bagel bite. ^w^w^w^w^w^w^ (Liar16)
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>^..^< <------------that is my cat, bob. I taught him to disco but then these happy little bunnies came and kidnapped him. then a muskrat sent the ransom note, so i had to go hire rambo to get bob back. now the are dead rabbit heads all over my back yard. (Liar16)
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boom. i made a bomb (Liar16)
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i have taken over the world!!! (you just don't realize it yet!) (Liar16)
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(Minstrels) "Brave brave Sir Beergutt, Sir Beergutt he is Brave. On a quest is he for a golden cup, there is only one so brave, his name is Beergutt, brave brave brave brave Sir Beergutt he is brave. (Sir Beergutt) "Hush up you babbling idiots, for there is danger afoot. I say Old Man, what is IT which lives in yonder Cave of Death. (Old Man) "It is a cleacher of the most fowlness of being, hair of FIRE, teeth of TIGER, butt of .....bubblegum?" (Sir Beergutt) "I see nothing of the sort Old Man, where is this foul creature of death" (Old Man) "It is there you fool, RIGHT there!" {Note.** Let it be known that because of a harassment suit filed by Old Man he will no longer be refered to as Old Man...he will be the man called.......Tim?) (Beergutt) "There is nothing there.....Tim, except she who goes by name HO Redhead!" (Tim) "You TWIT! It is the HO!" (Sir Beergutt) "The HO?" (Tim) "YES....the HO! MY GOD MAN...l o o k a t t h e B O N E S!! (Sir Beergutt) "Ive had quite enough of this foolishness, come men, we will slay this HO and continue with our quest." {Note.** Let it be known that because of the graphic content of the next scene in which HO Redhead neuters, mames, or severly kills our heros, it will not be seen. Any such claims of actually seeing it will be met with denial and counter accusations**} (Sir Beergutt) "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! ......My god Tim, is there no way in which to destroy this most foulest of creatures with arse of bubblegum?" (Tim) "there is a way" (Sir Beergutt) "then speak oh man called Tim, what be this way" (Tim) "You must press........the HOly Key of Antioch" (Sir Beergutt) "the key?" (Tim) "YES .....the key" (Sir Beergutt) "You silly sott, we cant press the key, for it is forbidden!" (Tim) "i wont tell if you wont tell" (Sir Beergutt) "NO...it specificly says not to." (Tim) "Wussy" (Sir Beergut) "am not" (Tim) "are too" (Minstrels) "when danger reared its ugly head Sir Beergutt turned high tale and fled, brave brave brave bra" (Sir Beergutt) "BE QUIET ..you traveling hord of babble gypsies." (Tim) "SSSissy Boy" (Sir Beergutt) "Thats it, ive had enough of your vicious tauntings, bring forth this HOly Key of Antioch so labeled !" (Minstrels) " dun duN dUN DUUNNNNN (Sir Beergutt) "FOR the LOVE oF GOD wOuld YOu PleAsE sTop wiTh thAt CloDDishH RaCKEt!!!! ..... to be continued.... (Beergutt)
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If Christopher Reeve and Stephen Hawkings got in a fight who would win? (Bucktil4d)
It would depend on who had the most heavily armored wheelchair, I'd think...
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I would like to take the opportunity to wish everyone a happy new year. I hope you all get early releases for good behavior from your various institutions. (Bucktil4d)
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:) Hello people!!! Hello!!!! I want to win the random game (Kel log on)
Join the line, Kel log - everyone wants to win the Random Game
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please i need to have the bad frog sweat shirt. please please i have to have it. what can i do to get this sweat shirt. it's me, just got to have it. (Queenie34)
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If you hugg a tree and it huggs back is it the begining of a perverted relationship or just a freaky flashback from a previous LSD trip (Beergutt)
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Some people are like blisters, they never show up until after the work is done. (J54Chevy)
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This wud bee reely cul iph eye cud speek english wudnt it bi now. (BNealy9528)
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will sell bodily fluids for tokens (BNealy9528)
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will share home with puck for tokens (BNealy9528)
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Worrying about chaotic events inflicts stress. (Jrami1905)
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my friend is so dumb he threw a rock at the ground and missed (BNealy9528)
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Nooooooooo another lassie movie quick grab grandma and the rifle (BNealy9528)
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you can buy false breasts with the click of a button. America Online Welcome! (BNealy9528)
And they're environmentally friendly too - they're filled with the ground up remnants of AOL 2.5 disks...
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will promise not to send anymore death threats for tokens (BNealy9528)
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will flush toilets continuiosly for tokens (BNealy9528)
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will return your mother for tokens ...come alone (BNealy9528)
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Q: What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot? A: A guy will spend a half hour looking for a golf ball. (Walock)
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Will oh im sorry this isnt the the UPN network is it sorry about the bomb threats. (BNealy9528)
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One day i woke up to hear something at my door. So i got up, got dressed, and got the door. I was not ready for what i saw it was too ugly, too horrable, and most of all too hairy to be human. It was a.............. (BuGz28)
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Unlike everybody else, I dont like cats, im not sure why. Maybe its because they are constantly licking there butts, I cant even reach my toes. I once had a cat...its name was "lesion", it didnt move around much. I used to tie it to the tail of the dog next door, wow, that was neat. Do you ever feel like your flurting with a hand grenade when you start pealing back the tab on a roll of Pillsbury Buttermilk Biscuits. If you cut a cat in half would each piece have 4 lives, that would be strange. Wouldnt it be strange if a pack of wild dogs sudenly attacked you in the frozen pizza section at Shop-Rite, maybe that would be neat too. I used to think the Abominal Snow Man lived under my bead, i slept with a lighter just in case. I once accidently burned my hair off, my cat thought that was neat, i thought it was neat too. Maybe cats arent so bad after all (Beergutt)
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I hate peanut butter (UzeTheFors)
A Trivial Pursuit hint - if you're asked what substance is also known as Goober Grease, answer Peanut Butter and you'll get the question right...
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sunflower... sessame... pumpkin... tomato... corn... [a random seed generator for the random game] (UzeTheFors)
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From OnlineHost: Must...reach...crowbar....head..in..ass...desperate..need..for....T.P....HO,... forgive...my..huge...ass... (ALAN84F)
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She is a bitch, that stupid twit, how dare she think that she can screw with me and get away with it, that insignificant fea butt, who the hell died and made her boss, with that butch haircut and those army boots, she looks like a stormtrooper not a woman, and she's never really been satisfied, that's her real problem I tell you, but no no no, she thinks her poop don't stink, well I tell you it does, and it stinks real bad, I hate her that wench and her fat friend, she can probably sit on you and kill you without even realizing that you are under her pasty white lard filled rear end, both of them are sick sick sick I tell you... "is my half hour up yet Doc?" (UzeTheFors)
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Cows often eat grass, and stuff. Moo! (Moodyviper)
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If everybody in the world jumped up and down at the same time would it cause an earthquake or would we just look stupid? (Beergutt)
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save the rhubarbs.....they are people too. (Moodyviper)
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I'm at work right now. They think I'm working, but my computer monitor faces away from the door so I switch to File Manager as soon as someone come by and by the time they are in my office, they think I'm working. Oh damn, the phone is ringing. Can't they see that I'm busy. Hold on while I take this call ...... (UzeTheFors)
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If the world quit spinning would that guy know when it was time to make the doughnuts. (Beergutt)
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You would not believe the call I just had. This bozo called up to ask some questions that are clearly printed in our fellowship program announcement. If they are too lazy to look it up themselves, then as far as I'm concerned, they are too lazy for us to give them money. Oh crud, the phone again, hold on..... (UzeTheFors)
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That was my mother. After 32 years she still doesn't get it that when I'm at work, I don't have time to play around. Can't she just say what she needs to tell me and hang up? Geesh! (UzeTheFors)
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Back again. I'm bored. I put the phone on "Do Not Disturb" which is buying me a little peace and quiet, but it'll ring over to the secretary who intentionally puts it back through to me when she see's I'm on "Do Not Disturb". What a wacko. (UzeTheFors)
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Isn't the whole point of email so you don't have to actually talk to a real person. Well then why is everyone stopping by my office just to ask me how my Christmas was. I'm Jewish dammit, I don't celebrate Christmas. And even if I did, it's NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!!! Get back in your cubicle, putz. (UzeTheFors)
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Is there any point in comming in to work on January 2 if it's a Thursday. By the time you get back in the swing of things, the day is shot, and then all you have left is Friday. And nobody works around here on Fridays. We should have had the whole week off. Then I wouldn't have to deal with these morons for a few more days. (UzeTheFors)
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Have you ever noticed that bean soup doesn't quite TASTE like beans when you add a little 1873 vodka, lemon zest, finely chopped bananna peels, and EXACTLY 1Tbsp of aquafresh ? (X1FALCON)
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HEY, THAT BEAN SOUP THING WAS MINE, I THINK I FORGOT MY NAME (X1FALCON)
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Ca aybody fid out what is wrog with the letter " " o my keyboard? It just is't workig! (Pigletqt)
Buy a ew keyboard for heave sakes, o ly costs i etee dollars at your local shop
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FedEx delivered something, but it was not what I had hoped for. I don't have a VCR anyway. (Walock)
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I really need to get a life for entering a game of nothing. (TGWENN) (MERMAID255)
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Mushrooms are at the top of the food chain- you can eat them all you want, but eventually they'll eat you. (Evergrey)
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I really need to get a life for entering a game of nothing. And what's worse is I forgot my own damn screen name. (MERMAID255)
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i am nooo don't like the shoes in the hollow of the tree or mr squirrel will get ANGRY and what about Mr. Aardvark. (Evergrey)
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... THE AARDVARK!! AND THE COCONUT GOD THE BANANA GOD TURNED HIM BLUE BECAUSE HE FELL ON HIS HEAD TOO MANY TIMES!!! THEN HE TURNED PURPLE BECAUSE HE GOT MAD! (Evergrey)
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AND THE BANANA GO'D ARCH ENEMIES, THE FAT PURPLE FAERIES, THEY'RE COMING!!!! THE BANANA GOD- HE HAS A GRASS SKIRT AND TWO RED SKEAKERS. HE HAS A CHICITA STICKER! A ROUND, O LIKE RED MOUTH AND BULGING EYES, AND HE CAN'T STANF UP FOR LONG! HE ROlLS AND ROLLS< BUT THEN HE GETS TIRED AND HAS TO LIE DOWN FOR 20 MINUTES OR SO!!! OOOO PRAISE TO YE MIGHTY BANANA GOD! (Evergrey)
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I thought tokens were only used in arcades (AustnHealy)
That's what everyone told the higher-ups here at HO but they wouldn't listen...
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ok (Rabid18)
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Hey! Remember a loooooooong time ago when I said what the problem with moon basketball was? Well I just thought of something else. What if we're playing on the moon, and them aliens from 'Mars Attacks' say "Hey dude, let us play!". So we're all playing and we get a league going called the MBWTAFMAL (Moon Basketball With Them Aliens From Mars Attacks League). So then people start coming to the games and watching us and stuff. And we start selling souveniers like shirts and posters and programs and stuff. But in the program, when it says height and weight, are we gonna measure the aliens from the top of them big 'ole heads or the base of their foreheads? Who knows? (Mr Onliner)
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this is ludacris (BenRoss B)
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Hello? (Hckygrl6)
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HEY!!! WHAT THE HELL? I'M ALWAYS SENDING CRAP INTO THIS GAME AND YOUR PATHETIC ASSES MUST LOSE IT OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE IT'S NEVER INCLUDED WITH THE OTHER CONTESTANTS. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! FOR SO LONG NOW, I HAVE BEEN PUTTING UP WITH THE INCOMPETENCE OF THIS SITE AND I'M FED UP! I'm sorry for yelling. As a matter of fact, everything I just said is a load of crap. I think my inability to effectively communicate stems from negative experiences with all of my English teachers. I'm am trying to work out my problems with a therapist and hope it will remedy my shortcomings. Once again, I'm appologize for the violent manner in which I started this message. (Buckskin51)
That's okay...incompetence is becoming AOL's middle name real quick (I know, I know, Mr. Case would like to see me again...)
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Um.....NO (Rob Rid)
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My science teacher, before Christmas Break tought us how to make LSD from scratch. He called it "How to make LSD from scratch." (Hckygrl6)
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I was driving down the highway,
A hundred sixty-four,
When my sister layed a big one,
That blew me out the door,
The army couldn't handle it,
The navy fell apart,
All because of my sister,
And her supersonic fart,
Fe fi fo fum,
Suffocated everyone,
Fe fi fo fum,
I think I smell another one... (JH Probe)
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13.5 sugar-coated fried chickens on a stick (Rob Rid)
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skcus emaG modnaR ehT yas ot ekiL tsuJ dluow I
(read backwards PEANUT BRAIN) (Rob Rid)
...tey wonk t'nod I gnihtemos em lleT
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ok it was late it night in an insane asylum. all the sudden one guy yells out "I am Napoleon" so another guy says" how do you know"? the first guy answers "God told me" then a guy down the hall yells "I did not" (Frosty884)
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banana (Rob Rid)
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peaCOCK (Rob Rid)
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oh sure mock my beans!!!!!!!! (Frosty884)
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This is a subliminal message for you to give me tokens. (DynamiteG)
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THE MONKEY SWINGS AND URINATES ON TREES... (JH Probe)
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Ears are stupid. (Tocadisco)
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*** you will post this message *** (JH Probe)
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1/2/97@4:40PM EST (Tocadisco)
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Dammit, I tripped over my dog. (IMFltchr)
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Wait. I don't have a dog. Well, I tripped over something, and now my head hurts. (IMFltchr)
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Do vegetarians have to abstain from oral sex? (IMFltchr)
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If moss grew on the south side of trees, does that mean the bus would crash? (IMFltchr)
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I will be a Supreme Court Justice...I will be a Supreme Court Justice...I will be a Supreme Court Justice...I will be a Supreme Court Justice...I will be a Supreme Court Justice...Why don't you believe me? My Ma said life is like a box of chocolates...You never know what your goin to get. (JH Probe)
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am i a winner? (JH Probe)
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BOOMBOOM (shake the room) (JH Probe)
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you fall and break you back... (JH Probe)
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Well you know what? My cat is gay. Really!! He humps male cats when he is a male!!!! (AnKarynLee)
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hello this sucks!! (RANK888)
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THIS GAME SUCKS (CHEKMATE01)
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HI, I'M JUST GETTING USED TO THE INTERNET AND I THINK THAT THIS SITE IS THE BOMB !! (BINAN1)
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I have been mad and gone insane many a time. Why have I never been reconized for my madness? (Madcat 2)
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huh? (KKWHITEWTR)
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Hecklers Online. (Mog Kupo0)
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I'll take your job. I've got WAY too much free time on my hands as it is. That, and I can't sleep anymore. (IMFltchr)
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monopoly (Rob Rid)
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Enjoy brave new elephants for your tasting pleasure in our New House of Bees! Bark! (Lautrec2)
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taste like shit but i think i like it.. (DRUID AJ)
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Tokens, Tokens, We all love Tokens,
But you jerks there at HO are soooooooooo stingy, um ... nevermind, but can i have some tokens? (SQUEEGY1)
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NIKE - Just Do It (HBNAE)
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Toot not on toot. (ADTYLER)
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dogs are nice and i can't get enough of Brak on the cartoon planet and mtv kinda sucks now but i dont care because i have the new version of quake that's right it's release 75.2 and nobody else has it, nor will they ever, because i wrote it myself and it kicks ass, just like that song tainted love. Aren't ouy glad s'taht over? (Ecdavis)
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this stinks (MogDragon)
Thank you, Mog...I was wondering if anyone would recognize any other qualities of the Random Game other than it sucks...
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I also think that guy who wrote the turd story should get a bunch of tokens n stuff. (BOLT4518)
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Yeah! Right On! Give the Turd guy lots of stuff! (BOLT4518)
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TURDS!TURDS!TURDS!TURDS! (BOLT4518)
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It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses it's forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again. OOOH! YUCK! (Xoxorobin)
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You take so long reading our pathetic entries. Damn you LetterMan! Damn you! (Kumantes)
AOL takes so long in sending me entries I can even download to edit or it can even read. Damn you AOL! Damn you!
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Can I push the Enter key now?? Please??? Pretty Please??? Pretty please with tokens on top??? Why not?? I wanna push enter!!!!! Must resist evil, must resist evil... no willpower. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (SMAC48)
If you must know, I don't really give a care if you push the enter key or not...as for the AOL engineers, to hell with them, press it all you want...What do I care?
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I'm sorry ive been gone so long checkitout! so long is exactly the same as so long! no like so long! see so nevermind (BlueWaffle)