When I heard it was going to be 105 degrees yesterday, I laughed it off. When I woke up to a pre-sunrise temperature of 80 degrees, I started believing. There is no relevance between the Heat Wave and the Random Game. . .well, maybe there is. Most of the winners this week are from early in the 7-day period. In fact, the Random Game was sizzling early on. Then, a cold front named Sammy3Nuts moved in over the weekend. Attention moved elsewhere. So as unbalanced as it may seem, the "heat" wins out. If you posted something in the last three days, it probably didn't win anything.

We'll start off with the only winner actually from *this* week. 10 tokens to this reply by SGood42.
Subj: Re: Oldstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!!
From: SGood42
>>Quick...which way does the lever flip on a 5 1/2" drive? Top down or bottom up? (Khaleth)<<

I'll take STUFF THAT THAT I DON'T LOSE SLEEP OVER for $500 Alex

Next, are the three 25-token winners, which each has in common the fact that they are also replies.
Subj: Re: Abazar's Little Corner of the World - Guy Stuff
From: Lavoris49
>>1. There will be no PMS of any form in Guy Stuff. Furthermore anything having to do with menstruation will not be tolerated unless it is used against the forces of feminism. (That means that us guys can talk about how screwed up chicks are)>>

But, I had a really funny story about my period that I was planning to post in this thread. How disappointing.
* * * *
Subj: Re: what your favorite color says about you
From: MaLkNoX420
>>how exactly do you give a "hickie"?<<

You should be good at this: you suck.

>>how exactly do you "heckle"?<<

see above.
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Subj: Re: simon and garfunkel
From: TyleredOne
>>My birthday has already passed. So now I have to wait a long time for it, again. Man, seems like this happens every year. (Lav)<<

Just wait till you have kids,Lav.It seems I'm constantly planning birthday parties here.We have the "adult,family"party,which is followed by the "kiddie" party.Sometimes this involves McDonalds,or a trip to the skating rink,with 12 sugared-up little girls.This year,there were even boys involved.
Next year,I'm gonna break down and have a sleepover.
Actually,I'll have a sleepover,and THEN a breakdown.

For the two 15-token winners, we have a post by Mr Onliner and a reply Jlbkwrm. I happen to think self-deprecation is a good thing. But, I am also no stranger to whatever it is Jamie's reply is.
Subj: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
Original from: Mr Onliner
Reply from: Jlbkwrm
>>Remember, you can't spell "nimrod" without Mr O!>>
Look, there's no dot there either. Coincidence?

Sharing the 20-token honors--if you call winning in the Random Game an honor--are USAmen and Krazyk242. 20 tokens to both!
Subj: Some Parting Thoughts
From: USAmen
Well I'm going away again tommorrow to work on my suntan. I'll be back on Monday, but then I'm off again on Wednesday for that dreaded 5 day trip to Branson, Missouri. I am truly expecting to have the worst time of my life there, so if just one good thing happens I'll be pleasantly surprised. If you hear on the news that someone went berserk and killed everyone at a county music event in Branson, that will
just be me having my usual reaction to country music. So, did anyone see in the news that the tip of Michael Jackson's nose fell off? Really, I saw the pic on TV. Pretty gross, even for that circus freak. I don't know how it happened, but I don't think Marv Albert or Mike Tyson had anything to do with it.
* * * *
Subj: Random Thoughts
From: Krazyk242
Random Thoughts for the week

SUNDAY- The hair is greener, pinker, bluer, yellower, and oranger on the other side of Dennis Rodman's head.

MONDAY- If too much love will kill you, I'm the healthiest person in the world.

TUESDAY- If you sacrifice your goat to Bataluthasa, you will grow chest hair, have a firm body, and shiny teeth.

WEDNESDAY- When you forget to put on clean underwear it is a sure sign that your pants are going to drop in front of a really important person.

THURSDAY- Never taunt a drunk who thinks he's a Kennedy. He most likely is a Kennedy.

FRIDAY- Never stand upwind of a compost pile. Enough said.

SATURDAY- Redeem this Random Thought for a free Badger Burger at Bob's house of Badger Meat.

I lied when I said there were only two 15-token winners. Tocadisco went on and on and on about ruling Antarctica this week. I didn't count the posts, but just let's say it was a bunch. Without a proper lead-in, neither of these samples make sense. But, as sense has never been a prerequisite for winning here, I'll let these two posts hang out to dry. Don't like it? Go ahead and search through the board for the whole thread. (If you are looking back on this file months later, I'll give you a hint: It's July. ;o) 15 tokens to Tocadisco.
Subj: Re: Oldstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!!
From: Tocadisco
It's a great paganistic religion, where Lugar the Penguin is treated like an icon.

The religion will be called....Kumanalini.

There are no rules and there are no holidays or rites iof passages for followers, but there are prizes.
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Subj: Re: Oldstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!!
From: Tocadisco
I'm not done yet, i'm just getting warmed up.

Since there is no Random welcoming committee, and therefore is no special "old-timers" division to that committee, I'm lumping the two winning return players together. 10 tokens to each.
Subj: Re: simon and garfunkel
From: LeonardABC
I was born November 5th...D Day...at least that's what my parents always refer to it as...
* * * *
Subj: Bawling in the ladies department.....
From: ArrowsDeja
Oh, God, it's, its.... noooo, ArrowsDeja ::::::cue sinister music:::::So a little birdie named Mr Onliner suggested I come back....and I did and I'm lost ::::sniff:::: you know, like the time you went clothes shopping with your mom and aunt Betty and got bored so you started to play in the racks, even thought the kept telling you not to and they you thought it would be fun to play hide
and seek with yourself and then when you came back out of the rack of loud plus sized women's clothes that aunt Betty liked to wear, you ran over to the large woman in the bright pink dress that smelled of pancakes and a half bottle of perfume and discovered it wasn't aunt Betty but some old bitch who glared at you like you were cancerous even though you were 3 feet and 4 years old and just had a little bit of chocolate crusted around your mouth
and you really did try to wipe it off....and mommy was gone and you got scared and started bawling in the mIddle of the large depatment store and you stuck your finger in your mouth and started drooling and then that mean bitch rolled away very quickly trying to detatch herself from the scene and then the security guard came, (you know the one who worked nights at Stop& Shop and drives around in that truck so as to deter rapists or something
because you know how they're real afraid of his flashlight, many a bad guy have been blinked to death by careless criminal behavior), and you cried and cried and sat down and howled......OK, maybe you didn't but I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about...oh, ok, fine maybe it was just me ::::sniff:::: but you get the picture, so anyway, I came back and I'm lost so I'm sitting in the middle of Macy's in tears... :::::Waaaaa::::
that's how my return feels.... ::::sniff:::::

Well, not really, but I didn't know what else to say.....WOW, I'll bet nobody can beat me in runon sentances.....I hereby declare myself the Queen of Run-on Sentances......

Last this week, are the 30-token winners. MitchRK and BaldGhoti are the most obvious choices for 30 tokens, when picked by a delirious, melting person. Why? Both entries are short.
Subj: Re: MitchRK's Entries (Who said "suck"?)
From: MitchRK
I know most people pronounce the word cliche "klishay," but I always pronounce it differently because that other way has been done to death.
* * * *
Subj: Air Conditioning
From: BaldGhoti
You know, in FL, air conditioning is probably the most necessary thing for survival. Lemonade is next on that list, to be closely followed by pink flamingo lawn statues.

To clarify any doubts, I am delirious and melting due to the heat. . .not some mental imbalance. The mental imbalance manifests itself in the form of rambling paragraphs. And, you know, I. . .nevermind! Congratulations to this week's winners.